Baby Severide
by HogwartsPrincess11587
Summary: This is a continuation of 'A New Beginning' following the lives of Kelly, Erin and their new baby Shay. Erin Lindsay and Kelly Severide are both highly dedicated to their work and to each other. Now they have baby Shay to fit into the equation, how will they manage the struggles of parenthood while maintaining their careers? Completely and totally Linseride!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! As it says in the description this is the continuation of another fic I have written. You don't have to have read A New Beginning but it will probably make more sense if you do. I most likely won't be able to continue to update daily, I've written a chapter a day for a month now and it's pretty taxing. I'm also studying and working so I have to prioritize, that doesn't mean I wouldn't rather spend all my time writing this!**

Shay was already a week old and Erin wondered how the time had passed so quickly. Together Erin and Kelly had put into practice all the skills they had been reading about over the last few months. While it was uncomfortable at best Erin had gotten the hang of breastfeeding. Shay was growing slowly but steadily which provided the evidence Erin needed to persevere. Kelly had become the master of bath time, his big hands held Shay securely even when she was soapy and slippery. Teamwork was essential, together they managed to meet all of Shay's needs and get adequate sleep. Kelly only had a fortnight off work so in the second week he stepped up trying to do as much with Shay as possible. It wasn't a particularly demanding job, she slept most of the day. They learned as much about each other as they did about being parents and they had never felt more connected. Kelly didn't want to return to work but he didn't miss much. As Shay started to stay awake for longer periods of time Erin learned to use the baby carrier. Soon enough she was able to do everything, including visiting firehouse 51 with Shay safely strapped to her chest. Erin had been smart enough to store diapers, wipes and a change of clothes at both the firehouse and district so that she didn't even have to take a bag when she went out. Kelly arrived home after his fourth shift back to find both Erin and Shay frustrated. His shift had been hectic with two house fires and a complicated extrication following a car crash, he didn't feel up to soothing a screaming baby.

"How was your day?" Erin asked trying to talk over Shay's noise.

"Long" Kelly answered taking Shay from Erin, he knew she'd probably already tried everything but he needed the screaming to stop.

"I don't know what's wrong with her" She said watching Shay intently, it didn't seem to matter how she was held.

"She'll tire herself eventually" He said hopefully gently rubbing Shay's back.

"It's been an hour" She commented.

"Have you eaten? I'll take care of her for a while" He replied.

"Yeah, I'll go have a shower" Erin said though she felt bad about making him look after a screaming baby after a 24 hour shift. Erin knew as soon as she got out of the shower that nothing had changed, Shay was still crying and Kelly looked exhausted.

"Should we call a doctor?" He asked as she emerged from the bathroom.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with her, she's fed and she doesn't have a temperature" Erin replied trying to convince herself that calling a doctor would be an overreaction. Babies cry, it's a fact of life and they had just been lucky to have avoided it previously.

"Okay" Kelly said with a yawn.

"I'll take her for a drive, see if that helps" Erin said taking Shay from Kelly.

"I'll come" He volunteered.

"No, you've been at work all day" She reminded, he'd been yawning seconds ago so there was no way he could argue he wasn't tired.

"You've been home with her all day" He countered.

"Whatever" Erin conceded, she had her keys and was out the door before he had moved. She drove around with Shay until she finally fell asleep then was especially careful when taking her out of the car. They made it into the apartment without a sound but as soon as Erin tried to put her in her crib she started to cry again. Erin scooped her up and took her out into the lounge room hoping that Kelly would get some sleep. She fed Shay until she was asleep again then dozed on the couch for a few hours. It was after midnight when Shay decided she had slept enough and woke ready to play. Erin tried to hold her attention but struggled not to nod off. When Shay started screaming again Kelly emerged from the bedroom and instructed Erin to get some sleep.

"I wish you could tell me what's wrong" Kelly whispered to Shay, she stopped mid cry and stared up at him with matching bright blue eyes. As if what she had been trying to get across was finally understood she looked thoughtful for a few moments then started to cry again. With a frustrated sigh Kelly started to rock her gently. Erin took over again an hour later. They continued to take turns all night, at one point Shay slept for a whole hour but otherwise spent the night crying. By dawn her cry was a scratchy gasping, her throat too sore for anything more.

"I feel as bad as you look" Erin laughed when Kelly rolled over to face her.

"Same" He groaned burying his head in the pillow.

"I have mothers group at ten" She said miserably.

"You don't have to go" He suggested.

"I told Lara I would, she wants to meet Shay" Erin explained regretting how eager she had been in agreeing to go.

"Call her, she'll understand" He mumbled, he was right. There was an easy out but she already felt like a terrible mother and wasn't going to call Lara and prove it.

"No I'll go" Erin said handing Shay to Kelly, she was finally quiet. "If we let her sleep all day we'll have to do it all again tonight" She added, Kelly quickly sat up and started talking to Shay. Once Erin was dressed she made breakfast, Shay was being frustratingly good now the sun was up.

"I'm going back to bed" Kelly said once he had finished his toast.

"Okay" Erin said putting Shay in the baby carrier before putting on some washing and generally tidying the apartment. She left at half past nine knowing she would need the extra time to find the trendy café. It turned out that finding the café was the easy part, it was a car space that took most of the extra time she had budgeted. Lara was very excited to finally meet Shay and was apologetic that she hadn't had time sooner. Willow had grown and was almost twice the size Shay was. They talked together then joined in with the rest of the group. Erin wasn't fussed with consistency of Shay's bodily functions the way some of the other mothers were but tried to participate in the discussion anyway. She was glad to know that she wasn't alone, all the other mums seemed to expect endless crying and were envious that Shay wasn't usually like that. Erin let Shay sleep in the car on the way home then traded her off to Kelly for an afternoon nap. Kelly handed her a hungry baby after a few hours' sleep then joined her in bed until dinner time. Kelly made dinner and gave Shay a bath leaving Erin time to fold and put away the clean laundry. They slept better than they had since Shay had arrived, she only woke once for a feed then went straight back to sleep.

**Just a nice short chapter to ease into things. What do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

Erin had never really considered exactly how long she was going to take off work. She had been visiting with Shay at least once a week over the past few months and had even pitched in to help on a particularly difficult case. She had started trying to get to back to her pre-pregnancy level of fitness the week Shay had been born. Nothing major just taking Shay for walks to the park or around the shops. She progressed from walking to jogging and then eventually to running. With Shay now three months old she was back to being able to run five miles. Erin hadn't mentioned returning to work, she was certain Kelly would want her to stay home a while longer. With her stuck at home he could expect to receive daily visits from his two beautiful ladies. He delighted in seeing his daughter. Shay recognised him immediately and smiled every time she heard his voice. He loved spending time with her as she wriggled and stretched to try and figure out how to coordinate her limbs. Erin loved watching them spend time together and knew that it was the small moments like these she would miss if she returned to work. Not really sure how to handle her conflicting feelings she decided to talk with Hank. She planned her visit for late in the afternoon hoping they would be finished for the day. Erin was right, the team had been dismissed and all that remained were Olinsky and Voight, both sitting at their desks working away.

"Hey, what you doing here so late?" Hank asked surprised to see her.

"Just thought I'd drop by and run something past you" She answered taking a seat, Shay was sleeping soundly in the baby carrier on her chest.

"Sure, what is it?" He asked closing the folder he had been reading.

"I just need someone to talk to about coming back to work, you're my boss so I figured that was a good place to start" She explained, he was so much more than just her boss.

"You want to come back already?" He questioned slightly surprised, he knew she'd have a hard time staying away but at the same time she really seemed to be enjoying motherhood.

"I think so, I'm not sure though" Erin said hoping he would tell her what she wanted to hear, returning to work would not make her a bad mum.

"Why do you want to come back?" He asked, if she wasn't working for the right reasons she was useless to him and the rest of the unit.

"I love Shay and every little smile makes my day but I look at this city and now more than ever I want to make it a safe place. I want to put away criminals so Shay will have a safe city to grow up in" She answered taking her time to make sure he knew how seriously she was considering the possibility.

"Well I'm happy to have you start whenever you're ready but there's plenty you need to organise. I'm guessing you haven't talked to Kelly" He said with a knowing look, she nodded in response. "He deserves a say in the matter so you need to discuss it with him first. Then there's the issue of what to do with Shay, it's a big deal leaving your baby with someone. I don't want to hear any more about it until you've had time to think about it and talk it through then we'll figure it out" He advised sounding unusually wise.

"Thank you" Erin said, she always trusted his judgement and this was no different.

"That's what I'm here for" He said with a smile.

"I know, sometimes I forget how good you are to talk to" She said rubbing Shay's back to try and keep her asleep. Clearly Shay thought she was missing out on something.

"Is she awake?" He asked noticing Erin's attention shift immediately to the baby when she showed the slightest sign on waking up.

"Yeah, I think she wants to say hello" Erin answered unclipping the carrier, she removed Shay and handed her to Grandpa Hank.

"She's getting big" He commented, he hadn't held her since lunch a fortnight ago.

"She really is, the doctors are really pleased with her" She shared particularly proud of her daughter.

"Good, now take her home to bed" He said handing the baby back.

"We'll talk soon" Erin replied before leaving Hank alone in his office. The car trip home was quiet, Shay couldn't help but fall asleep even if it was only a five minute drive. Erin decided to think about her return to work more seriously then discuss it with Kelly after his shift on Friday night, she would cook dinner and talk about it properly.

* * *

><p>Friday arrived quite quickly, Erin stayed in deciding it was too cold to venture out. She hated dressing Shay in multiple layers because it restricted her movement and she got grumpy if she couldn't self soothe by putting her fist in her mouth. They had a quiet day, Shay was happy as long as there was music playing and Erin finally managed to finish her crocheted blanket. Kelly arrived home while Erin was still preparing dinner so he gave Shay a bath then put her to bed. They talked quietly until dinner was ready then moved to the table to eat.<p>

"What's going on?" He asked knowing she always premised serious discussions with his favourite meal.

"I love that you know me so well" She answered shaking her head. It was sad but true that she'd never thought of herself as being deserving of such an amazing relationship.

"I don't know you well enough to know what you're thinking" He said knowing that she was hesitating because she predicted he wouldn't agree with whatever she was planning.

"I want to go back to work" Erin replied knowing there was no point in delaying further.

"Really?" He asked not sure she was being serious.

"Yes" She answered with a great degree of certainty, she'd clearly thought it through.

"Are you sure? You haven't really spent any time away from Shay" Kelly said trying to be the voice of reason.

"I know I'll miss her, I'll just have to find a really good childcare place. You'll look after her when you're not on shift won't you?" She questioned.

"Of course. I'm not going to stop you going back to work but I think you need to be sure. Why don't we go out one night and get someone to watch Shay?" He suggested.

"A test run to see how I handle separation?" Erin asked, though she really hadn't spent more than an hour without Shay over the last few months.

"Something like that" He answered not sure if she liked the idea.

"Okay, I'll organise something for next week" She agreed.

"I don't think it'll be an issue" He said sounding confident, she didn't know if he was being honest or just supportive.

"We'll find out" She said effectively ending the conversation. They ate in silence for a while then discussed a rescue Kelly had made on shift.

* * *

><p>"You sure you'll be okay?" Erin asked again knowing she had bombarded Dawson with a lot of information in the last few minutes.<p>

"We'll be fine, and I have your number so don't worry" Dawson confirmed, she had been more than willing to babysit Shay.

"Call me if you need anything" Erin added as Kelly physically pulled her through the door.

"I will" Dawson called before closing the door.

"Still want to go back to work?" Kelly checked, he didn't want to be mean but she already looked stressed and they weren't even out of the building.

"Absolutely" Erin answered, even though she was feeling conflicted she didn't want to show it. They made their way to the restaurant and Kelly pretended not to notice when Erin took her phone to the bathroom. She stood in the cubicle debating whether or not she should call Dawson. She felt like she was in withdrawal, hands shaking ridiculously as she held her phone. It took a few minutes but eventually she convinced herself that Shay would be fine, Dawson was a fully capable paramedic after all. With this thought in mind she returned to the table. Kelly knew she was struggling but was also aware that she was the one who wanted to go back to work.

"She'll be fine" He said unable to bear how pained Erin looked.

"I know" She replied trying hard to smile.

"We can go home if you want" He suggested.

"No" Erin said determinedly. Erin struggled at times but managed to get through the rest of dinner without even looking at her phone. She knew Kelly was testing her when he suggested they go for a walk. It didn't turn out to be a bad idea, the lights of the city made for a beautiful view. They talked about small, stupid things, ice cream flavours and the posters they had had on their bedroom walls growing up. Finally Kelly was satisfied that Erin would be able to handle a day back at work and they returned home. Dawson had had an easy evening with Shay sleeping half the time.

"She was amazing, almost makes me want one" Dawson said, she had been considering the possibility of having a baby once she married Casey and the time with Shay was great practice.

"Good" Erin said trying to sound disinterested, she waited until Kelly was forced to take Shay from Dawson then said goodbye before she let out a sigh of relief. Erin now knew she was capable but did she really want to? The city needed her but Shay needed her more. Maybe she should leave it a little longer.

**What do you think? Should Erin go back to work or stay at home with Shay?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Late night update, sorry I had a truly hectic day! Also I didn't really proofread this properly... Please forgive me :D**

Erin's favourite thing was to roll over in the morning and find Kelly playing silently with Shay. She'd be quiet and still so she could watch them for a while, Shay grasping at his fingers and kicking against his chest. They both smiled and pulled faces, Kelly leading while Shay tried to copy him. Erin knew he did it so that she could get extra sleep but it was too perfect to miss. Never had she felt so complete, she had an amazing man who would do anything for her and a perfect, happy and healthy baby. Eventually Shay would get hungry and Erin would announce that she was awake. She fed Shay while Kelly made breakfast, which they increasingly ate in bed while Shay wriggled around between them.

"What have you got planned for the day?" Kelly asked trying to be interested in her admittedly boring house life.

"Can we come to the firehouse with you?" She asked, she had nothing planned for the day and was sick of daytime television.

"Of course" He agreed. He looked after Shay while Erin got ready then they swapped, he rushed them out the door already five minutes late. Erin left him to do roll call while she headed to the kitchen to see what was happening. Despite the fact she spent at least three days a week at the firehouse they still managed to fuss over Shay every time. They were family so Erin didn't mind handing Shay over and settling in to catch up on gossip, she knew that as soon as Shay needed to be fed or changed she'd be back.

After lunch Erin took Shay for a walk and ended up back behind her old desk. The intelligence unit were working hard to weed out trouble makers prior to the protests that were sure to happen during the trial of a corrupt city council member. There were so many people who had flooded to the city over the last few days that they needed to search through hotel records for those with records for protest arrests. Erin was amazed by the sheer number of people who seemed to float between protests, seemingly there to make trouble rather than stand for a cause. Even with the list divided between the team it was still a time consuming and tedious job. As they worked the team talked about recent arrests, almost trying to make Erin jealous. It would have worked had Shay not joined in babbling along with their conversation.

"She'll be talking soon enough" Antonio commented.

"Once they start they never stop" Olinsky added. Erin nodded but continued working too focused on the person she was researching. He had attended twenty-seven protests over the past year and had been arrested nine times for violent behaviour. He could well be the spark that turned the protest from peaceful to something more. Erin turned his name and file in to Voight then headed back to the firehouse. Everyone was out on a call so she turned on the television to see if there was a fire on the news. The headlines had scrolled through once when she heard someone knocking on the kitchen door, it was never usually locked so she got up to investigate. She did not expect to see Katie standing there with her hands full of grocery bags.

"Hello?" Erin greeted wondering what Katie was doing in town and why she hadn't stopped by to meet Shay.

"Erin! Hi! I stopped by the shops on the way here from the airport" Katie explained placing the bags on the bench before turning to get a better look at baby Shay.

"Kelly didn't mention you were coming to visit" Erin said still slightly confused.

"I wanted it to be a surprise, I was going to make dinner for everyone then get a lift with him to come meet Shay" Katie explained clearly excited to see the baby.

"That makes sense" Erin accepted knowing Kelly would be thrilled to have his sister back in town.

"At least now I don't have to wait to see her" Katie said clearly excited.

"No you don't" Erin said getting Shay out of the carrier, she had been sleeping but didn't fuss when she was placed in the arms of her aunt. Shay had spent enough time being passed around that she didn't seem bothered by strangers.

"She's so cute" Katie exclaimed loving her chubby baby arms and legs.

"I certainly think so" Erin replied.

"I can babysit sometime this week if you want to spend time with Kelly" Katie offered.

"That would be great, I'll let you know" Erin said, Kelly had been raving about a movie but refused to see it alone. If she looked up when it was on they could spend some time together while Katie got to spend time with Shay.

"Sure. Where is everybody?" Katie asked suddenly noticing that the usually crowded room was empty.

"They're out on a call, should be back soon though" Erin answered optimistically.

"I'll get cooking then, they don't like being made to wait" Katie said giving Shay back to Erin.

"Feel free" Erin agreed more than willing to eat anything Katie cooked. Not long after a wonderful aroma filled the room everyone arrived, almost as if the smell had lured them back. Erin watched as Katie and Kelly hugged and talked over dinner. The food was incredible and everyone eagerly told Katie that she should plan surprise meals more often. Katie promised to stop by again though she was only in town for the week. After dinner they dropped Katie off at her parents house then headed home.

"I spent some time at work today, with Shay. I was thinking I might try and see if I can take her in with me a few mornings a week. Slowly get back into things" Erin shared while they worked together to bathe Shay.

"That sounds good, what does Voight think?" He asked rinsing the soap from her hair with ease.

"I didn't get the chance to talk to him about it but I will" She said getting the towel ready.

"If you're happy I'm happy" He said kissing her head as he handed Shay over.

"If Shay's happy we're happy" Erin agreed. "Can you get her clothes?" She asked following him into the bedroom. Once Shay was dressed and fed they put her to bed.

"It was nice to see Katie" Kelly whispered as he rearranged his pillows.

"Yeah, she volunteered to watch Shay if you still want to watch that movie" She replied resting her head on his chest.

"That'd be great" He agreed with a yawn.

"We'll figure out when in the morning" She agreed before closing her eyes.

* * *

><p>In the morning Kelly was just as eager to see the movie. Erin agreed as long as he called Katie and organised it with her. They spent the morning out shopping then had a quiet afternoon. Katie arrived early which gave Kelly plenty of time to run her through everything he could think of when it came to Shay. Erin emerged from the bathroom wearing a dress he had never seen before, it was quite a bit more fitting than her usual clothes and made the most of the change in in breast size. Kelly complimented her then waited for her to quiz Katie, once she was satisfied Shay would be in good hands they were able to leave. The cinema was almost empty so Erin didn't hesitate to ask questions when the movie plot became too convoluted to follow. Kelly was just as confused. Once she lost track of what the main character was trying to achieve she snuggled closer to Kelly and tried not to fall asleep. The movie ended and they made their way out into the cold night air, it was very effective in erasing the traces of sleepiness. By the time they got home they were wide awake. Katie filled them in on every detail then left looking forward to going home to sleep.<p>

"That was fun" Kelly said getting a drink of water.

"I was falling asleep but now I'm not even tired" Erin answered.

"I'm sure we could think of something to do" He said pulling her closer before kissing her softly.

"I'll just check on Shay" She promised. He sighed, he'd waited months, a few more minutes couldn't hurt.

"Asleep?" He asked as she returned.

"Yeah" She replied before initiating a series of kisses.

"Did I tell you how much I like this dress?" He questioned stepping back to admire her.

"You did" She answered.

"Well it's great and all but you look better without it" He said reaching around for the zip. Erin laughed as he removed the dress.

"So this is better?" She asked once the dress was gone.

"Yes" He nodded.

"How about this?" She questioned as she pulled his shirt over his head.

"Even better" He agreed lifting her easily.

"Couch" Erin instructed.

"Why?" He asked changing his planned route.

"She might be asleep but it's still weird" She explained.

"Okay" He agreed, location didn't bother him.


	4. Chapter 4

"Morning" Kelly whispered before waking her with a kiss.

"Morning" Erin mumbled back.

"Sorry, she's hungry" He said placing Shay on Erin's chest. Shay was pulling a face Erin immediately recognised, her pre-crying face.

"Its fine" She said sitting up. "What's for breakfast?" She asked once Shay was happily feeding.

"Anything you want" He responded with a smile.

"Pancakes?" She asked with a hopeful look.

"Of course" He said getting up and heading for the kitchen. Once Shay was full Erin put her back to bed then proceeded to the kitchen. While her first instinct was to declare it a safety hazard she came to appreciate Kelly's shirtless cooking. They talked as he finished cooking then sat down to eat.

"I'm going to chat with Voight" Erin said.

"He'll be excited to have you back, even if it means having Shay around as well" Kelly replied supportively.

"You're right" She said getting up and taking their plates.

"Happens more often than not" He added with a laugh.

"I'm going to have a shower" She said stopping at the table to kiss him before making her way to the bathroom. Kelly had changed and dressed Shay and was having a one sided conversation about the best breakfast foods. They swapped roles and Kelly was ready in no time.

"I'll drop you off on the way" He offered, it hadn't taken him long to realise one of his duties as a father was to usher them out the door. Erin would always think of something she'd forgotten but once the door was closed, he refused to let her back in.

"What are you doing today?" She asked realising his shift didn't start until that evening.

"I'm going to check in with Casey, we're rebuilding the kitchen of a church hall that was burned down by some teenage idiots. Casey's in charge" He groaned, at work they were equals but when it came to building projects Casey made the most of his expert status and bossed everyone around.

"Sounds fun" She responded as he pulled up out the front of District 21. It took a few moments for Erin to transfer Shay from her car seat to the baby carrier but then she headed into the building.

"Detective, nice to see you" Platt greeted.

"Good morning" Erin replied heading for the stairs.

"Lindsay!" Halstead exclaimed as if he hadn't seen her in weeks.

"I was here the other day" She reminded.

"Would you rather I didn't miss you?" He asked.

"Well no. Is Voight busy?" She asked noticing his office door was shut.

"Yeah he's talking with the Commander" Halstead informed.

"Okay, anything I can do to help?" She asked eagerly not wanting to stand around and wait.

"Sure, I'll run you through what we have so far" He agreed. She was up to speed on everything and had even suggested a few alternative approaches when the Commander exited Voights office.

"Detective Lindsay, nice to see you" The Commander commented.

"Thank you, Sir" She replied. Once the Commander left she let Voight reorganise the team before she joined him in his office.

"What can I do for you today?" He asked.

"I wanted to talk to you about doing some desk work a few mornings a week" Erin said confidently "with Shay" she added.

"Sure, I don't mind as long as she isn't going to get in the way" He agreed, from what he had seen the baby spent most of her time sleeping.

"She won't" Erin promised.

"When do you want to start?" He asked.

"Actually I was just talking with Halstead and I had an idea about using the tattoo. So now basically" She answered.

"Go ahead, let me know what you come up with" He said as she got up to leave the office.

"Will do" She replied. It took a few moments to brief Halstead and Atwater on her plan but soon enough they were on their way to the hospital with a composite artist. Instead of tracking the attacker based on his looks, which had been obscured by his hood and the dark, she planned to use his tattoo. It would only work if the victim remembered it in enough detail. Hopefully the artist would be able to sketch the tattoo which she could then try to match with one in the system. It was a great plan but whether or not is worked was an entirely different question. Erin worked at her computer waiting for the two young officers to return.

"What are you doing?" Halstead asked as he walked back in, Lindsay was holding the corner of a blanket in her mouth.

"Feeding Shay" Lindsay responded continuing to type with one hand while her other held the blanket so she could talk.

"Just like that?" Halstead questioned amazed.

"Yeah" She answered trying to focus on the computer.

"How does that work?" He asked clearly too fascinated to notice how busy she was.

"I loosen one of the straps, unbutton my shirt, unclip my bra and shove my boob in her mouth" Lindsay responded matter of factly without looking up. Ruzek sniggered from his desk.

"That's awesome" Halstead announced.

"Yeah" She responded, wanting the information on the tattoo. Finally Halstead stopped staring and handed her the artists drawing. Erin started going through the database hoping that the attacker had been arrested previously. It took a while and most of the unit went out for a lunch break while Halstead and Lindsay stayed behind. She was close to getting a match on the tattoo, or at least close to having searched the entire database, when she froze. Shay had stopped a few moments prior and now wet warmth spread its way across Erin's chest. Erin held out the blanket and looked down to assess the damage, Shay had decided she didn't really need the second half of her lunch. Moving quickly she had her drawer open and was removing baby wipes at an alarming rate, she cleaned as much as she could before removing Shay from the carrier. Halstead was watching intently from his desk though was brought to his senses when she held out Shay for him to take. Erin cleaned up as best she could, some of it had reached her shirt so now she had a wet patch over her left breast. She took off the carrier and hung it over the back of the chair before taking Shay back. With a cloth over her shoulder she burped the infant properly before continuing to work.

"Erin" Voight said to get her attention when he walked in to assess their work.

"Yes" She asked looking up, all the information she had found on the tattoo was printing.

"Do you need to go home?" He asked subtly gesturing to her shirt.

"No, its fine Shay just didn't like lunch" She explained, the patch was drying slowly and she hoped it would disappear completely by the time the rest of the unit arrived back from their break.

"Okay" He said feeling relieved.

"Tattoo stuff is on the printer, four guys with similar ones, two on the left forearm, you should be able to figure it out from there" She said, Voight went to get it then headed to his office to read through it.

"Great job Erin" Voight announced as he stuck the two tattooed suspects pictures on the whiteboard.

"You good from here?" She asked loving that she was able to help them narrow down suspects with such ease. If Kelly hadn't been texting her about coming home she would have stayed indefinitely.

"Yeah, thanks" Voight replied.

"See you tomorrow" She added as she left.

"Lindsay, you coming back?" Platt asked looking up from the two young uniforms she had been talking to.

"Kinda" She answered, it was complicated and she didn't really feel like explaining it, especially not when she could see Kelly waiting in the car just outside the door.

"See you round then" Platt replied realising the detective had somewhere to be.

"Yeah" Erin called over her shoulder. Thankful to be in the warm car she let Kelly talk about his day before telling him every detail of her own.

"Sounds like you had fun" He commented getting Shay out of the car.

"Yeah, I'm not saying that being home with Shay isn't great it's just work has been my sole purpose for so long…" She wasn't sure how to finish, she hoped he would understand what she was trying to say.

"I get it" He said following her into the apartment.

**So Erin is going to be spending some more time at work and gets to keep Shay with her at the same time. Couldn't not have that scene with Halstead, I can totally see it happening. Hope you have/have had a great day :D I'm not sure if I'll get the chance to update tomorrow as I'll be travelling to and from the city for some doctors' appointments (4 hours driving all together), sorry. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! Sorry to disappear on you for so long, the trip to the doctor turned into a Christmas shopping trip so we didn't get home until really late...And today I had to cover for a sick colleague! I'm exhausted but still enjoyed writing this:**

Erin and Kelly tried to get into a routine. With Erin's return to work came a more schedule, she never knew how long she was going to hang around at the district. She would stay until the case was solved, Shay got fussy or she outlived her usefulness. Voight and the rest of the team were glad to have Erin back. The guys joined in with Shay's chatter and she laughed when they made funny noises or pulled faces. As Shay got older Erin started to worry about the things she was exposed to. Photos of gruesome crime scenes were often plastered on the whiteboard. She knew she couldn't keep bringing Shay to work, especially not when she started picking up words. Though Erin tried to bring it up Kelly had been increasingly focused on work, to the point that he was even starting to take extra shifts. Erin knew they were drifting apart, but what did she expect when the only reason they were together was Shay. They barely had time to talk let alone be intimate. Erin realised they were too similar for their relationship to work. Both extremely dedicated to the work, making time for Shay as well meant losing time with each other.

"I'll make dinner" Kelly announced moving from the couch to the kitchen as soon as Erin entered the apartment. He'd had the day off but she'd gone to work, taking Shay with her. Kelly had argued saying that he was more than capable of looking after Shay, Erin rebutted that she had to feed their baby. He couldn't argue with that so he gave up and returned to bed as she made her way to work.

"Okay" Erin agreed heading to the bedroom to get changed. She fed and burped Shay then put her on the floor to play. Kelly served dinner and they ate in silence, watching Shay rolling around and reaching for brightly coloured toys. They both knew that they needed to talk but neither could find the right way to start a conversation, at least not a serious one.

"Shay will be four months old on Friday" Kelly said.

"Yeah, we should do something" She nodded.

"We could go to the park this weekend, or the zoo maybe?" He suggested.

"The zoo would be fun" She agreed before they fell back into silence. Kelly bathed Shay and put her to sleep the way he did every night then showered and joined Erin in bed. The distance between them was in reality about a foot, but it felt more like the Great Wall of China, keeping them apart. Erin rolled to face the window and tried to get to sleep. She knew she had to fix things with Kelly, but didn't even know how, why or when they had been broken.

* * *

><p>Tired and frustrated she threw herself into her work. She played peek-a-boo with Shay until the infant started yawning, signaling that she needed a sleep. Erin hummed away contentedly until Shay fell asleep. Eventually she found their suspects real name and from there an address. The creep they were after had been trading in street kids, selling lost, pretty girls to illegal nightclubs. Erin wanted nothing more than to go out and help the team get him off the streets, the best she could do was find good information. When the team returned an hour later empty handed she got stuck in and tried to find another place he would hide. After trawling through the database she found his ex-wife and gave the team her address. While their target wasn't there the ex-wife had an idea where he would be, with his friend, Jimmy. It was a ridiculously common nickname that kept Erin occupied through lunch and into the afternoon. With the rest of the unit out getting lunch she briefly lost focus and ended up contemplating the Kelly situation, she needed him but more importantly Shay needed him. The only solution she could think of was for them both to reduce their workloads, something she wasn't keen on and knew he wouldn't be either. When Halstead slid into his chair causing it to creak Erin snapped to attention.<p>

"Everything okay?" Halstead asked.

"Fine" She replied trying to dismiss thoughts of her personal life. All she needed was another address, then she could go home for the day.

"How's it going?" He asked, he had noticed her increasing work hours and suspected she wanted to be out on the streets with the rest of the unit.

"I think..." She pondered searching through a narrowed down list of associates "he's staying here" She finished scrawling the address on the piece of paper. There was only one associate on the new list who had Jimmy noted in his file as a nickname.

"I'll get Voight" Halstead volunteered jumping up.

"Are you sure this time?" Voight demanded, two failed raids were enough for one day.

"If he isn't there then I can't find him" She answered with a frown, he didn't seem to understand how much effort she had put in.

"Okay, suit up guys" He said turning to the rest of the unit. Erin was done for the day so she packed up her things and got ready to leave. She had just stopped to talk to Platt when Antonio ran in.

"Lindsay, Ruzek's sick, any chance you can help us out?" Antonio asked, Voight had sent him to get a uniform but she was better.

"I'd love to" Erin said before looking down at Shay sleeping against her chest.

"Five minutes or we'll go with someone else" Antonio replied. Erin was conflicted, if she made the call Kelly might be able to get there in five minutes, at the same time they weren't really on speaking terms. He hated the way she refused to stay home with Shay when he was working hard to ensure they were financially stable.

"I'll watch her" Platt volunteered looking fondly at the infant.

"Umm?" Erin asked, Platt was well known for messing with people's heads.

"Is that hesitation? I'll have you know I am great with kids" Platt said.

"Okay then" Erin said throwing caution to the wind, she woke Shay as she handed her over. With a concerned look over her shoulder she ran upstairs to grab her badge, sidearm and vest. Not two minutes later she was in the car with Halstead, in the drivers seat where she belonged.

"I've been driving for months, this isn't fair" Halstead protested when she demanded the keys.

"I'm leaving my baby with Platt, hand me the keys and get out of my way" She answered, it had been a long time since she'd seen him move so quickly. They arrived at the address and didn't waste anytime busting through the doors. Lindsay's hard work and dedication payed off and she felt invincible as she snapped the cuffs around their suspects wrists. He had no idea what he was messing with, she worked so quickly the arrest was over in a blur, she handed him off to Antonio then headed back to the district.

"She's fine" Platt said with a satisfying smile when Erin raced into the building.

"Thank you" Erin said pleased to have Shay back in her sight.

"Slept the whole time" Platt said smugly handing Shay over to Erin.

"Sorry" Erin apologised realising that by now she really should trust Platt.

"Don't be, you're a good mum with good instincts" Platt complimented before turning to yell at some uniforms who'd dented their patrol car. Erin headed home the thrill of the arrest still coursing through her veins. Kelly had not long arrived home himself but Erin decided not to tell him. He'd only worry.

**I felt like I was losing momentum a little bit so I decided it was time for a little trouble in paradise...Thoughts?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the reviews, they are the best motivation :D**

During their morning car trip Erin discussed leaving Shay home with Kelly on Friday. He was eager to do his bit and had felt rather useless over the last week.

"Of course, it'll be fine" He answered.

"You can always call me or drop by" She assured, more for herself than for him. It was easy to trust him, he was Shay's father and it was clear that he loved his daughter. Erin felt the same level of anxiety about leaving her baby with anyone.

"We'll be fine" He said pulling up out front of the firehouse. Erin got out of the car and made her way to the drivers side door Kelly stood between her and the car. At first she was confused by his lack of movement but she let herself relax slightly as he pulled her into what would have to be their most awkward hug.

"See you in the morning" She said stepping back to allow him past.

"Have a nice day" He replied, the conversation took place out of duty rather than with any feeling.

"Stay safe" She reminded through the wound down window.

"You too" He answered turning and heading towards the firehouse. Erin arrived at work and led the briefing on their new case before getting to work.

"What up?" Halstead asked catching her staring at her computer screen for an extended period of time.

"Nothing" She snapped immediately beginning to type, though the cursor wasn't even in the text box.

"You can tell me stuff" He said before getting back to his own work. The criminal they were after was one member of a massive, feuding, family. Erin ignored Halstead instead turning her attention to Shay. Shay had started to make word sounds and Erin had been chanting 'mama' at her endlessly whenever they were alone, there was still no sign it was having any effect. The baby would happily repeat sounds for Antonio, he loved making her say 'banana' in garbled baby noises that were far from the real pronunciation.

"Lindsay, can we talk for a minute?" Voight asked.

"Sure" She answered as she got up and joined him in his office.

"So Shay's staying home tomorrow?" He questioned, she had briefly mentioned it but didn't even know he'd been paying attention.

"Yeah, why?" Lindsay asked.

"I need someone to do some undercover work, we can get Burgess up if it's too soon" He said trying to sound neutral.

"You're asking me if I want to go undercover?" She asked.

"Yeah" He replied uncertainly.

"You know you don't have to ask, I'll do it" She agreed cracking a smile.

"Okay, it's just a family gathering, we just need to build up a better profile. It should be pretty safe, low risk" Voight added.

"With Halstead?" Lindsay asked.

"Yeah" He nodded. She gave him a thumbs up and left his office.

* * *

><p>In the morning Erin double checked everything before leaving for work. She had to be sure that Kelly had everything he could possibly need. There was no time to stress over leaving her baby at home, there was too much to do before the undercover mission. Having established themselves as distant cousins in the family tree they made sure to memorize people's names to make their cover more convincing.<p>

"You sure this is going to work?" Halstead questioned as he straightened his tie.

"Pretty sure" Voight confirmed.

"We're just going to turn up at a family event and try to blend in" Halstead said making sure he was on the same page.

"That's the plan" Antonio replied.

"What sort of family event?" Lindsay questioned realising Halstead was right, their limited cover might not be enough.

"A christening" Voight answered.

"Why don't I go home and get Shay, there's no way they can be suspicious of us if we have a baby" Lindsay suggested.

"If you don't want to be here you can go" Voight replied coldly suspecting putting her undercover so soon was a mistake if she couldn't keep her mind off her baby.

"No, I'm serious, she's the perfect cover" Lindsay argued.

"She's got a point" Olinsky said knowing that no one would ever suspect them of being undercover police if they had a baby.

"You're willing to take Shay undercover? Into a potentially hostile environment" Voight questioned not at all keen to put his granddaughter at risk.

"Potentially hostile" Lindsay scoffed, "you said yesterday it was low risk."

"Yeah low risk for fully trained intelligence officers, not three month old babies" He answered.

"She's four months old" Lindsay corrected though she knew it wouldn't change the argument.

"She's your kid" Voight said walking away.

"I'll be back in ten" Lindsay replied. On the drive home she started to wonder why she was willing to put her baby at risk. Because she missed Shay terribly, or wanted to prove Voight wrong, or that it would legitimately establish their cover. There were any number of reasons but she wasn't sure any of them were really good enough.

"What are you doing home?" Kelly asked when she entered the apartment.

"I just need to borrow Shay for an hour or two" She answered heading to the bedroom.

"What for?" He questioned feeling hurt that she didn't trust him to care for their baby all day.

"Do you trust me?" Erin asked.

"Of course" He nodded knowing it was the type of question there was only one right answer to no matter how good the justification.

"Halstead and I are going undercover, a tiny job at a christening, we need Shay to make it look more realistic" She explained watching his expression change.

"You want to take our baby undercover?" He asked knowing he couldn't possibly be hearing her right.

"Yes" She confirmed dressing Shay in a floral dress.

"No!" He responded "nothing's that important, do it without her" he argued.

"It's a christening, it'll perfectly safe" She assured.

"Erin, no" He warned.

"It's safer if I take her, for both of us" Erin pressed picking up Shay.

"Please" Kelly pleaded knowing there was no other way to change her mind.

"It'll be fine" She answered pushing past him on her way to the door.

"Erin, this is stupid" He called after her but she kept walking. With Shay safely secured in her car seat she stopped by the district and picked up Halstead.

"I won't let anything happen" Halstead promised as they pulled up out the front of the church, Lindsay had been unusually silent.

"We just need to get some family history" Antonio assured over their ear pieces.

"We're heading in now" Lindsay replied taking Shay from her car seat.

"This is on you" Voight reminded, angry that Erin was so stubborn.

"I got it, we're fine" Lindsay answered as they made their way through the crowd towards the church door.

"It's great to see everybody" Halstead announced doing his bit to ensure they didn't look out of place.

"Is that Aunt Cleo?" Lindsay demanded pointing out one of the people who was sure to have the full story on the family.

"Yeah, lets go say hello" He agreed leading them over to the older woman. He introduced them and seamlessly explained how they were related then guaranteed there was no doubt in her mind by regaling her with details of the previous family gathering, a wedding. They'd found photographs on social media and deconstructed them enough to pretend they'd attended.

"Who is this then?" Cleo demanded looking fondly down at Shay.

"This is our new baby, Shay" Halstead confirmed putting his arm around Lindsay's shoulders. Shay looked up at him and smiled her perfect toothless grin.

"She is beautiful, looks just like you! Those lovely eyes" Cleo commented before dragging them over to meet some other 'relatives'. While at first Erin had been slightly hesitant to have her baby with her in such an unfamiliar environment she soon felt safe. More so with Halstead going out of his way to play the protective husband and father role. The christening went smoothly and soon they were well enough informed they could leave. They made excuses and decided to leave. Erin stopped at her apartment on the way back to work, wanting to give Shay back and assure Kelly that everything was fine. A quick search revealed that the apartment was unoccupied.

"What happened?" Halstead questioned as she secured Shay in the back.

"Nothing" Erin mumbled getting in the car. No one mentioned or questioned the fact that Shay was there for the afternoon. Erin wished she had taken the chance to change the baby out of the dress, the clothes she had in her drawer had long been outgrown. Just another thing to add to her endless to do list. Lindsay and Halstead wrote out their reports noting every interaction they had at the christening and everything they had overheard. Shay had been an excellent conversation starter. Voight gave Lindsay a small nod as he passed her desk, an admission that she had been right without bringing it up again. Her calls to Kelly went unanswered and she left as soon as she could, desperate to make amends. He wasn't at the firehouse and nobody had seen him all day so she went home. When he still wasn't back in the morning she got angry, she called and left message after message demanding that he at least let her know he was okay.

By lunchtime she was sick of waiting around at home and decided to take Shay to the zoo without him. It was cold and there was barely anyone around, Shay was asleep along with most of the animals. If nothing else she tried to see it positively, it was a great chance to get out and about. Erin took a seat at the lion enclosure and watched the massive animals sleeping peacefully. She let her thoughts wander for a while, suddenly brought to her senses when someone sat down next to her. Not just next to her though, almost on top of her he was that close. She didn't need to look up to see who it was.

"I'm really sorry" She started ready to make a full blown apology if he hadn't spoken.

"I'm sorry too" Kelly said looking down at his hands.

"Where did we go wrong?" Erin asked biting at her lip.

"When we went back to work" He answered.

"And by we you mean me, everything was fine when it was just you working" She said shaking her head.

"We can fix this" He replied a look of determination spreading across his face.

"Can we?" Erin asked looking him dead in the eye. "I want to work" She added.

"You can, we'll figure it out" He assured pulling her close.

"We don't have to, you can still be part of her life if we aren't" She replied with a serious look.

"Erin, I never picked you as a quitter" Kelly sounding disappointed, he couldn't force her to continue their relationship if she didn't want to.

"I'm not" She answered.

"Then we have to try harder, make time for each other" He stated knowing she had and always would doubt herself, it was one of the first things he knew for sure about her. She could never see herself the way everyone else did.

"Alright, lets stop wasting time here then" Erin said as she stood up.

"Erin, I love you" He said suddenly serious again.

"I love you too" She replied allowing him to crush Shay between them as they kissed. Shay protested and he bent down to kiss the top of her head.

"Love you too" He whispered to her.

"Home?" She asked.

"I haven't seen any of the animals yet" He complained. Erin shook her head and pulled out the map before letting him plot a route to the exit that stopped by the animals he wanted to see. They walked hand in hand, Shay woke up properly and Kelly took her out of the carrier excited to show her the animals.

"Erin? Erin Lindsay?" A voice asked and Erin turned to see who it was, Jenna had been to the same high school. They were never close but Erin had briefly sat at Jenna's group table. Erin turned to check Kelly and Shay, there were close to the fence looking at a giraffe.

"Jenna" Erin replied as she approached.

"Never thought I'd see you here" Jenna commented, Erin wasn't exactly sure what she meant by the comment but didn't waste time thinking about it.

"Yeah, small world" Erin replied knowing it was what people typically said in that situation.

"You here alone?" Jenna asked.

"No, with my family" Erin answered feeling suddenly proud.

"Family?" Jenna questioned looking at the groups of people along the fence.

"Yeah" Erin replied, "Kelly" she called and he made his way over. Jenna's expression was priceless. "This is Kelly and our baby, Shay" Erin introduced with a smile.

"I never thought you'd have kids" Jenna replied still looking shocked. "My husband is over there with our boys, Dylan in the green and Brandon in Red" Jenna added. Erin nodded in acknowledgment turning to see the no doubt picture perfect family. If Jenna's husband hadn't been staring down the shirt of another woman Erin might have believed they were happy.

"It was nice to see you" Erin said ready to move to the next enclosure.

"Yeah, you should come to the next reunion. We've been planning since the last one, shame you weren't there, it's at a park so we can bring our families. Not for another six months though" Jenna smiled in return.

"Maybe" Erin agreed before walking away with absolutely no intention of going to any reunion ever.

"School friend?" Kelly enquired leading them to the Hippopotamus enclosure.

"Not really" Erin answered, she hadn't had any friends at school.

"Well she looked jealous" He said with a smile unable to stop himself from kissing her again.

"She should be" She answered before trying to make out which grey blob the hippopotamus was. They stopped to look at a few more African animals on their way out of the zoo. After dinner they sat together on the couch ready to talk.


	7. Chapter 7

"Okay, so I have Shay tomorrow?" Kelly checked looking at the weekly planner Erin had attached to their fridge.

"Yeah" Erin responded after leaning over to check, she wished she had neater hand writing.

"And you're coming to dinner at 51 tonight, Brett's teaching Cruz to cook so it should be edible" He added.

"See you at six" She nodded stopping to give him a kiss before collecting Shay and leaving the apartment. During the conversation she had had with Kelly they had planned out all their free time, together and apart to ensure they were using it effectively. The work day flew past though Erin noticed Voight was still annoyed at her, after talking to Kelly she'd realised just how dangerous her actions had been. She seriously regretted her actions and was struggling with the fact she couldn't change the past. She got up ready to leave for the day.

"You headed home?" Antonio questioned taking the opportunity to play with Shay's foot. Today was the first day Erin had decided to put Shay facing out of the baby carrier, she loved looking around the room but it did make feeding her more difficult.

"Not quite, dinner at the firehouse" Erin answered. Until Shay started coming to work Erin hadn't realised just how great Antonio was with kids.

"Say hi to Gabby for me" He added before pulling a face that made Shay squeal.

"Sure, see you tomorrow" She replied trying to entertain Shay with her fingers. Erin felt stupid driving the two and a half blocks to the firehouse but didn't want to have to walk back to her car after dinner.

"Hello" Kelly greeted coming up behind Erin and sneaking a quick kiss.

"Hello" She replied.

"Good day?" He asked removing Shay from the carrier for a cuddle.

"Yeah, you?" She said enjoying watching Shay grasp at his nose.

"Pretty quiet" He answered.

"I'll go see if there's anything I can do to help, you got her?" Erin asked.

"Got her" He confirmed walking proudly over to the squad table where his colleagues did their best to compete for Shay's attention. If Erin hadn't seen it with her own eyes on multiple occasions she never would have believed just how soft the brawny fire fighters truly were. Erin headed into the kitchen to see how Brett and Cruz were doing, they had more than enough helpers, so Erin used the time to catch up with Gabby.

"Antonio said to say hi" Erin started knowing that he would get annoyed if she forgot to pass on his greeting.

"I don't know why he bothers, it's not like he doesn't see me every other night at Molly's" Gabby complained.

"Just the messenger" Erin reminded.

"Sorry, I just don't know what I can do to fix things for him and Laura..." Gabby trailed off clearly her brothers failing marriage was something weighing heavily on her. "How are you anyway?" She asked after a thoughtful pause.

"Good, better" Erin answered.

"Better? What happened?" Gabby demanded, joining the guys on truck had left her too busy proving herself to bother to check in with her goddaughter.

"We just had a bit of an issue with time management now that I'm working" Erin explained feeling stupid for bringing it up.

"Matt and I are finding it hard to balance things too, we started a date night thing. I'm more than happy to babysit, whenever I'm not on shift, it helps to set aside couple time" Gabby offered.

"I might have to take you up on that" Erin agreed trying to remember what was written on her planner.

"You should, this week" Gabby insisted.

"I'll have to look at what we've got on" She said with a nod.

"Food's up" Cruz yelled interrupting the conversation at just the right moment. They sat down to dinner, Kelly was unable to juggle Shay and eating the way Erin did. After watching his miserable attempt Erin took the baby and tried to demonstrate, he gave it another shot but ended up spilling food down his shirt when Shay wriggled unexpectedly.

"I bow to your superior parenting skills" He laughed surrendering Shay to Erin.

"We'll practice at home" She declared in response.

* * *

><p>"That's not on the planner" Kelly announced when Erin suggested they take up Gabby's offer to babysit.<p>

"I told you, the planner is only a guide" She answered, he shook his head knowing there would be repercussions if he decided to add something.

"Right" He said sceptically.

"Don't you want to go out?" She questioned.

"I do" He nodded.

"Then we can ignore the planner" Erin reiterated.

"If you say so" He answered with a sigh.

"Sorry" She replied, making the weekly planner had been her idea and she was starting to realise she'd been a little bossy. Going out for a night was her chance to make it up to him. He shrugged and went to find out why Shay was crying. He returned a few minutes later just as the show they had been watching ended. Erin filled him in on what had happened and they made their way to bed. Erin lay with her head on his chest, discussing possible venues for their night out.

* * *

><p>Returning home after dinner to find Shay already sound asleep was great. Gabby was happy to have a quiet evening in, without Matt she'd found that spending so much time with him was exhausting. Erin and Kelly spent some time talking with Gabby before she realised the time and decided to get home to bed.<p>

"We should do that more often" He said watching Erin put Shay's toys away.

"I was thinking we might make it a regular thing" She suggested.

"No arguments from me" He agreed helping her tidy to get it done more quickly.

"There are plenty of people who'll be willing to look after Shay, if we rotate through them it should work out" She said to build on the idea.

"I like talking with you" Kelly said as she paused to look around the now spotless room.

"Talking? Okay we can go to bed and talk more if you want" Erin said with a grin he knew well.

"There are other things I like doing with you" He backtracked hopefully.

"Really?" She questioned.

"Really" He assured pulling her into his arms. "We need to get a bigger place" He said after kissing her.

"Okay" She agreed.

"Really?" It was his turn to ask.

"Why not?" Erin shrugged, pulling at the hem of his shirt.

**Just a little Linseride loving to keep you guys happy! I have an idea for something in a later chapter that might be a bit more M rated...Not usually my style but I'm willing to give it a shot if you promise not to laugh too hard ;) Let me know if you're keen or if you think I should stick with alluding... Other than that their search for a bigger place is about to begin :D  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 8

The search for a new apartment started to take up any and all unscheduled time. They traded in lunch breaks for property inspections and soon found a realtor they trusted - as much as a realtor could be trusted anyway.. Erin had strict guidelines regarding proximity to work which massively limited their options. The hunt gave them something other than Shay or work to talk about. They found the perfect apartment only a week into their search but hesitated, now it was gone but it had set an impossibly high standard. Kelly considered having a talk with the landlord but Erin convinced him to let it go. They would find an even better place, eventually.

"What do you think?" June the realtor asked looking excited at the prospect of selling the three bedroom apartment.

"I think it's cute" Kelly replied struggling to judge Erin's feeling towards the plain white space.

"Can you smell that?" Erin asked looking around expectantly.

"You're right, what is that?" Kelly asked picking up on the faint scent.

"Drugs, downstairs I'd say" Erin answered honestly before turning to see that June's face had fallen.

"Really?" June questioned looking particularly shocked.

"Yeah, don't worry I'll report it" Erin volunteered ignoring the 'play nice' look Kelly was giving her. She couldn't stand it when June pretended she didn't know the faults with a place.

"Right, I'll call you if I find anything else that meets your criteria. Thanks and sorry" June said leading them back out of the apartment. Kelly and Erin made the trip to the Herrmann's house where they picked up Shay then headed home for dinner. This was essentially their routine whenever Kelly wasn't on shift. Most of the time they took Shay with them, judging her opinion based on her facial expressions and whether or not she stayed awake. Erin had agreed to look after the Herrmann kids for a few hours one afternoon every week, with Shay included it was a particularly hectic time. It gave Cindy time to run errands and do grocery shopping, something she hadn't done kid free in years. Erin always left the chaotic house exhausted with Shay hyped up from all the attention. Erin felt it was only fair to contribute in return for Cindy's occasional date night babysitting services. Cindy didn't see it that way and would happily have looked after Shay anytime for nothing in return.

* * *

><p>"Why don't you ever let me look after Shay?" Halstead asked holding the baby so she sat on his desk.<p>

"What do you mean?" Lindsay asked looking up from her computer.

"I was talking to Gabby at Molly's the other night, and she said she got to babysit" He questioned.

"You can look after her if you want" Lindsay agreed, wondering what he was getting at.

"Really? I thought you might not trust me or something" He explained.

"You're my partner, I trust you with my life all the time. Is that not enough?" She enquired.

"Yeah of course, I just wanted you to know that I'm good with babies" He answered.

"And by good with babies you mean you can make her smile" Lindsay teased.

"I got her to stop crying the other day" Halstead defended.

"She thought your finger was my boob, is that really something to be proud of?" She said loving how easy it was to stir him.

"You're so mean! I was volunteering to look after her but if you don't want me to that's fine" He replied.

"If you don't have to work late you can take care of her for a couple of hours this Thursday night" Erin answered, it was convenient that she hadn't already lined someone up to look after Shay.

"Awesome" Halstead answered and Lindsay couldn't help but think she had just given him exactly what he had wanted. Sure enough Thursday was a quiet day for the intelligence unit and Erin organised for Halstead to arrive at her apartment a whole hour early. She knew he would need intense baby care training.

"So this end goes in her mouth" Erin instructed holding up the bottle she had just used to demonstrate heating and washing.

"Ha ha, I'm not stupid" Jay protested though was forced to realise he should have paid better attention when she quizzed him a few minutes later.

"I'll get changed then we're good to go" Erin announced once she'd gone over the correct answers with Jay, she was sure he'd figure it out.

"I'm recording this so don't mess with the remote" Kelly instructed peeling his eyes away from the televised hockey match for a few seconds.

"Sure" Jay nodded realising his partners relationship was far more grown up than any he had seen before. No matter how attractive the girl he was still always going to pick hockey over a dinner date. He put it down to the fact they had a kid. A kid who was his responsibility for the next few hours, he had to admit he was beginning to regret the bet he'd made with Antonio.

"Call me if you need anything" Erin reinforced as she headed for the door.

"I will" Jay assured looking down at Shay "we're going to have some fun aren't we" he added once the door was closed. It turned out that the definition of fun was sitting on the couch watching hockey with the occasional game of peek-a-boo.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the restaurant conversation had been temporarily interrupted by the delivery of their meals. "Babe?" Kelly asked looking up after a eating for a few moments.<p>

"Yeah?" Erin responded automatically.

"Why are we looking at two or three bedroom apartments?" He asked sounding confused.

"What do you mean?" She questioned wondering if he had hit his head at work or something.

"Why not go all out and find a house?" He asked, Erin stopped to think for a moment, he had a point. "You know, broaden the search so we have a better chance of finding the right place" He explained logically.

"If we buy a house what's to stop you trying to fill it with children?" She asked picturing herself with half a dozen kids.

"Don't you want more though? Not now but in a few years when Shay is bigger" He asked after a thoughtful pause.

"I honestly don't know. I haven't thought about it, Shay is only four and a half months old" She replied shocked to think he had considered the possibility of having more children.

"Yeah, sorry. Pretend I didn't say that" Kelly replied shaking his head.

"I'm not saying no" She clarified before turning her attention back to her plate. They continued to eat in silence for a few minutes each inwardly feeling daft for their contributions to the conversation.

"So can I look at houses?" He asked eventually.

"Sure, the same rules apply though. Not too far from work" Erin agreed.

"It'd be nice to have a bit of a yard for Shay to play in" Kelly suggested.

"Yeah, and we'll get a dog and a cat at the same time" Erin responded sarcastically.

"Erin, we can stick to looking at apartments if you want" He said wondering what he'd missed.

"I just don't want to end up a typical suburban mum" She explained.

"There is nothing typical about you" He said. "You're incredible, as a person, as a mum and as a detective."

"A yard means mowing" She replied turning the attention away from herself though she was secretly flattered by his response.

"Yeah" He nodded though they both knew there was more to the conversation.

"I'll keep an open mind, the right place will turn up eventually" Erin concluded.

"Absolutely" Kelly agreed. Dinner continued smoothly though they tried not to talk about Shay, work or their search for the perfect place. Erin couldn't help but panic slightly when there was no movement in the apartment following her knock.

"Jay" Erin called out fumbling with her keys. Once through the door she moved quickly through the apartment breathing a massive sigh of relief when she found the two. It appeared Jay had settled in to watch the hockey then drifted off with Shay sleeping peacefully in his arms. Erin snapped a quick photo knowing it would come in handy one day then took Shay. Jay woke suddenly and oriented himself before starting to make excuses.

"I'm sorry" He concluded after running out of ideas that would justify his nodding off.

"I don't care, she's fine and you're fine. Go home and get some sleep though or work tomorrow will be interesting" Erin said shaking her head, not too long ago she would have freaked out if someone fell asleep while watching Shay.

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning then" He agreed before leaving.

* * *

><p>"What you doing?" Matt Casey asked noticing Kelly had been spending a lot of time on his computer in his office.<p>

"Looking for a house Erin will like" Kelly answered putting his phone on the table to eat, it was his turn to shortlist properties for viewing in the next week.

"A house? That's big" Matt replied

"Yeah, she's just so picky. How'd you do it with Dawson?" Kelly asked hoping Matt would be able to help.

"I stayed out of it. The occasional comment on structural stuff but other than that I kept my mouth shut" Matt informed.

"I can see us living in any of the places we've been, we're what makes it a home" Kelly answered.

"Tell her that, sounds like the kind of thing girls like to hear. I think" Matt suggested then backtracked realising he didn't want to take responsibility if things went badly.

"We'll see" Kelly nodded realising he didn't have time to waste chatting, he picked up his phone and continued scrolling through the listings. Kelly had just finished his list when Erin dropped by to say goodnight.

"You've been busy this week, I didn't think you'd have it done" Erin commented looking through the list he'd compiled.

"I've been working on it all afternoon" He answered honestly making her smile.

"Well thank you, it really does save time. The ones you pick are always better too" She said reaching over to wipe Shay's chin before she dribbled on his shirt.

"I hope this is the last lot" He replied.

"Me too. Alright, I'm going to take her home to bed. I'll see you in the morning" She said watching Shay yawn.

"I'll be there by seven" He assured before giving Erin a quick kiss.

"Bring breakfast?" She asked hopefully.

"Sure" He agreed walking her out to her car. He waved as she dove away then returned to the maintenance work he had been doing on the squad equipment.

**A bit of house hunting mixed with some cute stuff. I love Lindsay and Halstead's banter at work so I hope that translated well in my writing, also I've been looking forward to Halstead babysitting. Hope you liked it :D **


	9. Chapter 9

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to (in no particular order): sydcasy, stagediva23, sandygirl and biihzane. You've been consistently reading and reviewing this fic and deserve a whole lot more thanks than you get. A dedication is nothing in return for daily bursts of encouragement that motivate me to write :D To sandygirl in particular I would like to thank you for your honesty in yesterdays review and I hope this makes up for it a little! **

Erin didn't realise how ridiculously competitive she had become until she came out of the bathroom the next morning to find Kelly and Shay playing in bed.

"Dada" Kelly encouraged with a smile.

"What are you doing?" Erin demanded, she'd been spending every spare second alone with Shay doing the same for 'Mama'.

"J.. talking?" Kelly stuttered realising he had been caught in the act.

"Didn't sound like talking" She accused clearly frustrated by his actions.

"Well, no. I was trying to get Shay to do that" He explained not sure how to take her reaction.

"Well Shay is going to say Mama first, we've been practicing for weeks" Erin answered playfully.

"Really? Here I was thinking it was just me" He shrugged slightly stunned to realise they'd been working against each other.

"Are you serious?" She asked unable to hold back a disbelieving laugh.

"Absolutely, no wonder it hasn't worked yet. You've been undoing it all and confusing her" He replied, feigning outrage.

"I'm confusing her? I was just trying to level the playing field. Dada is easier to say, it isn't fair" She said in response prior to pulling on jeans and a t-shirt before joining them on the bed.

"I'll stop if you stop" He proposed narrowing his eyes.

"Sure" Erin agreed instantly.

"How am I going to know you aren't cheating?" He questioned seeing the flicker of defiance in her eyes.

"You'll just have to trust me" She answered reaching over to tickle Shay's feet. Shay responded with a laugh before babbling away, there were a few recognisable sounds but nothing close to Mama or Dada yet.

"Alright" Kelly agreed, he didn't even know why he'd started coaching Shay. It probably had something to do with what Otis had said about developmental milestones a few weeks back. Kelly was great with Shay but he wasn't they type to read parenting books, when Otis had suggested that Shay should be saying words already he had decided to take matters into his own hands.

"I don't know if I should leave her home with you all day" Erin said after a few moments.

"I'm done, I promise. She'll talk when she's ready" He replied throwing his hands up in surrender.

"Okay then. Mama loves you Shay" She said with a cheeky grin, slipping the word into conversation didn't break the rules as far as she was concerned.

"Go to work" Kelly replied with a shake of his head.

"Have a nice day. Gabby's taking Shay to a book signing at the library this afternoon, picking her up at three. I'll pick you up and we'll head to the house together" She replied sweetly kissing him quickly before turning her attention to saying goodbye to Shay.

"Book signing?" He asked slightly confused.

"Yeah, some picture book author she's always wanted to meet. She's using Shay as an excuse to be there" Erin explained realising it sounded more sane when Gabby had explained it.

"Alright" He answered shaking his head. "Stay safe" He called after her, she'd been going out into the field with the rest of the unit and his concern for her safety had reached an all time high. After all there was Shay to consider. Erin drove to the district, enjoying the silence that gave her time to mentally prepare for whatever the day had in store.

"Alright Halstead, you won" Antonio announced just as Erin walked into the locker room.

"Won?" She questioned watching Antonio hand Jay a hundred dollar bill. She hadn't really been fussed if they let her in or not but the look Jay gave Antonio heightened her suspicion.

"Yeah, just a bet" Jay tried to deflect.

"She won't care" Antonio laughed leaving the room to get some work done.

"What won't I care about?" Erin demanded knowing instantly from his behaviour that she certainly wouldn't approve.

"Before I tell you I need you to know that I didn't do it just for the money" He clarified.

"Good" She said nodding encouragingly.

"So at Molly's the other week the Dawson's ganged up on me and said they'd give me a hundred bucks if I survived a night looking after Shay. Which I did" He explained bracing himself for her reaction.

"Oh and you didn't do it just for the money, you did it for the comfy couch and decent TV as well" She answered.

"Of course. No seriously though, Shay is great and no trouble. I'll look after her any time" Jay said trying to make it seem as if winning the bet had been an added bonus.

"Antonio's right, I don't care. Just don't bet about my baby" Erin replied punching his arm before leaving the room. Voight stood by the whiteboard tapping his foot, she didn't realise her conversation with Halstead had been delaying the unit. She slid into her desk chair mumbling a quick apology to Voight.

* * *

><p>"This is it" Erin said moving from the master bedroom to the room she anticipated would be Shay's.<p>

"Really?" Kelly asked getting slightly excited.

"Yes!" She nodded her eyes sparkling as she smiled.

"So our room, Shay's room, then?" He asked looking at the two rooms further down the hall.

"I don't know, a guest room and a study?" She suggested, she didn't care if the rooms were left empty the house felt just like the perfect home.

"Really?" He checked again not wanting to let excitement get the better of him.

"Doesn't it feel right?" She demanded twirling in the empty room.

"Are you okay?" He asked, she'd been behaving oddly all afternoon and he had no idea why.

"Shouldn't I be excited?" She questioned.

"You don't look excited you look drugged" He replied frowning slightly.

"Seriously though" Erin stated going from thrilled to straight faced in a split second.

"What time did you go to bed?" Kelly asked reaching out to feel her forehead for a temperature.

"Okay, so I had a terrible day at work and I'm trying to see things positively" She explained looking frustrated.

"So do you actually like it? This is a big decision remember" He said knowing he would have to find out what had ruined her day.

"I do like it and I think it has everything we need" She said maintaining her completely serious tone.

"You sure?" He questioned.

"I'm certain, do you like it though?" She asked turning the tables, now she was worried he had spotted a fault.

"Absolutely" Kelly assured.

"Let's do it then" She said grabbing his hand and leading him down the stairs.

"You don't want to sleep on it?" He asked.

"Last time we did that we missed our chance, this is it" She answered with a look of determination, her strange behaviour left him wondering if she genuinely liked the house or if she just wanted to go home. Erin let Kelly talk with the realtor while she stepped out of the room and called Gabby who agreed to meet them at what was potentially their new house. Once Erin had Shay and Gabby's opinions she was convinced she was right. Kelly was glad to see her taking the commitment slightly more seriously. Deciding to trust her instincts he filled out the preliminary paperwork then toured the house a final time.

"I'll call you in the morning" The realtor guaranteed walking them down the front steps and out to the street.

"Thanks" Erin and Kelly replied. Erin and Gabby stood in the street admiring the house while Kelly moved the car seat from Gabby's car back to theirs. Gabby showed off her signed picture book and thanked Erin for letting her take Shay.

"Good to go" Kelly announced taking Shay from Gabby.

"Enjoy the book" Erin teased. "Thanks for your opinion" She added before saying goodbye and joining her family in the car, out the front of their new house. She returned to full blown excitement as they returned to the apartment and she realised just how much space they would have in the house. With Shay in her own room she could buy clothes because they were nice rather than because she needed them.

"Alright, Shay's asleep. No more excuses, what happened at work today?" Kelly asked once they'd eaten and been through Shay's bedtime routine.

"It's a long story, can't we just go to bed?" Erin tried to reason.

"No, tell me" He insisted. She sighed then launched herself across the couch so she was sitting on his lap. Then she looked into his eyes in an attempt to look seductive before kissing him roughly. "Erin, tell me" Kelly said holding her arms.

"I've been trying to help a girl, like I did with Nadia, today we found her body in an alley" Erin answered after rolling off him.

"I'm so sorry" He whispered pulling her into a hug. It was times like this, when she was most vulnerable, that he realised exactly how lucky he was. More than anyone he had met before her heart and head were in the right place.

"I tried, but maybe I should have tried harder" She explained knowing it was perfectly normal to attribute blame.

"I'm sure you did everything you could" He comforted.

"I didn't, I just did what worked with Nadia. Jamie wasn't as strong, I knew she didn't want it badly enough but I still gave her the choice" She justified thankful that he was willing to listen.

"You couldn't force her" He said.

"True, I still feel responsible though. No matter how many logical arguments you put forward. I just want to go to sleep" Erin answered snuggling against his chest, without him she would have fought her exhaustion. In his arms she was safe and she could ignore the rest of the world for a while.

"Let's go to bed then" Kelly said taking her with him as he stood up.

"Okay" She replied loving the way he could carry her with such ease. He didn't let go of her for a single second that night, she needed him and he was there.

* * *

><p>It was a particularly long week waiting for the paperwork to be finalised before they finally received the keys to their new home. Voight had been quick to volunteer to watch Shay while they moved in but that would have to wait until the weekend when they all had time off.<p>

"You, me and Shay. Dinner at out new house tomorrow night" Kelly announced, it was the best celebration he could come up with when they both had work.

"Alright, you bring dinner and I'll bring Shay" Erin announced pulling up out the front of the firehouse. Kelly got out of the car fully convinced that the sooner he started his shift the sooner he would finish. Voight had granted Erin a late start knowing she had to meet with the realtor but as soon as she arrived at work she was thrown into the case. It was highly complicated and took the team a long time to explain, gangs, drugs, murder, guns and prostitution, if it was illegal it was happening. She thought the monumental achievement of committing to buy a house had been forgotten but at the end of the day the team dragged her to Molly's for a celebratory drink, of juice in her case. Erin felt ridiculous at the bar with Shay but stayed until everyone had finished their first drink. It was better than going straight home after work anyway and made her realise how much the team cared. She put Shay to bed and ate dinner alone, nights when Kelly were on shift always seemed to last forever. The reality TV show she'd been watching ended and she exchanged texts with Kelly until falling asleep.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe it's ours" Kelly said looking up at the house.<p>

"It'll be ours properly when we have furniture" Erin replied following him through the door into the empty living room.

"I've lined everything up for this weekend" He replied flicking the light switch.

"Great now lets eat then we can explore" She said swapping Shay for the bag of take out in his hand. They settled on the living room floor to eat while watching Shay play on a blanket. They talked softly in the cavernous room enjoying just being together.

"This place is going to be awesome" Kelly said proudly.

"Absolutely, we're going to fill it with plenty of memories" She answered raising her bottle of juice in a toast.

"And kids" He he added before tapping his bottle to hers and drinking.

"Eventually" She reminded before moving to place Shay back on the blanket. They talked, ate and played with Shay. Shay's new favourite thing to do was throw her toys and have her parents retrieve them, if they didn't bring them back fast enough she would threaten to cry which always sped them up. Erin knew she should probably discourage the behaviour but she enjoyed the transformation from tiny baby to independent, game playing baby too much. Buying a house had made her think of the future, something she had spent a large chunk of her life avoiding doing, it might not have been what she had planned but there was no way this wasn't better. A wonderful man willing to put up with her and talk through problems and a beautiful, healthy, growing-bigger-everyday baby. And now a house to make into a home as well. What more could she want?

**Any good? I will do my best to avoid filler chapters in general (or simply work harder until I am actually happy with them - I haven't been for the last few days). ****Time for an excuse...I have a fairly big assignment due on Monday (45% of my mark for the subject) so I should probably focus on that tomorrow...I'm a terrible student :P I have not forgotten about the M rated stuff I promised, it will occur in the next chapter - I'll do my best to post it on Monday but my assignment has to come first...Sorry :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**So it isn't technically Monday anymore...I'm very sorry. I did manage to get my assignment in on time and write this today so I am pretty pleased with my efforts. I hope you enjoy this, by far the hardest chapter I have written! Have barely proofread it but I'll do that in the morning :D**

Erin had no idea why she woke up at that specific moment on Saturday morning, Shay was still sleeping, the light had not yet burst through the gap between the curtains, and everything was silent. She thought for a moment that she might need to use the bathroom but that was swiftly ruled out as well. All in all she was awake for no reason, yet she couldn't get back to sleep. It couldn't be that she wasn't tired, they'd had a late night watching movies while packing and work hadn't exactly been slow that week. She was tired but she couldn't sleep. After considering leaving the bedroom to continue packing she rolled over determined to get back to sleep. With a rush of sentimentality she realised this was the last time she would be waking up in this room, her bedroom. She had had bedrooms before but this one had been completely and totally hers. Not the hostile bedroom she knew as a child nor the sanctuary provided by the Voights, this room was hers. Recently she had started to share it with the two people she loved most in the world: Kelly, undoubtedly the other half of her soul, the person she was destined to be with, and Shay, the person they had made together, their perfect baby. The sudden rush of emotion towards nothing more than a room, walls, paint and carpet surprised her. Letting her eyes drift she was assailed with memories. The time she had hit the jammed window with a book, missed and dented the window sill, the cracked paint on the ceiling she stared at when she couldn't sleep. The very faded but still slightly visible wine stain on the carpet near the door brought back a particularly difficult night, the first infanticide case she had investigated. All the old memories stirred in her mind obscured by the things that now occupied the room. One of Shay's tiny socks on the floor next to the crib, Kelly's boots near the door, all evidence to the fact she was no longer alone. It might have been just a room but it was a room that contained moments, or memories of moments, a combination of the best and worst. Erin sincerely hoped that their new house would come to be a home, it was hard to picture the empty shell of a building containing these special moments. Reflecting back on when she had moved into the apartment she realised she hadn't wanted or needed a home then, just a space that was all her own. It had taken time but she had learned that her mind, body and soul were her own. The apartment was all she had needed to be truly independent. Now that she'd chosen to share herself with the people she loved most, it was only right that they start fresh, in a place that was theirs. As if sensing the deep and strange thought crisis she was having Kelly rolled and snaked his arm around her waist pulling her closer.

"You okay?" He whispered hoarsely barely opening his eyes. Erin had no idea when he had gotten to know her well enough to read her with such ease but it was reassuring.

"Yeah" She reassured pressing against him until he lay flat on his back, now she could rest her head on his chest and let the steady thud of his heart calm her mind. That was the theory anyway. Shay had other ideas and sensing her parents were awake decided it was high time for breakfast. Shay fussed a little scrunching her face and flailing her clenched fists. With a long sigh Erin pushed herself out of bed and lifted the baby into her arms, instantly calming her. Kelly did the gentlemanly thing and tried to look as if he wasn't enjoying the extra time he had to doze. Erin enjoyed the time she spent feeding Shay, it really was an amazing opportunity to bond.

"What time is it? Matt's going to be here at nine" Kelly asked when he finally decided to sit up.

"It's only seven thirty, time for you to make breakfast before we finish packing" Erin replied, he knew it was an instruction not a suggestion and promptly got out of bed.

"Anything in particular you want?" He asked.

"Something that uses up the eggs and cheese" She replied too transfixed on Shay to look up.

"I'll see what I can do" He nodded before leaving to check the kitchen. Of course he had started packing things from the kitchen and now had to dig through the box for the utensils he wanted. Feeling particularly lazy he cut cheese into the scrambled eggs and scooped them onto wraps seasoning lightly with salt, pepper and Italian herbs. Erin left Shay to rest more, wanting her on her best behaviour to make things easier for Hank. Kelly had expected complaints, a groan at the very least, but Erin accepted the wrap and ate it while writing a list of things they had to do.

"Okay, so I'm going to finish packing in the bedroom, you finish the kitchen. Then I'll take Shay to Hank and head to the house while you coordinate the move from here" Erin explained in an attempt to summarize the comprehensive list she had written.

"Sounds good, if you number the boxes I can send them in order" He suggested.

"Smart" She complimented opening a drawer to grab a marker, the drawer was empty and Kelly bent to retrieve one from the box for her. Marker in hand she set about numbering the boxes, it didn't take long but she was pretty sure she'd made two number sevens after stopping to check on Shay. They got dressed then packed all the remaining clothing from the closet. Kelly returned to the kitchen while Erin sorted out a bag to accompany Shay to Hank's house.

"Matt's on his way" Kelly called after his message alert tone sounded.

"We're about to leave" Erin replied fighting to get Shay's second sock on. She quickly double checked everything and made a second copy of her list, handing it to Kelly as if it was the most valuable thing they owned. "Don't forget you can call me" She added grabbing her keys, the key to their new house shiny and bright next to the older, dull keys. Shay couldn't help herself and fell asleep as soon as the car started moving. Erin could tell that Hank was trying not to look pleased that Shay was asleep as she ran him through everything he would possibly need to know to care for her. Unlike other times she had left Shay with someone she didn't have even the slightest doubt that he would take good care of her.

"Have fun" Hank teased from the doorstep.

"Oh I will" Erin replied confidently, how could unpacking and sorting everything you own in a day be fun, she suspected the one day move plan was a little too ambitious. She had barely had time to set the thermostat when Matt Casey and the first load of boxes arrived. She directed them into the right rooms and made sure to thank him.

"They're doing furniture at the moment so that should be next" Matt informed.

"Awesome, remind him to follow the list" She said hopefully.

"I'll do my best" Matt laughed as he left the house. Erin set about conducting an inventory check as she unpacked, starting in the kitchen.

* * *

><p>The day went incredibly smoothly, he followed the list to the letter and sounded calm on the phone when they stopped for lunch. Not long later he accompanied Matt to deliver the remainder of the boxes. "Last one" He announced before placing down the box in the middle of the living room.<p>

"Really?" She questioned, stunned that everything had gone to plan.

"I hate to break it to you but we really don't own that much stuff" He answered.

"Well we've never had space for more, now we do..." She trailed off hoping he understood what she was suggesting. Matt descended the stairs then made a quick exit before they could rope him into rearranging furniture again.

"We spent so long packing it" He complained as she opened yet another box and started pulling out items.

"It's just like shopping, you put it in the trolley then through the checkout, back into the trolley, into the car then finally inside once you get home. Lots of packing and unpacking, it's kind of fun though" She said happily draping a blanket over the couch.

"Sure, I'm going to go do Shay's room" He said suddenly, causing her to raise a suspicious eyebrow.

"Have fun" She answered before returning to the box to find something else to put away. She got distracted from time to time and moved from one box to another unpacking erratically. She wanted nothing more than for their new house to be perfect, and finding the right homes for some of their belongings was harder than it looks.

"Babe, I'm going to dash to the hardware store I'll be back in a bit" Kelly called making his way for the door.

"What for?" She called back but the sound of the front door closing was all the answer she got. She didn't hear him return, but she did hear Shay's bedroom door click closed. While her detective instincts demanded she find out what he was doing she decided to trust that he had a reason for keeping her out. There was plenty of unpacking to keep her occupied anyway. She'd made a dent on each of the rooms but was yet to finish unpacking a single box, as soon as she got close to the bottom she would find something to do in another room. Meanwhile Kelly worked away in Shay's room, there was the occasional thud, typically followed by an expletive but otherwise there was no indication of what he was doing.

"Erin" He called eventually, it was just after three and she'd decided to have a five minute break.

"Coming" She replied placing her glass of water on the kitchen bench before venturing up the stairs and into Shay's room. She gasped and her eyes widened as she finally saw what he had been doing.

"I know we didn't talk about it but I figured you'd be a little sad with Shay in her own room..." He started but was stunned to silence when he saw a single tear run down her face. "Don't you like it?" He questioned suddenly doubting everything he had done, regretting not consulting her and choosing together.

"It's perfect" She answered after struggling for words. Kelly let out a tiny laugh as relief washed over him before pulling her into a hug.

"I didn't want to go overboard but it was kind of fun" He said turning so they could both admire his work. The wall behind the crib was covered in carefully placed wall stickers, a tree on either side with the name banner hanging between them. On the branch of one tree sat two colourful owls. The simple black tree silhouette looked perfect on the pale, olive green wall. The bright banner and owls accenting the organic colour particularly well.

"You're incredible" She answered still stunned he had put so much effort into decorating the room. When she finally tore her eyes from the wall she saw that he had unpacked and organised everything as well.

"I hope she likes it" He murmured thinking of Shay and her growing ability to communicate dislike.

"She will" Erin replied hugging him even tighter. They stood in silence for a few moments simply appreciating his handiwork.

"I suppose we should keep unpacking" Kelly said eventually accompanied by a sigh.

"I think you deserve a break" Erin replied with a smile he knew well.

"A break?" He questioned.

"From unpacking" She replied reaching down to grasp his hand. With one last look over her shoulder she led him to their new bedroom.

"Wait a sec" He said pulling his hand from hers leaving her standing at the end of the bed. Footsteps disappeared down the hall, then down the stairs as Erin stood wondering what he was doing. Soon enough he bounded back up the stairs meeting her quizzical look with a mischievous one.

"And?" She asked not noticing the slip of paper in his hand.

"Had to get this" He said holding it up triumphantly. Erin replied with an increasingly confused look and he decided to explain. "I just don't recall seeing this part on the list" He laughed.

"Oh, sorry. We can follow the list if you'd prefer" She challenged her face deadly serious.

"That's not what I meant" He answered quickly but she had already started to move toward the door. "Item 23" He exclaimed after a quick scan of the list.

"Bedroom?" She asked moving to stand next to him so she could see the list properly.

"Yes, bedroom. Short for test new bedroom" He answered proudly.

"Ah, well that does make sense" Erin agreed unable to keep a straight face any longer.

"Shall we?" Kelly asked as his mischievous grin reappeared.

"We shall" She answered, her voice suddenly little more than a whisper. He turned to face her then gripped her upper arms tightly in his hands before pausing for a moment as their eyes met. The anticipation was palpable. Blue eyes darted from her hazel stare to her lips wanting nothing more in that moment than to feel them against his skin. The corners of her lips turned up as gaze flickered back upwards indicating that she was feeling the exact same thing. It was a glorified staring competition, with much higher stakes and an unclear definition of winner. Two strategies were at play: looking as alluring as possible hoping the other to make the first move or focusing on the eyes and hoping against hope that their heart didn't explode as it raced faster and faster in desperation. The stalemate ended in a tie both moving to blink eyes closed and crash lips together in an instant. Their lips kicked into action the feel of finally making contact spurring them on. Her tongue grazed against his lower lip and he didn't hesitate to respond.

"Bed" He breathed as their mouths separated giving in to pleas from desperate lungs. She didn't have a chance to answer too occupied by the way he pressed his body against her, steering them to the freshly made bed. Stopping for a moment at the edge he rid her of her shirt and pants before pausing to let her do the same. Erin stood frozen for a moment then rushed to tug his shirt up and over his head, he removed his jeans himself as her eyes danced across his abdomen. Now wearing only their underwear they settled on the bed bursts of pure energy coursing through their veins every time their skin touched. A soft moan escaped her mouth before his lips returned to hers hungry for the feeling of her tongue against his. His hands coursed across her body loving every rise and contour. The next time they parted to breathe he returned his mouth to her earlobe loving the noise she made as his tongue travelled on down her neck. Pressing soft, barely-there kisses along the edge of her bra he moved quickly to unclasp it as she arched her back craving the pressure of his lips against her burning skin. He flung the bra across the room returning his mouth to hers momentarily before rushing to explore the newly revealed flesh of her heaving chest. Her head spun as her brain struggled to cope with the sensory overload. In an attempt to elicit some acknowledgement of pleasure she ran her fingers lightly down his back. He was too focused on trailing kisses between her breasts to her navel and below. Every sound she made encouraged him to move faster covering the distance to the lacy edge of her panties in no time. Gathering her incoherent thoughts she took control pulling his face up until their lips met then gripping him between her thighs to roll them until she sat astride him. The friction sent them both mad and she worked quickly to remove the thin layers of fabric separating them. Kelly could no longer let her control the situation roughly flipping her onto her back. Erin tried not to hurt him with her fingernails gripping him tightly as he positioned himself above her. She desperately needed more yet there he was teasing her at the last second. With a grunt she moved her hands to his hips and maneuvered him to gain what she desired. He groaned at the way she never really let him control anything but didn't protest. She couldn't stop the stream of words leaving her mouth, his name accompanied by expletives, conscious thought consumed by the raging inferno within. The intensity of his movements built driving her closer and closer to the edge. Suddenly her words stopped replaced briefly by rapid breathing, then silence. After a staggeringly long time she drew in a shuddering breath her body continuing to spasm until he joined her. A moment later he flopped to the bed beside her panting heavily, as his breathing calmed he pulled her closer then gave in to exhaustion.

* * *

><p>Erin woke with a start finding herself in complete darkness. Kelly continued to breathe evenly behind her as she raced to find her pants and mobile phone. Stumbling around in the darkness was useless so she found her way to the light switch and flicked it on. Her eyes watered from the intensity of the light but she ignored it, intent on locating her phone. Pulling it out of the pocket in her pants she pressed the on button and faced twelve missed calls, all from Hank. "Shit" She said loudly before hitting dial. Holding the phone with her shoulder she struggled to pull clothes on while she waited for Hank to answer. In the bed Kelly stirred wondering what was happening.<p>

"Hank, what's going on?" She demanded as soon as the call connected.

"Everything is fine, just wanted to know when you'll be collecting Shay" He answered sounding ridiculously calm to her panicked mind.

"I'm just leaving, I'll be there soon" She said finding it difficult to dress with one and a half hands.

"Bring Kelly, I've cooked dinner" He replied.

"Alright, see you soon" She agreed knowing it was easier than arguing. "We've got to go, get dressed" Erin announced as soon as she hung up.

"What?" He asked groggily but still managed to sit up.

"Dinner with Hank in five" She answered, it had the desired effect and he was out of bed pulling on clothes in seconds. Erin did her best to straighten her clothes not wanting to look as disheveled as she felt. Kelly followed her silently out to the car and slid into the passenger seat without complaint. They arrived at Hank's house and were pleased to see Shay happy and smiling in her grandpa's arms.

"Shay and I have something to show you" Hank revealed once they had had a moment to settle in.

"Really?" Erin questioned not sure what to expect.

"Shay, who am I?" He questioned looking at her intently.

"Papa" Shay answered confidently looking from Hank to her parents stunned faces.

**Okay, so was that alright? I really wanted to focus on their feelings rather than the mechanics of the situation. I did warn you that it wasn't my strong suit, constructive criticism would be appreciated - try and make a sandwich: positive, point to improve on, positive. Love you all and sorry again for the delay!**

**P.S - I was trying a different writing style, did you notice? Do you like it? **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello, I was very pleased with the positive reactions to yesterdays chapter. I didn't spend nearly as long perfecting this one but still think it's pretty good. Enjoy :D**

Erin set the salad bowl on the table then took a step back to inspect her efforts. She had spent the afternoon in the kitchen, the mess revealed just how over ambitious she had been. Every time she looked at the perfect pictures in the cook book she couldn't budge the feeling that she was simply playing house. Masquerading as a competent home maker, working and raising a child suddenly wasn't good enough, she felt the need to prove that she could perform domestic tasks as well. Moving into a house had made life easier, with more space came less clutter. Shay had spent the afternoon playing in her bouncy chair, enjoying her mothers humming and laughing at frustrated growls. Erin had decided to cook a proper three course meal earlier in the afternoon settling on the recipes with the fewest ingredients, less opportunity to stuff it up. When Erin had finally finished cooking the kitchen was a disaster zone. After doing her best to minimise the damage she turned her attention to presenting everything neatly on the table. Now finally satisfied everything was presented as neatly as possible she retrieved Shay and checked her phone. Kelly hadn't called to say he was running late so she expected him home any second. The longer she looked at the table the more faults she spotted. Turning her attention to Shay she straightened her small pink shirt and flower headband before checking her phone again. Kelly had no idea that she'd planned such an elaborate dinner so she could forgive him for being a few minutes late.

"I'm home" He called as he stepped through the front door.

"How was your day?" Erin asked moving to the hall so that she could see him, he looked exhausted.

"Long" Kelly replied. "Have you been cooking?" He asked hanging his coat on its hook.

"Yeah, I made dinner" She answered leading him through to the dining room.

"Wow, looks amazing" He commented concerned he had forgotten a special occasion.

"I just felt like doing something nice" She revealed not missing the sigh of relief he let out upon realising he hadn't forgotten something.

"Thank you" He responded watching Erin secure Shay in her brand new high chair. They hadn't had space for one in the apartment, and Shay had a habit of sleeping through meals, it was nice to have her at the table with them. Conversations with Shay were rather one sided, shortly after picking up 'papa' she had moved on to 'ma-da' a combined term she used to gain attention.

"Antonio reckons she's saying murder" Erin commented as Shay expressed her disgust at being second priority to food.

"It does kinda sound like it" He laughed feeling especially spoiled.

"I'm a little worried about the words she's going to pick up if she keeps coming to work with me" She replied.

"That could be a problem" He agreed. "This is amazing by the way."

"I wasn't sure it would be edible, the cook book may as well have been written in another language" She said before realising this was one of the instances where her habit of turning down praise could be seen as rude.

"It's great, you just have to trust yourself" Kelly assured eating with vigour to evidence just how great it tasted. Not trusting herself not to accept the praise she didn't reply simply giving him a smile in response. "The guys want to know when the house warming party is" He said after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"Oh, I hadn't even thought about it, we could do something on the weekend though, you aren't working Saturday" Erin answered not sure exactly how complicated hosting a party could be.

"It doesn't have to be big" He said feeling as if he shouldn't have brought it up, she'd worked so hard to make a nice dinner and now he wanted her to organise and host a party.

"Yeah, it's a good idea though, we don't really get together with everyone very often" She replied not at all worried by the idea, all of their friends were fairly laid back.

"We'll organise it together" He added.

"Of course. Now about Shay and work, she's getting bigger..." Erin started not exactly sure where she wanted the discussion to go.

"We'll look into daycare, it'll only ever be few days a week because I'll still look after her on my days off" He filled in for her.

"But then I only get to see her before and after work and on weekends" She replied revealing the real issue behind her hesitation.

"I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do to change it but you can't have everything" He said wisely.

"I know, I just don't want to miss anything" She answered though there was no other solution she could think of.

"You won't. The only difference will be that you won't have to look after her at work, you'll be too busy out on the streets chasing down criminals to worry about her" He reasoned. It was easy enough to talk about the danger her job entailed, it was actually sending her off to work knowing she might not come home that was the difficult part.

"Alright, I'll ask around and do some research" She agreed just as the oven timer sounded, desert was ready. Of all the things she had ever cooked the Chocolate Lava Cakes turned out the best, perfectly baked outsides and gooey centered as well. Kelly refused to let Erin clean up and instead sent her upstairs to bathe Shay. Once Shay was asleep in bed they started the preliminary planning for their house warming party.

* * *

><p>Saturday arrived before doubt had a chance to set in. From the very beginning Erin had been eager to be a good host and Kelly had continually had to tone down her plans. With only half an hour left until guests started arriving she allowed herself a moment of panic, there was still so much to be done. The fact that Kelly had just installed a baby gate at the top of the stairs didn't help. The mechanism on the safety device was stiff and unyielding delaying any trip up or down the stairs considerably. Erin tried desperately to keep her cool but snapped slightly when she tried to descend the stairs with both hands full, beyond frustrated she instructed him to remove the gate, it wasn't as if Shay was even mobile yet. Kelly argued that it had taken him almost an hour to install then volunteered to get anything she needed, she accepted the offer and made the most of it hurrying to get everything looking presentable in time. Using a table cloth she covered the two remaining unpacked boxes, both full of books, to turn them into impromptu tables. Erin learned quickly that the worst part of being a host was the delay between finishing setting up and when people started arriving. As always the Herrmann's were the first to arrive, Chris joked that if they weren't the first they'd be the last. Erin loved the way Cindy managed her brood, keeping the peace from a distance. Kelly took door duty while Erin chatted away with Cindy then snuck upstairs to show her Shay's beautiful room. Along the way Cindy taught her some tricks of the trade regarding the baby gate and Erin's loathing for the device quickly dissipated now that she could actually get it open.<p>

"I'm going to change her, keep an ear out for the door" Kelly said holding Shay at arms length the way he always did when she soiled her diaper.

"Okay" She replied checking to see the living room occupied by happy guests. It didn't take long for the doorbell to ring. "What on earth?" Erin demanded stepping aside quickly to let Hank and Alvin through, between them they carried a large cardboard box.

"It's your present" Hank winked trying to avoid the door frame as he moved into the living room.

"What is it?" She questioned scanning the plain cardboard box for clues.

"Well the other night at dinner you complained that you needed bookshelves" Hank explained.

"Yeah" Erin replied finally understanding the box.

"Well you see I bought this at IKEA a while back but then I moved back into the house. They've just been sitting in the garage unopened, it's fine if you don't like them" Alvin continued.

"Thank you, that's great" She said knowing she would easily find a place for them no matter what they looked like. The house still seemed bare in places, her furniture looked great in an apartment but the sheer size of the house dwarfed it.

"We'll just leave it here for now" Hank said placing down the box along the far wall, out of the way of guests. Erin hadn't noticed that her improvised moving box table now covered in presents of various shapes, sizes and wrappings.

"I didn't know we'd get presents" Erin whispered to Kelly when he returned and handed Shay over.

"Of course" He winked stopping beside her to watch their friends mingle.

"We should have parties like this more often" She joked.

"I don't plan on moving again any time soon so enjoy it while it lasts" He replied kissing her forehead quickly before heading to the kitchen for a beer. Erin joined in a conversation and took the chance to enjoy the moment. Their new house was filled with all the people they held near and dear, the atmosphere fun and relaxed. After everyone had finished eating they opened presents, two creatively wrapped potted plants amongst other useful and thoughtful household items.

"You can look after a baby but I'm not sure you won't kill that" Jay teased as Erin placed the pot plant in the empty corner of the living room.

"I bet you looked for the most complicated one" She responded catching his cheeky grin before turning to read the label. It wasn't particularly tricky, keep out of direct sunlight and water regularly, surely she could do that.

"I hope you don't mind, it's a lame present but I had no idea what else to get" Jay said finally.

"I really like it actually, nice and green" Erin said turning the pot so the best foliage was at the front. "For now anyway" She muttered not even trusting her own ability to care for the plant. They talked for a while until Kelly requested Erin, one of four sober people in the house, drive his friends home. It took a few minutes for him to explain the directions but soon enough she felt like the typical suburban mother, taxiing people around.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" He asked when she returned to the nearly empty house.

"The party or being in a car with your squad? I have a slightly better appreciation of what happens in the squad truck now" She answered.

"They weren't too bad were they?" He questioned wondering who he would need to discipline.

"They were fine and the party was great too" She answered before turning her attention to ushering the last few people out. After a very quick clean up they headed up to get Shay ready for bed already dreading the effect the late night would have on her mood the next day.

"Bed time?" He questioned watching Erin settle Shay into her crib.

"I'll be there in a sec" She confirmed in essence giving him permission to leave her with Shay. It took slightly longer than she anticipated with Shay still to excited from the various guests to go to sleep. When she finally made it to the bedroom she was fighting to stop herself yawning constantly. She knew that if she didn't laugh she'd cry as Kelly's snores filled the room sentencing her to a less than ideal nights sleep.

**So I wanted them to have another opportunity to get together with everyone. I only write the interesting parts but in reality their lives, with such tight work schedules, leave little time for socialisation. Couldn't help but throw some IKEA furniture in there...might have to write about the assembly for a bit of a laugh next chapter! If Erin was that frustrated by a baby gate I can't imagine her trying to decipher IKEA instructions. I plan on getting a Christmas themed chapter up tomorrow but then I'll be taking a few days off to spend time with my family. If you don't get the chance to read the Christmas chapter between now and the day (it's a hectic time of year for most) I hope you have a great Christmas/Holiday :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**I decided to upload late so that those of you in my timezone are more likely to read it in the morning ;) Not really, I was just busy all day! This is the Christmas chapter with added IKEA furniture construction scene as a Christmas present to you all (once it was in my head I couldn't help but write it down). To those of you who don't celebrate Christmas I hope you have a nice holiday and to those who do Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a safe and happy break, enjoying the things that really matter family, friends and food... **

"I swear it makes more sense this way" Kelly said rotating the instructions one hundred and eighty degrees.

"Give it to me" Erin answered carefully putting the handful of screws on the ground before snatching the piece of paper. The quizzical look on her face indicated she also didn't understand the picture.

"If we put this bit here and screw it in then add the next shelf it'll be fine" He said turning his attention to the parts of the furniture.

"No then it'll be backwards and we'll see the ugly side" She answered looking up from the diagram to better understand what he was saying.

"Ugly side..." He grumbled in response before flipping the piece.

"I think I've got it" She announced holding the instructions in front of him before explaining, based on the previous and next steps what the instructions were actually telling them to do.

"Makes sense" He agreed reluctantly before configuring the pieces the way they appeared in the pictorial instructions. With Erin translating and Kelly building bookshelf construction continued smoothly. The final screw was missing sparking a house wide search, though it was eventually located in Kelly's pocket.

"It's done" Erin sighed stepping back slowly to admire the bookshelf. It really shouldn't have taken an hour and a half to construct.

"Time to add some books" He said smiling broadly now that the task was nearing completion.

"Don't put that one there, it's too heavy" Erin warned but Kelly didn't listen. As they headed toward the stairs, ready for bed after a long night of furniture construction a thudding noise indicated he should have listened. The whole shelf had fallen, expelling all the books causing them to thunder to the floor. Shay was woken by the sound and her cries could be heard from the bottom of the stairs. "I'll get her, you fix that" Erin instructed before heading to console Shay.

* * *

><p>"It's Christmas next week" Kelly reminded as they fought their way through the unusually crowded mall towards the grocery store.<p>

"Yeah, we aren't doing anything big are we?" Erin questioned wondering if he had made any plans.

"No, just lunch with Hank like last year?" He asked knowing it was a Christmas tradition for Erin.

"Actually, I don't think we should make Hank host, he's been working so hard recently and I swear he's lost weight" She said wishing she had more time with him to find out exactly what had been going on.

"We could do it, nothing fancy just something quiet and simple" He agreed securing Shay in the trolley.

"Sounds good, I'll tell him at work tomorrow" Erin said aloud, more to secure on her mental to do list than for Kelly's benefit. They started up and down the aisles laughing when they reached for the same product at the same time.

"Did you bring the list" He asked suddenly.

"Of course" She answered handing him the crumpled piece of paper. They didn't get the chance to shop together very often so making a list was important.

"After this we could get some decorations, like a tree and stuff"

"An artificial one. I spent enough time walking around in fields to find 'the perfect tree' with Hank as a kid" She laughed remembering the freezing cold adventure and the mug of hot chocolate Camille had waiting when they arrived home with what was forever referred to as the best Christmas tree.

"Okay, what's for dinner tonight?" He questioned pulling her focus back to the shopping. Once the shopping was in the car they decided they'd leave Christmas tree shopping for another day, they'd bought a lot of cold food and Shay was grumpy.

"You're really hard to buy for so can we just agree on one present each. We'll both get stuff for Shay though" Erin suggested as they unpacked the shopping. Shay was oblivious to the conversation as she slept in her car seat on the kitchen floor, not that she had any idea what Christmas was.

"Yeah, sounds good, do you think she'll be able to unwrap presents by herself?" He agreed tessellating their purchases to take up the least room in the pantry.

"Maybe, she's getting more coordinated. It'll be fun to watch her try anyway" She said looking forward to a quiet day at home together. Work had been hectic over the last few weeks and combined with the stress of finding a suitable daycare center for Shay she'd barely had time to consider the holiday. Kelly had been equally busy as the number of house fires increased as winter set in.

"Anything in particular you want?" He questioned, she really was the hardest person to buy for.

"Surprise me" She challenged not having even having considered presents for herself yet, she was too busy brainstorming ideas for him.

"Great" He groaned, now he'd have to get back in favour with Gabby so he could get something half decent. Not that he was out of favour, she just didn't like how friendly he was with Sylvie Brett.

"It doesn't have to be big or fancy, spending time together as a family is a present in itself" She said wisely fitting the last of their purchases in the freezer.

"Alright, what are we doing this afternoon then?" He asked looking across the room to see that Shay was still asleep. As soon as she woke up they could do something together.

* * *

><p>"So I hope you know I'm terrible at this" Erin warned selecting the only rectangular box among the stack of things they had bought Shay for Christmas.<p>

"Well I'm lousy too, I'm starting to think we'd have been better off paying the people at the shop to wrap this" Kelly answered holding up an irregularly shaped toy.

"It doesn't have to look great" She assured getting stuck into wrapping the box, struggling with a rectangle did not bode well for the rest of the evening. If nothing else it was a highly comedic experience, they both ended up covered in tape and the room was a complete mess. When all the presents were finally wrapped they placed them under the tree. The wrapping paper covering the ridiculously large teddy bear they had bought Shay tore as Kelly tried to place it so it was quickly shifted to the back of the display.

"Done?" He questioned.

"Done" She assured, she'd snuck his present in right at the base of the tree, it wasn't very big so she hoped he hadn't noticed it.

"Bed?" He asked before wrapping his arm around her shoulders and guiding her up the stairs. Erin found it hard to sleep strangely eager to open presents in the morning. Christmas had never meant anything but family and food, now that she had her own family it was suddenly vital that it go smoothly. Without even realising she'd fallen asleep she woke as Kelly flung the curtains open to let in the bright morning sun. "Merry Christmas" He announced before flopping back onto the bed to kiss her good morning.

"Already?" She asked feeling as if no time had passed at all.

"Presents" He shouted before launching himself off the bed. Erin took her time and was finally fully awake when Kelly returned with Shay.

"Did you wake her?" Erin asked.

"Yeah, it's Christmas, you can't sleep in on Christmas" He replied, she wondered if he had always been as excited about the day or if having Shay had affected him as well.

"Merry Christmas baby" Erin said taking Shay from Kelly, he'd even gone to the trouble of dressing her in her 'My First Christmas' shirt and green and red stripy pants. The Christmas hat sat crooked on her head and they both knew the moment they looked away it would be removed. Erin pulled out her phone and snapped a few photos before finally giving in to Kelly's demands and heading downstairs. In the morning light the tree and presents looked even more magical. After a few more photos they settled onto the couch trying to read each others minds.

"So the mature thing to do would be to help Shay open her presents first..." Erin said eventually eying the one wrapped item she knew hadn't been there when they'd gone to bed.

"She's still pretty sleepy, I say we open ours first" He said eager to see her face when she opened the present he had purchased.

"Sounds good to me" She said getting up to dig his present out from among the others. "Here you go". He took the small box, wrapped in blue paper with white snowflakes and could barely contain his excitement. Carefully peeling back the tape and paper revealed a plain black box. He opened it carefully and pulled out the present. What appeared to be normal dog tags on a chain were actually a highly personalised gift.

"Wow" He let out while flicking from the first tag, with his name, date of birth and other personal information to the second. The silver surface had been laser etched to create a perfect picture of Erin and Shay. He recognised the image immediately, it was his favourite photo of the pair and had been set as his phone background photo for more than a month. "It's beautiful" He said finally looking up to show Erin just how pleased he was.

"I know you already wear a necklace" She started but wasn't able to finish as he pulled her into a hug.

"It's perfect and I love it" He said kissing her head then proceeding to put his present on.

"Did you see the back?" She asked, he fumbled with it then turned over the tags revealing the words 'Stay Safe'. It had been something they had started saying to each other every time they went to work, in their time together they had both learned just how dangerous their occupations could be.

"Now you have to open yours" He said getting up and retrieving her present, it was a large, almost flat rectangle. She had absolutely no idea what it could be so set about unwrapping it straight away.

"This is exciting" She said finally pulling away the paper. Before her stood a canvas print of a photo she had never seen before: tiny Shay curled and peacefully sleeping in Kelly's fire helmet. "When was this taken?" She asked stunned that she had never seen the perfect image before.

"The day she was born" He replied still not sure if she liked it.

"It's amazing, she was so small" Erin said letting sentimentality wash over her for a moment before giving him a big smile to show she liked the gift.

"Gabby helped me organise getting it enlarged and printed" He explained.

"I can't believe I haven't seen it before, it's the most perfect photo" She said still shocked at just how thoughtful a gift it was. The fact that both their gifts had ties to Shay made her realise just how important her small family was.

"Not bad for a phone photo" He laughed relieved she liked the present.

"I'm going to hang it on that wall there so that everyone can see it" Erin declared pointing to the bare wall above the couch.

"I'll hang it" He volunteered "after we open more presents"

"Shay can open her own" She responded placing Shay on the floor in front of the presents. Shay shuffled herself forward a little and grabbed at a present, it took a few attempts but soon it was in her lap. Kelly pulled one corner of the paper loose and from there she tore it off, her gummy smile indicating just how much she was enjoying it. Erin took the box and fought to get the toy out, plastic ties making it nearly impossible. The glow in the dark teddy bear was discarded for another present and wrapping paper shredding opportunity. What baby didn't want a miniature fire truck, complete with lights and sirens. Kelly stopped to take some photos loving every look Shay gave, delight followed by confusion and anger when the tape stuck to her hand. Once the gift opening portion of the morning was done they moved on to breakfast and lunch preparations. Kelly kept Shay occupied and decorated the table while Erin worked in the kitchen, she didn't have a recipe but seemed quite confident. Hank, Nadia, Antonio and Jay arrived on time and soon enough lunch was on the table. It was calm, quiet and as far as Erin was concerned the perfect way to spend Christmas. Antonio tried but failed to teach Shay to say Christmas and the afternoon disappeared as they ate, talked and laughed the day away. Erin sent everyone home with an assortment of leftovers then cuddled on the couch with Kelly and Shay to watch a Christmas movie. Shay fell asleep very quickly, exhausted after a long day filled with presents and family, leaving Erin and Kelly to talk softly until the movie ended.

"I like Christmas" He said as the credits began to roll.

"I like Christmas with you" She answered pressing a kiss to his forehead as she got up, taking Shay up to bed. She joined him in the kitchen a few moments later, making sure everything was washed and put away properly before they made their way to bed. On the way Erin caught herself stopping to stare at her present, Shay had been so tiny and had grown so quickly. Rather than looking to the future she reflected on the past, instantly filled with a sense of self pride she'd never felt before. Feeling more contented than ever before she joined Kelly in bed and slept soundly.

**I could have gone on and on with descriptions but wanted to keep things short and sweet. Hope you liked it :D What did you think of their presents to each other? I don't know how viable it is but picturing a tiny baby in a fire helmet was too cute to resist...just had to figure out how to weave it into the story. I feel like Kelly is really acing the dad and partner role. Thanks for reading! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello, I've had a lovely break but I'm back and ready to go! I spent a fair bit of time planning so I have a much clearer vision of what I want to happen in the next few chapters. I hope you enjoyed your break as well :D**

Kelly had a dilemma. Erin hadn't mentioned the possibility of putting Shay in daycare for weeks. They had both been increasingly busy over the holiday period so they hadn't exactly had much time to talk about it. They hadn't been able to find someone to look after Shay so there would be no date night that week. Not that Kelly really wanted to bring the topic of daycare up while they were out together, or at all for that matter. He had however noticed that Erin always seemed happier when she returned home after a long day at work without Shay. Exhausted but fulfilled after a day of making Chicago a safer city. It was a feeling Kelly knew well, the feeling of knowing for sure a house was clear as flames consumed it, that he had done his job as best he could. He also knew what it was like not to be able to work to his full potential, injury had left him unable to do the job he loved on more than one occasion. While Erin would never admit it he was certain taking Shay to work was slowing her down. The dilemma was how to bring it up tactfully. Kelly decided the only solution was to stage date night at home, cook something nice and then bring it up over dinner. Executing the plan was considerably easier than he had expected. With Shay in the baby carrier on his chest he was able to put together Erin's favourite meal, chicken and asparagus Risotto. Erin arrived home just in time to watch him serve dinner. She was intrigued that Kelly had gone to the effort of making her favourite meal and focused on appreciating the gesture rather than questioning the motive behind it.

"Looks good" Erin commented helping him undo the baby carrier and settle Shay in her high chair.

"You've been working all day and I didn't think you'd let me get away with a third lot of take out" He replied.

"Yeah no twice is enough, but you still didn't have to go to the effort of making my favourite" She said making sure he knew that she was thankful. She was hoping that by appearing positive he would divulge the reason for his meal preparation sooner.

"Well I hope you like it, I figured Shay could try some too" He said motioning to the plastic spoon on the high chair tray. They had started letting Shay try some of their foods enjoying her reactions to new and interesting tastes and textures.

"I think she'll like it" Erin said taking the spoon and scooping up some of the rice before blowing on it gently. When she was certain it was cool enough she fed it to Shay, at first she screwed up her face but soon realised it didn't actually taste bad. Erin handed Shay the spoon, letting her play with and dribble on it for a little while.

"It's not as good as when you make it" He noted.

"That's because I add a secret ingredient" She smiled.

"How can I make your favourite meal the way you like if you won't tell me all the ingredients?" He asked, playfully frustrated.

"We don't currently own any of the secret ingredient so telling wouldn't make a difference" She defended.

"Well it's still alright" He sighed.

"It's great, I love it, and I love you" She assured reaching across the table to hold his hand. Now would be the perfect opportunity for him to bring up whatever he was going to bring up. Instead he turned his attention to his food leaving them to eat in silence. Erin started to think she had misread the situation, maybe he simply made dinner to be nice.

"You didn't tell me about your day" Kelly said when the Shay stopped babbling and the silence extended.

"It was good, we tracked down some stolen property which helped solve a murder" She said picking the most interesting part of a day spent mostly behind her desk doing paperwork.

"Look, I really don't want to be the one to bring it up but I really think we should start looking into daycare more seriously. Shay's getting bigger..." He said not sure where to stop.

"Yeah, I've been putting it off. I'll start looking properly" Erin admitted, she was fine with separation because she knew and trusted anyone she left Shay with. Leaving Shay with a stranger, no matter how qualified seemed almost irresponsible.

"We'll look together, we can make a short list and everything" He answered trying to be supportive, he wasn't exactly keen on the idea of trusting a stranger with the most valuable thing in his world.

"Assuming the good places have vacancies" She said.

"Oh, I didn't realise it worked like that" He replied after taking a moment to consider the potential of the good places being full.

"Yeah, we probably should have started looking a while back then we'd be on a waiting list" She explained.

"It'll turn out" He guaranteed trusting that things would again fall into place favourably.

"I'll clean up, you head up and give Shay her bath" Erin instructed stacking their bowls together. She moved to the kitchen and quickly tidied before heading up to find Shay throwing bubbles at Kelly. Taking her dripping wet baby in a towel Erin took Shay and got her ready for bed. Kelly joined her in the bedroom and together they read Shay a story and watched as she drifted off to sleep.

"I think you need a shower" Kelly whispered from behind as he followed Erin to their bedroom.

"Rude" She replied.

"I heard that sharing showers is good for the environment" He enthused using his hands on her waist to steer her towards the bathroom.

"Oh, well that's fine then" She nodded grabbing her towel on the way. "Wait, isn't showering together going to take longer?" She questioned.

"Since when have I cared about the environment? I just want you in the shower" He laughed shaking his head.

"Alright then" She laughed as he reached across and removed her shirt.

* * *

><p>"So these four all have vacancies and are located fairly close to work?" Kelly asked looking over the list carefully.<p>

"Yeah, so now I want to go look at them and see if they're as good as their websites and welcome packages suggest" Erin clarified having already picked her favourite.

"So we'll do it on the weekend, they're open Saturday's aren't they?" He questioned.

"Yeah, three are even 24/7. I was talking to a few of the mums at the district and they reckon that one is the best. They've all run background checks on the staff and the worst thing that turned up were traffic violations" She said pointing to the one second on the list.

"I'll keep that in mind when we drop by" He said watching as she smoothed Shay's soft wisps of hair.

"I'm going to be late if I don't go now. Have a great day and stay safe" She said planting a kiss on his cheek before turning and heading for the door.

"You too" He called after them. Erin made it up the stairs just as Voight emerged from his office to brief them on the day's case. He'd angled the white board carefully so that the photo's couldn't be seen from Erin's desk, shielding Shay from the gruesome murder scenes. Lindsay handed Shay to Halstead then proceeded to look at the images.

"I'll get onto the travel agency" She stated as she took Shay back and got settled behind her desk.

"Everyone else is working on witnesses" Voight instructed before grabbing his coat and leaving, Atwater following him obediently. Lindsay lost herself in the convoluted chain of call centers that eventually lead to the travel agency's head office and almost an hour listening to infuriatingly repetitive hold music. On the verge of a mental breakdown she passed the phone to Nadia and decided to walk to the corner store to buy lunch. The fresh air worked wonders and soon Lindsay was heading back into the district determined to get through to the travel agency even if it meant hours of hold music.

"Lindsay, I got something for you" Platt called as she reached the top of the stairs.

"Yeah?" She asked unsure what Platt wanted.

"I found, well, I made this for Shay" Platt said handing over a small but perfect uniform shirt, patches and all.

"Wow, you didn't have to do that, thanks" Lindsay said shocked by the normally gruff Desk Sergeant's attitude towards Shay.

"She's here every other day so she needs a uniform" Platt justified.

"We're looking at daycare centers" She admitted hesitantly.

"I'll miss seeing her around, but it'll be good to have you back properly" Platt said understandingly.

"Thanks though, Shay loves it" Lindsay said holding the shirt just out of Shay's reach.

"She'll make a good cop one day" Platt said reaching across to hold Shay's hand.

"I don't know about that" Lindsay answered not sure that she'd ever want her baby to face the sort of danger she did.

"Moo!" Shay said as Platt played with her fingers.

"We've been working on animal noises" Lindsay explained just as Antonio came down the stairs and requested her presence for an update on the case.

* * *

><p>"So what would a typical day here look like?" Kelly asked feeling like a professional interviewer now that they had inspected two other prospective daycare centers. They'd quickly established that his role was to keep the staff busy while she talked with other parents, they were the most reliable source of inside information.<p>

"We start the day with a some time playing on the floor, then morning tea and a sleep. After that they do an activity, sing a song, read a book or play a game. Then lunch, another sleep and more playtime, we don't have a structured curriculum until they're a little older" The woman answered condescendingly.

"What's the ratio of staff to babies?" He asked next.

"Five babies per staff member, they're all different ages so they require different levels of care" She informed.

"If Shay were to come here what ages would the other babies in her group be?" He questioned.

"She'd probably end up with Hannah, who has a few smaller babies at the moment. I think the oldest is four months" The woman said.

"Shay wouldn't be her top priority then" He stated.

"Our staff are trained to look after multiple babies, dividing their attention as equally as possible" She snapped.

"How are we going?" Erin asked as she finally joined Kelly, she had dug up plenty based on her conversations with other parents. There was no way that this would be the daycare center for them.

"I've run out of questions, but I have the booklet so we'll read over it and get back to you" Kelly said turning his attention from Erin back to the facilities administrator, his tour guide.

"Okay, we'd better get some lunch then. Thank you for your time" Erin said smiling at the woman before turning and leading the way back out of the maze like building. "Not that one" She announced as soon as they reached the car park.

"Good, that was terrible in comparison to the last one" He agreed sliding into the car. "Do we have to go to the next one, the second one is perfect and we're just wasting time"

"Nothing to do with the fact the game starts in twenty minutes?" Erin challenged knowing that he hadn't expected the process to take all day.

"Of course not, I just don't think a better place exists. I have never seen someone as good with kids as Nina at the last place, I'd trust her to look after Shay" He answered though it would be a blatant lie if he said the time wasn't a factor in his considerations.

"She was pretty great. The last place had a few really bad reviews so we can skip it and head home" She agreed.

"Only if you're certain about Nina" He said trying to keep his priorities in focus, Shay, then Erin and in last place the hockey game starting in seventeen minutes time.

"I'm certain, I trust her" Erin said sounding firmly convinced. Nina seemed particularly competent and had been more than willing to assure Erin that she wouldn't hesitate to call if anything happened with Shay. Erin didn't want her baby being handed off to some stranger but from the moment they met Nina hadn't felt like a stranger, just a long lost relative interested in Shay.

"We'll fill in the paperwork after the game" He agreed.

"I'll fill it in while you watch the game" She corrected before starting the car. They arrived home and Kelly headed straight for the couch while Erin thanked Gabby for watching Shay. Gabby was pleased to hear their search had been successful and was appropriately supportive when Erin confessed how terrifying the idea of relinquishing care of Shay was, even to someone as trustworthy as Nina.

"Shay will be fine and Nina sounds great. It's a big deal and just like any big change it'll take time to adjust" Gabby said wisely before rushing off to Molly's so she could help out with the game crowd. Erin pulled out the paperwork and filled it out thoroughly double checking her responses before setting the papers next to her keys. She headed upstairs to check on Shay and found her laying awake in her crib. They played quietly on the floor in the dim afternoon light, Erin enjoying every facial expression Shay came up with. Daycare three days a week could be a good thing if she approached it with a positive attitude, something she was more than willing to attempt.

**I'm not a parent, it's probably stupid to compare but I have a dog and leaving him at the kennels when I went away on holidays earlier in the year was heartbreaking. I just have to add that I have raised him since he was a tiny puppy, including four hourly bottle feeding for the first few weeks and therefore he's the closest thing I have to a child. I'm trying to channel that emotion into Erin... Anyway... Hope you liked the update :D**


	14. Chapter 14

Erin looked at the bag then selected another outfit and stuffed it in the front pocket. She had been sure to label everything carefully with Shay's initials. Four spare outfits was excessive but Erin had always preferred being over prepared. Shay had started to favour her stuffed lion, as soon as it had gotten to the point that Shay wouldn't sleep without it Erin had returned to the toy store and bought two more. One for at daycare and a spare just in case the others went missing. The bag was so stuffed with the clothes, lion toy and a box of Shay's favourite bread sticks, it barely zipped shut. Erin put the bag beside the front door, ready for the morning, then joined Kelly and Shay in the bathroom. Kelly hadn't noticed the lid on the soap bottle was unscrewed so when he upended it the bath had quickly become a bubble bath. Erin joined in the game of collecting and blowing bubbles across the room making Shay splash and giggle. Both adults knew they were making a job for themselves when it came to cleaning but loved the squeals and laughter too much to stop.

"Bubbles Shay, bubbles" Kelly said slowly in an attempt to teach her the word.

"Babababa" Shay chanted in response delighted by the way the foam squished between her fingers.

"Bubbles" Erin repeated.

"Bubbas" Shay responded grabbing at the bubbles Kelly held out for her. Erin piled bubbles on Shay's head then ran to get her phone for a photo, by the time she got back Kelly had a matching bubble hat.

"Very nice" Erin laughed snapping a few photos from different angles.

"I think you need one too" He insisted trapping her arms at her sides so she couldn't resist the attack. All three had bubbles piled on their heads and laughed every time they caught a glimpse of their reflections in the mirror. Slowly the bubbles started to pop and dissolve and the bathwater cooled to the point where Shay didn't like it anymore. Just as she started to get upset Erin lifted her out of the bath and into a warm fluffy towel. She dressed Shay in her while Kelly made the lion toy dance to distract her. The lion continued to dance around the room until Shay could barely keep her eyes open. "Sleep well" they whispered once she was tucked in holding the lion possessively to her chest. They left the room and closed the door before heading to their own bedroom for an early night. There was a brief argument over how much earlier they needed to set the alarm to get Shay to daycare and still make it to work on time but once that was settled they headed to sleep.

* * *

><p>"I'll have my phone on me all day, you can call to check in at anytime" Nina said watching as Erin gave Shay yet another goodbye kiss.<p>

"I'll see you tonight baby" Erin whispered before giving in and handing Shay to Nina, if she took any longer she would be late for work.

"Bye-bye mama" Nina said helping Shay wave her hand.

"Be good" Erin added as she turned away from the pair. She stopped and took a deep breath before continuing out of the daycare center and into the car park. They had already dropped Kelly off at the firehouse so now she just had to get to the district and get stuck into work. Voight could read Lindsay with ease and quickly sent her out to interview the staff at the nightclub their murder victim owned. Lindsay and Halstead were quick to eliminate most of the staff but one barman had been in conflict with the owner for months.

"Everyone knows you and Ian didn't get on, can you tell us what that was about?" Lindsay asked.

"He didn't like that I didn't force more drinks on people, only topped up when they asked. He just wanted the money but filling the place with drunks ruined the atmosphere and people stopped coming back" Dave the barman replied replacing bottle caps with pouring nozzles as he spoke. Ian's death didn't seem to have deterred his eagerness to work.

"That doesn't seem like the sort of thing two grown men would argue about for months"

"He wouldn't let me deviate from the menu either. I've been a barman for more than a decade, I know how it's done and I know what it takes to make a successful nightclub. Ian never liked to listen to me and I didn't listen to him. He threatened to stop paying me if I didn't listen but it was an empty threat, this place would sink without me. I didn't kill Ian but if I was you I'd look into the financial side of things, he's annoyed plenty of people with overdue loan payments" Dave informed, Lindsay knew he was telling the truth and thanked him for his time. They headed back to the district and started looking through the financial records Ruzek had acquired.

"He was terrible with money, the nightclub hasn't even covered the start up costs and it's been open for three years" Antonio announced slightly outraged to think someone could throw that much money away.

"So how was it still open?" Lindsay questioned.

"Ian never got money from banks, the nightclub doesn't even have the right licenses to be serving alcohol, he must have known someone, a lawyer or senior cop who's been protecting the club. Towards the end he was paying loans by loaning money from other people. That's not a great way to make friends" Olinsky weighed in.

"So we pay a visit to the people he was borrowing from" Halstead said standing up and grabbing his jacket.

"We've got an address for the guy who gave him the initial payment on the club, we'll start there and you can text us the information on the others when you find it" Lindsay instructed before following Halstead out to the car park. While the people Ian had loaned money from all had a shared hatred for the charming and charismatic nightclub runner they all also had alibis for the time of the murder. Having exhausted that idea they moved on to working out who benefited most from Ian's death. With him dead the loan money could never be recovered and his beneficiaries wouldn't receive a cent. His ex-girlfriend would get her car back but that was hardly motive for murder. Lunch came and went as they struggled on slowly but surely running out of leads. "It wasn't murder, it was an accident, someone went to get the money he owed them. Someone who wasn't experienced with guns and they accidentally shot him" Lindsay put forward knowing it was a weak explanation but better than anything they had.

"Accidentally shot him in the head? Twice?" Antonio countered.

"Someone really inexperienced could do it by accident, once they realise they've fired the first time the could panic and squeeze the trigger again?" She defended.

"Okay, so who's alibi was a lie?" Atwater asked.

"That Russian chick, I'd bet on it" Halstead announced.

"She was Ukrainian but I think you're right, we'll talk to the friend she was supposedly with at the time" Lindsay agreed stopping to fill in Voight before driving to the friends workplace. Seeing a mother and baby in the clothes store momentarily put Lindsay off but Halstead was quick to step up and take the lead in questioning the friend.

"Alina wasn't at your house on Saturday night was she?" Halstead demanded wondering how they had even met.

"She was, we watched the celebrity dancing show" Alina's friend answered folding and neatening a pile of shirts.

"That's on at six thirty" Lindsay stated, at first Halstead was put off but then realised where she was going.

"What time did Alina leave?" Halstead asked.

"I don't know exactly" She answered as she continued to move around the shop straightening the displays.

"Well then approximately?" He pressed.

"It was before eight" She answered.

"Thank you" Halstead announced before leaving the store.

"So she lied, do we really think she would get a gun and threaten Ian?" Lindsay asked getting in the car. Halstead was about to answer when his phone rang, he chatted briefly then hung up.

"They got onto Alina's husband, now ex-husband, since the divorce she hasn't had much money. He thinks she would have been pretty desperate to get the loan money back" Halstead explained

"Alright, lets bring her it" Lindsay answered merging neatly so she could take the next right. Moments later they were leading Alina to their car before driving her to the district. Voight asked Lindsay to take the lead in the interrogation and it didn't take long for Alina to confess. As soon as she had Lindsay rushed through the paperwork and was off to get Shay from daycare. The traffic was ridiculously dense and Erin would probably have been better off spending the time fixing her report. Her fingers tapped away on the steering wheel and eventually she made it through the lights. The car park was busy as well so she parked on the street and walked.

"We thought you'd be here soon" Nina said handing Shay over immediately.

"Traffic was slow or I'd have been here half an hour ago" Erin answered after kissing Shay on the head.

"She's only just woken up so your timing is perfect. She was really great, a little quiet but I'm sure that's just because it's an unfamiliar environment" Nina said as she unhooked Shay's bag and handed it over.

"Okay, thank you, we'll see you on Wednesday" Erin replied eager to get home.

"Have a nice night" Nina replied as Erin and Shay left.

"Did you have a nice day?" Erin asked Shay as they walked to the car. Shay babbled in response and Erin took it as a yes. While Erin wanted a quiet night at home with Shay she decided to drop by the firehouse on the way home.

"How'd it go?" Kelly asked.

"My day was good, Nina says Shay had a good day too. We just wanted to stop by and see how your day was" Erin answered handing Shay over.

"It's been good so far, quiet is always good" He replied. "You should stay for dinner, Brett and Mills are cooking" He added. Erin stopped to think for a moment, she had planned to reheat leftover risotto then lay in bed with Shay and read. Mills and Brett were both great cooks though and she was excited to see what they came up with.

"Yeah alright" She agreed.

"Should I be hurt that you're staying for the food?" He questioned feigning hurt feelings.

"No, I love you and I love spending time with you, the food is an added bonus" She replied giving him a quick kiss before following the amazing scent trail to the kitchen.

"Hmph" He sighed knowing her actions made his point. "Shay, you won't leave me for food will you?" He questioned.

"Mama" Shay replied with a cheeky smile, Kelly tried to ignore her response but couldn't stop himself smiling. Once he'd put away the tools he'd been working with he joined Erin and almost everyone else in the kitchen. Their patience was rewarded and soon dinner was on the table. After one mouthful Erin was certain she'd made the right decision, Shay chewed on a piece of carrot while observing everyone else eating. Erin had never been in the firehouse when it was so quiet before, she was just about to comment on how good the food was when the alarm sounded.

"See you in the morning" Kelly said before stuffing as much food in his mouth and running off to get ready. Erin sat stunned for a moment, she pondered for a moment about whether she had enough self control to turn away from food the way everyone else is. Of course she wouldn't hesitate if lives were at stake. At the same time she was very pleased she didn't have to and instead finished eating and cleaned up as much as she could before making the journey home. Taking her time she read to Shay then put her to bed before snuggling up in bed to read her own book. She'd just opened to the last page she'd read when her phone vibrated. Instead of reading she exchanged text messages with Kelly until she could barely keep her eyes open.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello, this chapter is a bit longer than usual so it took me more time to write. I hope you like it :D**

"Erin, I'm sick" Kelly grumbled as he rolled over to face her. She sat up moving away from him at a rapid pace, the looked dreadful, pale and sweaty with puffy eyes and the beginning of a red nose.

"What happened?" She asked getting out of the bed and moving further away from him.

"Newhouse's kid got sick, then he did and I must have caught it" He groaned.

"I'll get you some ibuprofen, stay there" She ordered backing out of the bedroom. Normally she would have at least made an attempt to be there for him, work was so busy and with Shay to look after as well she couldn't afford to get sick. Isolation was their best bet. Erin handed him the tablets and a glass of water then placed the cup of tea on the bedside table and left. She returned with a box of tissues a few minutes later and informed him Shay would be going to daycare, all he needed to do was stay home and get better. After a quick shower she roused Shay and got her ready for the day. While Shay had only been attending daycare for two weeks she noticed the change in routine and decided to be grumpy.

"Mama" Shay complained as she was strapped into her car seat.

"I'm sorry baby, daddy's sick so Nina's going to look after you" Erin explained wondering just how much Shay understood, she certainly seemed soothed by her mothers voice if nothing else. Despite Erin's best efforts to make up for lost time she was still late to arrive at work. Even with a case to work on she still took time to text Kelly regularly and let him know that even if she wasn't there to look after him she was thinking of him. At lunchtime she found a place that delivered soup and organised some chicken soup for Kelly. Thankfully with her mind drifting between work and home the rest of the team reverted to their previous dynamic and got the case solved more or less without her help. After shift she took the time to explain to Voight the reason she had been so distracted.

"You have sick days, you could have used one to take care of him" Voight replied.

"He's not that sick, and I don't want to catch it" She admitted, he shrugged.

"I need your head here when you work, if he's going to distract you you'd be better off staying home" Voight reminded before turning his attention back to his computer, essentially dismissing her.

"Night" She called over her shoulder. Grabbing her jacket on the way past she said goodbye to those who had stayed behind to finish paperwork and made her way out to the car. At the daycare center Nina commented on Shay's persistent bad mood and suggested Erin keep a close eye on her for a temperature, she might have already been exposed Kelly's illness. Erin remembered to stop by a pharmacy on the way home and stocked up on painkillers, tissues and hand sanitizer. Once home she made Kelly dinner and gave him more medication before eating her own dinner. She checked to find him asleep then got on with getting Shay to bed. The house was strangely quiet considering how early it was and she didn't want to disturb his sleep so she headed downstairs to see if there was anything worth watching. Feeling conflicted she decided to sleep on the couch, she reasoned that Kelly would never know and she couldn't risk getting sick. She'd already have to work twice as hard to make it up to Voight the next day. It wasn't the best night's sleep she'd had but it was better than sleeping next to Kelly as he alternated between snoring and wheezing.

* * *

><p>It took three days for Kelly to get well during which Erin only stepped foot in their bedroom to deliver food and medication or for clean clothes. He didn't see Shay the whole time, Erin didn't want to risk her health. Work was hectic with a new gang trying to establish itself right where three other gangs were already in conflict. Unfortunately the new gang had a 'by any means' mentality which had already claimed the lives of two innocent bystanders. If Shay got sick Erin would have to take time off essentially letting the rest of the intelligence unit down.<p>

"Erin please, I'm better I promise, sit with me" Kelly said when he noticed that even after he'd done a shift back at work she was still avoiding him.

"I have stuff to do, maybe later" She replied.

"Stuff can wait" He answered.

"No it can't. You won't have any clean socks tomorrow unless I do some washing" She reasoned.

"Please, we haven't spent any time together all week" He complained in response.

"We'll do something on Saturday" She answered before leaving the room to get on with the washing. He wasn't sure how to tell her that he'd already agreed to go to a hockey game with Clarke and a few of the squad guys on Saturday, he had a feeling that now wasn't the right time to bring it up. Erin put the washing on, folded and put away the rest, it had given her time to realise Kelly was right. It couldn't hurt to snuggle on the couch with him for a few minutes. Just as she started making her way to the lounge Shay started crying. Taking it as a sign that she wasn't meant to spend time with Kelly she made her way into Shay's room and tried to see what was wrong. Shay usually slept soundly so Erin was concerned this could be the first symptom. It turned out that Shay had simply thrown her lion toy out of the crib and wanted it back, as soon as it was in her hand again she settled back to sleep. Erin realised she was being ridiculously paranoid and headed down to snuggle with Kelly on the couch. She had missed the way his chest made the perfect pillow, how his arms reached all the way around keeping her close. The television program was a ridiculous and after two advert breaks Erin wrestled the remote from Kelly's hand and turned it off. Now the steady thudding of his heart was the only sound she could hear. "I'm really sorry" She whispered feeling as if speaking would ruin the moment. He didn't bother to respond at first content with just placing a kiss on her head.

"I'm sorry for getting sick and making so much more work for you" Kelly said eventually.

"Don't be silly" She replied with a shrug.

"I'm serious, you looked after me really well. I had lunch, medicine and tissues delivered everyday" He said.

"But I didn't stay with you and keep you company. I wouldn't even let you see Shay until you stopped sneezing, she missed you" Erin responded.

"You did the right thing" He assured.

"Thank you" She sighed before pressing her lips to his softly. He kissed her back pulling her onto his lap.

"I missed this" He said with a grin pulling the hair tie from her hair so that he could run his fingers through the silky locks. The hand on the back of her head made it easy for him to take charge of the kissing.

"What are we doing Saturday?" She asked when they finally took a moment to catch their breath.

"What do you mean?" He queried more focused on trailing kisses down her neck.

"You and me this Saturday, to make up for the lack of date night. I'm just wondering if I need to organise a babysitter for Shay or if we're going to make the most of her afternoon nap" Erin explained using her hands on his shoulders to push him back momentarily. She sensed the hesitation and his eyes refused to make contact with hers. "What?" She demanded. He replied with a groan knowing that he couldn't lie about his plans to attend the hockey game, he feared her reaction.

"Clarke got some tickets to the Blackhawks game, I agreed to go. I didn't know you'd want to do something on Saturday" He explained cringing as her forehead creased in a frown.

"We'll figure out some other time then" She said trying to sound as if it didn't bother her, he could tell that it did and it made him feel awful.

"Why don't you come to the game as well, Shay's big enough for her first hockey game and the guys won't mind you coming" He proposed suddenly keen on taking his lovely ladies to the hockey.

"I don't want to mess up time with your friends" She answered, while time together was important she also knew it wouldn't be half as good if they didn't have time apart as well.

"They see you as one of the guys anyway" He said trying to persuade her.

"I don't know if I should be offended by that..." Erin laughed.

"They love you, I love you and Shay and hockey. It'll be fun to do something different, Shay can wear her tiny jersey. It'll be perfect, please?" Kelly asked hopeful she wouldn't be able to resist.

"Alright then" She agreed shaking her head, it wasn't at all what she had planned for Saturday but at the same time it did have the potential to be fun. Erin had attended her fair share of live sporting matches and had learned early on that the quality of the company was the most important factor, Clarke and Kelly's squad team were family so a laugh was guaranteed.

"Happy?" He questioned.

"Very" She replied giving him a quick kiss before getting up. "We've both got work in the morning" She explained as he gave her a sideways glance.

"Okay, but at least come to bed with me" He said pushing himself up from the couch as well.

"Only if you don't snore" She teased though she had no intentions of sleeping on the couch ever again.

"I'll do my best" He replied following her up the stairs, they checked on Shay then headed to sleep.

* * *

><p>"Okay, you guys ready yet?" Erin called wondering what was taking Kelly so long. She entered Shay's bedroom to find Kelly struggling to get the headband to sit straight on her head.<p>

"Almost" He replied poking out his tongue in concentration. Once he was satisfied the headband was on properly he held up Shay to show Erin his efforts. Shay wore red, black and white stretchy pants with her red Blackhawks jersey and a matching headband.

"Very nice" She commented wondering when he had purchased the pants.

"We need a photo" He said handing Erin his phone, she took the picture and handed it back.

"We're going to be late" She said, it had been a long time since she had seen him move so quickly. He packed Shay's bag then made his way to the car leaving Erin to turn off the lights and lock the door.

"You driving?" He asked strapping Shay into her car seat and taking the headband from her, he would put it back on when they arrived.

"I always drive" She answered as he slid into the passenger seat. They found a car space with relative ease and set about finding the rest of their group. One phone call and several text messages later the group was finally together and made their way to their seats. Erin sat on the end with Shay on her lap just in case she needed to make a quick exit. Everyone was surprised by how transfixed Shay was on the game, she watched the puck fly across the ice with a concentrated frown. She clapped her hands and babbled along with the crowd when a goal was scored, by either team. Erin enjoyed every moment of the game, though she spent more time watching Shay than the ice.

"Is this her first game? She's beautiful" A stranger commented looking at Shay who was clapping her chubby hands together.

"Thanks, it is. I had no idea she'd like it so much" Erin replied as the older woman moved back into her seat across the aisle.

"I started bringing my boys to games when they were that small" The woman added before gesturing to the two burly men who sat beside her, her sons had definitely grown. The women continued to chat through the intermission then turned their attention back to the game. By the time the game ended and celebrations died down Shay was sleeping with her head on Kelly's shoulder. They stayed around to discuss the game for a while then used putting Shay to bed as an excuse to skip out on drinks at Molly's. Shay was so exhausted she slept through her usual bedtime feed. Erin and Kelly didn't mind, they were more than happy to have some alone time.

* * *

><p>"Kelly, I didn't know if I should call you. It's Nina, Shay's sick" Nina explained as soon as he answered the phone.<p>

"What sort of sick?" He questioned as his heart started to race.

"She's got a temperature, and she's coughing too" Nina replied. "I didn't want Erin to freak out, I know she's busy today."

"That's fine, I can come get her. I'll be there in twenty minutes" He said already making his way to his locker for his keys. He knew his first response should be to call Erin, to let her know what was going on, but at the same time he didn't want to distract her in the middle of the biggest bust the intelligence unit had planned in years. They were hoping to settle the gang drama once and for all by cutting their supply of drugs, weapons and underage girls. It was a massive operation with two dozen uniforms called in to assist, it was also going to be dangerous. He couldn't bear the thought of putting her off, thinking of the possible consequences convinced him that figuring out things with Shay himself was the best course of action. Kelly told Matt where he was going then headed for his car.

"I'm not allowed to give her children's paracetamol without your permission" Nina explained as Kelly entered the room and lay eyes on his clearly unwell daughter.

"That's fine, I'll figure it out" Kelly said scooping her up, shocked by how hot she was he instantly peeled off her pants leaving her in her diaper and shirt. "Can you hand me her bag?" He asked already struggling to juggle the removed clothes and squirming baby.

"Of course, are you sure you don't want me to call Erin?" Nina asked unsure that calling Kelly first had been a good idea.

"I'll call her when we get home" He lied taking the bag and adding a rough signature to the early departure log.

"Okay, I hope she gets better soon" Nina said as the pair walked out the door. Kelly was waiting at the exit of the daycare center car park when he realised he could take Shay via the firehouse and get Brett, Mills or Dawson to look at her. He had a feeling Shay's illness was more than just a cold, her temperature was high and she was coughing terribly, the sudden onset had him worried as well. The sooner a paramedic was able to reassure him the better.

"Sorry" Kelly apologised to Matt as he walked back in, Shay screaming in his arms.

"Is she okay?" Matt questioned not having known Shay to be capable of such awful noises.

"She's sick, where are Brett and Mills?" He questioned looking around to see Ambulance 61 missing.

"Out on a call, I'll get Gabby" Matt answered before rushing off. Kelly took Shay through to the kitchen and placed her stuff on the table. He felt stupid for not stopping at a pharmacy, the firehouse didn't have any children's paracetamol and from the sounds Shay was making she was clearly in pain. Feeling more than useless he tried to soothe her, all while wondering what was taking Matt and Gabby so long.

"That does not sound good" Herrmann said walking over and placing a hand on Shay's forehead.

"I don't know what to do" Kelly responded, the fear evident in his tone and eyes.

"I'll get a cool cloth" Herrmann answered. He returned less than a minute later and placed the cloth on her head, it looked stupid but the lack of screaming indicated it was working.

"What's up?" Gabby asked rushing into the room.

"She's sick" Kelly said, rocking Shay gently. The movement was calming for both father and daughter.

"Yeah, Matt go buy some children's paracetamol, the orange box for four months to one year" Gabby instructed, it wasn't much to go on but it was all she could remember of the packaging.

"Got it" Matt said moving at top speed out of the room.

"Take this off" Gabby said pulling the shirt up and over Shay's head. There wasn't much they could do until Matt returned so they simply kept a close eye on her. Every now and then they would wet the cloth and move it, from her head to her back or belly. Once Mills and Brett returned Gabby was able to use their thermometer to keep track of her temperature.

"Here you go" Matt announced handing the box to Gabby, she read the instructions then measured out the correct dosage. Shay didn't appreciate having the medicine squirted into her mouth but swallowed it anyway. Within minutes of the medicine being administered she was fast asleep. With a massive sigh of relief Kelly settled on the couch with Shay sleeping in his arms.

"Thanks guys" He said after a few moments watching Shay sleep. It took a while but eventually everyone returned to what they had been doing before the crisis. Kelly had started to drift to sleep himself, the adrenaline surge wearing off, when Shay started coughing. At first it was a small cough here or there but it soon woke her and quickly got to the point that he feared she couldn't breathe. He called for Gabby and she was there in an instant sitting Shay up and listening to her chest. The both noticed the blood in her dribble at the same time, a quick look at each other confirmed that something was definitely not right.

"We need to get her to the hospital" Gabby said taking Shay from Kelly and moving swiftly to the ambulance, Mills and Brett were in the back restocking and snapped into action immediately. Kelly trailed behind wondering what on earth he could do to help. Brett and Dawson attached the heart rate monitor, not that it gave them much useful information. With lights and sirens on the ambulance pulled out of the firehouse quickly reaching top speed, the journey to the hospital more crucial than any Kelly had made before.

**To Be Continued...**

**I love throwing in a good cliffhanger here and there...please forgive me :D **

** sandygirl - I tried to get some Erin/Kelly alone time in there the way you asked. I really struggle to write that sort of thing... I do however have big plans for future chapters, you'll just have to be patient with me! Also thank you so much for your continued support. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello, didn't want to make you wait forever for the next installment. Just a reminder that I'm not a doctor and any medical stuff is completely made up (though I try to keep it realistic). Enjoy :D**

They arrived at the hospital and were immediately seen by a doctor. With a single injection the doctor was able to stop Shay's coughing, allowing her to breathe properly while giving him enough time to conduct a proper assessment. Rather than coming to a conclusion he ordered a series of tests then left them with a nurse. Kelly held Shay and relayed information to Gabby who was attempting to fill in the paperwork the nurse had delivered. It wasn't until the first lot of blood samples had been taken and they were moved to a room that Kelly thought to contact Erin. She didn't answer her phone so he left a message then tried Halstead and Voight. Voight answered on what Kelly was certain was the final ring, it was a tense conversation but Voight assured Kelly that Erin would be there soon. Mills and Brett had to get back to work but Gabby decided to stay until Erin arrived. They took turns holding Shay, rocking her at just the right speed and whispering to her reassuringly. Gabby volunteered to wait for Erin in the room while Kelly and Shay were escorted to the radiology department for x-rays.

"We're just going to need her to lay still for a few seconds" The radiologist explained gently, she was clearly experienced with frazzled parents.

"Just here?" Kelly asked placing Shay on the bench.

"Yep, if you can just hold her still" She instructed before securing Shay to the surface of the bench with Velcro. "Now we have to go wait in there, she'll be fine" the radiologist assured patting Kelly gently on the arm. He bent and kissed Shay's head before moving out of the room. It didn't take Shay long to realised she was alone and start screaming again. All Kelly was able to do was to talk to her soothingly over the intercom, it didn't achieve much but the radiologist seemed satisfied she had enough to go on.

"I'm sorry baby" Kelly apologised picking Shay up and cuddling her to his chest.

"I hope everything turns out alright" The radiologist said kindly before ushering over the nurse to take them back to the room.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile on the other side of the city Lindsay, Halstead and two uniforms were about to breach the main living area of a gang hideout."What?" Erin demanded when Voight ordered her retreat.<p>

"Erin, get out of there now" He repeated, this time using her first name. She felt like arguing the point then realised how dangerously serious he sounded. Tapping Halstead on the shoulder they made their way back out of the house and headed straight for the mobile command center where Voight was waiting.

"What's going on?" She asked, slightly more subdued now she'd had time to consider the possibilities, Voight wouldn't have said anything if it wasn't important.

"Kelly just called. Shay's in hospital. Halstead is going to drive you" Voight said slowly and calmly, at least he hoped it came across as calm, he couldn't help but worry for his granddaughter.

"Okay" Erin managed weakly before turning and marching to the car. Halstead didn't have a chance to relish in the fact that he was allowed to drive, instead he was trying to maintain composure. The effect Voight's statement had had on his partner was quite shocking, he's never seen Erin loose colour faster. Even when Kelly had been hurt she hadn't been so panicked. When stopped at a red light he looked over and noticed that her hands were shaking, he reached across and squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"She'll be alright" Halstead assured hoping he was right.

"Just get me to the hospital" She replied trying not to get angry with him, he was doing everything he could to get them there as quickly as possible. The journey across the city took half the time it usually would have but it still wasn't fast enough for Erin.

"Go" Halstead instructed pulling up near the main entrance, she had started moving before he had even spoken. It took her a few minutes and all the patience she could muster to ascertain the general direction to Shay's room. The nurses were more than useless and in the end she found her own way. Erin would never be able to explain just how she had located the room in the maze-like hospital. At first she supposed it was something about being able to distinguish Shay's cry but that didn't make sense seeing as Shay was off having x-rays when she arrived.

"Erin" Gabby said as soon as the detective rounded the corner.

"Where is she?" Erin asked looking from the empty bed to Gabby with fear in her eyes.

"Having chest x-rays, she just has a temperature and a cough" Gabby explained quickly.

"Why is she in hospital then?" Erin questioned knowing Kelly wasn't the type to overreact and go to hospital for anything less then an emergency.

"She started coughing up blood, I know it sounds bad. Don't worry the doctors are running lots of tests" Gabby said trying to be supportive, Erin looked like she was either going to cry or punch something.

"How long until they'll be back" Erin asked, she knew Gabby had no way of knowing and dismissed the answer before it even came. She took to pacing to the door and back. Eventually Kelly and Shay returned, Erin had Shay in her arms before Kelly had even registered her presence. He gave her a moment to see for herself that Shay was alright before speaking.

"I'm sorry" He said simply. Erin completely ignored him focusing all her attention on Shay. Gabby decided it was time to leave though she requested Kelly keep her up to date on any new information. The last thing she wanted was to become the negotiator in the imminent conflict.

"Are you her mum?" The doctor asked looking straight to Erin as he walked in.

"Yes" Erin confirmed.

"We've been running some tests to rule out pneumonia and whooping cough, Shay doesn't have either. I'd like to run another lot of blood tests and get some IV fluids into her just to be safe" He explained.

"More blood tests?" She asked not wanting Shay to experience any unnecessary pain.

"Yes, I'd like to narrow down the possibilities even further. It'll give us a better chance of treating what ever this is properly" He reassured.

"Alright" She agreed feeling as if denying the tests would be more harmful to Shay than another needle.

"The nurse will come be in to do that in a minute" The doctor confirmed before leaving them for his next patient.

"The nurse was really good last time, calm and gentle" Kelly said watching from a distance as Erin fussed over Shay.

"Okay" Erin acknowledged though she didn't bother to look up.

"Hello, is this your wife?" The nurse enquired looking from Erin to Kelly when she entered the room a few minutes later.

"No" Erin replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh, sorry" The nurse said quickly before checking Shay's chart. "Can you hold her again?"

"Sure" Kelly replied brushing past Erin as he moved to hold Shay the way he had been shown before the last blood test. Erin watched Kelly closely sensing her response to the nurses question had hurt him in some way. It was the truth though, they weren't married, she didn't feel their relationship needed a title but she had never really considered his opinion on the topic. Now was not the time to worry about it.

"All done" The nurse said as she left them alone again. Kelly held Shay as she fell asleep while Erin pulled out her phone and sent a quick message to Voight.

"I'm sorry" Erin said when she looked up to find Kelly staring at her.

"What for?" He asked.

"Everything" She sighed getting up and closing the distance between them, she smoothed Shay's hair and kissed her forehead before looking up into his eyes.

"This is all my fault, I probably gave her what I had" He replied.

"It's my fault too, if I wasn't so busy thinking about work I would have noticed something was wrong this morning" Erin countered.

"I should have taken her straight to the doctor instead of to the firehouse" He argued, struggling to keep his voice down.

"And you should have called me the minute you found out she was sick" She added. "If you want to take responsibility for this I'm not going to stop you!"

"Erin, that's not what I meant" He said.

"No, it's all your fault. Happy? Because nothing you say or do is going to make Shay better" Erin finished. She wanted nothing more than to storm out of the room in frustration but she couldn't bear to leave Shay. The feeling of uselessness she was experiencing was unfamiliar, she was too preoccupied worrying about Shay to consider that Kelly would be feeling the same way. Shay was her priority, once they knew she would be alright they could figure out everything else. Kelly didn't bother responding and the room returned to silence. They moved about uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact at all costs. After what felt like years of waiting the doctor returned.

"We've got all the results back, Shay has a chest infection. It's easily treated with antibiotics which we'll start right away. I'd still like to keep her in overnight, just to be safe" The doctor explained, both Erin and Kelly felt relief wash over them. Shay was still quite ill but now at least they knew she would get better.

"Thank you" Kelly said placing Shay on the bed so that the nurse could give her the antibiotics easily.

"I'll go home and get some clothes for her, is there anything you want?" Erin asked, now that she knew Shay would be alright she desperately needed fresh air. The trip home would give her time to process the days events and calm herself. She didn't even want to think about the conflict with Kelly, she just wanted to get out of the hospital.

"I don't think so" He replied looking shocked when Erin left without so much as a goodbye to Shay. Of course now that it wasn't urgent Erin got completely lost trying to find her way out. Getting more and more agitated each time she turned down a corridor that didn't end in an exit she found herself jogging from hall to hall.

"Erin?" Dr Willhite asked confused to see the detective in the renal ward.

"I don't know how to get out" She said as tears started streaming down her face. Erin hadn't felt so out of control in years, she felt stupid for crying but couldn't make herself stop.

"I'll take you, what's going on?" He asked placing his clipboard on a desk before putting an arm around her shoulders and leading her back the way she had come.

"Shay's sick" Erin said, they hadn't seen much of each other recently but Erin had been a regular babysitter in the first few months after his wife's death. At times when Erin felt like being a mother and a detective was impossible she thought back to how well Jules had managed it, proving it was possible.

"Okay" He nodded as they made their way through the glass doors and out into the open.

"I'm being stupid, I don't even know why I'm crying" Erin said weakly reaching up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"You aren't being stupid, you're being a good mum. What's wrong with Shay?" Dr Willhite asked finally releasing her.

"She has a chest infection" She answered, saying it out loud made it real but also helped her realise that it wasn't anywhere near a worst case scenario.

"She's in the right place then. Where are you going?" He questioned.

"I need to go home and get her some clothes" Erin said already starting to feel more in control.

"Alright, take a deep breath" He instructed, she obeyed. "Now, go home get the clothes and come back. Shay will be alright, I'll head up and talk to her doctor. I'll keep an eye on her until you get back."

"Thank you" Erin said with a nod. They stood together for another moment then headed their separate ways. Erin felt strangely calm as she drove home, parked then went inside to pack a bag for Shay. She changed out of her work clothes, leaving her side arm and badge in the bedroom. In the kitchen she shoved some snacks into the bag then paused to think of anything else they might need. Convinced she had everything they could want she made her way back to the hospital. Kelly and Dr Willhite were talking quietly when she entered the room, Shay was still sleeping on the bed.

"How'd you go?" Dr Willhite asked stepping aside so she could put the bag on the table.

"Got everything" She answered moving to the bed to check on Shay.

"Her doctor thinks she'll sleep through, he wants to know if she wakes up and eats" He added.

"Thanks" Erin said taking a moment to ensure he knew that she was grateful for his help.

"I have to get back to work, you know how to find me if you need anything" Dr Willhite said before leaving them alone. Erin couldn't help but wonder what he had meant, she had no idea how to find him and rushing around the hospital in a panic didn't seem like it would work a second time.

"There's some food in there" Erin said pointing to the bag next to Kelly.

"Okay" He replied.

"Look, I'm really sorry" She whispered. Moving from the bedside she took a seat next to him then lent over and hugged him, as best she could with them both sitting. At first he resisted the hug but when he realised she was going to persist until he gave in he knew he was delaying the inevitable. He sighed and hugged her back feeling instantly better. They stayed in each others arms until Voight stomped into the room, waking Shay. Kelly took care of Shay while Erin filled Hank in on all the details. After a quick hug with his granddaughter he left, reassured he could go home and sleep soundly. Any remaining doubt left Erin's mind when Shay decided she was hungry and settled in Erin's arms feeding contentedly. Kelly couldn't help but smile as Shay dribbled milk everywhere in her urgency.

"Great" The doctor announced when he stopped in to see Shay feeding.

"So she'll be alright now?" Kelly asked.

"I'd say so. She'll be on antibiotics for a while but she'll make a full recovery" The doctor answered, noting something on the chart while he spoke.

"I never want to see her like that again" Kelly said softly, unable to stop the image of his tiny baby fighting to breathe from resurfacing in his mind. Shortly after the doctor left Shay fell asleep. Erin didn't want to let go of her so together they sat on Kelly's lap. He held them securely in his arms and allowed himself to doze with them. It was a long and uncomfortable night but they didn't even consider the possibility of going home to sleep. They were thankful that they didn't have to call their workplaces, everyone knew they would be taking the day off. Shay was discharged at ten and they made their way home via a pharmacy and a fast food restaurant. Having just missed the breakfast menu they ended up with burgers and chips, neither complained. At home they curled up on the couch with Shay between them and fell asleep. Erin had set an alarm on her phone so she couldn't possibly forget to give Shay her medicine. A steady stream of visitors in the late afternoon kept them occupied, Gabby and Matt followed by Cindy, then Hank and lastly Jay. Cindy brought dinner which they were particularly grateful for, their fast food breakfast and non-existent lunch left them hungry for real food. Erin couldn't have cared less about the articles she had read on the dangers of co-sleeping, there was no way she was letting Shay go. Shay coughed and wriggled a little in the night but otherwise they all slept peacefully, comforted by each others presence.

**I know this chapter is kind of all over the place but I actually really love it, I think because that's what it's like in real life. I probably won't get much of a chance to write between now and tomorrow night, so tomorrows update won't be as long, just a warning because I like to keep you well informed. Thanks for taking the time to read, love you all :D **


	17. Chapter 17

**Told you I wouldn't have a chance to write! I hope everyone is looking forward to an even better year in 2015! I watched the promo for next weeks episode of Chicago Fire today and I am very eager to see how things go! I really don't want Erin leaving though so it's a double edged sword... Anyway Happy New Year and enjoy :D**

With Kelly having taken most of the previous week off sick Erin decided the right thing to do was to stay home with Shay herself. The intelligence unit had pulled off all of their raids without Erin's help. At first she was disappointed to have missed out on such a massive operation then, after a conversation with Voight, realised the rest of the unit would be spending the next week doing paperwork. Life at home with Shay wasn't easy but she certainly didn't envy the endless reports they would be writing. Kelly felt like he was shirking his fatherly duties by going to work so to make up for it he was constantly dropping by.

"How it going?" He asked popping his head around the living room door to see Erin looking particularly miserable.

"She won't sleep unless I'm holding her" Erin replied looking down at Shay, sleeping like a starfish across her chest.

"Do you want me to hand you the remote?" He questioned trying to lighten the mood.

"That would be great, if I move she cries, if I talk she cries, if I think loudly she cries, basically I'm being a mattress" She answered trying to see the lighter side to her situation, it would have been much funnier if she hadn't been trapped in the same position for the last hour and a half, with an itch foot.

"Here" He said placing the remote in her hand. He watched on like a spectator in the final minutes of a close game as she raised the remote and pressed the on button. Her reaction time was perfect hitting the mute button immediately then turning down the volume to the lowest level and unmuting. Shay stirred slightly but didn't wake. Erin and Kelly made eye contact then sighed. She turned her attention back to the television, searching for a bearable daytime television program. Meanwhile Kelly had a brilliant idea and raced to the kitchen, Erin wondered what he was doing, she could hear the fridge opening and closing followed by cupboards and draws. All was revealed when he returned a few minutes later with a plate of her favourite snacks, he'd even gone to the effort of applying smooth peanut butter to half of the celery sticks and crunchy to the others. He placed the plate on the armrest of the chair and gave her a quick kiss on the head. "I really have to go now, is there anything else you need?" He said knowing that the longer he left the squad guys in the truck the more havoc they could wreak.

"Alright, have a nice afternoon, we'll be fine" Erin assured with a massive smile. Knowing that he was thinking of her made the job of keeping still for Shay so much easier.

"Okay, call me if you need anything" Kelly added.

"I will, stay safe" She answered as he turned to leave, looking over his shoulder one last time before rounding the door and disappearing out of sight. His squad were so relieved to have him back in the truck, apparently he's surpassed his previous personal best for a side stop on the way back from a call. One he untangled his seat belt, they'd had to do something to overcome the boredom, they made their way back to the firehouse. While they teased him mercilessly none of them had any concerns about dropping in to check on family, they had their own families and could easily relate. Each of them knew that in a crisis Kelly would be there for them, this was their way of being there for him. Word of Shay's ill health, with exaggerated accounts of her coughing fit and subsequent struggle to breathe, had spread around the firehouse and as a result everyone was being especially kind to Kelly. He appreciated their concern, they were his family just as much as Erin and Shay. Kelly set about putting on a new saw blade while the rest of the squad got stuck in making sure they were ready for the next call. Once everything was restocked and organised properly they headed to the squad table for a hand of cards. No sooner than the cards hit the table the alarm sounded and they were called to what sounded to be a tricky extrication. All the information they had was: 'MVA, two people trapped, car vs. tree'. As always they were ready for anything. Arriving on the scene Kelly took a moment to assess things before stepping into action.

"Newhouse with me, everyone else get the passenger" He ordered watching his team procure the tools they would need to get the teen out of the passenger side of the vehicle. Usually when a car hits a tree one side is severely damaged while the other is relatively untouched. In this case the tree had been hit straight on at such a velocity that the front half of the car had been torn in two. Kelly hadn't seen such a thing in all his career. "Hey there, we're going to get you out" He assured the driver when he was close enough to get a better look at the situation.

"Don't worry about me, get Polly out" The older driver instructed trying to look across to his passenger despite the hard collar the paramedics had put on him.

"The rest of my team are working on her, don't worry" Kelly answered. They got to work and sure enough a few minutes later the driver was free, rushed onto a spinal board and into the back of the ambulance. Only then did Kelly bother to walk around the car and assess the passenger. As he did so he saw his team step back, ceasing work to let the paramedics apply defibrillator pads to Polly's chest. The entire squad crew watched on in horror, silently hoping and praying that the paramedics would get her back. It quickly became apparent that Polly was too far gone, she was dead and his first instinct was to blame himself. In sombre silence they packed away their equipment and made their way back to the firehouse, any loss of life was tough but Polly looked fourteen at best, with her whole life ahead of her. Rather then resuming the game of cards they sat in silence, each preoccupied with thoughts of things they could have done differently, previous losses and the effect the loss would be having on the family. Everyone in the house understood what they were going though and gave them the space and time they needed. Kelly eventually got up and headed to his office, putting off his report would only make things worse. It temporarily eased the swirling stream of negative thoughts. Time passed slowly and strangely that night, he wanted to be home in bed with Erin and Shay but made do with text messages and too dark photographs. He hadn't yet told Erin the extent of his days work, they both preferred to discuss those kinds of thing in person, he also knew she was busy enough with Shay.

* * *

><p>"I brought breakfast" Kelly announced walking into the oddly quiet house first thing the next morning.<p>

"We'll be down in a sec" Erin called back, she had been putting off getting out of bed but was now eager. Shay had slept well and seemed to have improved greatly, she was awake, smiling and laughing too. Erin picked her up and settled Shay on her hip before heading down to the kitchen.

"Good morning beautiful" He greeted so enthusiastically that she instantly knew something was wrong.

"What happened?" She demanded putting all thoughts of food aside.

"We lost a kid, car accident, she was trapped and we couldn't get her out in time" He explained straight up, deflecting now would only be delaying the inevitable. Erin knew that words wouldn't help so instead she gave him a one armed hug, Shay understood and kept quiet. When he pulled away he took Shay giving her a hug and kiss then handed Erin the breakfast wrap he had bought her. They moved to the lounge and ate in front of the television, catching up on the morning news. Once they had both finished eating they discussed their plans for the day, Erin wanted to hit the grocery store and stock up before cooking up meals for the freezer. The last few weeks had depleted their supply and she wanted to get everything in order before she returned to work. Kelly was keen on staying home with Shay, her good mood had worn off quickly and she was clingy and tired again. He planned on heading to bed anyway so having Shay as company didn't bother him. Erin showered and dressed as quietly as she could, Kelly and Shay slept snuggled together on the bed. With a list in mind shopping took no time, and soon she was unpacking bags from the car. The first dilemma was fitting everything in the fridge. Feeling like she could set a new high score in Tetris she pulled out the cookbook and read through the recipe she intended to make. It was one of the few things good enough that she was constantly referring back to the recipe. That didn't mean that she had remembered the vast quantity of butter the pastry required, one thing she hadn't thought to buy at the store, instead she found herself researching alternatives on her phone. With the pastry problem overcome she got onto preparing the various pie fillings. While they cooked away she got ready for the second round, pasta sauces and lasagne.

Everything was either cooking or cooling when she turned to the fridge for a glass of juice to reward herself. The first thing she noticed when she pulled open the door was the lack of light, she closed it then opened it again, still nothing. She froze and listened for the ever present hum, nothing. All the other electrical devices were still working so the only explanation was that their fridge had spontaneously decided not to work. Things were cool enough for the time being but if the problem wasn't fixed soon half of the things she had bought would go bad. Thankfully Kelly had woken hungry and joined her in the kitchen shortly later. He handed over Shay then started his own diagnostic tests and repair attempts. When that didn't work he took Shay while Erin looked up and called fridge repairers. As it happened today was a busy day for people in that line of work and it would be hours before anyone could come and fix it. Frustrated that nothing ever went to plan Erin and Kelly helped themselves to refrigerated foods for lunch.

"I'm going to go ask the lady next door if she could spare some space in her fridge" Erin eventually resolved getting up and purposefully leaving the room. They had barely spoken a word to their neighbors since introducing themselves when they moved in, despite this they were surprisingly willing to help. Mrs. Croft, the kind old lady that lived up the street from them, got the man directly across the street to make space in his freezer. Erin was amazed by how kind complete strangers could be and soon her fridge and freezer were empty. When the fridge repairman finally stopped by he broke the news that replacing it would be cheaper then demanded money and left. It was too late to head to go out and buy a new one so they had a thrown together dinner.

"Everything should be fine now" Kelly said as they lay in bed that night.

"What do you mean?" She questioned, not following his train of thought.

"Threes, bad things happen in threes, Shay got sick, I had a crappy shift and the fridge broke, that's three" He explained punctuating it with a yawn.

"I hope you're right" She said positioning her head on his chest. Shay had surprised them both and happily decided to sleep in her own room.

"Me too" He agreed.

"I did say we needed a stainless steel fridge to match the oven and dishwasher when we moved in" She realised.

"We'll see, I like white" He replied.

"I do too, but it doesn't match" She argued.

"Why does it have to?"

"It looks better" She insisted giving in and yawning as well. The conversation faded into nothingness and they enjoyed the peace for a few moments before falling asleep.

**What do you think of going to work with Kelly for a bit? I just wanted to mix things up :D**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello everybody! The first update of 2015 :D **

Erin sat in the waiting room bouncing Shay on her knee, their appointment had been scheduled for just over half an hour ago, there still there was no sign of the doctor. She had even gone to the effort of making sure they arrived ten minutes early. Erin was thankful Shay was back to normal, if not the excessively long wait would have been unbearable. Shay's health had improved massively over the last few days, her appetite had returned followed by her positive attitude and she'd even started sleeping normally again. Erin had received daily updates from Halstead and Voight so she knew the team had completed their paperwork and were back on the trail of some of the city's most notorious criminals. These two factors combined, tempted her to going back to work. Shay was still on antibiotics for another week so Erin was conflicted. Kelly hadn't been in the right frame of mind to discuss it so Erin had made a doctor's appointment, needing another adult opinion on the topic. Kelly had blamed himself for Polly's death, despite the coroner's report and departmental investigation proving otherwise. Erin's attempts to discuss the topic had been ignored to the point that she increasingly felt like she was living alone with Shay. When he wasn't at work being ridiculously cavalier, Erin had heard from many sources that he'd been running into burning buildings for photo albums, pets and even toys, he was home sleeping. Erin knew what he was going through, she'd lost people too, and she didn't understand why he wasn't letting her in.

"Shay Severide" the doctor called snapping Erin back to reality. Erin slid her bag onto her arm as she stood and followed the doctor to his office. "Haven't seen you in a while" He commented looking across to his computer.

"Yeah, I went back to work so life has been a bit hectic" Erin explained.

"Understandably" He acknowledged, clearly still reading over Shay's records on his computer.

"Shay was hospitalised a fortnight ago, I asked her doctor to send you his report" She added.

"Oh, really? I haven't received anything. If you don't mind, I'll just go check with reception" He answered looking shocked.

"Sure" Erin answered, the fact he didn't know explained his behaviour. He left the room and returned a few minutes later.

"Nothing, I've got them looking into it though" He said moving around the desk to sit down again. "Why don't you tell me what happened"

"She developed a temperature and cough between when I dropped her at daycare in the morning and about lunchtime. Her dad picked her up, gave her some paracetamol which didn't help. She started coughing up blood and had trouble breathing so she was rushed to hospital where they ran a bunch of tests and figured out that she had a chest infection. She's been on antibiotics ever since, twice daily" Erin recalled, memories of how useless she had felt resurfaced but she tried to ignore them.

"That must have been terribly frightening" He responded typing away furiously.

"I was at work" She said blankly, she wasn't sure she'd ever get over it.

"She got to hospital in time and looking at her today I would never have picked it. You can't always be there" He said supportively. One of Erin's favourite things about this particular doctor was his ability to empathise and say exactly the right thing.

"She's still on the antibiotics but she's back to normal" Erin answered turning her attention to Shay who was chewing on the sleeve of her shirt.

"Well that's great, what's today's visit about then?" He asked knowing that she had never made an unscheduled appointment before.

"I want to go back again but she's still on medication so I wasn't sure if she's okay to go back to daycare" Erin said instantly feeling like a bad parent for even suggesting returning to work.

"I don't see why not, if she's taking medication morning and night they won't even have to worry about it" The doctor noted ignoring the doubt he saw in Erin's eyes.

"Really? It's only two days this week, I think" Erin said suddenly doubtful about Kelly's ability to look after Shay on his days off.

"You think?" He questioned.

"Yeah" She replied, smiling, it wasn't something she wanted to discuss.

"Well I can weigh her and do a bit of a check-up just to be sure if you want" He offered.

"That would be great" Erin sighed.

"Hello Shay, how are you?" He asked as he took Shay from Erin, carrying her over to the scales.

"Mama?" Shay replied looking to Erin with uncertainty, Erin smiled reassuringly and Shay started babbling in response to her doctors facial expressions.

"Gosh she's getting big" He commented noting her weight on a piece of paper.

"Well she eats a lot" Erin laughed.

"Still breast feeding?" He enquired.

"Just twice a day, she eats baby food and chews on just about anything" She answered wondering if she should intervene as Shay fought to grab the stethoscope.

"Good" He mumbled. Erin watched on silently as he measured and tested everything he could think of. "Her chest sounds perfect, everything else is normal as well" He said handing Shay back to Erin a few minutes later.

"So you're saying it's okay to send her to daycare tomorrow?" Erin asked hopefully.

"Absolutely fine" He nodded.

"Great, thanks" She said, allowing herself to smile.

"Any other questions?" He asked transferring his notes into the computer.

"No, that was everything. Thanks" Erin answered getting up to leave.

"See you in…" He looked at his appointment register "a month"

"Okay" She replied as he held the door open for her. He walked her out to the reception desk and checked up with the receptionist. There was still no sign of the hospital doctor's report. Erin checked her phone on the way to the car sending Lara a quick apology, she was running late for their lunch. Since they were already late Erin took a few minutes to call Nina at the daycare centre and organise Shay's return for the next day. Of course she then met every single red light between the clinic and Lara's house. By the time she arrived Shay was sleeping in her car seat, not wanting to wake her Erin simply unclipped it and carried it inside with her.

"It's so good to see you!" Lara squealed as she pulled open the door, Erin had put the car seat down in preparation for the hug she knew was coming.

"It's great to see you too" Erin said as Lara released her.

"Come in" Lara said stepping aside to welcome Erin into her home. Just as their home had changed to accommodate Shay, Lara and Josh's house was completely different now that Willow was getting close to walking. "Will's upstairs having a nap" Lara explained. Erin placed Shay in the corner, out of the way but still close so she could keep an eye on her.

"So how have you been?" Erin asked.

"Great, I've really got the hang of the whole mum thing. I haven't been doing anything interesting though, not like you back at work" Lara replied.

"Well I've been terrible at the mum thing and great at work..." Erin trailed off.

"Don't be silly, you are a great mum" Lara scolded.

"Sure, that explains why my baby had to be rushed to hospital while I was off raiding gang hangouts" She elaborated.

"That can't be the whole story, tell me what really happened" Lara forced.

"Okay" Erin said before taking a deep breath. She started at the beginning and told the whole story in as much detail as she could manage.

"Oh, poor Kelly, it must have been dreadful" Lara said when Erin finally finished.

"I'm so over poor Kelly" Erin snorted.

"What's going on there?" Lara demanded.

"A girl his team were trying to get out of a car died. He's blaming himself and working until he collapses. I haven't spoken with him properly since and I'm sick of it" Erin said sounding particularly harsh.

"So he's blaming himself?" Lara questioned.

"Yeah and that's fine, that's normal for a while. It's been almost two weeks and he can't keep going like this" Erin replied.

"Are you angry at him or worried about him?" Lara probed trying to gauge the situation properly.

"Both" She answered looking over to check that Shay was still sleeping, she'd dropped her lion but slept on peacefully. "I'm worried about him" Erin said after a moments thought. "He's taking stupid risks, he has Shay and me but it doesn't seem to bother him. I just want him to talk to me."

"Have you given him a chance?" Lara asked.

"Not really, I've been letting him do whatever he wants and staying out of his way" Erin answered as realisation dawned.

"Then that's what you have to do, once Shay is in bed tonight talk to him" Lara instructed getting up to organise lunch.

"I'll do my best" Erin agreed. The conversation turned to a lighter subject and they discussed their growing girls as they ate lunch. Erin was thankful to have someone to talk to and couldn't help but feel that Lara's message had arrived at the perfect time. They hadn't spoken much since becoming mothers but their friendship was the sort that was easily picked up where it left off. Erin left feeling much better about herself and her complains. While Lara had been quick to defend Kelly she soon realised that all Lara was doing was making her analyse the situation by leaving the emotion out of it. Arriving home it didn't appear that Kelly had moved all day. Erin had mentally prepared herself to give him her full attention and set about getting dinner and Shay's bedtime routine out of the way. She showered, giving Kelly time to settle into bed, then joined him. For the first time in days she snuggled against his side. She let silence fall over them hoping to force him into breaking it. Not falling asleep was the hard part as the minutes ticked by.

"I'm sorry" He whispered eventually looking down at her. Placing a finger under her chin he tilted her head up and claimed her lips.

"That's okay" Erin murmured in response when he pulled away. It didn't take long for his lips to return, suddenly hungry.

"You're so beautiful" He added as he started kissing along her jaw. Inside Erin's head a storm was brewing and soon enough it got to the point that she could no longer hold her thoughts in. She placed a hand on Kelly's chest and gently pushed him back, he resisted so she pushed harder.

"Are you sorry because you realise you've been handling this wrong or because you want sex?" She asked.

"Erin" He groaned.

"I'm serious, you have the choice here, you can talk to me or we can keep things going the way they have been for the last couple of weeks. I'm not saying I wouldn't rather have sex but I'm not going to give in until you decide to grow up and talk about your feelings. Oh, I forgot macho firemen don't even have feelings" She ranted feeling colour rising in her cheeks

"Oh I have feelings" He replied, clearly fighting to keep his voice down.

"Really? What are you feeling?" Erin questioned.

"Pissed off" He replied throwing back the blanket and getting out of bed.

"Where are you going?" She asked softly.

"The couch, night" Kelly replied coldly marching purposefully out of the room.

"Night" She replied though it was too late. Flopping back onto the bed she couldn't help but wonder what Lara would think of her. Surely this wasn't what Lara had had in mind. Erin groaned and tried to find a comfortable position, if only she could turn off her mind she might stand a chance at sleep. Laying in the darkness made it easy to catastrophize, what if they never made up?


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay, so I'm a firm believer that you cannot have the rainbow without the rain. As such I pride myself on conveying a realistic relationship. The story would be quite boring if they were happy all the time. Please forgive me and realise that everything I write is part of a bigger picture. **

In the morning Erin woke feeling determined. She was out of the house with Shay in tow an hour earlier than necessary. Kelly was still snoring on the couch when she let the front door slam closed behind her. Nina was very pleased to see Shay looking so much better. Erin was quick to assure Nina that she wasn't at all to blame for Shay's ill health. Shay seemed just as content in Nina's arms as she was in her mothers so Erin didn't hesitate to give her a goodbye kiss and leave. Rather than heading straight to the district she stopped at the boxing gym frequented by the intelligence unit, mostly because of the discount Antonio had negotiated for them. Erin pulled her hair into a ponytail and found herself a punching bag, letting the emotions she had been holding back fly. Each punch landed with a satisfying thud. She lost track of time only stopping when she became to exhausted to continue. The timing just so happened to coincide with Jay Halstead's arrival at the gym.

"What are you doing here?" He asked approaching her as she turned away from the punching bag.

"Punching things" Erin replied with a shake of the head, it was a dumb question so she supplied the obvious response.

"Just because you felt like it?" He questioned, undeterred.

"Yeah" She answered, she knew he was fishing for more information. She grabbed her towel and water bottle and walked off leaving him standing there confused. He thought on it for a moment then turned his attention to his own morning work out. Erin showered, dressed and made the trip to the district in silence. The moment she walked through the door she forgot about Kelly and Shay focusing fully on the work day she had ahead.

"Oh, it's a hair up day. Watch out" Olinsky commented as Erin walked in to find the unit lounging around their desks.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She questioned, feigning innocence.

"You know what it means" Olinsky laughed before turning on Ruzek and ordering him to fetch some paperwork. Antonio and Atwater turned in their chairs and pretended to get to work, it was pointless until Voight arrived and introduced their new case. Halstead turned up twenty minutes late but Voight still hadn't arrived so there was nothing but Lindsay's glare to reprimand him.

"Sorry I'm late, I've been talking to a CI and I've got us a case" Voight announced when he arrived half an hour later.

"What is it?" Atwater asked eagerly, he had been twiddling his thumbs while everyone else used the free time to read emails, check the news or discover the latest funny cat videos.

"My CI gave me a tip off about a truck load of drugs coming into the city soon. Wouldn't give me any details, just a name. I want to know everything there is to know about Thomas Sullivan" Voight answered as he scrawled the name across the whiteboard. They didn't need to be told twice, snapping to action. Antonio divided up the task assigning bank records, criminal records, personal life, known associates and family to different members of the unit. It wasn't long before Lindsay had found everything in the system about his family and urged a visit to his mother. She ran it past Voight and with his approval found herself driving out to the suburbs with Halstead complaining from the passenger seat.

"Ma'am, Chicago PD, can we come in?" Lindsay asked though she didn't give the impression that the woman had any choice.

"Alright" Mrs Sullivan answered leading them through to a cosy living room.

"We just wanted to talk about your son Thomas" Halstead provided once they were all seated.

"Tommy? What do you want with him? He's a good boy" She defended quickly.

"When did you last see him?" Lindsay questioned.

"A couple of weeks ago. What's this about?" Mrs Sullivan asked.

"We have reason to believe your son is involved in some fairly high level drug smuggling, we need to talk to him" Lindsay answered holding eye contact for as long as possible.

"Talk, you lot don't talk. You shoot people" She replied looking up to the family photo on the wall. Lindsay followed her eyes and noted the two boys, there had been no record of a brother.

"We want to avoid that" Halstead said.

"Do you know where Thomas is?" Lindsay asked.

"If I did I wouldn't tell you" Mrs Sullivan answered.

"Ma'am please, we don't want to hurt him. We just want to stop him committing a major felony" Lindsay said trying not to get frustrated.

"Your lot said they wanted to talk to Bobby too, then they shot him. Do you have kids?" She asked softly.

"Does it matter?" Lindsay shrugged.

"If you did you'd know that the most important job any parent has is to protect their kid. I'm sorry but I can't help you anymore" Mrs Sullivan replied getting up quickly and ushering them out of her house before they could change her mind.

"Well that was helpful" Halstead said as they drove away.

"More so than you think, the moment we're out of sight she's going to try and contact her kid. If we're lucky we might be able to find him" Lindsay responded with a smile. They weren't sure whether to be pleased or frustrated when they arrived back at the district to find that the search for Thomas Sullivan had been disregarded following a new discovery. Using telephone and bank records they had been able to link Sullivan to a number of other unsavory characters, one of which was particularly close with a CI Antonio knew. The CI had happily given over the entire plan when asked, they were going to get a massive quantity of illegal drugs into the city in the walls of a house on the back of a truck. It was certainly a novel idea but now the intelligence unit were onto them they stood no chance of succeeding. With this information all they needed to do was prepare to stop the truck early on Thursday morning. They found the perfect stretch of motorway for the bust and sorted the finer details. By the time Erin left at five everything had been planned out perfectly.

* * *

><p>One thing they couldn't have anticipated was the discovery of Thomas Sullivan's corpse by some uniformed officers in the middle of the night. The officers been patrolling near a busy nightclub when they spotted the body in an alley. Lindsay felt terrible for Mrs Sullivan, in response she headed the investigation. It took most of the morning to find where Sullivan had been killed and from there they were able to use CCTV footage to identify his killer. Lindsay wanted to bring him in but Voight insisted they wait until after the bust, chances were he'd be there anyway.<p>

"You did this" Mrs Sullivan screamed at Lindsay when their paths crossed at the front desk later that afternoon.

"Mrs Sullivan, I'm sorry for your loss" Lindsay replied calmly.

"I hope your kid dies" Mrs Sullivan spat back, Lindsay didn't look back as she headed up the stairs. Lindsay knew Mrs Sullivan was distraught but the thought of anything happening to Shay still made her feel sick. She wanted to call Kelly and check in but instead she did paperwork.

"I want everyone here by four thirty in the morning" Voight commanded before dismissing them for an early night. Erin headed straight home and took Shay for a walk to the park. She increasingly felt like two people, Detective Lindsay and Shay's mum. Kelly had dinner ready by the time they got back. Sitting in the dining room to eat was ridiculously tense, Erin fought the urge to throw herself at him and kiss all his troubles away, along with her own. Instead she ran over the plan for the next morning in her head while she ate. They performed their parenting duties then got ready for bed.

"I have to be at work by four thirty in the morning so you'll need to drop off Shay. Her bag is already packed and by the door, her clothes for tomorrow are on the dresser" Erin said when Kelly entered the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Okay" He acknowledged.

"Can you please come back to the bed tonight?" She asked, the words escaping her mouth before she could stop them.

"Alright" He agreed, the couch wasn't exactly comfortable and he was tired. Now that he finally felt like he could let her into his head he hesitated, not wanting to distract her from her work.

Waking up with Kelly's arm around her waist made her smile, even if it was insanely early. She snuck out of bed, dressed and was gone. The rest of the team were pumped and it was hard not to let the excitement get the better of her. It was still going to be a dangerous situation and Voight made this very clear in his briefing. They were to say with their partners at all times. They headed to the motorway and got into position, communicating over their ear pieces. The truck rolled into view, the house on the back wasn't really a house, just half of one. Still full of plenty of hiding places. As soon as the truck stopped they made their approach. Antonio and Voight drew the anticipated gunfire of the very angry driver and passenger while the rest of the team gained access to the house. They moved through strategically, treating it just as they would if it wasn't on the back of a truck. All up they found and arrested three men, each poorly concealed in the shell of a house. With the driver and passenger Voight and Antonio had arrested they had five fugitives in custody. Next came the fun part, taking sledgehammers to the walls to find the drugs. Each wall was packed from top to bottom with packages the size of bricks. They called in narcotics who were eager to join in on the demolition. By the time they were finished they'd successfully beaten the state weight record for a single drug haul. They headed back to the district and got straight to work extracting confessions, not only for the smuggling but for a number of other outstanding crimes as well. It was an arduous process, not helped by the constant need to refer to and work with other units.

"We'll do the paperwork tomorrow, head home" Voight instructed just after three o'clock.

"Not complaining, but Molly's won't be open" Ruzek replied looking around the room for support.

"I'll buy a round tomorrow when all the reports are in, until then I want you all to go home and get some rest" Voight answered. That seemed to make everyone happy and they all collected their things leaving before he could change his mind. Erin was in the daycare parking lot before she had a chance to think, she planned to spend the afternoon with Shay then have an early night.

"Good afternoon, can I see Nina please?" Erin asked the girl at the front desk.

"Nina isn't here today but I can get Clara, her stand in" the girl replied turning and moving to do so. Erin waited patiently.

"I'm here for Shay" She said when Clara arrived.

"Shay?" Clara asked looking suddenly confused.

"Yes, Shay Severide" Erin clarified shaking her head, if Nina were there she'd be leaving already.

"S..s..she's not here, somebody already picked her up" Clara replied getting paler by the second.

"Her dad?" Erin questioned, then she started wondering why on earth Kelly would pick Shay up early.

"No" Clara replied.

"Then who?" Erin asked, there were only four people allowed to pick Shay up and Erin had a hard time believing Gabby or Cindy were behind it.

"I don't actually know" Clara admitted bursting into tears.

"What do you mean you don't know? You gave my baby to a stranger?" Erin asked, already moving past the gate and into the daycare center. This was so utterly ridiculous there had to have been a mistake, surely if she looked properly Shay would be there.

"I'm sorry. She knew Shay though. She knew where you worked too, I just assumed..." Clara said following Erin on her search.

"Stop talking" Erin snapped, her stomach sinking as she realised Shay was actually missing. Erin stopped to take a deep breath trying to work out the best way to handle the situation. Panic washed over her and she fumbled her phone from her pocket.

"Erin, what's up?" Voight asked casually.

"Hank, someone's taken Shay" She managed weakly.

**To Be Continued...**

**Things have to get worse before they can get better, no? Don't hate me...**

**P.S - I was made aware of some technical difficulties in viewing the last chapter, this had nothing to do with me and I am hoping it has all been sorted now. **


	20. Chapter 20

**So I've already reneged on one of my new years resolutions...I ate way too much chocolate while writing this!**

Hank Voight was old fashioned, he didn't like to make phone calls while driving. He was happy to make an exception now though, calling the team back in and giving them directions to the daycare center. Meanwhile Erin was trying to get information from Clara, who was blubbering instead of answering questions. Voight arrived and sent Erin outside to call Kelly while he took the calm and soft approach with Clara, judging it would be the only method that worked.

"Kelly, you need to come to the daycare center" Erin said pacing back and forth.

"Whats going on?" He asked having no context from which to discern her reasoning for requesting his presence.

"Someone's taken Shay" She replied. It was the second time she'd said those three words, this time they were accompanied by physical pain. Anything could be happening to Shay, she had grown so much but she was still delicate and incredibly vulnerable. Erin didn't want to think about the possibilities but there was no way somebody would steal a baby without some form of malicious intent.

"I'm on my way" Kelly replied after a long silence, somehow he managed to sound calm. Erin sat on the low brick wall that ran around the raised garden bed trying to dismiss the terrible thoughts racing through her head. Antonio was the first to arrive, without speaking he pulled Erin into a hug. He'd been in exactly the same position and knew what she was feeling.

"We'll find her" Antonio assured when he stepped back, looking her dead in the eyes. She nodded then watched as he entered the daycare center. Ruzek and Burgess arrived together, Erin didn't care what was going on between them, she was just happy to have more people looking. Antonio returned to the car park and sent Ruzek and Burgess to search the immediate area, including the playground two blocks away. Erin knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Erin" Halstead said softly when he stopped in front of her.

"Who would do this?" She asked him, the question had been swirling around in her mind and saying it aloud helped.

"I don't know, but we'll find them, we'll find Shay" He answered determinedly. Erin stood and initiated a hug, he was her partner and at times she wondered if he knew her better than anyone else, purely because they'd spent so much time together. He held her firmly and she let herself cry, tears streaming down her face as the severity of the situation finally got to much. She had been too busy at work to protect her baby. When she finally released Jay the first thing she noticed was Kelly standing with Antonio awkwardly watching her while trying to listen to what the detective was saying. Wiping her cheeks to regain composure Erin moved to fill him in on the situation. Voight interrupted ordering everyone back to the district.

"Erin, with me" He barked. She looked at Kelly then did as she was told and got in Voights car.

"What did she say?" Erin questioned when he didn't start speaking.

"Middle aged woman, short and blonde" Voight described, Clara really hadn't been paying much attention so they had very little to go on. "Pissed off anyone matching that description recently?" He asked while she processed the information.

"Mrs Sullivan!" Erin announced suddenly remembering how angry the woman had been.

"Thomas Sullivan's mother?" Voight asked.

"Yeah, she said she hoped my kid dies" Erin realised unable to keep the fear from her voice.

"Then that's where we look" He said before interfacing with the car to get Antonio to pick up Atwater and get to Mrs Sullivan's house. Erin supplied the address feeling a tiny surge of relief knowing they were on their way. She wanted Voight to turn the car around so she could face Mrs Sullivan herself but knew he would never agree. At the district Voight made her tea then forced her to sit in the break room while he went down to talk to Platt. Olinsky had been at his desk the whole time trawling through the CCTV footage from up and down the road of the daycare center. Tracking the car had become their only lead when Antonio had called to let them know Mrs Sullivan wasn't home. Erin ignored Voight's commands and went over see if Olinsky was making any progress.

"You're looking for Mrs Sullivan's car?" Erin questioned.

"Yeah" He replied without taking his eyes from the screen. Erin stood watching over his shoulder until Kelly arrived, now it was her turn to make tea.

"The whole unit is working on this" She assured, trying to sound confident.

"I don't know how to feel" Kelly said looking up at her, the pain in his eyes matched the fear in hers. "Other than useless" He added.

"We have an idea who it is, we just have to find her and hope..." She stopped herself.

"Hope that they haven't hurt her?" He questioned. She couldn't bring herself to answer so instead gave him a nod. "Who is it? Why?"

"There's a woman who's son died yesterday, she blamed me. I don't know how she found out about Shay or anything but I don't think she'd hurt her. I think she just wants me to understand what she's going through" Erin replied, it was hard to try and rationalise such an irrational act.

"Were you involved in his death?" Kelly asked. For a moment Erin felt hurt that he even needed to ask.

"No, not at all but I spoke to her about him the day before. Her nephew was killed by a policeman, she adopted him when her sister died. I think she's hated the police ever since" Erin explained.

"Okay" He said unable to think of any further questions.

"I'm going to go see what's happening, stay here" She said when Voight arrived a few minutes later.

"Still nothing" Voight announced before Erin had a chance to ask. "You just have to sit tight" He instructed before leading her back to the break room. She sat reluctantly then started stabbing holes in a Styrofoam cup the minute Voight left the room. Erin watched as one by one the unit returned to their desks, knowing they'd reached the point where time was the only solution. Kelly held her hand and they sat in silence, Erin allowed her mind to wander. When she returned to reality she noticed the team huddled around Olinsky's desk. She couldn't stop herself from joining them, standing quietly a little way back so no one noticed her presence. Olinsky had located Mrs Sullivan's car at a mall, Voight was laying down their plan: find the security office and view security camera footage until they spotted Mrs Sullivan, then lock down the shop she was in and negotiate getting Shay back.

"What if she won't give the kid over?" Ruzek questioned.

"We shoot her, we're not messing around today. This is family" Voight responded scanning faces to make sure everyone understood. "Suit up, we roll in five" He finished and everyone turned to leave.

"I'm coming too" Erin said catching up with Voight just as he reached his office door.

"No you aren't" He replied. "You being there won't help. I'll get her back, trust me."

"Hank, please?" She asked.

"No" He said firmly as he pulled his vest on and checked his gun.

"Please?" She pleaded sounding more pathetic than ever before.

"You can stay in the car" Voight agreed shaking his head.

"I'll stay in the security office" She corrected, he sighed. Voight knew all to well how good she was at getting her own way so he didn't bother to argue.

"Get Nadia to sit with Kelly then" He ordered. Erin apologised to Kelly profusely but he didn't seem to mind that he was being left behind.

"I don't care, just bring her back" Kelly said before watching Erin and the rest of the team leave. Halstead kept a close eye on his partner as they made their way through the mall, the car park and security office were on opposite sides of the complex. The rest of the unit were looking for Mrs Sullivan and Shay, there was no sign of them amongst the crowd but they didn't lose hope. Voight was rather forceful in dealing with the head of security determined to gain access to the security cameras immediately. With eight pairs of eyes on the dozen screens it didn't take long for them to spot Mrs Sullivan. Burgess pointed her out on the bottom right monitor.

"Where's Shay?" Erin questioned fully expecting to see her baby with Mrs Sullivan.

"We'll go ask her, you stay here" Voight replied. A moment later he ordered Burgess to stay with Erin, just in case. Erin watched the screen intently, Mrs Sullivan might not have Shay but she would certainly have answers. It was hard not to smile as the team swiftly and efficiently took Mrs Sullivan into custody, even with only the grainy security camera footage to go on Erin could tell Mrs Sullivan wasn't pleased. Burgess received a phone call that ordered her to delay Erin so they had time to get Mrs Sullivan back to the district and into the interrogation room before she arrived. It was definitely an easier said than done situation, Erin now desperate to get her baby back. Burgess insisted they stop for food as they made their way back to the car, selecting the longest line and most complicated order. If Burgess wasn't her only ride back to the district Erin would have gotten angry, instead she paced until the order was filled. When the pair finally arrived back at the district nobody even tried to stand in Erin's way. She looked ready to explode but didn't interrupt the interrogation the way they had expected, instead content to watch the exchange through the glass. Mrs Sullivan's blatant denial of any involvement was at first frustrating but as Voight continued to question her it became apparent that she really wasn't involved. That she had driven past the daycare was completely coincidental. When Erin realised this meant that they had been wasting all their time, that they were really no closer to finding Shay, she sunk to the ground. Pulling her knees to her chest she curled herself into a ball and cried. Those who had been watching the interrogation alongside her didn't know how to react. When Erin ignored their attempts at comforting they retreated momentarily, returning with Kelly. Kelly didn't say a word he just sat down beside her and placed an arm around her shoulders.

"Aren't you going to find who does have Shay?" Kelly asked looking up at the small crowd of intelligence officers when they continued to stand and stare minutes later. That got rid of them but also resulted in a muffled sob from Erin. After a long time wondering what he could say to help her he figured it out. "This isn't helping" He said harshly, she gave him a glare but couldn't help but see the truth in the statement. She got up, straightened herself and joined the rest of the unit.

"Any idea who else would do this?" Antonio asked when Erin had been watching for a few minutes.

"No" Erin replied, she had been so sure it would be Mrs Sullivan that she hadn't even considered it could be anyone else. There was no one else with motive.

"You have a pretty regular routine, have you noticed anyone matching the description watching you?" Olinsky asked.

"No" Erin answered again feeling more than useless.

"Atwater, take Burgess to Erin's house and question her neighbours, they might have noticed something odd" Voight ordered and the two young officers got straight to it. "Antonio, go get Clara. We'll get a composite picture together so we can search databases" Voight continued running his fingers through his hair as he did so. Erin took a seat at her desk, entered the information they did have then started scrolling through the tens of thousands of images. Kelly joined her trying to feel purposeful but none of the women looked even vaguely familiar.

"Mrs Croft is the nosiest old lady I've met in a long time" Burgess commented when she and Atwater arrived back.

"And?" Erin asked hopefully.

"She's downstairs making another composite picture, we figured having two wouldn't hurt. Says the lady has been watching your house, started a few weeks ago then she disappeared for a week and started again last Wednesday" Burgess informed proudly. Suddenly the house Erin had grown to feel safe and secure in seemed much less so, she wondered how she could have missed someone watching them. She knew the answer though, she had been so caught up with Shay being sick and the conflict with Kelly that she wouldn't have noticed a thing. A realisation hit Erin and she quickly looked at the computer screen.

"Shay needs her medicine in an hour" Erin said quietly. Logically she knew that despite the doctors insisting Shay complete the course there was little harm in missing the third last dose. Emotionally she felt that it was just another thing she was failing to do as a parent.

"It'll be alright" Kelly assured brushing her hand off the mouse and scrolling for himself.

"Okay so Clara said the woman knew where you work and knew Shay's name. That has to narrow it down" Atwater said looking at Kelly and Erin hopefully.

"Not really if she's been watching the house I'm sure she could figure out where I work. Shay's name is on her bag, it could be seen from a fair distance" Erin replied.

"So you don't know any older, blonde women?" Atwater asked just to be sure.

"None that would do this" Erin replied before turning her attention back to her computer screen. It was a long shot but searching through the images was more likely to lead to something than hypothesizing aloud. They continued to scan the faces, hoping one would stand out.

"Erin, you're going to want to see these" Voight said when he reached the top of the stairs with the two composite pictures. Erin looked up as he turned the pictures around so she could see them. She recognised the face instantly, she pulled open her desk drawer, smacking the corner right into Kelly's knee. It distracted him momentarily but he was still able to grab her hand when she pulled out her gun and tried to make for the door.

"Wait isn't that...?" Kelly asked holding her wrist firmly.

"It is" Erin answered pulling her arm free of his grip.

"Kid, I'll come with you" Voight insisted.

"Who is it?" Halstead asked in the silence that followed, feeling he'd been left out of the conversation long enough.

"My mum" Erin answered quickly. The unit seemed stumped by the revelation but were also very relieved, they finally knew who had Shay. "Lets go then" Erin said looking directly at Voight, she had a feeling she would need him there if she was to avoid becoming a murderer. While they hadn't been invited or ordered everyone followed them out to the parking lot. Kelly rode with Antonio and Halstead while Olinsky found himself stuck with Ruzek, Atwater and Burgess.

"Erin, two things. First, the priority is getting Shay back. Second, you can do whatever you like to Bunny, just don't kill her" Voight instructed as Erin directed them to her mothers latest address.

"I wouldn't" Erin answered, while she might have felt like it she could never do something that would guarantee long term separation from Shay.

"I know" He replied pulling up out the front of the surprisingly nice house. Erin got out of the car and climbed the front stairs, waiting until Voight joined her before ringing the doorbell.

"Erin, hello" Johnny answered looking pleased.

"Where is she?" Erin demanded watching as the smile fell from his face.

"They're in the lounge" He said and as he moved back to point she pushed past him. The joy of seeing Shay momentarily overrode any anger she felt. She pulled Shay from her mothers arms and held her to her chest. Voight and Johnny stood watching in the doorway. Shay started squirming and Erin took a moment to check her over fully before looking up at her mother. She thought for a moment then turned and left the room and house, crossing the street to where Kelly stood. Shay was in for another crushing hug as her father joined the reunion. Kelly pressed a kiss to Erin's head then took Shay, a massive smile spreading across his face now that she was safely in his arms. Erin didn't want to leave them but knew she had to speak with her mother. Voight had already made a start.

"What were you thinking?" Erin asked looking at her mother while shaking her head.

"I put a note in your mail box telling you I had her, there was no need for any of this fuss" Bunny replied. Erin noticed the look of shock on Johnny's face, he'd clearly been lied to.

"Everything is wrong with that statement. You don't think do you? Why would I check the mail box when my baby is missing?" Erin questioned keeping her voice even, yelling wouldn't help.

"You think I'm the one to blame here but you're the one who won't let me see her!" She defended.

"Damn right I won't let you see her! And after this you'll never see her again" Erin said calmly, her mother didn't deserve any more second chances, especially not where Shay was involved.

"Oh come on Erin" Bunny whined.

"No. Don't come looking for her again because I'll have you arrested"

"You wouldn't" Johnny interrupted, stunned by the revelation that his wife's relationship with her daughter wasn't as rosy as he'd been led to believe.

"I would and I won't hesitate if that's what it takes to protect my baby" Erin answered looking across to Voight, he gave her a quick nod then followed her out of the house. Not before giving both it's occupants a warning look.

"Home?" Kelly asked looking exhausted. Erin nodded and turned to follow him to the car, halfway there she stopped and turned. She ran back and thanked everyone for their help. Kelly was still holding Shay, the car door open and car seat waiting.

"I'm so sorry" Erin said noticing the way he looked at Shay.

"You didn't do this" He replied before leaning down and strapping Shay in. Erin let him drive, only because he had been standing on that side of the car. They stopped and bought take out on the way home, neither felt like cooking or eating. Arriving home they ate then found themselves simply staring at Shay. Just like when she had been sick they took her to bed with them, she slept soundly between them while they lay watching her.

"If this wasn't my fault then Polly's death wasn't yours" Erin whispered, they were physically and emotionally exhausted but she felt like now was the right time for this conversation.

"I know that now, I just...It was the first person I've lost since Shay was born. Polly was a kid and a daughter and I couldn't stop thinking about Shay. How I could have worked harder" He replied huskily.

"Oh" Erin said.

"Forgive me? I should have talked to you, you were so busy with Shay and burying it seemed so much easier" He revealed.

"Already have, and I'm never too busy to talk. I promise" She replied with a smile.

"I'm never too busy either" He assured, rather than looking at Shay they were looking at each other.

"This was the worst day" Erin laughed softly when the silence grew to loud to bear.

"Tomorrow will be better" He replied as he carefully leaned across Shay to kiss Erin. She kissed back wondering how they had let the conflict drag on for so long when the solution was so simple, a quick conversation and a kiss. When they pulled apart to breathe and both found themselves yawning they decided they'd better sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

The familiar buzzing of a phone was the first sound Erin heard the next morning. She hoped that if she ignored it, it would stop. It did momentarily and she had just drifted back to sleep when it started again. She groaned softly and rolled over snatching her phone from the bedside table. "What?" Erin asked as she answered the phone, hoping to convey from the outset that she wasn't pleased to have been disturbed so early.

"Don't even think about coming into work today" Voight said gruffly.

"Wasn't planning on it" Erin replied before hanging up and returning the phone to its place. Careful not to make much noise she rolled back. Shay was sleeping, stretched out like a starfish while all Erin could see of Kelly was his back. Erin tried to return to the comfortable position she had been in prior to the phone call but it was no use. Instead she placed a hand on Shay's belly and was instantly met with big blue eyes. Erin couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment as Shay locked eyes with her and gave a massive smile. They spent a long time just looking at each other, Shay quiet and fascinated, Erin thoughtful. Shay finally decided she was bored, she rolled and pushed off Kelly's back to get closer to her mother. Erin pulled Shay up onto her chest pressing a kiss to her head as she did so. Shay grabbed a handful of her mothers hair and shoved it into her mouth, her confused look when it didn't taste any good was priceless. Next she moved onto the shirt, it didn't taste great either. "Are you hungry bub?" Erin asked in a whisper, Shay's eyes snapped up to meet hers at the word hungry. Erin shifted onto her side and Shay tried to help her get the shirt fabric out of the way, as soon as her breast met open air Shay took over. "Such a piglet" Erin commented as Shay started dribbling milk everywhere in her desperation. She looked down and smoothed Shay's soft hair, when she looked up again Kelly was facing her, a massive grin on his face.

"Morning" He greeted.

"Morning" She replied. "I didn't mean to wake you"

"You didn't, its fine" Kelly said quickly, it was obvious to Erin that she had but the smile still hadn't left his face so he clearly didn't mind.

"Ow" Erin said suddenly breaking eye contact to look down at Shay.

"What?" He asked confused.

"She's getting teeth" She replied as she straightened her shirt. Shay poked out her bottom lip and threatened to cry not understanding why breakfast was being cut short. "No biting" Erin told Shay as she sat her up, Shay looked to Kelly before deciding not to cause a fuss. He had watched the exchange with a horrified expression, Shay didn't understand it and Erin struggled not to laugh at it.

"She's getting so big" He said after watching Shay for a few moments.

"Yeah, it won't be long before she's running around causing chaos" Erin replied. Usually thinking of how much Shay had grown made her miss the tiny baby she had been, today Erin was just thankful that they'd found her.

"I might have to do some more baby proofing" He pondered aloud.

"Just make sure you buy the same brand of gate, I'm not learning a whole new locking system" She said remembering the difficulty she had had with the last one.

"I'll do my best. I think we'll need three more, one halfway up the hall so she isn't getting into the other bedrooms, one between the living room and downstairs hallway and one into the kitchen. I could do that today" He said, thinking carefully about the dangers their house held for Shay.

"I'm going to go make breakfast, you can watch Shay and plan your baby prison" Erin replied, she was certain she could learn to install them herself but it was nice that he was willing.

"What are you making?" He questioned, replacing all thoughts of baby gates with food.

"Bacon and egg wraps?" She asked stopping in the doorway to make sure he didn't have any special requests.

"Awesome" He answered. Kelly played peek-a-boo with Shay in bed until the smell from the kitchen got too strong to resist. They arrived just in time for breakfast. Kelly took Shay with him to the hardware store to buy baby gates then got on with installing them while Erin cleaned, vacuumed and did laundry. By lunchtime they'd run out of things to do.

"What should we do this afternoon?" Erin asked looking at Kelly hopefully.

"It's a nice day, we should go out" He replied.

"Where though?" She questioned trying to think of somewhere other than the park down the street.

"I dunno, we could just go for a walk down by the lake" He suggested, struggling to be more creative.

"Great idea, I'll get her hat" Erin replied particularly excited for an excuse to finally use the new hat she had bought Shay. It was reversible with red and white stripes on the inside and navy with white butterflies on the outside.

"Okay" He answered softly, giving Shay a confused look, he certainly hadn't thought it was that good an idea. Erin returned with the hat and a jacket as well, it didn't matter that there were already three of Shay's jackets in her car.

"Lets go" She said excitedly removing Shay from her high chair and moving towards the door.

"I haven't even got shoes on" He called to her as he stood.

"Hurry up" She replied heading out to the car without him. Erin had been waiting patiently in the car for a few minutes when he finally arrived.

"Sorry, couldn't find socks" Kelly explained as he slid into the passenger seat.

"That's because I washed them all" She replied reversing out of the driveway and heading for the lake. There were some joggers, a few couples siting talking and a bunch of kids with ice creams running wild. Kelly hoisted Shay up onto his shoulders from which she could observe everything going on. They walked slowly, enjoying just being together. Talking about anything and everything.

"Where are we going for date night next week?" Kelly asked.

"I have no idea, was there somewhere you wanted to go?" She responded, secretly pleased that he had brought up the topic.

"Casey was raving about a new place a few streets away from Molly's" He answered.

"Sounds good, you'll book?" Erin asked looking out across the lake, small white tipped waves rolled over the surface.

"Done" He agreed.

"I can't send Shay back to that daycare center" She said when they'd walked in silence for a while.

"We'll find something" He assured taking a moment to think about how best to approach the topic.

"Over the weekend?" She asked skeptically. "I don't know if I can trust anyone ever again."

"I have Monday off. It doesn't have to be a daycare, there are people we trust who we could ask Lara or Cindy..." He suggested, unable to think of anyone else. Erin and Lara were fairly close friends but Lara was still the perfect housewife and couldn't help herself from judging at times. Cindy on the other hand was perfect and incredibly trustworthy, she would treat Shay as one of her own and protect her fiercely.

"I'll think about it" Erin replied, and so she did as they at last decided to turn around and walk back to the car. They had been so busy talking they didn't realise how much ground they had covered so it was a much longer walk than they expected. The sun was starting to set adding beautiful pinks and oranges to the sky across the lake. When the car finally came into view they were distracted by the couple they had been following suddenly stopping. As they went to walk around them the man got down on one knee to propose to his blushing girlfriend. They sped up to pass then exchanged a look. "That's cute?" She commented.

"Cute?" He asked carefully.

"Yeah, what?" She questioned clearly not seeing the significance of the admission.

"I thought you were a 'marriage is a waste of time' kind of girl" He explained.

"I am, but its still cute" She replied, now he was even more confused then he had been to begin with. Wondering what exactly that meant for their relationship he was pleased to be distracted after only a few minutes.

"Can we get ice cream?" Kelly asked noticing the ice cream stand just past where they were parked.

"Seriously?" She demanded "of course"

"What flavour are you going to get?" He questioned eagerly joining the line.

"Chocolate" She replied her tone indicating it was a stupid question.

"I might get strawberry, Shay can try some" He said wishing the line would move faster. They finally reached the front and purchased their ice creams.

"This is going to ruin dinner" She said with a laugh.

"That's part of being an adult" He replied handing her Shay so he could eat properly, his incapacity to multitask still amused Erin.

"Exactly" Erin agreed as she let Shay try some of her chocolate ice cream, Shay loved it and was quick to grab hold of the cone for herself.

"We might have to get her one next time" He commented snapping a quick photo on his phone, what could be better than his daughters sticky hands and chocolatey cheeks. As soon as they had finished Erin rushed them back to the car for baby wipes, she was surprisingly good at removing all trace of the frozen treat. They drove back home in silence. Erin pondered what was for dinner while Kelly compared they day they had had to the previous one. He was struck by the realisation that so much could happen in such a short period of time. "I love you" He said breaking the silence as the car stopped in the driveway.

"I love you too" Erin answered straight away looking across at him to make sure he knew she meant it.


	22. Chapter 22

"Erin, I wasn't expecting a call from you. Is everything okay?" Cindy Herrmann asked when she answered the phone.

"Everything is fine. I was just wondering if we'd be able to meet up sometime today, just to talk" Erin answered quickly.

"Saturday's are always really busy, the kids have sports" Cindy explained sounding disappointed. Erin's mind raced as she tried to figure out a solution to their problem. The five Herrmann kids and Shay would make it impossible to have a serious, uninterrupted conversation.

"What if I get Kelly to help wrangle the kids?" Erin asked.

"I guess that could work, he could stay at home with the little ones while Chris takes the boys to soccer" Cindy replied as the idea gained momentum.

"Okay, we can leave in ten minutes. Does that work?" Erin questioned, ten minutes was a little ridiculous, Kelly and Shay were both still in bed. Erin had woken early with one thing on her mind, finding someone trustworthy to look after Shay when she worked.

"Sure, see you soon" Cindy answered, the yelling in the background indicated the need for the conversation to end.

"Bye" Erin said quickly. Now she just needed to get Kelly and Shay out of bed. "We're leaving for the Herrmann's in ten minutes" Erin announced, Kelly looked unimpressed but jumped out of bed and headed for the shower anyway. Taking Shay to her bedroom Erin dressed her comfortably then met with Kelly in the kitchen. She was constantly amazed by how quickly he could eat a bowl of cereal, she had given up on it years ago because it always made her late for work. As soon as Shay's bag was packed with anything she might need she bullied Kelly out the door and they were off.

"So whats going on?" Kelly asked slightly confused as to why he had to be present for the conversation.

"Cindy and I are going to head to a cafe and have coffee while I ask her. You and Chris are going to have to manage all the kids, he's going to take the three older boys to soccer while you stay home with Josie, Kenny and Shay" She explained, hoping he didn't mind being volunteered for child minding.

"Sounds fun" He replied, she couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic so she didn't comment further. They arrived a few minutes later and were quickly ushered into the house. The bigger kids were running around flinging long socks at each other while the little ones were absorbed in Dora the Explorers latest adventure.

"Boys, stop running" Christopher Herrmann yelled as his wife greeted their guests.

"Honey, Kelly's going to watch Josie and Kenny, I'm going out with Erin" Cindy instructed her husband when he finally turned to join the conversation.

"Okay, sure" Chris replied giving his wife a quick kiss on the cheek before heading up the stairs to locate the source of the thumping noise.

"The sooner you go the sooner you'll be back" Kelly said trying to sound wise and comforting, Cindy looked a little anxious to be running off.

"Josie will tell you what DVD she wants next, they're allowed to watch one more before morning tea. Fruit salad is in the green container in the fridge. Call me if you need anything" Cindy said before turning to give Erin a smile.

"Don't let her lose her socks, that's the last matching pair she has" Erin told Kelly as she handed Shay over.

"She still has a matching pair, you're doing well then" Cindy laughed as she followed Erin out the front door. Erin drove them to a small cafe a few streets away, despite its proximity Cindy had never been to it before.

"I'm sorry for interfering with your plans" Erin said as they sat at the only free table near the window.

"Plans, taxiing kids to sports and cheering supportively when they score an own goal? I'd rather talk with you" Cindy replied with a smile.

"That's okay then" Erin laughed, picturing the forced cheers a parent would have to give during sporting attempts.

"So, what's going on? I haven't heard from you in weeks, Chris said Shay was in hospital but since then I haven't heard anything" Cindy said once they'd ordered tea and cake.

"Everything has been so busy. Shay was in hospital overnight, three weeks ago, she's only just finished the antibiotics but she's totally recovered from the chest infection. We had a bit of a drama on Thursday when my mum decided to take Shay from daycare without telling me" Erin said trying to play down the abduction of her daughter.

"That's crazy you must have been really worried" Cindy exclaimed easily putting herself in that position.

"Yeah" Erin admitted softly, really worried didn't cover getting the intelligence unit involved but she didn't really want to mention that.

"Why wouldn't she have told you?" Cindy questioned.

"She knows she's not allowed to see Shay so she lied her way past the staff and took her instead" Erin said honestly.

"You mean she wasn't one of the people you approved to pick Shay up?" Cindy asked starting to look angry.

"No, it's just you, Gabby Dawson, Hank, Kelly and I" Erin answered.

"That's ridiculous" Cindy said shaking her head in disbelief.

"Absolutely, that's why I wanted to talk to you. I don't want her going back to daycare but I want to keep working" Erin said hoping Cindy could see where she was going.

"Oh, I'll look after her, no problem" Cindy volunteered immediately.

"It's two or three days a week, seven until five usually" Erin informed making sure Cindy knew all the details before she agreed to anything.

"That's fine, Josie is at kindy five days a week so it's just Kenny and I at home most days. It'll be nice to have another baby in the house. I promise I'll look after her just like one of my own" Cindy answered quickly.

"Thank you, you really don't have to if you don't want to" Erin checked.

"I want to, seriously I really enjoy it" Cindy assured sounding very pleased with the idea.

"I'll pay you the same rate as the daycare" Erin added after a few moments pause.

"Don't be stupid" Cindy responded, shocking Erin.

"Well I can't expect you to do it for nothing" Erin reasoned.

"Yes you can, that's what friends are for. Plus you and Kelly can look after our lot once every few weeks, that'll make us even" Cindy replied resolutely.

"Really? Are you sure?" Erin asked.

"Certain" Cindy said with a final nod.

"Thank you" Erin said again as she wondered what she had done to deserve such a generous friend. Now that the business part was over Erin was happy to relax, drink her tea, eat her cake and chat about all the weird and wonderful things that parents had to deal with. They returned to the house just over an hour later and were surprised to find Kelly leading the kids on a bear hunt. Kenny toddled along behind Josie while Shay watched on looking thoughtful.

"Did you have fun?" Cindy asked when the excitement of her return had died down.

"Yes, but we have to find teddy" Josie squealed quickly running back to the lounge room to locate her missing toy. Kelly mouthed 'five minutes' at Erin then proceeded to make up obstacles for the kids to pass over on their hunt.

"He's really good with them" Cindy commented as she stood with Erin to watch.

"Yeah, he's naturally great with kids" Erin nodded as he seamlessly talked with Josie while preventing Kenny from colliding with the wall.

"Do you think you'll have another?" Cindy pried with a hopeful smile.

"I've actually been thinking about it, not until Shay's older but I think we might" Erin said wondering if there was a relationship between how long it had been since she was pregnant and her eagerness to do it again.

"Well I think any child would be lucky to have you two as parents" Cindy complimented as Kelly finally finished the game by revealing that the teddy bear had been under a blanket the whole time. He said goodbye and picked up Shay before joining Erin and Cindy.

"Good to go?" He asked.

"Yeah" Erin nodded in response.

"Thank you so much" Cindy said giving Kelly a quick hug. "I guess I'll see you on Tuesday morning" She added as she walked them to the door. They exchanged goodbyes and headed home for a quiet afternoon. They settled in front of the television, watching a children's movie while trying to get Shay to stand unassisted. Shay had started pulling herself up using anything and everything but she couldn't maintain it when she let go. Erin suspected she was simply too fat for her tiny feet to support her. At the same time they questioned if she was even ready for standing and walking since she didn't even crawl reliably.

**Okay so today's update is a little short and kinda boring (just the technical side of things) because I didn't get much time to write (and I've run out of motivation to stay up any later to continue). I'll try and make up for it tomorrow :D **


	23. Chapter 23

**So I promised I'd make up for yesterday and I really tried. I honestly spent most of my day writing this... It took a lot of drafting to get something I am somewhat happy with. You all know I'm not good at the M rated stuff but you all seem to really like it so I gave it my best shot. Enjoy :D **

"I ate way too much" Erin groaned as they walked hand in hand back to the car.

"Well I ate all my desert and finished yours so I ate way, way too much" Kelly replied.

"If you weren't a hot fireman I'd worry about how much you eat" She commented seriously.

"Thanks, I think" He said narrowing his eyes. She simply smiled in return and snatched the car keys from his pocket. Kelly was never allowed to drive but she hated carrying the keys, her dress didn't have pockets and they created a bulge if stored in her clutch. The drive home was quiet, both reflecting on the last few days and the wonderful dinner they had just shared. Jay was quick to leave though he did make sure to brag about how easily he had gotten Shay to sleep. If Kelly didn't have something better in mind he would have watched the last few minutes of the hockey game. Instead he followed Erin upstairs, she stood in front of her dressing table removing the feathery gold earrings she had worn.

"Tonight was fun" She commented making eye contact with him in the mirror.

"Was?" He questioned.

"Is?" She asked trying to hide her smile with a questioning look.

"Yeah" He agreed from close enough behind her that she could feel his breath on her neck. Not taking his eyes from hers he leaned down and placed a light kiss below her ear. She exhaled sharply as he straightened, breathing hot air across her ear. Kelly placed one hand on her stomach, pulling her against him and steadying her at the same time. With the other hand he grabbed the zip of her dress, it refused to move without the tension of another hand. Noticing the problem Erin reached up and held the edges of the fabric taut, the zip to descend in one smooth motion. Kelly's mouth returned to her neck drifting slowly down then across her shoulder as he slid the dress down her arm. As impatient as ever she shrugged the dress off and tried to turn and face him. He gripped her arms and forced her to continue to face the mirror.

"What?" She asked softly watching his eyes scan her body.

"You're so beautiful" He replied, she had to stop herself from snorting.

"Well I think you're pretty gorgeous, I'd rather look at you to be honest" She said as she again tried to turn and face him.

"Later" He whispered huskily as he rested his chin on her shoulder and traced his fingers down the soft skin of her sides. He ran a finger across the bottom of her bra, stopping halfway to feel her racing heartbeat against his hand. She couldn't stop herself from moaning as he ran his tongue up the back of her ear. She opened her eyes seeing herself in the mirror. Frustrated by the way he was holding her such that she couldn't see or kiss him properly she decided to take control. Raising her right foot she slid it back until the heel of her shoe pressed against the top of his bare foot.

"Now" She demanded increasing the pressure to the point where it was sure to leave a mark.

"Okay then" He answered without hesitation, happy to move his foot away from hers. She turned to face him, a wicked grin on her face, once again she had gotten her own way. Kelly didn't know how to feel, he liked to make sure she knew how much she meant to him but she seldom relinquished control for long enough. He didn't have a chance to over analyse the situation though as she pulled him close and kissed him softly. Wondering if this was her way of apologising he decided not to over think things and just go with it. She loved the way his lips and tongue responded to the slightest movements of her own. All of a sudden she became aware that he was still fully dressed, hungry for more she began to get rid of the fabric keeping them apart. She ignored the two buttons that went flying as she tore at his business shirt, he'd only worn it so he didn't look quite so underdressed next to her. Shocked by her unusually rough behaviour he grasped her hands and found that they were shaking.

"Whats wrong?" He asked trying to convey the concern he felt.

"Nothing" She assured brushing off his grip and placing her hands to his chest, from there she tilted her head and kissed him.

"Then why are you shaking?" He demanded taking a step back.

"I'm not, I'm totally fine. Stop worrying, actually just stop thinking so much" She answered.

"Erin, we don't have to do this" Kelly said looking at her with pity.

"Yeah we do, its been weeks" Erin snapped wondering if she would get more pleasure from sex or punching him.

"Who cares?" He asked but she had run out of patience shoving him until he fell onto the bed. She kicked off her shoes then crawled on top of him. Sex, she had calculated, was the safer option and so that's what she set about doing. He made a few attempts to stop her, to slow things down and talk to her but she grabbed his wrists and held them to the bed on either side of his head. She used her mouth solely to keep him quiet. After few minutes she felt him relax so she released his hands and pulled back to look at him. He looked bewildered but that didn't stop her from pulling at his pants and kissing her way down his abdomen. "Erin whats wrong?" He asked unable to let it go.

"Nothing is wrong, though I'm starting to think that sex after that much food isn't the greatest idea" She replied, no reservations in brushing aside the real problem, whatever that might be.

"Erin, please" He pleaded.

"Can we please just have sex?" She questioned in response.

"No, I want to talk" He answered shaking his head.

"Well I want to have sex" She replied loudly before realising Shay was sleeping in the next room. "And if you hadn't noticed, you do too" She added in a deadly whisper as she pressed her leg against his erection. He groaned in response though it was impossible to know what part of the exchange he was objecting to.

"Promise me we'll talk about it after" He said with a frown after a long pause.

"Okay" She agreed flippantly sitting up to remove her bra. Once it was gone she removed his underwear then awkwardly tried to remove her own while still sitting astride him. While he had been still up until that moment with a burst of energy he rolled so that he was above her then pinned her hands either side of her head the same way she had. He proceeded to give in to his primal urges, using her body to relieve his frustrations with complete disregard for anything else. Erin was startled but didn't protest. It was rough and fast, soon they were totally breathless. He collapsed on top of her panting for a few moments before mustering the energy to roll to the side. Neither moved for a very long time, their breathing and heart rates returned to normal but their minds continued to race.

"I'm sorry" He said eventually, barely a whisper in the oppressive silence.

"Don't be" She breathed back.

"Can we talk now?" He questioned.

"I need a shower" She replied pushing herself up onto her elbows. He nodded and watched carefully as she walked to the bathroom. After a few minutes he followed slipping into the shower as she got out. Once dried and dressed in their pyjamas they returned to bed, Erin sitting cross legged at the end while Kelly lounged against the headboard.

"What's going on?" He asked softly.

"I don't know, I'm sorry" She shrugged feeling less like talking as each second passed, she wanted to curl up and sleep but he was determined to extract answers.

"I'm just trying to understand. Did I do something?"

"No. I guess I was just nervous and I don't like looking at myself so I went a little crazy" Erin tried to explain, feeling ridiculously emotional.

"Alright" He nodded. "I think you're the most gorgeous person ever, I love every part of you"

"Well maybe I don't" She responded unable to make eye contact.

"That's normal, I'm sorry" He said tilting his head to the side to look at her properly.

"Stop saying sorry! I'm the one who freaked out over nothing" She grumbled flopping forward onto her pillow.

"You're even pretty when you do that. You might not believe me but I'm going to keep saying it until you do" Kelly replied with determination as he slid down to lie flat. She reached out and flicked the light off. The conversation was over but he still wasn't able to sleep, he reached over and grasped her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. She squeezed back and sighed.

**Yay or nay? I wanted to add another dimension rather than just plain old sex...Thoughts? Next chapter will be Shay centered but I have some more M rated stuff planned after that and would love constructive criticism/tips/advice if you have any. Thanks!**


	24. Chapter 24

Chicago has always been known for it's weather. Usually everyone complained about the cold but for the last week the city had been uncharacteristically hot, breaking the highest temperature records every day. While Erin complained the most about the weather, Kelly was the one who actually had to struggle with it. When he was required to don his protective clothing and run into a burning building while the roads were melting he felt like he'd chosen the wrong career. He was particularly glad to end his shift and head home on Saturday morning. They hadn't made plans for the weekend so he was looking forward to removing as much clothing as was decent and occupying the couch. Blasting the air conditioner in his car he was moderately cool by the time he got home. The trip from the car to the front door had him sweating again. He pulled open the door and what he saw made him feel sick, Erin was laying spread out on the floor in the hallway, seemingly unconscious.

"Erin" He squeaked stepping into the house and dropping his bag.

"What?" She asked as she sat up.

"I thought you were dead, or hurt! What are you doing on the floor?" He questioned while he tried to calm down.

"I'm fine, the floor is just nice and cool" Erin answered standing up, she understood his concern.

"Where's Shay?" He asked.

"Just over there" She answered pointing around the corner into the lounge room. Shay wore only a diaper and singlet, sitting on a blanket happily stacking her blocks. She looked up when her name was called but then returned to adding a fourth block to her unsteady tower. As they watched the tower crumbled, Shay laughed then started stacking again. "She's been doing that for almost an hour" Erin explained.

"And she still laughs? She's more patient than I am" He smiled following Erin into the kitchen.

"I have no idea where she gets it from" She replied, Kelly laughed. It certainly didn't come from Erin either.

"It's so hot" He groaned.

"I've lived in Chicago my entire life so I'm completely unprepared to deal with this weather" Erin agreed.

"Do we have ice cream?" He asked looking hopefully to the freezer.

"We do, or there are fruit juice ice blocks, I bought them for Shay but I think you deserve one too" She offered, one hand on the freezer door, waiting for his response before opening it.

"Sounds great" Kelly answered watching as Erin pulled open the freezer and retrieved two of the frozen treats. She cut the top off one and handed it to him then cut the second one in half. Grabbing the cloth from Shay's highchair as she went she moved to the lounge room. Shay squealed with delight as soon as she saw the ice block.

"Mama icy" Shay demanded.

"Yeah baby, icy" Erin replied handing her one of the halves, she shoved it straight in her mouth and started chewing on it.

"When did she learn icy?" Kelly asked joining Erin on the couch, they sat a comfortable distance apart, it was too hot for physical contact.

"Day before yesterday" She answered. "You really don't miss very much, she's asleep half the time you're at work" Erin assured.

"I don't like missing any of it. If it doesn't cool down I'm quitting my job, fires on days like today are ridiculous. People should just stop setting stuff on fire! It's hot enough already, they don't need to make it hotter. Bloody global warming, we're going to have to move further north. How do you feel about Canada? They still have ice hockey and beer so I'm in" He ranted only stopping when his ice block started to drip.

"The weatherman says this should pass by mid week" She replied having finished her half of the ice block while listening.

"It had better" He grumbled sliding off the couch. Shay used her free hand to crawl towards him and climb into his lap. "Sorry baby" He apologised realising he had worried her.

"Dada icy?" Shay questioned removing her ice block from her mouth and offering it to him.

"I have my own, thank you though" He answered gathering Shay in a hug.

"I can't live like this, we're going to have to go to a pool, the bath tub isn't big enough" Erin said after watching Kelly and Shay for a few minutes. Shay had wriggled out of the hug and crawled to get her blocks, dragging the blanket across the room so they could build together. Kelly loved making Shay laugh when he flipped the blocks and they made animal noises, he favourite was the cow.

"Do you know anyone with a pool?" Kelly asked.

"Antonio has one, I'll call and ask. If not we'll just have to go to a public pool and fight the masses" She resolved standing up to find her phone, she found it and scrolled through her contacts. Pressing dial she waited for Antonio to answer.

"Lindsay? What's up?" Antonio Dawson answered, sounding out of breath.

"Antonio..." She said musically, hoping he was in a good mood.

"Yes you can come and use our pool" He answered immediately.

"I wouldn't ask if we weren't dying" She replied with a laugh.

"It's fine, you aren't the first to call. Gabby and Matt are here, so are the Willhite's" Antonio explained.

"Awesome" Erin said

"Admission costs juice and ice cream" He added.

"Any particular type?" She asked, not wanting to turn up and be denied entry.

"Apple and anything but lots of it!" Antonio said. "See you soon" He said quickly before hanging up.

"Sure, see you soon" Erin mumbled sarcastically placing her phone on the kitchen bench. "I found us a pool!" She announced.

"Great, I'll get Shay ready" Kelly replied lifting his daughter up into the air and zooming through the house with her making plane noises. Erin followed them up the stairs, gathering a bag for towels, sunscreen, diapers and clothes for Shay. She then proceeded to the bedroom and pulled open her drawer of swimwear, there wasn't much to choose from but she settled on a simple black one-piece. Once changed she put on a dress over the top and went to see what all the laughing was about.

"What's going on?" She questioned but quickly spotted the problem.

"I didn't realise the zip went at the back" He said holding up Shay to show her pink and purple swimmers, the ruffle that was meant to be at the back was instead across her front. Erin couldn't help but laugh.

"I'll fix it" She said taking Shay and removing the swimwear to find that he had put the swim diaper on backwards as well. It took a few minutes to sort things out, Shay was excited and squirmy making Erin's job trickier. Kelly returned and they were finally ready to leave.

"Have you got everything?" Kelly questioned when he realised he'd left the important job of packing down to Erin.

"I think so, but we still have to stop by the shops to get apple juice and ice cream" She answered throwing the bag into the backseat while he distracted Shay from her ruffle for long enough to do up her seat belt.

"Why?" He asked sounding slightly confused.

"Admission fee" Erin replied trying to work out which grocery store was closest to Antonio's house. She'd only been to his place twice before and couldn't remember seeing any shops on the way. "Do you want to wait here with the aircon on?" She asked when she finally found a parking space, of course it was about as far from the door as was possible.

"Yeah okay" Kelly agreed, she was only getting two things so it shouldn't take long. He was right, she returned less than five minutes later and handed him the plastic bag containing her purchases.

"Pool time" She enthused, looking forward to a day by the pool.

"Pool Shay" He said wondering how quickly she would pick up the word. Shay remained silent so he looked over his shoulder to see that she had discovered the zip of her swimmers.

"That's Jay's car and Hank's" Erin commented as she led the way up the front path of the Dawson house.

"This should be fun then" Kelly said pressing the doorbell since her hands were full.

"Hello" Eva said as she pulled open the door. "Come on in" She added stepping aside to let them past.

"We brought ice cream and juice as requested" Erin said, gesturing to the bag she had let Kelly carry. They walked through the house, Kelly heading to the kitchen with Eva while Erin took Shay and followed the noise.

"Lindsay!" Jay yelled, the first to spot her.

"Halstead!" Erin called back letting Antonio take Shay while she placed her bag at the end of the table. She quickly greeted Laura and Gabby and waved to Diego, Matt and the Willhite's who were playing soccer on the small patch of grass, if they weren't dripping from the pool she would have questioned their motivation.

"Has Shay been swimming before?" Antonio asked, standing on the step with Shay on his hip.

"No, but she loves bath time so she should be okay" Erin replied looking around again. "Where's Hank?" She questioned, his car was outside but he was nowhere to be seen.

"He went next door to get to the ball back" Antonio answered and no sooner had he said it then Hank appeared with a large pink beach ball in hand. At the same time Eva and Kelly returned with the juice and a stack of cups. The kids spotted the pink ball and quickly abandoned their soccer game, they couldn't help but splash as they started up a game of volleyball in the pool. Erin quickly took Shay from Antonio and moved to the furthest corner so she didn't get splashed.

"I'll hold her if you want to take your dress off" Jay volunteered watching Erin struggle to keep her dress from falling in the pool while playing with Shay.

"Um..." Erin hesitated.

"I won't drop her" He assured, looking confident.

"She's gets pretty slippery when she's wet" She warned.

"If I drop her I'll fish her out" Jay said with a smile holding out his hands for Shay. Erin handed Shay over, pulled off her dress and slid into the water before demanding her baby back. Jay laughed at how protective Erin was but handed Shay over quickly then swam away and joined in the ball game. Erin progressively lowered Shay into the water, starting with just her feet, then her legs and body. They spent the day in and out of the pool, swimming, talking, eating ice cream and laughing. It was rare to spend so much down time together but they were like a family coming together for the holidays. They stayed on for an impromptu barbeque dinner and went home thoroughly exhausted.

**I hope you liked this one. Implausible or not I had fun writing it. What could be better than some of our favourite Chicago Fire and PD characters chilling by the pool all day?**


	25. Chapter 25

With the end of the heatwave life returned to normal, work consuming most of their time. Any and all free time was spent with Shay, she was getting closer to walking every day. Kelly and Erin were concerned they were going to miss this major milestone. It got to the point that Cindy was dropping Shay off at District 21 each afternoon as part of the school run. Typically by this point in the day the intelligence unit would be finishing of their case and starting paperwork. Unfortunately Shay wasn't as easy to manage as she had been as a smaller baby, she could be incredibly loud and required constant entertainment. Shay's favourite game was hiding under desks without their occupant realising. Initially Erin had been worried to give Shay freedom to roam the office space but everyone seemed to keep an eye on her so the risk was acceptably low. Even the unit's newest member Hayden Powell, a computer technician, enjoyed Shay's presence. As a new father himself he had gone to the effort of fitting a pull down blind to their case board. Despite everyone's best efforts Erin still jumped to her feet every time Shay started to cry. Erin was sitting at her desk typing up a recount of their day when Shay screamed. Erin moved so quickly that her computer mouse was left dangling over the edge of her desk.

"I don't know what happened" Atwater said quickly as Antonio, who had been walking past at the time, picked up Shay and handed her to Erin. Shay continued to scream as Erin assessed the cut above her eye, speaking to her soothingly the entire time.

"She was trying to use the drawer to stand up" Antonio explained as he handed Erin some tissues.

"What's going on?" Voight questioned as he exited his office to investigate the cause of the commotion.

"Shay's hurt herself" Erin explained dabbing at the cut while rocking Shay.

"Is she okay?" Voight asked rushing over to see how badly hurt Shay was.

"She'll be fine" She replied, the cut was quite small, running vertically through Shay's eyebrow and only bleeding a little.

"You should still go get her checked out" Voight encouraged, his judgement of the severity of injuries especially clouded when it came to Shay.

"It's nothing, I'll just keep an eye on her" Erin said after assessing her options. A doctor's appointment was out of the question, Shay's paediatrician was the best in the city with a tightly packed schedule. Going to the hospital would be a complete overreaction.

"Really? You set a land speed record getting to her but you aren't going to get her checked out by a doctor?" Halstead interrupted.

"She's fine, kids fall over and hurt themselves all the time" Erin justified, it helped that Shay had stopped crying.

"I can call Gabby" Antonio offered trying to diffuse the tension.

"I'll stop by the firehouse on the way home. If I was worried I wouldn't still be standing here" Erin lied, she had started to question her reaction to the situation. Shay was calm and quiet, the cut had stopped bleeding, and there was really no need for medical intervention. At the same time Erin knew she would feel dreadful if something did come of the accident.

"Okay, get back to work then" Voight said as he watched the battle of looks.

"I'm really sorry Erin" Atwater said trapped at his desk where everyone had crowded around.

"It's not your fault at all" Erin replied patting Atwater's shoulder before heading back over to her desk. Shay was happily snuggled to her mother's chest, sucking on her fist. Erin got on with her report trying to ignore the way Halstead was constantly giving her a disapproving look. She tried to see his reaction as a positive, it meant he cared about Shay, but it was still frustrating seeing as he wasn't a parent. Of course she felt bad, guilty even, Shay wouldn't even be there if she wasn't close to walking. That meant she was going to pull herself up using anything she could reach, Erin should have chosen a safer environment. As she handed in her report and left for the night she was hit by a wave of anxiety. What was Kelly going to say? If not for the tiny part of her that needed to be sure Shay was alright, Erin probably wouldn't have stopped by the firehouse. "I'm sorry baby" Erin told Shay as she smoothed her eyebrow a little to minimise the appearance of the cut. Taking a deep breath she walked into the firehouse, she wanted to talk to Kelly before finding Gabby so she headed straight for the squad table.

"Heads up! Ladies incoming" Cruz called as soon as Erin entered the building, she thought it was highly suspicious but knew it wasn't her priority. As she neared the table the cards were scooped off into a fire helmet and hidden under a chair.

"What's up?" Kelly asked jumping out of his seat to welcome his family.

"I'm here to see Gabby but figured I'd fill you in first. Shay had a little bit of an accident and cut her eyebrow" Erin said knowing that if she didn't get it out straight away she wouldn't avoid bringing it up at all.

"Oh baby" Kelly said, leaning down to kiss Shay. "She looks fine, and it's not your fault" He assured before kissing Erin's forehead as well.

"You weren't even there! But thank you" She replied with a nod.

"Dawson was in the kitchen last I saw, when you're done with her we need to talk" Kelly said

"Okay" Erin said hesitantly, 'we need to talk' was rarely followed by a positive.

"It's nothing bad" He laughed watching her carefully.

"Okay" She said with a shrug as she walked off. Gabby was lounging on the couch with Mouch and Pouch watching the news intently. As soon as she saw Erin and Shay she got up.

"God I need baby cuddles" Gabby groaned, she hadn't had a very good day.

"She's not really feeling up to it at the moment, she had a bit of an accident" Erin explained quickly before adjusting the way she was holding Shay so that the cut was visible.

"Poor thing" Gabby said having a closer look. "It really isn't anything to be worried about, it's closed up nicely and as long as she's behaving normally you don't need to be concerned."

"She's a little clingy" Erin added making sure Gabby had all the information she needed for a proper assessment.

"Probably scared herself" Gabby reasoned giving Shay's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you" Erin said, normally she would stay and chat but Kelly's request was on her mind.

"No problem" Gabby said before making her way back to the couch. Erin headed straight back to the squad table, this time they weren't quick enough to clear away their cards.

"Nice" Erin commented noticing the scarcely clothed model on the back of the cards.

"They were a gift" Kelly defended quickly.

"I honestly don't care" She laughed.

"Right, let's go" He said throwing in his cards then leading her outside. They stood in the cool breeze for a few moments, Erin waiting expectantly while Kelly tried to organise his thoughts and phrase things properly. "So you've seen the news yeah?" He questioned.

"I have but you might need to be more specific" Erin answered wondering if she'd missed something.

"The bushfires in Colorado are really bad, they're losing entire towns. The fire department are asking for volunteer teams. I talked to my guys and we voted that we'd put our names down. Nothing has happened yet but I just wanted you to know. I would have discussed it with you first but it was an all or none situation with my squad" Kelly explained with a frown, it had sounded better in his head.

"That's fine, it's your job. I'd feel bad knowing you turned down the opportunity to help people just to hang around with Shay and I. We'd manage without you. Of course I'd rather not have to but… basically what I'm saying is that it's fine!"

"Nothing's official but we'll know more pretty soon" He said reaching across to rub Shay's back, she was slowly drifting to sleep.

"How long would you have to go for?" She asked starting to wonder what she'd agreed to. Having seen the news footage showing the destruction, the scale of the situation was unfathomable. It wouldn't be an easy fire to extinguish.

"I don't know at this point, no less than a week" Kelly answered tentatively.

"No point stressing until we know more. I'm going to head home and get Shay to bed" Erin resolved.

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning" Kelly agreed pulling them both into a quick hug.

"I'll text when she's asleep" Erin assured as she turned to walk away. Kelly watched them drive away then headed back inside.

**Hello! I'm not really sure what the procedure is for bushfires in America but here in Australia we send teams interstate all the time for big fires (which are unfortunately very common – we've had two major bushfires burning most of this week). I picked Colorado because when I googled 'American bushfires' it was the first state to come up, highly creative of me). I look forward to seeing you all again tomorrow :D**


	26. Chapter 26

"Erin?" Kelly called when he arrived home the next morning, the house was quiet so he headed straight upstairs. The last thing he expected to see was Erin still asleep in bed. If he didn't wake her she would be late for work. He watched her for a moment then crossed the room and sat on the bed. Leaning across he pressed his lips to hers then sat back as she started to stir. She opened her eyes, scanned the room then closed them again. "You have to get up, it's six thirty" He said before she could get back to sleep.

"What?" She asked sitting quickly. "My alarm didn't go off" She added as she turned to check her phone, she'd been so preoccupied that she hadn't remembered to plug it in to charge.

"You still have plenty of time to get ready" He replied, surely she could get ready in half an hour.

"No I don't, feeding Shay takes at least twenty minutes" Erin complained getting up and pulling her hair up.

"So don't, you've been talking about stopping for a while" Kelly suggested, he knew he should have kept quiet

"I can't just stop, forget I said anything" She said exasperatedly before leaving him sitting alone in the bedroom. He got up and headed down stairs, making breakfast would be helpful. The truth was he needed to tell Erin he'd heard back from the department, he didn't want to bring it up while she was in a bad mood though. Erin rushed down the stairs fifteen minutes later and handed Shay to Kelly. "Thank you" She managed through a mouthful of toast.

"Do you have five minutes to talk?" He questioned, Erin nodded. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning for ten days in Colorado."

"Oh" She replied unable to stop herself from conveying the sadness she felt, ten days was a long time.

"It's not as long as you think. I'll be back before you miss me" He assured.

"I doubt that. I'll see if I can get this afternoon off, or tomorrow morning" She proposed.

"Alright" He nodded knowing he would be so focused on working he wouldn't have a chance to miss them too much. Erin would no doubt distract herself with work as well. It was Shay he was most worried about leaving, ten days was a long time for her. By the time he returned she would be saying new words and would most likely have taken her first steps. He was reassured by the fact that he had all day with Shay.

"I really have to get going. I'll call at lunchtime to let you know what's happening" Erin said before finishing the remainder of her breakfast.

"We'll be fine!" He called after her as she dashed up the stairs. She took the quickest shower she'd had in years, threw on some clothes then stuffed her pockets with everything she would need.

"Love you both, have fun" She said as she stopped to in the lounge room doorway.

"Love you too. Have a great day and stay safe" Kelly replied as he encouraged Shay to wave. Erin drove in her usual reckless fashion and managed to halve the normally ten minute journey.

"You're late" Halstead teased as she tossed her jacket over the back of her chair.

"Well I'm here now, what's going on?" She asked taking a seat and logging into her computer.

"Nothing much, still keeping an eye out for Jerry Dunn, looking into his connection with the stash of guns and money we found the other day. Olinsky took Ruzek and Atwater to teach them how to fish for a new CI" Halstead informed.

"Got it" Lindsay replied turning her attention to the dozen unread emails that had accumulated overnight. She sorted through the emails then turned her attention to the case at hand. Earlier in the week they had discovered a substantial haul of illegal guns and counterfeit money. All evidence indicated Dunn was planning something big, only they had no idea what it could be. Dunn wasn't the smartest criminal and predicting his next move was particularly complicated. Erin was so caught up she almost forgot to talk to Voight, it was only when the bush fires were mentioned that she recalled. "Are you busy?" She asked as she knocked on the doorframe of Voight's office.

"No, come in. What's up" He questioned immediately.

"I just wanted to see if I could get this afternoon off, or tomorrow morning even. Kelly's flying out to Denver tomorrow to help with the fire. I know I don't have any leave left but I'm sure you can do without me for a few hours"

"You know I don't care about all that paperwork, take this afternoon and tomorrow. A quiet day home with Shay once Kelly's left is probably a good idea. If Dunn makes his move I'll be calling everyone in, weekend or not. It might be the last day off you get in a while." Voight explained. He wanted a fully focused and functioning team, if that meant giving her a day off it was worth it.

"We've just spotted Dunn's car heading south along Mitchell Parade, want us to follow him?" Antonio interrupted with a sharp knock on the door.

"Let's get moving then" Voight announced. "South on Mitchell could be taking him to Arthur Harvey's house, Lindsay and Halstead get there before him. Antonio and I will try and follow him."

"Can I drive?" Halstead asked hopefully as he followed Lindsay out to the parking lot.

"No" She replied with a shake of her head, they'd been working together for a couple of years yet he still asked the same question and received the same response. It wasn't far to Harvey's house so they parked across the street and settled in to keep an eye out for Dunn. Harvey had Dunn always worked together but rarely met face to face. Dunn paying a visit to his old accomplice was a long shot but they'd run out of other leads.

"So how's life?" Halstead questioned.

"Fine" Lindsay replied as she stuffed her phone back in her pocket having texted Kelly.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday, I've just never heard Shay scream like that" He apologised after a few minutes of silence.

"It's fine" She was quick to respond.

"So what's the problem then?" He asked.

"Problem? There is no problem" Lindsay answered trying to remain focused on Harvey's house.

"Sure" Halstead replied, clearly not believing her.

"Seriously" She insisted.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me stuff, it's not as if I'm your partner or anything" He said trying to motivate her to share.

"Jay, if I had a problem you could fix I would tell you. There is no problem" Lindsay answered honestly.

"Whatever" He said turning to face Harvey's house.

"Kelly's going to Colorado for ten days. It's not a problem though, it's his job" She said quickly.

"Still, what are you going to do with Shay?" Halstead wondered aloud.

"I'll have to talk to Cindy, hopefully it won't be a major issue for her to have Shay all week" Lindsay replied though she hadn't put any thought into a backup plan.

"Well I'm happy to take her for an afternoon whenever you need" He said supportively.

"Thanks" She acknowledged as she shifted in her seat to use the side mirror to keep an eye further up the street.

"It's my job as her godparent and your partner" He reminded.

"Is that Dunn's car?" Lindsay questioned suddenly as a dark blue vehicle of the same make and model turned down the road.

"Maybe" Halstead replied wanting to match the plates before they made a move.

"Can't be, it has those stupid family stickers on the back" Lindsay declared the moment the car passed them.

"Yeah the plates don't match" He confirmed. They returned to watching, talking occasionally but mostly focusing on the plain white house. After almost an hour they received a call from Voight telling them to head back to the district, Dunn had continued to drive across the city. He'd stopped at a library and returned a book then made his way home. Unfortunately they couldn't arrest him for failing to pay his library fines. All they could do was watch him drive away and hope that when he did eventually act they'd be there to catch him.

"You can go now" Voight told Erin as soon as she got to the top of the stairs.

"Okay, thanks" She replied before gathering her things and saying goodbye to the rest of the team.

"This isn't fair, you get so many days off" Ruzek complained. Erin didn't bother to reply instead making her way down the stairs. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of a quiet afternoon at home with Shay and Kelly.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sergeant Platt demanded.

"Home" Erin answered simply.

"Why? You have negative leave you realise" Platt questioned.

"Yeah but most of that's because of Shay" She explained.

"I don't actually care, I think it's pretty cool that you balance work and family so well" Platt said with a small smile. Erin opened her mouth to speak but then thought better of it, conversations with Platt rarely made sense.

"Bye" Erin mumbled as she turned and left the building, she was wasting precious time with her family. She couldn't repeat her rapid morning commute and sat in traffic impatiently tapping the steering wheel. When she did finally make it home she was surprised to smell something cooking. "What are you up to?" She questioned as she made her way into the kitchen.

"Making biscuits" Kelly explained.

"Okay" She nodded rounding the bench to inspect his progress. The finished batch looked and smelled good and the ones about to go in the oven were cute animal shapes.

"I was bored and Shay seems to like cooking" He said gesturing to Shay who was sitting on the floor playing with a bowl and spoon. Erin took a biscuit from the cooling rack and took a bite. "That'll be hot" He warned.

"Still good though" She replied through a mouthful of biscuit.

"Are they?" Kelly asked sounding pleased with himself.

"Yeah, haven't you tried one?" Erin questioned before holding out the biscuit for him as he slid the second tray into the oven.

"That is good" He commented.

"Surprised?" She questioned.

"A little, but I followed the recipe exactly so I shouldn't have been" Kelly answered. "How was your day anyway?"

"Pretty good, didn't do much really. You?" Erin said as she picked up Shay to say hello.

"She is so close to walking, she was about to take a step when she fell over this afternoon" He said excitedly.

"Really?" Erin asked knowing that Shay would no doubt start walking the moment Kelly's plane took off.

"Yeah, we'll show Mummy" He replied taking Shay and heading to the lounge room. He placed her down, helped her stand and then let go of her. Shay wobbled a little then gained confidence, she shifted her weight to lift one foot and fell. Kelly caught her and stood her up again.

"Come on baby, you can do it" Erin encouraged crouching across from the pair.

"Ma!" Shay answered as she fell again.

"She's so close" Kelly said, sounding a little frustrated as Shay fell over a third time.

"All she needs is the energy boost of a biscuit and she'll be ready" Erin suggested.

"I hope so, I really don't want to miss it" He said softly.

"You won't, if you aren't here I'll record it on my phone" She assured knowing it was hard enough for him to have agreed to go without the added guilt about missing Shay's first steps.

"Promise?" He asked.

"I promise" She nodded, adding a quick kiss for good measure.

"Let's have some biscuits then" Kelly said as he stood up, taking Shay with him.

"Yum" Shay declared pre-emptively.

"I agree baby, they are yum" Erin smiled. Once the oven was off and the second batch had joined the first to cool they took a few biscuits to the table. They were glad for the high chair when Shay decided to crush her biscuit before eating it, the crumbs mostly caught by the tray. "You can cook any time you want."

"It was actually quite fun" He replied watching as Shay picked up a handful of crumbs and shoved them messily into her mouth.

"Did you get any packing done?" She asked.

"No, I'll do it tonight" He answered, every time he remembered the trip he felt even worse. After their snack they took a walk to the playground and did everything they could think of to motivate Shay to walk. They headed home, each holding one of Shay's hands as she toddled along between them. Erin suggested they let go and see what happened but Kelly didn't want to force it. "She'll do it when she's ready" was his response.

"What do you want for dinner?" Erin asked when they arrived home, she had plenty of time to cook anything he wanted.

"I don't know, whatever" He shrugged.

"Well I'll make some 'whatever' while you go and start packing" She responded.

"Fine" He grumbled. Erin looked to the fridge for inspiration and was soon cooking away while Shay demonstrated her percussive abilities with her bowl and spoon. She called out when dinner was ready and he returned, she had no way of knowing he'd spent the entire time sitting on the end of their bed trying to work out an excuse for his squad. They ate in silence, wanting to make the most of the time they had left together but consumed by their thoughts. After dinner they got Shay to bed then retreated to their room. Erin wasn't pleased to see Kelly hadn't made a start on packing but with her help it didn't take long to get it finished.

"What time does your flight leave?" She asked.

"Ten" He replied, placing his suitcase by the door.

"Plenty of time" She said stepping towards him and wrapping her arms around him.

"I don't want to go" He said holding her tightly.

"Yes you do, you just don't want to leave" Erin replied with a forced laugh. He sighed deeply and stepped back holding her at arms length while taking in every detail of her face.

"I'm going to miss you" Kelly said before kissing her softly.

"I'm going to miss you too, it's ten days. We can do it" She said with a determined look. "You'll have to call me twice a day so I know you're okay. If you don't call or answer I'll get on a plane and come find you."

"Alright" He agreed. They climbed into bed and settled in each others arms. They talked until they ran out of things to say then finally went to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Erin and Kelly had both anticipated a sleep in but when their neighbour started his lawnmower at daybreak their plans changed.

"Didn't he do that last weekend?" Kelly demanded as he rolled to face Erin.

"He did" Erin confirmed. Neither had had enough sleep but the lawnmower was too loud to even attempt to get back to sleep.

"Shh…listen" He murmured pressing his finger to his lips for silence. Erin froze, waiting to hear something unusual.

"What?" She mouthed after almost a minute of silence.

"Shay must still be asleep" He answered with a grin she instantly recognised.

"I doubt it, she's probably just entertaining herself" She said

"That's just as good" Kelly replied shifting until he was leaning across Erin's body, so close their mouths were almost touching.

"Good point" She whispered before pulling his mouth to her own. As they kissed Kelly wondered how he was going to survive ten days without her. He resolved that this was his chance to make up for the time they'd be spending apart. Erin was just as eager, delighting in every subtle movement of his lips and tongue. When they finally pulled apart neither could hide their smiles. She kissed him again, biting at his bottom lip as she pushed him until he lay flat. He held her waist firmly, keeping their bodies pressed together. She worked her hands up under his singlet loving the way his muscles tensed under her touch. He groaned softly as she shifted her attention to kissing along his jaw, his stubble rough against her lips. Seeking her lips he followed her into a sitting position finally allowing her to remove his singlet. He pulled off her clothes then awkwardly shuffled out of his pants. Erin couldn't help but laugh. Kelly loved the sound of her laughter but preferred the pressure of her mouth pressed to his so he slid his hand up her back, losing his fingers in her hair in the process of kissing her. The carefully choreographed dance of their tongues something he could never get enough of. It was second only to the pleasure of finally burying himself inside her, her internal muscles instantly responding. She couldn't hold back a moan as she repositioned herself to meet each of his thrusts. Shay's cries would have ruined the moment had they not already been to far gone to care. By they time they regained control of their bodies she'd settled herself giving them time to catch their breath.

"It's going to be the longest ten days of my life" He muttered.

"Positive attitude" She scolded before distracting him with a series of light kisses across his chest.

"I'm trying, you're making it too hard" He groaned, her reaction was to give him a final kiss then disappear into the bathroom. Having showered and dressed they collected Shay from her crib and went downstairs for breakfast together. After a game of hide and seek in the lounge room and a conversation filled with long, heavy pauses Kelly headed upstairs to check he had anything packed and ready. Erin rattled of a list of things he couldn't possibly go without, then checked his bag and was finally satisfied he had his phone charger.

"Time to get to the airport then" She said holding open the baby gate so he could get his suitcase down the stairs.

"I guess its too late to get out of it" He grumbled wondering why he had ever even considered it in the first place.

"Absolutely, you're getting on that plane if I have to carry you" Erin replied sounding much more resolute than she felt.

"I don't think you could carry me, but I have a feeling that I'd better not push it" He said wisely.

"Good idea" She nodded. "You've got everything, I've got Shay and the keys" Erin added as she followed him out the front door.

"If it isn't packed I can either buy it or go without" He assured as he packed the car.

* * *

><p>"Don't expect me to cry" Erin warned as she pulled his suitcase up the curb and onto the footpath. They'd been lucky enough to find a two hour parking space within walking distance of the airport entrance.<p>

"I don't" He replied with a smile as he followed her lead, across the taxi lane and into the airport. Shay squirmed in his arms, demanding to be put down, he improved his grip and followed Erin into the line. They checked his luggage then proceeded to security. Erin took Shay to give Kelly a chance to empty his carry-on bag into the tray. They made it through the metal detector with little fuss and after a random explosives swab of Kelly's bag they were free to roam the airport. The flight didn't leave for another forty-five minutes so they found the correct boarding gate and got comfortable. After a few minutes of simply staring at each other they turned their attention to entertaining Shay. Moving to the large glass window they pointed out the variety of colourful planes to Shay. She didn't seem to care about them very much but her reflection in the glass provided ample amusement. Returning to their seats they spotted the rest of Kelly's squad a few rows away, he waved then turned focused on his family again.

"Not long now" Erin said looking at her phone.

"I know" He nodded looking as if he lacked the motivation to ever move again.

"Dada" Shay added as she used the empty seat between her parents to pull herself up. Kelly reached out and picked her up, giving her a hug as she tugged on his ear.

"We'll be fine, you need to take care of yourself not worry about us" Erin said firmly.

"I'll be careful. I'm always careful these days, I have way too much to lose" He assured as he helped Shay stand on his lap.

"That's a bit mushy, Mr Macho Fireman" She said watching as he kissed each of Shay's little fingers.

"It's fine as long as they don't see" He replied gesturing over his shoulder to the rest of his team, she turned to see them deep in conversation.

"I'm pretty sure they're busy thinking about their own families" Erin answered, the time away was going to be equally difficult for everyone, at least they'd have each other's backs.

"I expect photos of Shay daily, especially if she does something really cute, or has food on her face" He requested.

"Of course, in return I need regular communication" She reminded.

"I promise" He said as the first boarding call for his flight started over the loudspeaker system. Erin felt completely pathetic, rationally she knew he was only going for ten days but emotionally she never wanted to be apart. "If you cry I'll have to cry" He said using a finger to lift her chin and force her to look at him.

"I said I wouldn't and I won't" She assured building up her tough exterior.

"Sooner I go the sooner I get back" Kelly said as he stood, gathering his carry-on bag before lifting Shay. "You be good for Mummy. I love you so much and I'm going to miss you but I'll be back soon" He said to Shay.

"Yes" Shay replied though he didn't know how much she understood.

"Good girl" He added before kissing Shay's head and handing her to Erin. He then wrapped his arms around them both, the hug surpassed the duration of a normal hug but they didn't want to have to let go. "I love you so much, I'll be home as soon as I can" He assured Erin as he breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

"I love you too" Erin nodded as he finally released her. Ignoring the tears that threatened to fall she gave him a quick kiss then pushed him towards the line. He stumbled backwards then straightened himself, turned and walked away. He joined his squad in the line then looked over his shoulder to watch Erin bouncing Shay on her hip.

"Dada" Shay practically yelled as she twisted in her mother's arms.

"It's okay baby, he'll be back soon" Erin soothed despite the fact that she was fighting her own desire to run over and hug him one last time. Kelly lost track of the conversation as he watched Erin struggling to restrain Shay.

"She'll be fine" Newhouse assured, he too was leaving his daughter.

"Yeah I know" Kelly said as he cleared his throat.

"Shay please" Erin pleaded, worried that she'd drop her if she continued to writhe.

"Dada" Shay screamed. Erin wanted to disappear, not only did she feel like her heart was actually breaking but people were starting to stare as well.

"Shay, stop" Erin said firmly but Shay did the complete opposite and Erin was forced to put her down. Shay settled momentarily as she stood up. Kelly had reached the front of the line and was handing his ticket to the attendant when he turned to get one last look at Erin and Shay. Shay waved both her arms so he waved back, loving the big smile on her face when he did so. Erin was so preoccupied trying not to cry as she watched Kelly that she barely noticed Shay starting to move. Shay was more determined than ever, she knew what she wanted and all she had to do was put one foot in front of the other to get it. Kelly watched as Shay ignored the idea of a few practice steps and continued to walk towards him. He started to make his way through the crowd desperate to give Shay a celebratory hug. It wasn't easy to fight his way through the line of fellow travellers, he felt like a fish swimming against the current. Erin followed along behind Shay, not wanting to interfere or put her off.

"UP!" Shay demanded when she finally reached him.

"Come here baby" Kelly answered as he lifted her into the air, he peppered her face with kisses and hugged her tightly. "I have to go now, but thank you" He said after a few moments.

"Now I don't have to worry about not having my phone at the ready" Erin commented as he handed Shay over.

"No but you do have to worry about her escaping" He joked.

"You're going to miss it if you don't go" She said with a look of alarm as she realised everyone else had already boarded.

"I love you both" He reaffirmed before kissing them both and and running to get on the plane.

"That was pretty cool Shay" Erin said as she caught Shay's eye.

"Dada?" Shay questioned, now unable to see him.

"Dada goes bye" She explained moving to the window to watch as the plan taxied down the runway and disappeared out of sight. They watched for a few more minutes then turned and headed back to the car. Erin had secured Shay and climbed into the drivers seat before reality finally hit her and she could no longer hold in the tears. She was alone with Shay and would be for ten long days. Erin barely noticed when her phone started ringing but she retrieved it and answered automatically.

"Erin, any chance you're still at the airport?" Voight questioned urgently.

"Yeah, why?" She asked.

"We've just found some bodies and Powell has Dunn's car headed in your direction we think he's trying to run. You need to stop him from boarding a plane" Voight explained.

"What? How? I have Shay" Erin said already knowing her presence was useless if she had to take Shay.

"Just get to the security office and get them to keep an eye out for him" He instructed.

"I'll try" She agreed already unclipping her seatbelt. Getting into the security office turned out to be the major challenge, she had her ID card but no badge. It wasn't until she had Voight confirm her identity over the phone that she was finally allowed in. She passed around her phone with a photo of Jerry Dunn then stood in front of the bank of screens playing live security camera footage waiting for him to arrive. The moment he did she had some uniforms and two airport security guys stop him. They escorted him to a customs interview room then waited for the intelligence unit to arrive.

"You okay?" was Halsteads first question when he saw his partner.

"I'm fine" She replied wondering if it was that obvious she'd been crying. He stood with her to wait while Voight and Olinsky did some preliminary questioning.

"Thank you. I'm sorry to mess up your day" Voight said when he returned from the interview room a little while later.

"You going to take him back and get a confession?" She questioned with a nod in Dunn's direction.

"If I'm lucky, we have enough DNA to put him away so a confession isn't necessary. Enough about work, you should go" He explained before realising what she was doing, trying to distract herself with the case.

"Can Shay show you something first?" Erin asked.

"Of course, what's she doing now?" He asked as Erin lowered Shay to the ground and stood her up. It took a lot of encouragement but eventually Shay connected walking and celebration. Once she'd demonstrated her abilities for the entire unit Erin wished them luck and made her way back to the car. Shay was asleep by the time they got home so Erin settled into bed to read while Shay slept peacefully beside her.

**You didn't really think I'd let Kelly leave without a little loving did you?! I mightn't be the best at writing it but I'm trying really hard to improve. This probably sounds ridiculous but I sat there crying as I wrote the boarding scene... Anyway I hope you enjoyed this and I'll see you again tomorrow :D **


	28. Chapter 28

It was the small things that got to Erin most. The absence of Kelly's toothbrush in the bathroom, the way the lid on the milk wasn't screwed on crooked, the remote on the coffee table instead of between the couch cushions, all things Erin had become accustomed to. His plane wouldn't have even have landed yet and she was already finding it hard to live without him. Shay woke up from her nap in a great mood, ready to refine her new ability to walk and cheer up her mother. Erin was getting ready to take Shay to the park when she remembered that she really ought to contact Cindy. Putting off their walk she packed some of Kelly's biscuits and made the short trip over to the Herrmann's house.

"ERIN!" Josie yelled when she pulled open the door.

"Hey Josie, is your mummy home?" Erin enquired as she followed Josie into the house.

"She's in the kitchen!" Josie answered before running off to wrestle her princess doll from her little brother.

"Erin, I thought I heard someone knocking" Cindy said as she shook her head and continued kneading dough on the bench.

"Josie let me in" Erin explained placing the container of biscuits on the bench before lowering Shay to the ground.

"She invited the postman in the other day too" Cindy said with a laugh.

"Well that's nice of her" Erin replied watching as Cindy divided the dough into portions.

"It was interesting. Anyway, what's going on?" Cindy questioned looking from the container of biscuits to Erin.

"Well I need to talk to you about this week and I thought it might help if I bribed you with biscuits" Erin answered honestly.

"Chris mentioned that the squad were flying out, everyone's pulling extra shifts to cover them. Including me! Not that a day with Shay is anything like a shift" Cindy assured.

"Are you sure? It's not as if you don't already have your hands full" Erin asked knowing biscuits weren't particularly helpful.

"I'm certain, it's the least I can do when you're off keeping us all safe" Cindy answered ignoring Erin's protesting shrug.

"Well we don't have a case at the moment so unless something big comes in I should be done by three" Erin said, deflecting the attention away from herself.

"Dropping her off at the district saves you the trip, and we're already driving past so it's no issue. It'll just be five days instead of three, too easy" Cindy said.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you, she started walking this morning" Erin announced when she realised she'd skipped the most important news.

"Really? Gosh she's getting so big" Cindy replied as she washed her hands.

"Shay, do you want to show Cindy you can walk?" Erin asked, Shay had been playing with Erin's shoe laces but at the mention of her name she looked up and smiled. Erin lifted her onto her feet and Cindy rounded the kitchen bench to get a better view. With a confident smile Shay took a few steps using her arms like a tightrope walker to balance. As soon as she received the praise she desired she sat down and crawled to the toy car she had spotted on the floor.

"That's great, makes life more interesting though" Cindy laughed remembering each one of her children's first steps. "Oh, did Kelly get to see it?" She asked with a gasp.

"Yeah" Erin mumbled thinking back to the precious moment in the airport.

"I'm sorry, it must be hard without him. How long is he gone?" Cindy asked hoping to remind Erin that he'd be back soon enough.

"Ten days" Erin answered.

"Well with all the relief crews flying in it could be sooner, from what I've seen on the news it doesn't look like there's much left to burn" Cindy said as she gave Erin a supportive pat on the shoulder.

"Yeah, maybe" Erin nodded, she knew Cindy was trying to help.

"You've got a three day weekend, what are you going to do?"

"I don't have anything planned but I'm sure I'll find something to do around the house"

"Okay, I've got to get going but feel free to drop around if you're feeling lonely" Cindy said putting the dough in the fridge then moving through to the lounge room to sort out Kenny and Josie.

"Of course, thanks" Erin said as she collected Shay then started making her way to the front door.

* * *

><p>Every second on the plane meant he was getting further and further from Erin and Shay. Trying desperately to take his mind off his family he tried to join in the card game the rest of the squad were playing, spread across three rows of seats it was particularly difficult to keep track.<p>

"Severide, your turn again" Newhouse said as he gave Kelly a shove.

"Right, sorry" Kelly said snapping back into reality. He managed to finish the game then shoved on some headphones and lay back for a while. The in-flight entertainment system was playing a comedy Kelly had seen before, it was better than dwelling on how much he wanted to turn the plane around.

"Is there anything I can get you?" The flight attendant asked as she approached, making eye contact with Kelly alone.

"Uh, no thanks" He replied taking off the headphones.

"Are you sure? The Pilot says we're supposed to give you guys anything you want" She said as she leaned further forward, guaranteeing him a good view of her cleavage. With a highly suggestive smile she lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Certain" He snapped, she recoiled hastily with a disapproving look then rushed off down the aisle.

"Rude" Newhouse said, punctuating it with his elbow.

"Well she wasn't just offering peanuts and I'm not interested" Kelly defended.

"You don't say!" Newhouse replied.

"Shut up" Kelly groaned.

"Look none of us want to be here" Newhouse reminded.

"What's the problem? You wanna swap seats so she asks you next time?" Kelly demanded though he knew it was a low blow.

"No, just be nice. She has no way of knowing you've got a family" Newhouse said before putting his own headphones on and ignoring the look Kelly gave him. Thankfully it wasn't long before the plane landed and they bustled through the airport. Once they'd collected their luggage they piled into a minivan for the two hour drive to the nearest fire command outpost. Again the squad guys started up a game of cards, this time Kelly sat out, using calling Erin as an excuse. Though they both desperately wanted to stay on the phone forever they kept it brief agreeing to speak again soon. Kelly relaxed and looked out the window.

"Hey Severide you planning on proposing anytime soon?" Capp asked all of a sudden.

"What?" He asked, he hadn't been following the conversation so the mention of his name followed by such a presumptuous question shocked him.

"I just need to know how much I can afford to lose in this" Capp answered.

"Are you guys betting on me marrying Erin?" He questioned still not sure he was following.

"Yeah we've been betting on when you'll propose, I have to say this trip is conveniently timed" Capp said with a smile.

"Really, when have you bet?" Kelly asked.

"I'm not that stupid" Capp laughed.

"Seriously though you're wasting your money she'd never agree" Kelly affirmed.

"Or you're just too scared to ask" Newhouse suggested.

"There would be no point in asking, she wouldn't say yes. Anyway who are you to talk?" Kelly said firmly hoping it was the end of the conversation. The fact that he was their superior didn't seem to stop them from speaking their minds, usually he liked the way rank was irrelevant.

"That is the point though, you don't know for sure until you ask. Women love that" Their driver added.

"He's right man" Newhouse agreed.

"Just get on with playing and leave me and Erin out of it" Kelly said before turning to look out the window. Kelly suddenly had a lot to think about.

* * *

><p>The weekend was over in no time. Kelly got stuck into work, as long as the sun was up he was out trying to contain the blaze. Erin on the other hand quickly ran out of things to do around the house and resorted to binge watching a crime drama. They spoke as often as his work permitted. Shay had started calling the phone Dada and got excited whenever it rang. Erin had started to realise that she was wasting perfectly good time with Shay but lacked the motivation to do much more than join in her stacking and sorting game. Returning to work was a welcome relief. The unit didn't get a case until Wednesday but filled their free time by pitching in on a series of narcotics raids. Voight was particularly lenient and made sure Erin was always free to go as soon as Shay was dropped off. Erin formulated an afternoon routine with Shay that involved stopping by a local park to feed the ducks. Shay's feeding strategy was to simply throw bread at anything that moved, thankfully the ducks were used to it. Shay would then sleep in the car on the way home ready to play for the rest of the afternoon. Erin had discovered Shay's love for puzzles so they worked together to order the large colourful pieces then take them apart in half the time. When they'd exhausted their supply of puzzles they would prepare dinner, wait for Kelly to call then after speaking to her dad Shay would have her bath and go to bed. Erin would settle in to bed and prepare to do it all again the next day.<p>

**Just a little calm before the storm, thanks for reading - tomorrow will be better I promise, I ran out of time today :/**

**I just need to give you a little heads up that not only do I have an assignment due soon but I will also be going away on holidays for a week (starting the 19th). I will hopefully have plenty of time to write but I'm not sure if I'll have a reliable internet connection - I'll do my best but you'll just have to be patient :D**


	29. Chapter 29

Kelly quickly realised how good his job as a city firefighter was. In rural Colorado he faced the added pressure of attempting to save livestock. Having completely lost track of days all he could do was focus on saving the property. Trudging through a field of crunchy, dry grass he came to the conclusion it wouldn't be an easy task. The squad had just acquired a tractor from the farmer, assured him they would do everything they could then watched as he drove away with his wife, kids and as many possessions as would fit in the car. It had been heartbreaking to think that not only did they have nowhere to go but also that it was likely they would never see their home again. Kelly had known that all the buildings they had tried to save over the last week meant something to someone but seeing it first-hand increased his determination tenfold. Unfortunately of all the jobs they had been to this house was possibly in the worst position. The house and a number of outbuildings sat in the valley between two hills, the surrounding pasture used to raise cattle, all incredibly dry and highly flammable. The fire was approaching from the south, over the hill to the left of the house. Squad three were about halfway up the hill, where it levelled out a little and a dam had been dug. Using the digger attachment of the tractor and shovels they were able to dig a substantial fire break. As they worked the smoke in the air thickened and eventually the glow of the coming fire could be seen over the crest of the hill. On their way back down to the homestead they did their best to heard the cattle into the yard nearest the house, the animals wild with fright.

"Get on the radio and see what's going on with the wind" Kelly instructed as they took a quick break to rehydrate. They got straight back to work attaching pumps and hoses to the various rainwater tanks scattered across the property. They had already back-burned a section on the other side of the hill but by the look of things it had done little to slow the blaze. The glow over the hill grew brighter then finally flames burst into sight, hungry for anything and everything in their path.

"Winds changing, it's going to blow the fire up behind the house" Capp informed as soon as he returned from the modified pickup truck.

"Okay, that'll be our main front then" Severide replied urging his men prepare for the battle they were about to face. Everyone knew what they had to do so they kicked into action, soaking the trees and gardens around the house, filling the gutters with water and covering anything that would be easily set alight by embers. The fire came into view, both to the side and back of the house. Kelly and his men made their final preparations and donned their protective gear. In no time the fire was consuming the furthest fence, then the second furthest and finally the closest. "Newhouse, mist it to keep the embers down" Kelly instructed as he checked over his own hose one last time. As soon as the fire was in range of their hoses they blasted it with water, Kelly was constantly conscious of the limited supply they had. The fire started to sputter and lose ground initially but the gusting wind whipped it towards the house. Tony's rainwater tank had run out and soon the tree he had been protecting was consumed by spiralling flames. Now the embers became their enemy forcing them to split up into two teams, those combatting the fire and those extinguishing the spot fires that started in the house yard. It wasn't until the plastic furniture on the back deck started to melt that Kelly realised just how hot it was getting. Looking around he realised that the sky had darkened considerably, rather than heavy clouds to bring relief it indicated another fire approaching.

"Tony, take Capp's hose, we need an update on the Banks street fire, if it's coming this way we're going to need to leave" Kelly yelled over the roar of the fire which was slowly fighting back.

"Sure thing" Capp acknowledged running to execute the order. If the fire they were currently fighting converged with the Banks street fire they would lose not only this property but all the other properties right up to the river that ran through the small town five miles away. There just wasn't enough water available.

"I can't get through to the Bank street crew, command can't either, they want us to abandon this and go find them" Capp informed a few minutes later.

"Alright, go through the house and open the windows, we'll soak it and run" Kelly commanded though he knew it wouldn't hold the fire off for long.

"Some of us could stay here" Newhouse suggested when he was let in on the plan.

"No way, we stick together" Kelly said as he turned the hose on the house, ruining the family's possessions with water in order to save them from fire was contradictory. They emptied the rainwater tanks then piled themselves and their equipment into the pickup and headed back the main road. They passed dozens of cars packed with people, animals and possessions fleeing. Banks street was normally a fifteen minute drive away, they made it in ten. The whole area was burned and blackened. It didn't take long to find the pickup the crew had been in, it was still burning on the side of the road. Kelly and his men got out and checked the car, there was no sign anyone had been in it when it burned. They made their way to the nearest house, now a smouldering ruin.

"Severide, over there" Tony pointed and the entire team broke into a run, there were four sets of fire resistant clothing scattered around at the base of a massive rain water tank.

"They must be in there" Newhouse suggested softly, it wasn't a conscious decision to lower his voice. Nobody knew why they had stopped yelling but as they moved around the tank towards the opening they were all wondering what they were about to see. Kelly took the lead, it was his job to delegate, this was something he needed to see for himself. He climbed onto the rainwater tank using a pallet as a ladder and peered down into the darkness.

"Thank god!" followed by a number of cheers was all Kelly heard.

"Fire's gone" Kelly said brightly lowering himself over the opening so he could get a better look, five half clothed, soot smeared men stood up to their chests in the water. Two supporting the oldest man, who looked badly burned.

"We climbed in here to get away from it, it got pretty hot but we're still alive, Dean is pretty badly burned. We're stuck" one of the men supporting Dean said squinting up at Kelly.

"Go get the ladder" Kelly yelled turning to look at his men, after a brief conversation with the rest of his men Kelly and Capp set about putting the ladder in place. Soon it was just Dean and the fireman who'd spoken up left, they didn't have any option but to haul Dean out with a rope. It was evident Dean had somehow ended up trapped, even his fire retardant jacket was badly singed, the sleeves melted to his burned flesh. In the light of day Kelly was able to make a quick assessment of Dean's condition, they didn't have very long to get him to a hospital. Capp had already gone to the trouble of radioing the command center to let them know what was going on. They had to leave one of their pumps behind and even then there was barely enough room for everybody. Kelly couldn't help but think back to the farm they had left, there was still a chance they could save it if they returned. Command had dispatched an ambulance, a fire truck and two more mini crews, Kelly hoped their paths would cross before they reached the turn off to the farm. He allowed himself to be hopeful, especially since they were driving so slowly because of their extra passengers.

"Is that another fire?" Newhouse questioned pointing out to the west.

"Yeah" Kelly replied trying to ignore the growing realisation that nothing he was doing was making any difference. There was still no sign of company as they reached the flat stretch of road before the turn off to the farm. As he neared it he decelerated having finally come to a decision. "We're going to leave you guys here, keep driving until you meet the ambulance" Kelly instructed Louie, the man who had taken command of the second team.

"Really?" Capp questioned as he climbed off the back of the pickup to follow Kelly and the rest of the squad.

"Yeah, you two bring a pump, we'll run ahead and see what we can do" Kelly confirmed as he started at a light jog down the road, not before grabbing a hose and throwing it over his shoulder. It was a considerable distance to run, especially when every breath was a fight against the smoke and every step restricted by the heavy protective clothing. Kelly was more determined than he had ever been, every time he felt like stopping to walk he remembered the farmers daughters tiny face pressed up against the glass of the car window, fear in her eyes. He broke into a run when the house came into view, still standing with the fire raging on three sides. The trees were all on fire as were the living room curtains, they had arrived just in time. Kelly didn't need to give commands, the team knew instinctively what to do. The hose was connected to the only rainwater tank with a pump, the water pressure was pathetic but better than nothing. Capp and Tony took their time to arrive with the pump but joined in straight away. They had managed to put out the fire all the way back to the first fence when they realised they were in serious trouble. The fire they had spotted while driving was moving much faster than they had anticipated, it was now making its way along the driveway. If they didn't act quickly they would be surrounded.

* * *

><p>Erin's day started off completely ordinarily. She had dropped Shay off with Cindy and proceeded to work as usual. Halstead had bought coffee and placed it on her desk as had become custom. Erin thanked him and set about drinking it while going through her emails. The morning passed quickly though they little progress on their case. An international university student had gone missing three days ago and there was still no sign of her. Elka Ilan was a popular and high achieving but none of her friends had any idea where she'd disappeared to. It was completely uncharacteristic for her to go anywhere alone which led to the suspicion that something more sinister might have happened. Erin had been selected to keep in contact with the morgue in order to check any unidentified bodies matching Elka's description. They had thousands of pictures from her various social media accounts but they didn't give any clues as to where she could be. After some minor issues getting her circle of friends to cooperate they ruled out the most recent boyfriend stealing drama they were able to rule them out. It left them very little to go on. The case had essentially stalled leaving Erin a lot of time to wonder what Kelly was up to. She was about to send him a message when Voight emerged from his office and asked her to accompany him to meet with a CI.<p>

"So where are we going?" She enquired as she got into the car, the only time Erin didn't bother to question being a passenger was when Voight was driving.

"A crack house just off the university campus. I used to have a CI, today she calls me out of the blue and says she knows something about Elka. At this point anything is worth checking out" Voight explained.

"That's odd, you don't think she just wants money" Lindsay questioned.

"Probably" He answered gruffly, Lindsay suspected there was more to it then he was letting on but didn't bother to press it. If he wanted her to know he'd tell her, if he didn't then nothing she said would change his mind. "Stay here" He instructed when they arrived.

"No" Lindsay protested, shoving the car door open before he could lock her in. She followed him into the yard. The house was beyond decrepit, the rotten front stairs made getting to the landing interesting but they managed. Voight knocked twice then waited patiently.

"Keep your mouth shut" He warned as they were finally let into the house by a brunette woman, not much older than Lindsay. They moved through the house to a back room that was obviously used to deal drugs. The first think Lindsay noticed was the gun on the coffee table.

"Hank, it's lovely to see you" the woman said as she flopped onto the peeling faux leather couch. Lindsay was shocked to hear her refer to him by his first name, not many people had the nerve.

"Gemma" Voight replied.

"Not glad to see me are you?" Gemma questioned with a very fake sad look.

"No. What do you know about the missing student?" He asked expectantly.

"How much have you got?" Gemma questioned as her eyes trailed to his jacket pocket, Lindsay knew there was a considerable amount of cash stored there.

"Do we have to do this every time? I pay you what I think is reasonable based on the information you provide"

"Fine" Gemma sighed. "I saw Elka the other night walking across the courtyard with her brother.

"Her brother?" Voight asked, nothing in their investigation had made them suspect her family, they had assumed they weren't even in the country.

"Yeah, her brother Otto, I only recognised him because she was showing off pictures of him at a party a few months back" Gemma said with a smug smile. Lindsay wondered what a person her age was doing hanging around at university parties, she suspected it was probably where she earned her income selling drugs. Then Lindsay was forced to questioned whether this was where she would have ended up without Voight.

"Okay, where were they going?" He asked.

"I don't know" Gemma shrugged.

"Alright, thanks" Voight said handing her a hundred dollars.

"Seriously? You have to be kidding!" Gemma said waving the money around.

"You haven't given us much to work with" Voight justified as he handed her another fifty, he knew she was just going to spend the money on drugs. That was why he's stopped calling her in the first place, the more desperate she became the more she had lied, drugs had consumed any desire to help put criminals behind bars.

"Its more than you had before" Gemma snapped.

"Sure, thanks" Voight said as he turned to leave, Lindsay hesitated. In a second it became clear that Gemma wasn't going to let it go, she reached forward and picked up the gun that had been laying in front of her the entire time. Lindsay was quick to react drawing her gun and yelling for Gemma to put it down. Voight had spun back around though he hadn't had even started to reach for his gun when Gemma pulled the trigger. He hit the floor with a thud and then there was silence. Gemma realised what she had done and started to panic, it gave Lindsay the opportunity to hit the gun out of her hands. Now that Gemma was unarmed it was a simple task to cuff her.

"Don't move" Lindsay growled before turning to see Voight, bright red blood spilling onto the hardwood floors. Why had they chosen not to wear vests? "Hank, are you okay" Lindsay croaked as she crouched over him, applying pressure to the bullet wound.

"I wasn't fast enough" He replied still struggling to process that he had actually been shot.

"You'll be fine" Lindsay comforted as she pulled out her phone, wiping her bloody hand on her jeans before dialling 911. "They're on their way" She added only to see that he had lost consciousness. Despite her best efforts to stem the flow he continued to bleed, already far too pale. Lindsay knew he was dying, she wanted to yell at him and cry and hurt Gemma all at once but instead she pressed harder and prayed, it was the only thing left that might help.

**A double cliffhanger! Will Kelly and his squad manage to escape the fire that is surrounding them? Will Voight survive? You'll just have to wait and see tomorrow!**

**I had a little difficulty writing this because the Squad 3 guys haven't actually been named on the show (just Capp, Newhouse and Tony)...there are two other guys there but I didn't want to suddenly make up names for them and confuse you - they aren't particularly vital to the storyline anyway :D**

**I tried to Americanize as much as possible but I'm not sure if I should have made it a college instead of a university...I don't understand the difference (we don't really have colleges in Australia). **


	30. Chapter 30

"In here" Erin yelled when she heard voices at the front of the house. It felt like she had been holding Voight together for hours. He was still bleeding profusely, strangely it gave Erin hope, if he was still bleeding and breathing he was still alive. Even if it was only barely.

"Move" The paramedic instructed as he pushed Erin aside, she stood and stepped back. The grim faced paramedics started to load Voight onto the backboard, speaking softly and swiftly to each other. Erin desperately wanted to ask if he was going to be okay but she didn't want to distract them from their job. They lifted him and started making their way to the front door. Erin had just started to follow them when the paramedic turned on her. "You can't just leave her here" He said firmly using his head to gesture at Gemma who was crouched down in the corner looking horrified. Even in her frazzled state Erin couldn't argue, she needed to get Gemma to the district.

"Where are you taking him?" Erin called after the paramedics.

"Lakeshore" He replied casually. The sirens had already started to fade when Erin snapped into action. She grabbed Gemma and rushed out to the car. It wasn't until Erin slammed the car door shut that she realised she didn't have the keys. Unable to think rationally she pulled Gemma out of the car then walked her to the nearest intersection. She was able to stop and commandeer a car, happy to finally be making progress. Her plan involved shoving Gemma out of the car as soon as they got to the district then rushing to the hospital at full speed. Everything was going smoothly until the lights of a patrol car flashed in the rear view mirror.

"Are you kidding me?" Erin said to herself as she pulled over and promptly got out of the car.

"Ma'am get back in the car" The police officer called through the window.

"I'm police" Erin replied pressing her badge to his window.

"Oh, sorry" He apologised. Erin knew a snarky comment wouldn't help so she got back into the car and continued to drive recklessly until they reached District 21. There weren't any parking spaces so she simply stopped the car in the middle of the road, dragged Gemma up the stairs and handed her to the first uniform she saw, Burgess.

"Lindsay? What's going on?" Burgess asked pushing Gemma upright again, Erin hadn't exactly been gentle in the exchange. Nor did the detective look at all collected, still covered in blood.

"She shot Voight" Erin replied feeling numb as the words spilled from her mouth without any real thought behind them. She didn't stick around to explain instead rushing back outside to the car. After performing the most awkward three point turn ever she was back on track. Stuck at a red light she had a moment to reflect, none of her choices had been particularly logical. She could have handed Gemma to the patrolmen that pulled her over or swapped cars at the district for one with lights and sirens. Either option would have had her at the hospital faster. As soon as the light turned green Erin sped on. After parking properly she rushed into the hospital only to find herself at a loss for words when she reached the nurses station. "Voigh, Hank Voight. He was shot" Erin managed after a few moments.

"I'll have to check but I'm pretty sure he's in surgery" The nurse said getting up and disappearing out of view. Erin paced back and forth while she waited for the nurse to return. "He's in surgery but the doctor who treated him is happy to speak with you. If you just take a seat in the waiting room Doctor Atkins will be through in a little while" The nurse informed. Erin nodded in acknowledgement and proceeded into the waiting room. It was surprisingly empty, a few people sat talking quietly in the corner completely absorbed in their own medical drama. Erin couldn't bear to sit so she continued to pace restlessly.

"I was Mr Voight's doctor" A man said as he approached Erin, slightly alarmed by the sheer quantity of blood on her hands and clothing.

"Oh he's my…" She paused trying to work out what descriptor to use "boss" she settled on.

"Well he's honestly very lucky to have made it to the hospital alive, he's lost a lot of blood, the bullet nicked his aorta. I don't want to give you false hope, it's a miracle he's made it to surgery. It'll be complicated but the best cardiac surgeon in the city is fighting for him" Dr Atkins explained unsure if he should have made Erin sit down.

"Okay" Erin answered processing the information carefully.

"I have to go, but if you need anything just ask one of the nurses" Dr Atkins said turning to walk away. He took a step and the stopped to look back at her "you might want to wash your hands" he suggested. Erin nodded mindlessly and looked down, not only were her hands covered in dried blood, they were shaking more than ever before. Feeling suddenly light headed she slid into the nearest chair staring up at the ceiling as she took slow, deep breaths. She closed her eyes for a few seconds trying desperately to fight the rising urge to vomit. When she opened them the rest of the intelligence unit stood before her looking stunned and expectant.

"He's in surgery" Erin announced quickly watching as relief flooded their faces.

"What the hell happened?" Olinsky demanded.

"I don't know, she just shot him" Erin said after a long pause, there wasn't much to explain, it had been a completely irrational act.

"Have you talked to a doctor? What did they say?" Ruzek questioned unable to contain his childlike curiosity any longer.

"It's not good, he's lucky to have made it to the hospital at all" She answered blankly, if she didn't connect the words to their meanings it didn't hurt as much.

"I just can't believe it" Antonio commented as he took a seat opposite Erin.

"Believe it" Erin snapped holding up her hands as proof, it was a completely unnecessary contribution but her brain wasn't functioning properly. There was too much at stake. Voight had saved her life now there was nothing more she could do to save his.

"Come on" Halstead said grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to her feet. Erin didn't have the will power to fight him as he led her across the waiting room and into the disabled bathroom. She stood in front of the basin watching herself in the mirror as Halstead washed the blood from her hands. The stoic looking Erin in the mirror failed to convey the maelstrom of emotions she was experiencing.

* * *

><p>Kelly was facing an entirely different set of emotions, though no less intense. Leaves from the trees rained down, tiny bursts of fire falling from the sky, setting everything they touched alight. Beautiful but deadly. Kelly had led his men into a death trap, for nothing more than a house. The fire surged towards them from every direction.<p>

"What are we going to do?" Newhouse asked, for the first time since they'd arrived in Colorado he was questioning whether or not he would make it out alive.

"How much water do we have?" Kelly questioned. He needed all the information before he could formulate a plan.

"Not enough" Newhouse yelled back.

"How much?" Kelly insisted.

"Those two are half full, the smaller one is nearly out" Newhouse answered though he had already come to the conclusion that their only option was to evacuate, if they could fight their way through the fire.

"If we sacrifice the barn and sheds we should be able to save the house" Kelly commented, more to himself than the rest of his squad. Feeling deeply conflicted he took a moment to think, not that it was easy, his mind swirling as the smoke thickened. He was committed to saving the house, for the little girl who reminded him so much of the little girl he had waiting at home. It was illogical and a long shot at best, he was willing to risk his life for the house but he couldn't condemn his men. Unable to resolve the internal debate he called his men in and held a brief meeting. Just as he expected they refused to leave unless he did.

"Our best bet is to head back up the hill to the dam, past there it's already burned out so we'll just have to walk along the top of the hill to the road" Capp contributed receiving nods of agreement from the other men.

"Alright that's what we do then" Kelly said with a sigh, all the training in the world couldn't protect him against diminished confidence in his own judgement. If his squad thought fighting their way out to the south was the best option he had to trust their combined judgement over his own. They got to work joining hoses to run them to the southern boundary of the house yard. The thick hedge that had once lined the fence was now a raging inferno. It would be a waste of water to put it out so they simply moved further down the fence until they reached the gate they had driven the tractor through only hours earlier, it seemed like years.

"Kelly, man the pump" Newhouse ordered experimentally. Kelly, having given up on his ability to lead, was quick to execute the order. He let the job of monitoring the water pressure gauge consume him. It was a truly strange sound that woke him from his reverie. Snapping his head round he wondered how he could have become so focused on the tiny needle of the pressure gauge that he had missed the barn catching fire. The noise came from the barn, louder and more desperate now. Before he knew what he was doing he had started to run towards the burning structure. Kelly pulled the barn doors open but stopped in his tracks as the thick, dark smoke billowed out. As soon as it ceased dispersing he plunged into the darkness. He'd have given anything for the mask and oxygen tank he took for granted as a city firefighter. Now that he could see he was able to identify the noise, a large brown dairy cow trapped in the back corner of the barn. Having untied her lead rope Kelly fully expected her to be able to lead her out into the open. Even with her lift at stake she stubbornly refused to step over the fallen beam. Kelly gave her a sharp slap on the side but she wouldn't budge. The hay in the loft was burning, sending embers raining down on Kelly and the cow. Pulling his hands up into his sleeves to protect them he bent and dragged the beam a little, creating a path for the cow. He stood stunned as she immediately rushed past him out into the open. Kelly quickly moved to follow her lead, he would have succeeded if the loft hadn't collapsed at that exact moment.

"This is all my fault" Erin mumbled. They had barely been waiting for an hour but they had already exhausted every avenue of conversation, none of it meant anything anyway. All that mattered, to Erin at least, was Voight's survival.

"Don't be stupid" Halstead was quick to reply. No one else had heard her but would surely have said the same thing.

"You weren't there. I noticed the gun, just lying there, loaded and everything. But I didn't do anything about it" She snapped placing her feet back on the floor, she had been sitting with her knees curled up to her chest.

"He probably saw it too" Halstead assured.

"I was his backup" She argued.

"Erin you can't change it" He groaned. Erin knew he was right but blaming herself was something to do, it made waiting less painful, redirecting the emotion to hating herself. The silence consumed them again. It wasn't until her phone vibrated, using the last of its charge to inform her that it had run out of battery, that she was able to pull herself together for a moment. She quickly borrowed Halsteads phone and checked the time, dialling from memory she had Cindy on the phone in seconds.

"My boss has been shot, we're all waiting at the hospital. Can you keep Shay for the afternoon?" Erin explained before they had the chance to exchange greetings. Cindy was quite shocked by how unaffected Erin sounded but quickly agreed to continue to look after Shay for as long as was necessary. Now that Erin had stopped to think about Shay she couldn't stop it from also wondering what Kelly was up to. Erin hoped that he was having a better day than she was.

* * *

><p>It took the squad no time to realise that the loud collapse inside the barn and the disappearance of their Lieutenant were connected. They had been to focused fighting the flames to notice the appearance of the dairy cow, now it suddenly all made sense. Turning their hoses on the building they rushed in and quickly spotted a boot sticking out from beneath the burning straw and wood. They were able to pull most of the debris off him, all but a large support beam that was crushing his leg. A blow to the head had rendered Kelly temporarily unconscious.<p>

"We've got to lift it off him" Capp yelled as he looked up to see the barn starting to crumble around them, they didn't have time to mess around.

"How" Newhouse demanded, it was the main central beam, twice as thick as any of the others. Twice as heavy as well.

"We'll take this end, Tony you grab Severide and get ready to pull" Capp instructed, having taken momentary command given his considerable time on the squad. The men got into position then started to lift.

"This is impossible" Newhouse grunted lifting with all his might.

"No it isn't" Capp yelled and with one final burst of energy they managed to get the beam high enough for Tony to drag Kelly out. Newhouse had done serious damage to his shoulder in the process but knew there wasn't time to complain. They still had to get out of the barn before it collapsed in on them. They hauled Kelly out and left him laying alongside the rain water tank before they set about making back the ground they had lost.

The world swirled into focus, massive dark clouds of smoke all that Kelly could see when he came to. It took a moment for him to remember exactly what had happened, when he did he shook his head at his own stupidity. The movement sent his already concussed brain into overdrive, he quickly lost what was left of his breakfast. Feeling better with an empty stomach he pushed himself up and sat against the rainwater tank to assess his surroundings. The barn had fallen in on itself. The cow he had rescued stood at the side of the house, watching him and the other firemen cautiously. His squad had done well in his absence, making considerable ground. Feeling like he needed to make it up to them he tried to stand, both his brain and leg sent enough pain signals to make him realise it wasn't possible.

"You're back" Newhouse commented as he ran to check the pump after a sudden drop in pressure.

"Yeah, sorry and thanks I think" Kelly responded as the pump sputtered again. Newhouse fiddled with a valve then set off back to the front line to see if this alteration had any effect. He was back again seconds later. "Did you hurt yourself?" Kelly asked realising Newhouse was using his non-dominant hand to fix the pump.

"You just happened to be crushed under the heaviest beam" Newhouse said, Kelly was entirely to blame for his injured shoulder but at the same time it wasn't as if they'd had a choice.

"Sorry. Hows it going?" Kelly asked, if he'd been able to stand up he would be have seen that they'd worked the fire down to a twenty foot section between them and the scorched field.

"Almost there, if this would just work" Newhouse grunted as he gave the pump a forceful kick, it burst back to life for a second then died completely.

"What did you do?" Capp shouted running back along the hose. They assessed the pump, now completely useless, then realised it didn't matter. The water had run out.

"This is going to sound crazy but I say we jump into the tractor and drive through it" Tony suggested.

"That's completely insane, but it's also our only option" Kelly realised as he calculated the potential outcome.

"Lets do it" Capp enthused running off to get the tractor. They helped Kelly in, squeezing him behind the seat then all filled in around him. Capp, who had elected to drive, only had a very limited section of windscreen to see through. It was enough to see that they didn't have long, the fire was starting to dry the grass they had soaked. They reached the edge of the fire and Capp floored it, not that it did much in the cumbersome machine. The temperature rose instantly becoming almost unbearable right as they burst out the other side of the fire. Continuing to drive up the hill until they reached the dam and ditch they had worked on first thing in the morning. Climbing out of the tractor they couldn't contain their hysterical laughter, the red paint had blistered and the tyres had melted but the tractor had still saved their lives. Watching as the fire finally consumed the entire valley they didn't notice the whir of helicopter blades until the bright red, fire retardant stained water poured down on the fire. The wind had drawn the fires together and that was it's downfall, now it could and would be easily contained by the water drop. The helicopter pilot waved to them then pointed towards the road. Capp was quick to hoist Kelly to his feet and assist him on the walk back to the road. There was no rush so they took their time talking as they walked, adrenaline already wearing off. When they reached the road they were met by four fire crews and an ambulance. Kelly allowed the paramedics to look at his leg in exchange for a working phone, his first priority was letting Erin know he was okay. The phone rang and rang but she didn't answer.

* * *

><p>"He's out of surgery" The surgeon informed as soon as she entered the waiting room. Erin knew Voight was tough but she hadn't let herself even hope that he would make it. "That doesn't mean he's out of the woods. We had to revive him twice, it was probably the hardest surgery I have ever performed" She admitted "I managed to graft some of his femoral artery over the rupture and it seems to be holding well."<p>

"When can we see him?" Erin was quick to ask as soon as the surgeon stopped speaking.

"As soon as he's out of post-op, I'll send a nurse" She replied with a small smile.

"Thank you" Erin remembered to say, the rest of the team followed her lead ensuring the surgeon knew that they appreciated her time and effort. They returned to their seats, now able to smile, laugh and joke about all the incredible things Voight had accomplished and how he was sure to be out of the hospital in no time. They all had lingering doubts deep down but fed off each others external positivity. The nurse was less than pleased to approach the rowdy bunch and tell them they were allowed to visit her stable but critical patient. Erin couldn't help but smile when she finally saw Voight, for a long time she wasn't sure she'd ever see him again. He was incredibly pale with tubes and wires sticking out everywhere but he was alive. Convinced there was nothing more they could do the members of the intelligence unit slowly said their goodbyes before heading home.

"You go, I'll stay with him" Olinsky offered as he placed a hand on Erin's shoulder, he knew the whole thing had been much harder on her than on him. Alvin hadn't doubted for a second that old his friend would bounce back, he'd learned early on to accept Hank Voight's invincibility.

"No its okay" Erin objected straightening her posture to avoid looking tired.

"What about Shay?" He questioned.

"She's staying with the Herrmann's, they'd all be asleep by now" She concluded after a quick look to the clock that hung above the bed.

"Go home, get some sleep. I'll call you if anything changes I promise" Alvin said much more forcefully. Erin considered her options, it really was a case of sleep in an uncomfortable hospital chair or in her own bed. Voight wasn't going to wake up and they wouldn't know more about his condition until the cardiac surgeon returned in the morning.

"Alright" Erin said as she stood up, her back was already sore so she was glad not to spend any longer in the chair. She stopped and leaned over Hank, squeezing his hand and gently kissing his cheek before waving goodnight to Olinsky and leaving the room. Without a car she was forced to take a taxi home. As soon as she had showered she flopped into bed and fell asleep.

**I'm hoping this wasn't a massive let down...I did consider killing one or both of them but couldn't actually bring myself to do it :/ I'm not a doctor so I had no issue in making Voight survive a usually fatal injury (my medical knowledge is largely sourced from M*A*S*H... feel free to laugh). Anyway I'm exhausted, hope you liked it!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31! This is officially the longest fic I have ever written, thank you so much for your continued support. Writing is an escape for me and it means a lot to know that people are reading and enjoying the crazy roller coaster of things I think up for these characters. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it coming long into the future (I certainly don't have plans to stop anytime soon). Okay, I'll let you get on with reading now :D**

Kelly had been taken to the nearest hospital by ambulance, despite his protests. Newhouse accompanied him, no longer able to bear the pain of his damaged shoulder. They both had x-rays then waited together for their results.

"This is all my fault" Kelly said, filling the increasingly uncomfortable silence.

"You were just trying to save the cow, I was just trying to save you" Newhouse shrugged. They had all misjudged things before, now Kelly just needed to learn from it.

"Exactly, you hurt yourself saving me from my own stupidity" Kelly replied as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'd do it again" Newhouse responded.

"I wouldn't, the cow's probably dead by now" Kelly groaned.

"Probably not, did you see how many crews they had at the farm gate. I even heard them talking about getting another helicopter in" Newhouse said trying to cheer Kelly up.

"Bad news for both of you I'm afraid" the doctor said when he came in holding up their x-rays.

"How bad?" they both asked at the same time.

"Your leg is broken and you've done some serious damage to your shoulder muscles" The doctor explained to Kelly and Newhouse in turn.

"Erin is going to kill me" Kelly muttered, Newhouse laughed at the level of genuine fear in Kelly's voice. The doctor started talking to Kelly about his options they couldn't cast the leg due to the cut and abrasions the beam had caused. There were still splinters that would need to be removed then the cut would need stitching. After that they couldn't cast it for a few days to make sure they didn't miss an infection, Kelly fully intended to be on the next plane back to Chicago so he didn't bother to complain.

"I'm also quite sure you're concussed, we'll be sending you though to a major hospital for an MRI" The doctor explained "You'll need one too" he added looking at Newhouse. As soon as the doctor left the room Kelly talked the nurse into giving him a phone. He tried Erin but again she didn't answer, it was quite late so he didn't bother to call again. It wouldn't be fair to wake her up only to tell her he'd gotten himself hurt.

* * *

><p>Erin sat up as soon as she woke, already feeling guilty for having slept at all. She threw on some clothes, brushed her teeth then ran out the door with nothing but her keys. Standing in the driveway she questioned whether or not the universe was trying to tell her something. Over the last twenty-four hours she had had the worst luck. And now her car was still in the parking lot at the district. After taking a moment to calculate distances she shoved the keys in her pocket and started to jog. The jacket that had seemed necessary when looking through the bedroom window soon became stifling. It was peculiar how effective running was when it came to clearing her head. Three quarters of an hour later she arrived at the district. Thirsty and sweaty she didn't bother to head into the building. After blasting the air conditioner in the car for a few minutes Erin put the car into drive and made her way to the Herrmann's. It was the longest she'd ever stood at their front door without someone answering, so long in fact she started to wonder if something was wrong. Erin had just raised her hand to knock again when the door swung open, she could tell from Cindy's face that things had not gone smoothly.<p>

"Come on in" Cindy said sounding both frustrated and relieved. Erin didn't know what she could say to help so she followed Cindy into the house silently. "Nathan, can you get Shay for me?" Cindy asked as she turned to her oldest son.

"I'm really sorry about this" Erin said feeling like a terrible parent and friend.

"It's fine, she was just really unsettled" Cindy dismissed "all night" she added softly. Nathan arrived with Shay and handed her over to Erin.

"Thanks" Erin said as she took a look at her daughter. Shay looked tired but very happy to be reunited, it was possibly the longest they had ever been separated.

"Anytime" Cindy replied, more out of obligation than enthusiasm.

"I'm really sorry" Erin felt the need to reiterate as she made her way back to the front door. She knew she would have to arrange something spectacular to thank Cindy and started brainstorming ideas as she drove to the hospital. Shay had fallen asleep and was dribbling slightly, Erin smiled then remembered why she was at the hospital and scolded herself for being so thoughtless. It was a horrid shock to find Voight's bed empty, sheets stripped away as if he had never been there. She had no choice but to find a nurse and ask for help to locate him.

"Mr Voight was doing so well they took him up to a ward, give me a second and I'll find where exactly" The nurse said before turning to the computer. "Okay he is on the sixth floor, west wing, corridor B, room 13."

"Thanks" Erin said quickly, did 'doing well' mean he was awake?

"Do you need me to write that down? I could get an orderly to escort you" The nurse offered.

"No it's fine, thanks" She replied already halfway to the closest elevator. There was a map on the wall directly opposite the elevator so Erin wondered how anyone could get lost. Unfortunately the map didn't translate to the actual floor plan very well. Erin was starting to regret turning down help when by complete accident she stumbled into Voight's room.

"Morning" Olinsky whispered hoarsely.

"Morning, how's he going?" Erin asked placing Shay's car seat on the floor in the corner of the room.

"He woke up about an hour ago. He seems fine, frustrated to be stuck in bed but I think that's probably a good sign. The nurse got annoyed when he started asking about when he could leave" Olinsky laughed.

"I wonder if he realises how lucky he is" She pondered.

"I don't think he can quite yet, he'll understand once the doctor explains it and when he sees how worried you've been" Olinsky said as he stood up and started to rub his neck.

"Not worried enough to stay the night" Erin commented.

"You have other priorities" Olinsky reminded pointing to Shay.

"She stayed with Cindy overnight, I just went home and slept" Erin explained, moving closer to the bed.

"Erin, if you try to blame yourself he's just going to get annoyed, that's not good for his heart" Olinsky said knowing that a little manipulation would make everyone's lives easier. The only way to stop Erin blaming herself was to suggest it would negatively influence Voight.

"Okay" She nodded.

"I'm going to head home for a shower, are you alright to stay here for a bit?" Olinsky questioned.

"Sure" Erin answered though she wasn't sure how long Shay would sleep, keeping her quiet if she woke up would be difficult. Olinsky gave her a pat on the shoulder and handed her a newspaper before he left. She settled into the chair and unfolded the paper. It wasn't until she read the headline for a second time that she registered the fact that Kelly was still in Colorado, she'd been so preoccupied that he hadn't even crossed her mind.

* * *

><p>When morning arrived and Kelly still hadn't heard anything from Erin he started to worry. She had been the one insisting they stay in contact yet she wasn't answering her phone. Kelly and Newhouse had been lucky enough to catch a ride on the helicopter taking Dean to Denver, it wasn't a particularly smooth or comfortable trip but it was considerably faster than it would have been by car. Kelly hated hospitals at the best of times but he tried to keep his complaints to a minimum, it was his own fault he was there at all. He couldn't think of anything other than Erin and Shay as the doctors expertly dug the wood splinters from his leg and stitched the cut closed. Kelly waited patiently for his MRI then negotiated his way to a discharge and instructed the doctor to send the results through to Chicago. By the time he had finally busted his way out of the hospital the rest of the squad had made their way back to Denver. With Kelly on crutches and Newhouse's arm in a sling they boarded the next flight to Chicago, but not before Kelly left a message on Erin's phone.<p>

* * *

><p>Erin's patience wore thin very quickly. A kind young nurse offered her a phone so she quickly called Kelly, she tried to remain calm when he didn't answer. It was most likely that he had already left the regional command post, off for another day battling the fires. As if on cue both Shay and Hank woke the moment she stepped back into the room.<p>

"It's good to see you" Erin said to Hank as she lifted Shay out of her car seat and settled her with a hug.

"You weren't worried were you?" He croaked, she moved around the bed and pour him a glass of water. Once he had taken a sip he looked at her properly, even having slept in her own bed she still looked terrible.

"You almost died. Hell you did die! Twice in surgery" Erin said, she was massively relieved to see him so well but angry that he thought she wouldn't be worried.

"Okay, I'm sorry but I'm also okay" Hank insisted reaching out to squeeze her hand and prove it.

"But you nearly weren't" She whispered.

"I'm alive and I plan on staying alive, at least until Shay beats all your records at the academy" He said seizing Shay's attention.

"Sure" Erin answered unable to stop herself smiling. Hank held out his arms and Shay responded, squirming until she was handed over.

"I'm going to be around for a long time yet, your mummy has nothing to worry about" Hank said to Shay putting on a brave face as he exerted himself just keeping hold of the infant.

"Her mummy is worried the doctor wouldn't like to see this" Erin responded reaching across to take Shay back.

"It think it's great actually" The surgeon said from the doorway, Erin knew they had probably had the same amount of sleep yet the surgeon looked almost cheerful.

"Can't argue with the doctor" Hank teased pushing Erin's hands away.

"I certainly hope you won't be" The surgeon said as she reached for his chart. "It says here the first thing you asked the nurse was when you could leave" she commented.

"No offence but I've got work to do" He defended.

"I'll explain your injury and the typical survival rate and then we'll see" The surgeon warned before starting a firm lecture on just how close the bullet had been to ending his life once and for all. Erin was pleased to see him listening attentively. When the surgeon finished he had been effectively put in his place, happy to stay in hospital for as long as she recommended. After advising him to get as much rest as possible the surgeon checked the incision then left the room. Hank caught Erin glancing at the clock and wondered what was going on.

"You don't have to hang around if you have somewhere to be" He assured.

"It's nothing" She replied hastily.

"Okay" He said shifting to get a better look at her. "Erin I'm really sorry that I scared you."

"I just didn't want you to leave me, I'm an adult and I have my own family but I still need you. I think I always will" Erin said sitting on the edge of his bed

"I won't always be here but I'm going to do my best to stick around for a long time yet" He answered reaching out and rubbing her arm.

"I haven't heard from Kelly since yesterday morning" She added leaning down to place her head on his shoulder, he did his best to hug her with one arm. The doctor had told him he was lucky to survive the bullet but holding Shay and Erin in his arms made him feel lucky. Erin felt pathetic, she was completely losing it in front of the one person who deserved to see her cool, calm and collected. She knew it was selfish but she couldn't stop herself from crying, too much had happened, she couldn't process it so she needed to let it out.

"He'll be fine, I'll be fine and you'll be fine too" He comforted, it had been a long time since he'd last performed this duty.

"I need to go home and get my phone, then I'll know if he's called" She concluded as she sat up and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

"Alright" Hank said as Shay escaped from his hold and crawled over him into her mothers arms.

"I don't want to leave you. Where is everyone? They were all here last night" Erin noted poking her head out the door to check there were no familiar faces waiting.

"I'm in a hospital with hundreds of doctors and nurses, I won't be alone" He said.

"I'll be back soon" She said then grabbed the car seat and left. Once she was home she had to locate her phone then plug it in to charge. After a very anxious five minutes the device finally turned on vibrating madly as a dozen missed calls arrived. The call log showed Kelly' s most recent call had only been a couple of hours ago. Erin listened to the message he had left then checked the time. She would barely have time to make it to the airport if she wanted to be there when he arrived. Kelly hadn't given a reason for his early return but she was too excited to question it. She changed Shay into clothes that actually fit, she hadn't bothered to update the spare set of clothes in Shay's bag so they looked uncomfortably tight. Then she was off again to the airport looking forward to seeing Kelly more than ever. Erin still hadn't forgiven herself for completely forgetting him for a whole day so she wanted to make it up to him by being there when he touched down. She hoped it would be the complete opposite of his departure, extreme happiness instead of sadness.

**Are you looking forward to Erin seeing Kelly? How do you think she'll react?  
><strong>


	32. Chapter 32

Erin made her way through airport security, stooped awkwardly to the side so she could hold Shay's hand. Now that she could Shay insisted on walking as much as possible. Erin knew she would have to increase how much Shay ate to make up for all the extra energy she was using. Once they had cleared security Erin checked the arrivals board and found that Kelly's flight had been delayed and was still half an hour away. It was such a novel environment for Shay that Erin wasn't concerned about having to entertain her. After a look through the shops, and the impulse purchase of a 'Chicago, My City' Shirt for Shay they found a seat at the correct gate.

"Dada will be here soon" Erin said softly to Shay to get her attention. Shay, like all children, was inherently curious but her propensity to stare at people for uncomfortably long periods of time could get awkward.

"Dada!" Shay squealed excitedly, clapping her hands.

"Dada is coming home, and I'm never going to let him go anywhere ever again" Erin explained as she lifted Shay onto her lap, the last part more to herself than for Shay.

"Dada no go" Shay replied seriously.

"Yeah" Erin nodded pleased by Shay's growing ability to convey her thoughts with words. They weren't anywhere near full sentences but it was enough to understand what she was thinking. Shay started to chant 'dada' repeatedly, despite glares from other patrons Erin did nothing to quiet her.

"She seems quite excited to see her dad" An older woman commented looking affectionately at Shay.

"It's only been a week" Erin replied with a guilty smile.

"A week might technically always be the same amount of time but I can assure you some are much longer than others" She replied thoughtfully.

"In that case it's been a very long week" Erin conceded.

"Business trip?" The woman questioned, she was clearly waiting alone and had nothing better to do.

"Kind of..." Erin answered realising that that was exactly what it was. She never thought she'd be in a relationship with someone who went on business trips, it sounded much too pretentious.

"Kind of?" She asked.

"He's a fireman, so he went to help out in Colorado" Erin explained.

"Well good on him. I saw on the news this morning that there are only two fires still burning and they're both currently contained. I bet your husband will be exhausted" The woman said, normally Erin would jump to correct her but at that moment it didn't really seem important.

"Probably" Erin sighed, her plans for the afternoon involved leaving Shay home with Kelly so she could return to the hospital. Thinking of the hospital she wondered if she should call Antonio or Halstead to make sure Voight wasn't still alone. Erin would have pulled out her phone to make the call if the plane she had been waiting for hadn't taxied into position right at that moment. Gathering Shay and her discarded sock Erin moved to the window so they would be nice and close to the top of the ramp.

"Dada" Shay exclaimed as the first people started exiting the plane.

"Almost" Erin encouraged feeling her own excitement start to build. After the twenty-four hour nightmare of a day she'd had all she wanted was for Kelly to hold her, safe in arms for as long as it took to forget the rest of the world. Expecting to see him at any moment she was disappointed and confused when the stream of disembarking passengers started to thin.

"Dada?" Shay asked, on the verge of tears.

"Soon baby" Erin comforted moving to check the display properly, she was certain they were at the right gate but neither Kelly nor his squad appeared to be among the passengers. The screen indicated that she was correct but there were no longer passengers making their way to the top of the ramp. After double checking her phone she left the waiting area to locate another arrivals screen, it was possible there were two planes arriving at the same time and he had simply sent the wrong details. Of course this meant that when Kelly did finally reach the top of the ramp they were a considerable distance apart. Erin was standing looking baffled at the arrivals screen, Kelly scanning the crowd for the two faces he desperately needed to see.

"Dada" Shay yelled, Erin knew instantly from the change of tone that Shay had spotted her father. Even from that distance, and despite the traffic of travelers moving between them, they could read each others expressions. Erin's face fell instantly when her eyes left his face and noticed the crutches and bandaged leg. Kelly continued to beam but his stomach lurched with nervous anticipation, he could tell from her expression that she was either going to forgive him, and potentially cry, or kill him right then and there. Shay wriggled wildly in Erin's arms forcing her to start to move towards the unexpectedly bruised and battered man. As they got closer Shay finally succeeded in forcing her way to the ground, from there she could get to her Dada far more quickly. Traveling as fast as her tiny, chubby legs would carry her she reached him in a matter of seconds. Tearing his eyes from Erin, who had slowed her pace substantially, Kelly held his crutches in one hand and scooped up Shay with the other. Erin watched them hugging and smiling and wished she could join in. She couldn't though, she wouldn't allow herself to give the impression that she was at all pleased with him. He was hurt, she didn't know how badly but it was enough to make her question everything. They had grown so close, falling in love with each other in the process of becoming parents, maybe too close. Erin didn't know if it was because of the near miss with Voight or because she was still struggling to process that Kelly was hurt but she decided to stop walking. Things had gone too far, she had become too invested so now she was left with no choice but to physically distance herself and regain control. As Erin stood, blank faced, packing her emotions back into their box, the one place where they were safe and contained and untouchable, Kelly realised something was wrong. It took him a minute to figure out that he would have to put Shay down before he could use the already irksome crutches to reach Erin. Shay obediently walked back to her mother, Kelly following close behind.

"It's nice to see you" Erin said weakly as she lifted Shay onto her hip then turned and started walking towards the exit.

"Erin, please" Kelly called after her, when he realised she wasn't going to stop he quickly set about trying to catch up. His leg started to throb but he ignored it, the pain in his leg incomparable to the growing pain in his chest. At the main door out of the airport Erin stopped suddenly and turned around she brushed past him as she started to move again, fighting the crowd to get back into the building. By the time he had caught up to her she had collected his luggage. Backtracking the exact path they had just traveled they progressed out into the open, then across the road and into the parking structure. Kelly still trailed along behind, even with Shay and the heavy bag Erin made sure to walk faster than he could. After securing Shay in the car and packing the bag into the back she waited. Kelly struggled to stow his crutches then hop to the passenger seat and get in. "Erin" He said, sounding particularly apologetic. He reached across for her hand but she pulled away and started the car. The drive home gave Kelly plenty of time to think, but when they arrived he still had no idea what to say to fix things. Erin headed inside, plugged her phone in, made lunch then sat and ate with Shay as Kelly pleaded for her to just listen to what he had to say. She wouldn't acknowledge him at all but she had no choice but to listen as he explained everything. Content ignoring him Erin didn't speak a word in response until Shay was having her afternoon nap.

"I've gotta go" She said quickly.

"Erin! Where are you going?" Kelly questioned.

"Work" She replied, if she stopped to explain the Voight situation he might think she was forgiving him. The hospital was calm, quiet and clean, easy for her overworked brain to process. Voight was glad to have company again, the nurse tried to tell Erin that it wasn't visiting hours but he quickly made Erin's presence a condition of his compliance.

"Are you okay?" He asked, surely with Kelly back she would be happy.

"Fine, just thinking" She answered dismissively.

"About?" He questioned.

"Where everyone else is" She lied securing the deception by looking him dead in the eyes.

"At work if they know what's good for them" Hank was quick to contribute.

"Oh, yeah. Probably" Erin replied, she had completely forgotten about work and their current case. Now that Erin remembered she hoped that the delay wouldn't cost Elka her life. "I should probably go see if they need any help" She said after a long pause.

"No you should probably go home" He said, while it was nice to have her around he knew something big was happening.

"I can't" She shrugged.

"What do you mean?" Hank asked.

"I can't go home" She repeated.

"I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong" He said when she failed to continue.

"The fact that I'm not at work is what's wrong, you seem fine so I'll head in and make sure everyone's behaving" Erin explained.

"I'll need you and Antonio to work together while I'm stuck here, the doctor seems to think it might be a while" He said, the last thing he wanted to do was indulge her desire to smother her family issues with work but he had little choice.

"Sure, we'll manage, you just get better" Erin assured as she made her way to the door, stopping only when he spoke.

"Erin, you know I'm here if you need anything, even if you don't want to talk or if you just want to cry or yell and scream and hit things. I will always be here for you" He said though he didn't truthfully know why, it just seemed like the sort of thing she might need to hear.

"Thank you" She replied before leaving. Arriving at the district felt like going home after a long time away. The intelligence unit had continued to work and were closer than ever to finding Elka. They had her brother's rental car details so all that remained was tracking down the vehicle and hoping the siblings were nearby. Powell was busy monitoring CCTV so the rest of the team had a momentary break. After filling them in on Voight's current condition Erin retreated to her desk, staring meaninglessly at her computer screen instead of doing something productive.

"You alright?" Nadia asked placing a steaming cup of coffee in front of Erin.

"Yeah I'm fine" Erin replied.

"You don't look it" Nadia commented.

"Thanks" Erin replied with a glare, getting the message the younger woman retreated to her own desk and got back to work. Wanting nothing more than a good outcome Erin made the decision to stay back while the rest of the unit made their way to the recently discovered rental car. Erin wasn't in the right frame of mind and she couldn't shift the doubt that she might get another colleague shot. She didn't even listen when the team returned, eager to share their victory. Leaving the district she had no idea why Elka had gone missing or how her brother was involved.

"Oh no you don't! Go home" Hank protested when she marched into his room.

"Don't tell me what to do" She said defiantly relaxing into the chair.

"I'll get my nurse" He threatened holding up the remote with the emergency call button.

"You wouldn't" Erin said confidently. Hank depressed the button and his nurse came rushing in.

"I need to sleep" He explained ignoring Erin's horrified expression.

"Fine" Erin groaned leaving the room just as quickly as she had entered it. She had nowhere but home to go. She sat in the car in the driveway for a very long time, when she did finally go inside she was pleased to see that Kelly had managed to get Shay to bed. Kelly turned off the television and followed her upstairs to the bedroom. He waited in bed while she showered then, reluctantly, crawled in next to him.

"I love you" Kelly said.

"I love you too" Erin replied without hesitation. That was the problem though, she loved him more than she had ever loved anyone before, except Shay of course. It was a completely different type of love though. This was the sort of love where she knew she would cease to function if anything happened to him. The ease with which she had forgotten him in favour of Voight, topped off by the fact he had been badly hurt made her angry and confused.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Everything" She answered, it was so much easier than explaining everything.

"Please talk to me" Kelly said looking at her hopefully.

"We'll talk in the morning, I just need to sleep right now" She responded, rolling away from him to show him the conversation was over. Erin did everything she could think of to try to get to sleep, she was exhausted but her brain wouldn't stop. Eventually she couldn't hold it in any longer. "You got hurt, doing your job, again. I don't like what you do, it's too dangerous but who am I to talk when I'm running around shooting criminals one minute then playing with our baby the next. The world, our world is messed up" Erin stopped for a moment to take a breath then started again. "Voight got shot and nearly died and I don't know what I'd do if he had but he didn't and you didn't either but I've never felt more alone. He was dying right in front of me and you were off in Colorado, not that I was even thinking about you. I spent half a day without even thinking about you so it's completely ridiculous for me to have reacted the way I did when I saw you this afternoon, hurt. My emotions right now are too complicated and I don't understand them so I don't want to have them at all. It's just easier if I ignore everything and hope it goes away but you aren't going to go away. I won't let you leave me because other than Voight you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I need you, all of you, always. So you have to be more careful" She finished finally. Kelly had been half asleep when she'd started talking but he was soon wide awake, listening to every word and trying desperately to understand what she was saying. Her thoughts had exploded from her mind for a moment and he finally had a glimpse of what it was like in her head. She felt tired, angry, confused, hurt and in need of reassurance all at the same time, it was enough to give him a headache.

"I'm not going anywhere" was all he could think to say as he disregarded the pain in his leg pulling her across the bed. He held her firmly to his chest, his words were useless.

"I think I just love you too much" Erin whispered.

"I know I love you too much" Kelly replied pressing his lips to her forehead. Allowing her eyes to close, she stopped to absorb the moment, in seconds she was asleep.

**I'm not really sure what I had planned for this chapter but it kinda took on a mind of it's own and just flowed out my fingertips (that sounds less insane in my head)...**


	33. Chapter 33

"Erin" Kelly said softly placing his hand on her upper arm to give her a gentle shake. She didn't stir at all, her deep even breathing continued making Kelly question how long he could hold on for. Erin was nestled to his side, her head resting under his chin with one arm draped across his body. Not long enough he decided as he gave her another shake.

"Mm...what?" She asked sleepily, her first instinct was to pull him closer.

"I have to get up" He whispered trying to push her away.

"No" She groaned shifting herself so that she was completely on top of him.

"I'll be right back" Kelly assured before pushing her off he sat up then fumbled with his crutches and hobbled to the bathroom. Watching him struggle to walk brought back all the feeling Erin had been trying to bury. "You okay?" He asked when he got back into bed, she was staring blankly at the ceiling, deep in thought.

"Yeah, fine, sorry" She said shaking her head a little to clear it.

"Is everything alright? Between us?" He questioned, rolling onto his side so he could look down at her.

"Yeah I think so, at least I get six weeks of knowing you're not going to die" She replied distantly.

"Erin please" He groaned knowing she was struggling more than ever with his line of work.

"Please what? Accept that you're going to risk your life for a cow? Not likely" She scoffed feeling her heart rate increase as anger flooded her body.

"I made a dumb mistake, you can't tell me you haven't" He defended.

"No I can't say that I haven't but I don't usually end up with broken limbs" She answered quickly.

"Just broken ribs" He commented softly, dredging up the distant past wasn't going to help but she was acting like she'd never gotten hurt. Erin looked like she was about to explode but as the seconds ticked past she didn't respond. Eventually, when he assumed she'd given up she spoke.

"This isn't about me, this is about you and the fact that you need to realise I can't do this without you" Erin said in a clear, cold tone.

"You could" He insisted.

"You sacrifice yourself for a cow and I'm left with the baby. Trust me you were only gone for a week and I already feel like I've gone insane" Erin snapped.

"I am not going to die for a cow, I didn't die for a cow" Kelly reasoned.

"No you just broke your leg which is nothing, I shouldn't have any issue with it" She said sarcastically.

"Erin, stop. I'm confused, just tell me what's actually wrong?" He asked, holding his head in his hands.

"What's wrong? Maybe I realised how much I love you and I can't figure out how to make it stop" Erin answered honestly.

"You want it to stop?" He asked, pain evident in his voice.

"Yes, I've never felt like this before. It hurts, when you go away or when I see you hurt" She replied, near tears.

"Come here" Kelly said pulling her into his arms, she tried to resist at first but then gave in. "You're scared" He whispered as realisation dawned, she wasn't scared of losing him, she was scared of losing herself. Erin stiffened in response. "I know I went away, I left you and Shay. You were all I could think about, that's why I tried to save the cow. I watched the family pack everything they could into their car and drive away, their little girl reminded me of Shay. She was so confused. I lost control, I got too involved and I made stupid decisions. But I'm never going to do that again, I promise. I'm not going to leave you and Voight isn't either. You've had a rough week but I'm here now, I'm here for good" Kelly explained, pouring his emotions out for her to take or leave.

"You won't go away again? Even if half the country is on fire?" She questioned weakly, it didn't seem a fitting reply at all.

"I'll quit being a fireman altogether if it would make you happy" He assured.

"I'll think about it" She teased as she smiled up at him.

"Good idea" He nodded.

"I missed you a lot" She complained, still smiling.

"I can tell" He laughed.

"I think I need to show you how much" Erin said, her serious facial expression conflicting with the way her hands were pulling at his shirt. Kelly felt relief wash over him, replaced by an entirely different feeling as her lips danced along his jaw. She indulged him with a kiss, slow and meaningful. Kelly let his hands rest at her waist, her perfectly smooth skin under his calloused hands. Shay chose that exact moment to declare to the world that she was hungry. Erin continued regardless, certain Shay would calm herself. When they next pulled apart to breathe Shay was silent. A loud thud made both adults lose interest in each other, panic rising as they rushed to Shay's room. Erin arrived first, Shay sat on the floor at the bottom of her crib looking confused.

"Is she okay?" Kelly questioned as he arrived on his crutches.

"I think so" She replied as she checked Shay for any sign of an injury.

"How did she even get out?" He questioned, Shay was barely tall enough to see over the railings so it didn't make sense.

"I don't know. She must have been really determined" Erin suggested.

"I think she scared herself" He said watching Shay's confusion fade.

"I hope so. Let's get some breakfast anyway" She said starting to move towards the door, with one last look over her shoulder to check that nothing was out of place she let it be a mystery. Kelly followed, taking his time on the stairs.

"Have you got plans today?" Kelly asked as they sat down at the table to eat.

"I should probably be at work already, I'm supposed to be working with Antonio to cover Voight" She answered, feeling even worse about staying in bed.

"I have to see a doctor" He groaned.

"To get that cast?" She questioned looking at his bandaged leg, she wondered how he had managed to avoid it so far.

"Yeah, and apparently I need an MRI as well" He said, Erin's face fell. "As a precaution because I lost consciousness" He added to reassure her.

"Do you think you could wait until this afternoon? I'll take you to the hospital when I visit Hank, that way we can keep Shay with us" Erin said after thinking for a moment, she wasn't sure Cindy would be pleased to have Shay back.

"Yeah sure, Shay and I can catch up on the TV we missed" He commented.

"The TV you missed, she isn't even supposed to watch it" She corrected though she hadn't really made any effort to restrict Shay's television viewing, surely shows about wilderness survival and cars weren't damaging.

"What time will you be home" He questioned, changing the subject before Erin could ruin his plan for a lazy morning.

"I have no idea, I'll call when I know if we've got a case" She said leaving him at the table with Shay to go get dressed. Erin left for work a few minutes later. Kelly and Shay settled onto the couch, they'd barely moved when Erin returned just in time for lunch. Erin didn't have much paperwork to do and had made excuses about going to see Voight. It wasn't a complete lie, she was going to see him, after she stopped at home for lunch.

They emerged from the hospital a few hours later. Voight was in good spirits, glad that his doctor had allowed him to go for a walk down the hall. Kelly was glad to know his MRI had come back normal but was already sick of the cast. The doctors had debated how best to treat his leg for so long that he had seriously considered asking them to remove it, it would have been faster. They decided to remove the stitches early and replace them with an organic adhesive which wouldn't interfere with the cast. Erin wasn't surprised to see that he had chosen bright for the outer layer of the cast, a very close match to the red of the squad truck. She threatened a trip to the firehouse, knowing they would quickly deface the cast, when he tried to get out of cooking dinner. They ended up stopping for take out. As soon as Shay was asleep, Erin checked on her half a dozen times to make sure, they were able to pick up where they had left off.

**Probably a bit of a disappointment there but tomorrows chapter will make up for it I assure you! Unfortunately after tomorrow I won't be able to update for a few days because I'll be traveling to Perth (if everything goes according to plan I'll be updating on Tuesday). **


	34. Chapter 34

**I really hope you like this one...M rated towards the end ;)  
><strong>

It took a few weeks to get back into a somewhat regular routine. The intelligence unit struggled without Voight's guidance, and while he'd technically left Lindsay and Antonio in charge they didn't have his authority. Voight fought his way out of the hospital after two weeks, spent a day at home then promptly returned to work, ignoring his doctor's orders completely. Erin for one was glad to have him back, she'd been working seven days a week just to keep things moving. Kelly was trying to make the most of his forced time off work. He loved spending so much time with Shay, she was constantly learning new things. In his mind his greatest achievement to date was teaching Shay to bring things to him, Erin wasn't particularly pleased to find he had trained their daughter to fetch. At long last Kelly got a chance to get out of the house, it was Saturday morning and Erin was having a well-deserved sleep in. He had fed and played with Shay until she too decided she could do with more sleep. After placing Shay on his side of the bed, a pillow in place to prevent her rolling off, he grabbed his jacket and car keys. Kelly wasn't supposed to drive with his broken leg but the switch from cast to boot made him wonder if the line had blurred. By the time he reached the first major road he had the hang of driving again. There were two things he needed to do, things he'd been thinking about since his return to Chicago, and Erin couldn't find out. He still wasn't sure it was a good idea, soon he'd know for sure. Pulling up outside Voight's house wasn't nearly as nerve wracking as knocking on his door. When nobody answered after five minutes, and some very insistent knocking, Kelly retreated to the car. There was only one other place Voight would be so Kelly made the short trip to District 21. Getting past Sergeant Platt was an unexpected hurdle but eventually he made it up to intelligence.

"Severide, what are you doing here?" Jay Halstead asked looking up from his desk as the footsteps approached.

"I just wanted to talk to Voight" Kelly replied.

"He just went downstairs to get some paperwork, should be back soon. Anything I can help with?" Jay asked as he tried to read Kelly, he looked flustered but that didn't mean anything specific.

"No, I just have a question" Kelly said looking from the door at the top of the stairs to Voight's empty office.

"About Erin?" Jay was quick to ask.

"Yeah" Kelly answered, Jay narrowed his eyes and thought for a moment. It wasn't his place to get involved, he was just her partner, but he couldn't help but be suspicious. Jay could only think of one reason for Kelly to ask Voight anything.

"Look man I don't want to interfere but if you're here to ask Voight what I think you're asking you need to leave" Jay said as he stood.

"Seriously?" Kelly demanded starting to get a little annoyed at Jay's assumption he knew what was happening. That on top of the fact he had always been a little concerned about Jay's relationship with Erin.

"Yeah seriously. Think about it, if the question relates to Erin then that's who you should be asking. I really hope you know her well enough that you understand her need to be in control. You can't go asking Voight a question meant for Erin, it needs to be her decision alone, no pressure from you or Voight or anyone. Trust me, Voight wants her to be happy and if you can do that he won't care that you didn't ask his permission" Jay spelled out hoping his suspicions were correct.

"You're right" Kelly said after long moment of thinking things through, he was still baffled that Halstead had been able to read him so easily.

"Yeah, so ask Erin, but only if you're serious because if you aren't and you end up hurting her in any way I will make you regret it" Jay assured. Kelly was already starting to question himself, it had seemed like a good idea when he was sitting on the couch at home. He gave Halstead a resolute nod then retreated to his car, he sat thinking for a moment then made his way to his next destination.

* * *

><p>Seeing the number of choices, gleaming and glittering in the glass cabinet, Kelly realized he was out of his depth. He pulled out his phone and called Gabby, surely she would have some advice. Gabby squealed with excitement when he voiced his plan then rushed to join him at the store. She tried to be reasonable and practical, narrowing it down to three choices. Kelly had a clear favorite so with encouragement from Gabby he bought it, stowing the small box safely in his pocket. He thanked Gabby profusely then returned home, trying to pretend nothing had happened. Erin was a little worried but figured she would need a morning out if she'd been trapped at home for the last few weeks. Kelly was unusually helpful with the housework, leaving Erin plenty of time with Shay.<p>

"Erin, can we go for a walk to the park?" He asked unable to resist any longer. While he wanted everything to be perfect, she deserved nothing less, he couldn't hold out for date night at a fancy restaurant.

"Yeah sure" She answered, it wasn't a strange request so she didn't give it much thought. Getting shoes on Shay's tiny feet was a two person job, with careful communication and some luck they managed the task. By the time they left the house the sun was starting to set. Kelly realized he wouldn't have time to muck around when they reached the park. He started doubting everything, a park was not the venue Erin deserved. "Are you alright?" Erin questioned, picking up on his nervous energy.

"I'm fine" He replied, trying to match his thoughts with his cool exterior. It was getting darker every moment and as they arrived in the park Kelly made the decision to delay, this didn't feel right. He wasn't going to let the opportunity to have fun with Shay pass by. Erin watched on with a smile as he followed Shay around the park occasionally lifting her from the ground, up into the air to fly for a moment then returning her to her feet. Both Shay and Kelly were laughing, Erin felt a little left out so she headed towards them to join in. Kelly leaned down help Shay to her feet when the box slipped out of his pocket. Before Kelly could retrieve it Shay grabbed it and started running. "Shay, can I have that?" He hissed, looking over his shoulder to see Erin getting closer.

"No" Shay said firmly moving past him, towards Erin, as fast as she could. Kelly followed after her, just catching up as she presented the box to Erin.

"What's that?" Erin questioned when Shay held out the foreign object.

"Umm…" Kelly started but it was too late, Erin had accepted the box and was looking at it cautiously. Kelly didn't have much of a choice, he took the box from her hands, it was easy since she wasn't expecting it and dropped to one knee. Shay grabbed at him, trying to get the box back, he settled her on his knee then looked up at Erin. Her face was completely blank. He swallowed, preparing himself to speak. "Erin, I love you so much. Will you marry me?" Kelly asked flipping the box open to reveal the ring he had chosen. She didn't move, he couldn't even tell if she was still breathing. A million thoughts swirled through her head but she tried to ignore them, this wasn't a question for her brain, it was a question for her heart. Shay started to cry so Kelly pulled the ring from the box, he handed Shay the empty box and she stopped. When he looked back up at Erin he was surprised to see her eyes twinkling, the buildup of unshed tears glistening in the low light.

"Kelly" She said, starting softly, "you have a part of me, I didn't give it to you willingly and I don't think I can ever get it back. I don't know what love is or how to be a wife but if you want to marry me to show the world that we belong together then that's what I want as well" Erin had no idea where the words came from, they were just there.

"Is that a yes?" He breathed still not sure he could celebrate.

"Yes, yes I will marry you" She answered as he stood up. It wasn't something she ever thought she'd say but it seemed stupid not to. He slipped the ring onto her finger, to his surprise it fit perfectly, he'd used the shop assistant and Gabby's hands to guess the right size.

"I thought you'd say no" He laughed nervously, watching as she looked more closely at the ring. Three strands of yellow gold were plaited together to form the bank, a perfectly proportioned diamond sparkling in the middle.

"But you still asked" She noted as she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Barely a second after their lips met they were forced apart, Shay kicking Erin in anger after dropping the box. "Shay" Erin complained before bending down to retrieve the box.

"We should head home" Kelly commented, noticing for the first time that it was now completely dark, the only source of light the half dozen street lights surrounding the park.

"Yeah" Erin agreed with a sigh, still trying to process everything that had happened. They walked home in silence, both caught up in their thoughts. Shay tried to run ahead but they were both quick to grab her hands, keeping her safely between them. They made their way through the front door into the pitch black house. Erin flicked a light switch then checked to see her new ring in the bright light, it was perfect, not too big or too plain.

"So there's a reason I asked you in the park" Kelly said as he followed her thought the house. He decided that making it sound intentional was his best bet, especially since he had an idea.

"Really? Why?" Erin questioned wondering if she had missed something.

"So that Shay could run around, now she'll sleep really well" He said with a grin.

"Oh, do you have plans?" She teased as she pulled off her shoes, tossing her socks straight into the laundry. He continued to follow her though he had no idea where she would lead him next.

"I certainly do" Kelly answered resting one hand on her waist when she finally stopped in the kitchen

"I might get her dinner ready and put her to bed early, then deal with the consequences in the morning" She said pulling open the fridge.

"I'll take her for her bath now then" He offered taking Shay from Erin's hip.

"Okay, no messing around with bubbles" She instructed sternly.

"Why not? Are you feeling a little impatient?" He teased as the grin returned to his face.

"You're wasting time" She replied knowing she was playing right into his hand.

"We'll be back soon, no bubbles" He agreed moving through the house and up the stairs. Erin threw together a quick meal for Shay, some tomato pasta, carrot and celery sticks and cubes of cheese. All things Shay liked and typically ate quickly. Of course tonight, while her parents battled to remain patient while drowning in anticipation, she didn't really want to eat at all. They played with her food to try and make it more appealing, in the end she only ate half of it. Eventually satisfied that Shay wouldn't die of starvation Erin took her plate, finished the carrot and celery herself then joined Kelly and Shay for a bedtime story. Shay was too exhausted to cause any further delay, as soon as she was asleep they snuck out of her room and closed the door. Kelly gestured for Erin to lead the way so she did, struggling to walk calmly and confidently to their bedroom.

"Hi" She said softly as he shut the door slowly and turned to face her.

"Hello. Any requests from my beautiful fiancée?" He questioned, closing the space between them in two strides.

"No" She answered with a shuddering breath.

"In that case you'll just have to trust me" Kelly replied, she gave a tiny nervous laugh as he ran his hands down her back. Her lips were so close but he didn't want to kiss them quite yet. He wanted to see what he could achieve with just his hands. Pulling at her shirt he lifted it until there was tiny strip of skin exposed above her pants. He ran his fingertips across it and was thrilled to feel her shiver in response. They maintained eye contact as his fingers drifted over her body. Communicating entirely in looks he knew she was struggling to remain still. In an attempt to feed her desire for more he pulled her shirt up over her head and dropped it to the floor. She stepped in until their bodies were pressed together and went to kiss him, he redirected her lips to his cheek then kissed her forehead. He could feel her frustration building but ignored it, turning his attention back to touching every inch of exposed skin. Tracing the outline of her bra made her think he was going to remove it, at the last second his hands dropped and removed her pants instead. She stepped out of them thinking about the underwear she would have worn if she had had any clue as to how their day would turn out. The practical black bra and green cotton underwear would have to do. Kelly couldn't have cared less what she was wearing, he just needed to communicate how much he loved her.

"Can I?" She questioned reaching for the hem of his shirt.

"Not yet" He replied running his hands down her arms, from shoulders to fingertips. With her hand in his Kelly led her to the bed, she obliged laying back until she rested on her elbows. He pressed a hand to her chest and she lay flat while he supported himself on an elbow above her. She expected a kiss now but instead he pressed his mouth to each of her eyes, loving the flutter of her eyelashes against his lips, then to her nose. He moved on to her neck as she questioned his intentions, surely he wasn't planning on avoiding kissing her the entire time. She bit her lip as his mouth rested in the valley between her breasts, his bottom lip obscured by the fabric of her bra. Lifting her chest from the bed she was pleased when his hands slid around and undid her bra. She couldn't help herself from pulling it off but then returned to lying still as he tormented her with his hot breath. Erin was wondering if he knew just how hard she was trying to let him have his way. When he leaned back to look her in the eye she found her answer, he knew and he was loving it. He snubbed her mouth again and moved down her neck, arms and hands planting soft kisses along the way. Paying particular attention to the brand new ring on her finger for a few moments. Shifting such that there was an elbow either side of her body he cupped her breasts, running his thumbs across her soft skin. He let his hands slide down, simultaneously tracing the curve of her breasts while kissing lower and lower down her middle. Her skin was on fire, she needed firm and certain where he gave soft and slow, so she groaned softly hoping it would encourage him. He laughed against her skin, moving upwards to see her face. "Patience" He whispered as he move his mouth down along her jaw. It was a feat of self-control not to turn her head and claim his lips. Her brain was overloaded with stimuli as he touched and kissed her body, moving at random to tease her.

"I'm being patient" She whined softly.

"It's worth it, isn't it?" He replied looking up at her. In her mind the answer was a very definite no. No amount of torturous touching was worth it when the same result could be achieved in seconds when things were done properly. At the same time she couldn't help but relish in how close he had brought her without even a kiss. His question remained unanswered as his mouth found her left breast, drawing out a moan and sending her mind spinning. She was so very close to edge now that all she needed was a little more, she wasn't going to get it anytime soon unless she chose to act. He could practically hear her mind working away, if he couldn't distract her again she would take control. Moving his mouth to her right breast while continuing to stimulate the left with his hand was his attempt to buy time. Unfortunately the shift was exactly what Erin sought. She grabbed him and pulled him off balance, his knee placed between her legs to steady him. Grinding against this leg was all it took, sending her spiraling as the orgasm ripped through her body. As soon as he saw it happening he pressed his mouth to hers. "You're so bad" He scolded when she regained control.

"You're so good" She countered kissing him as evidence.

"You're bad and you aren't always going to get your way" Kelly said firmly.

"I tried really hard" Erin complained.

"Try harder" He instructed before biting at her neck. She let out an involuntary whimper as she questioned what he had planned next. The sound spurred him to action and he bit, kissed and sucked at his way down her body. His hands ran down her sides stopping when they reached her underwear, she squirmed but he held her hips certainly.

"If you loved me you wouldn't tease me" She commented as his thumbs began to slide under the waist band of her underwear.

"It's because I love you that I tease you" He replied.

"Liar, this all for you" Erin argued though it couldn't possibly be true, so far she was the only one who'd benefited from his actions.

"Sssh" He said, reaching up to press his finger to her lips. She parted her lips and allowed her tongue to glide across his finger. He paused, watching her intently. Any self-restraint she had had up until that moment evaporated, as a plan formed in her mind. First she pushed his hand away then she struggled against him, eventually succeeding in climbing atop him. He groaned when he realized his turn in charge was over. Erin leaned down and kissed him, trying to be gentle. She had no idea how he managed to put aside his own urges for long enough to tease her but she was going to her best to figure it out. She stopped kissing him and pulled him up removing his shirt before starting on his pants. Seizing the opportunity she undid the button as slowly as she could, pausing to press her palm to his straining member before starting on the zip. Kelly knew she was delighting in her revenge. Getting his pants off proved to be considerably more difficult than she had expected, even so it worked to her advantage, every second was valuable. Pushing him back to the bed she leaned over him, pressing a light kiss to each of his closed eyes. He reached out and pulled her hips to his for a brief second of wonderful friction.

"Patience" She snapped as she pulled away, flopping down beside him for a moment. Starting at his shoulder she kissed her way across his chest, tracing a line between his navel and the top of his underwear with a finger the entire time. Kelly had wanted to resist, to show her what he meant when he asked for patience but she was succeeding in proving her point. Being teased certainly wasn't as much fun as doing the teasing.

"You win" He said shaking his head. Erin didn't bother to reply, victory meant she didn't have to wait any longer. She pulled off her own underwear, then his before claiming her prize. They paused for a moment, staring into each other's eyes while their bodies screamed for more. Rolling her hips slightly she leaned forward and kissed him. He started to move within her, slowly at first appreciating every second. The way her chest was heaving drew his eyes to her breasts, he sat up and kissed them softly before laying her back. She wrapped her legs around him, drawing his body flush against hers. He placed his hand next to her head, supporting himself on his extended arm he found the perfect angle. Now he was eliciting a moan with every thrust. Erin was close but he was closer, she opened her eyes drawn to the rapturous look in his. A devilish smile spread across his face as he lost himself, putting himself first for once. She groaned slightly then trailed him into oblivion. His mouth found her neck, just below her ear where the skin was most sensitive. Erin couldn't stop herself from crying out in pleasure. He sucked her earlobe into his mouth for a moment then stopped to watch as her eyes regained focus.

"You should propose more often" She commented sliding her hand up his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

"It wouldn't be as special" He said seriously.

"I'm hungry" She announced, not keen on seriousness. Erin sat up, pushing him off so that she could get up. Returning to the room a minute later she carried a tub of ice cream and two spoons. He laughed but accepted the spoon gratefully. "It's not a celebration without ice cream" she clarified.

"So we'll have ice cream at the wedding?" He asked, feeling slightly confused when her brow furrowed.

"Yeah" She answered as realization dawned, accepting his proposal meant a wedding. He wouldn't settle for something simple either, he'd want friends and family, cake and a stupid clothes.

"What's wrong?" He questioned, she was so deep in thought she hadn't even taken a second spoonful of ice cream.

"I want you, not a wedding" She answered honestly.

"Okay, we'll keep it simple" He said. Looking across at her, completely naked, smiling despite the spoon in her mouth he decided he didn't need a big wedding. All he needed was for Erin to be happy.

**Was that alright? I tried really hard to think of the cutest proposal and I knew Shay had to be involved! How will people react? Should they get married quickly or wait a while? What should their honeymoon involve? I look forward to reading your suggestions, see you on Tuesday :D**


	35. Chapter 35

"Good morning beautiful" Kelly croaked when he rolled over to find Erin watching him, a small smile on her face.

"Morning" She replied, reaching across to run her fingers down his arm.

"Feel any different?" He questioned grasping her hand gently before twisting her new ring until it was straight on her finger.

"Not really, sorry" She answered.

"Good. I don't want it to change a single thing" He said leaning across to kiss her gently. Erin placed her hands on either side of his face, pulling back to stare deeply into his eyes. She was still in awe of the fact that in a world full of people they had somehow found each other. "What?" Kelly asked, curious to know what she was thinking.

"I love you" Erin explained simply, emphasizing it with a slow, meaningful kiss.

"I love you" Kelly replied. They lay there for a long time. Erin eventually had to look away, fearful that if he stared into her eyes any longer he would be able to see into her soul.

"I'm going to go see what Shay's up to before she tries to break out again" She said pulling her dressing gown on over the shirt she had retrieved from the floor at some point during the night. His shirts were the most comfortable sleep wear and she was always looking to acquire them, preferably straight from his back.

"I'll make breakfast. Pancakes or eggs?" Kelly enthused, getting up to follow her.

"You know I can't resist your pancakes" She answered.

"Pancakes are on their way" He confirmed before descending the stairs confidently, the boot really did make his life easier. Erin proceeded into Shay's room, pleased to see Shay sitting in her crib, conversing with her lion.

"Good morning baby girl" Erin greeted as she moved closer. Shay looked up and smiled. She quickly discarded the toy and stood up, waiting patiently to be released.

"Mama" Shay replied, extending her arms up to indicate her desire to be lifted.

"How did you sleep?" Erin questioned as she lifted Shay and placed a kiss on her forehead. Shay babbled a nonsensical as she pulled her mother's hair. Erin loved to keep a running dialogue with Shay, even if it was mostly one sided. Once Shay was changed and dressed they headed downstairs to check Kelly's progress. The first pancake was quickly devoured, Erin tearing off pieces to share with Shay while they watched Kelly cooking. She let the rest of the pancakes stack up as she gathered their preferred toppings from the cupboards and fridge.

"Last one" Kelly announced proudly, pouring the remaining mixture into the frying pan. Erin started to carry things to the table, giving Shay a plastic plate so she could 'help'. After cornering Shay they managed to strap her into her high chair, it had recently become her least favourite place. As usual Shay struggled until she realised food was directly linked to compliance.

"Any plans for the day?" Erin questioned as she retrieved the pieces of pancake Shay had thrown to the floor.

"No, but we should do something" He answered.

"I think we should have lunch with Voight, then we could do something this afternoon. It's hard to figure out activities, with Shay and your leg to keep in mind" She said, Shay was old enough to enjoy a trip to the zoo but walking around all afternoon would be difficult on Kelly's leg.

"Sounds good, any ideas for the something?" He enquired hoping she had something in mind.

"Not really, she'll be ready for a sleep after lunch so we could take her to a movie" Erin suggested. "A children's movie" she clarified, just because Shay would be asleep didn't mean they could watch anything too loud or scary.

"There's that one with the dog, he lives at the firehouse and saves the day...Blaze" He suggested excitedly.

"Okay, if we can find it. Are you sure you want to watch a movie about firefighting? I avoid movies about police" She said though she could tell he was convinced it was a good idea.

"Shay will love it" He assured.

"Shay will probably be asleep" She reminded.

"Alright, I really want to see it" He admitted, though it he had made it very obvious that Shay wasn't the person he was thinking of when he requested the movie.

"Then we'll see it. Can you get her hands before she gets the syrup in her hair?" Erin asked watching as Shay's sticky hands got closer and closer to her head, at the last second Kelly managed to stop them. Erin handed him a baby wipe and he quickly set about removing the syrup.

"You go call Voight" He instructed once he was confident he had the situation under control. While Erin made the phone call Kelly decided to check the schedules of the local cinema's on his phone. Thankfully the movie was quite popular so there were plenty of sessions throughout the day, no doubt one would fit in with whatever they ended up doing for lunch.

"He's cool with it, I told him we'd bring the food though. I really think he should be taking it easy so he can get better faster" Erin shared when she joined him in the kitchen to help tidy.

"It's easier said than done" He said simply, she knew exactly what he meant, if she were in Voight's position she'd be doing her best to get back to work as well.

"Would walking to the bakery be too much?" She questioned, unsure how well his leg was healing. He had stopped taking pain medication as soon as he had gotten used to the boot but she was still surprised the doctor had been so easily convinced when it came to removing the cast.

"No, that's a good idea" He agreed. They made their way upstairs to get dressed and ready while Shay played hide and seek under their bed. Twenty minutes later they were well on the way to the bakery. Shay had walked the first hundred meters, painfully slowly, so Kelly had hoisted her onto his shoulders so the trip wouldn't take all day. Voight was opposed to 'fancy' bread so they chose a simple white loaf then decided on some delicate little lemon tarts as well. On the way home they let Shay walk some more. By the time they had showered, prepared lunch and dressed Shay they were running late. With everything packed neatly Erin took the car keys, determined to get there quickly but smoothly.

"Are you okay?" Erin questioned noticing the way Kelly was nervously fiddling with his necklace.

"Fine" He said, clearing his throat.

"Don't lie, what's wrong?" She requested.

"I'm just worried he'll be upset I didn't talk to him before proposing, I mean he's pretty much your dad" He explained knowing that anyone who wasn't a little afraid of Voight was most likely mad.

"He might be, but I don't care. Hopefully nothing he could have said would have made you change your mind" Erin said, confident that Voight would come around to the idea.

"Of course it wouldn't have. It's just tradition" He said quickly.

"We'll I'm kind of glad you didn't talk to him, or ask his permission or whatever. We already live together and have a kid, our relationship is far from traditional" She justified.

"Very true, it might not be traditional but it's perfect" Kelly said, reaching across to put his hand on her leg. "I was going to ask him though" He added softly.

"Really? Why didn't you?" She asked, unable to hide the surprise in her voice. Facing Voight to ask permission to marry his one and only daughter would be terrifying, she expected that he had wanted to avoid it at all costs. Kelly of course was busy trying to figure out if he should lie or not. 'Your partner told me not to' was hardly a fitting response.

"Yeah, he wasn't there when I went to visit. I didn't want to wait to ask so I just skipped it" He answered, feeling bad for lying by omission.

"You wouldn't really have been asking him though?" Erin questioned.

"Not really, just asking for his opinion, maybe some advice" Kelly said confidently though he really hadn't planned past getting into Voight's office. He was particularly glad Halstead had stepped in and prevented him making a fool of himself as well the possibility of facing Voight and Erin's wrath.

"Well you don't need permission and I don't think you needed any advice, it was perfect"' Erin said firmly.

"It didn't really happen how I planned" He laughed.

"Well I think it was great and I trust me I would have said no if I didn't think it was good enough" She said lightly.

"We'll I'm glad Shay took care of things because my plan was nowhere near that definition of perfect" He added.

"I am too, now let's go, I can't wait to see his face. I'm not sure if we should tell him or wait until he notices the ring. He's just had major heart surgery, I don't want to kill him" She thought aloud as she collected the food. Kelly helped Shay up the front path then carried her up the stairs before helping her press the doorbell. They were both well aware that Voight was some of the best police the city of Chicago had ever had but the time it took him to notice the ring on Erin's finger was truly remarkable. Almost the second the door opened he was arching his eyebrows questioningly, eyes fixed on the ring.

"Hanky" Shay greeted, using the name Olinsky had taught her back when she was spending afternoons at the district. She only continued to use it because of the amusing reactions that resulted. Erin and Kelly both sighed as they stepped into the house. Shay had provided the perfect excuse to bring up the engagement properly in a few minutes.

"Precious Princess" Hank replied happy to take Shay from Kelly. Erin made her way to the kitchen, leaving Hank, Kelly and Shay alone in the lounge room.

"I didn't know how to do things properly, I hope that's okay" Kelly tried to apologise.

"Don't sweat it, if she's happy I'm happy. You seem to make her happy, except for when you get yourself hurt, I wouldn't mind if you stopped that" Hank replied, giving Kelly a pat on the shoulder to convey just how much of a non-issue it was.

"I don't do it on purpose" Kelly defended.

"You run into burning buildings" Hank said dryly.

"Yeah I know" Kelly shrugged, it was an occupational hazard, something he couldn't avoid without switching occupations.

"Food is ready when you are...Is everything okay?" Erin asked as she walked into the room, they had both stopped speaking suddenly, as if they were guilty.

"Fine, congratulations kid" Hank said, pulling Erin into a hug before she had a chance to question them further.

"Thanks" Erin mumbled into his shoulder, Hank didn't hug very often so she assumed it meant they had his seal of approval.

"What's for lunch then?" He asked, trying to sound enthusiastic about eating. The medication he was on had suppressed his appetite to the point he was barely motivated to eat one meal a day. There was no way he'd let Erin think there was anything wrong though. Lunch went well, everyone relaxed and happy to be in good company. The sandwiches were a hit but a clear second after the lemon tarts. Kelly played with Shay to keep her awake while Erin tried to convince Hank to work from home for a little while. She knew it wasn't an option in his mind but she still felt obliged to voice her concern and support. The beeping of Hank's watch signaled he needed to take some medication, giving Kelly the perfect excuse to whisk his family away for the one o'clock session of Blaze. Erin laughed when they walked into the cinema, four minutes before the movie started. Kelly really was like a child in a candy store, practically jumping up and down with excitement to see the movie. The teen selling tickets had clearly seen the over enthusiastic parent scenario before and was happy to entertain Kelly's fussy seating requirements. Erin followed along happily, carrying Shay who had fallen asleep in the car.

"We'll have to save some popcorn for her" Erin whispered as they found their seats and got comfortable.

"I think she'll like it" He replied already scooping some into his mouth. Erin was the type of person who refused to eat popcorn before the movie actually started, Kelly knew but loved to frustrate her.

"This had better be good" She added as the film company logo flashed across the screen. An hour and a half in the dark with Shay sleeping sprawled out in her arms would seem like forever if the movie was boring.

"Don't worry it will be" He assured before turning his attention to the screen. They followed Blaze the dog on a series of increasingly incredible adventures, watched as he overcame adversity and emerged victorious. The movie was suitably fast paced and the dialogue well thought out to balance humour with the more serious theme.

"That was actually pretty good" Erin said as the credits began to roll.

"Can we get a dog?" Kelly questioned, dead serious.

"What?" She questioned, sure she must have misheard him.

"A dog, I've never had one" He explained.

"No, you have Pouch at work" She reminded, Pouch didn't officially belong to anyone but as the firehouse dog she was part of Kelly's extended family.

"But she isn't my dog" He replied, Blaze might be animated but he was sure he could get a fairly similar dog then train it up.

"You don't need a dog, nor do you really want one. Trust me they're more trouble than they're worth" Erin said, unprepared to even consider the possibility any longer.

"Okay" He grumbled, temporarily happy to let it go. After doing some research he would try again. Erin couldn't stop memories from her childhood flooding back, there was no way they were getting a dog. She became more and more convinced as she drove them home. Shay was still fast asleep so after transitioning her to her crib Erin and Kelly took the opportunity to spend some more time alone together.

**Hello! This update might seem a little late but I'm trying to adjust to the different timezone (it's a 2 hour difference). Perth is awesome so far but I'm staying with family so I don't have a set schedule, I'll write and post when I can but I can't promise it'll be daily. I really hope you liked this chapter, I'm trying to give you some cute Linseride before the drama of wedding planning begins :D I think tomorrow will cover the reactions of the members of the IU and Firehouse 51...**

**P.S - Blaze isn't a real movie, I totally made it up (I was going to use Planes Fire and Rescue but then I pictured a really cute animated dalmatian and came up with my own movie idea). **

**P.P.S - I didn't really proofread this...Let me know if you spot any mistakes (other than the usual Australian/American spelling differences). **


	36. Chapter 36

Despite her best efforts Erin was running late when it came to getting to work on Monday morning. It was hard to get motivated after such a wonderful weekend with her little family. When she had finally dragged herself out the door Kelly had been in the middle of trying to teach Shay the rules of ice hockey. Shay looked quite confused but still entertained her father with an occasional 'yep' or 'mhm' both of which she had learned from listening to her mother on the phone. Erin had woken up to find a reminder on her phone, Shay's first birthday was only a month away. This on top of the fact that Shay's Blackhawks jersey no longer fit forced Erin to realise that her tiny baby was growing up. Getting to work on time, leaving her baby home to continue to grow, seemed like a very low priority. When Erin did eventually arrive at the district she rushed in, eager to avoid a lecture from Voight.

"Lindsay" Platt called, Erin stopped and backtracked to the desk curious to see what Platt wanted.

"Yes?" Erin demanded.

"You're late" Platt said with a smile.

"Later every second" She explained before racing up the stairs, Platt's laughter following her the whole way to the top.

"We were starting to think you might not be coming" Voight greeted as she strode to her desk, threw her jacket over the chair and turned to check the whiteboard.

"Sorry" She murmured.

"Halstead, run her through what we have so far in the car on your way to interview the aunt" Voight instructed. Erin grabbed her jacket and followed Halstead out to the car. She could already tell it was going to be a long day.

"Good morning" Halstead remembered to say as he slid into the passenger seat.

"It's morning but I don't know about good" She answered, feeling a complete lack of motivation.

"Oh, Voight's just grumpy because the case is tricky not because you were late, Ruzek only arrived about a minute before you" He said, trying to encourage her to stay positive.

"Whatever" Lindsay replied, sliding her hands across the steering wheel, waiting for him to comment on the ring. Halstead spent the remainder of the trip bringing her up to date on the case. A married couple, Brian and Rachel Reid, with three small children had been found dead, yet there was no visible cause of death. The laboratory had found it to be a case of cyanide poisoning, something that was increasingly rare. Commander Fisher had allocated the case to intelligence after homicide failed to achieve anything in three whole days. Voight had expected it to be an easy way to start the week but so far it was as convoluted as a murder mystery novel.

"So Rachel's sister, Bronte, is the one who found the bodies. She's already given a statement but we need to make sure she didn't leave anything out" Halstead added as they got out of the car and made their way to the second floor apartment.

"Yes?" Bronte questioned when she opened the door a few moments later.

"Good morning ma'am, we're detectives with the Chicago Police Department looking to ask you a few more questions" Halstead explained, they both produced their badges as proof and were led into the apartment. It took a few minutes to get past the basic questions but soon enough they were learning more about the family, none of it seemed particularly relevant to the case though. After relaying the new information to the rest of the unit they decided to do some digging into Brian's business ventures. Erin made sure to accept files with her left hand, hoping that someone would eventually notice her new ring. It was disheartening when nobody seemed to notice but she tried to keep in mind that they were men, detectives alright, but still men. Erin started to suspect there was something more to the situation when she took a moment to get a coffee. Nadia sat eating a sandwich so Erin stopped to have a chat, she hadn't really had much of a chance to check in on her and now was as good a time as any.

"Hey, how have you been?" Erin questioned sliding into the chair opposite Nadia.

"Good" Nadia answered looking a little uncomfortable.

"Done anything fun recently?" Erin probed wondering when it had become so hard to talk to Nadia, they had been very close for a while but had drifted apart as life got in the way.

"Not really" Nadia shrugged. Erin noticed her gaze locked intently on the new ring and started to hope that Nadia would bring it up, she certainly didn't want to have to. Instead Nadia stuffed the last of her sandwich into her mouth and scurried away back to her desk. With a frustrated sigh Erin got up and headed for her desk, at least there she could pretend to be doing something useful. When it finally ticked around to four o'clock she started staring blankly at Voight's office door, surely any minute he would come out and tell them all to go home. They clearly weren't making any progress on the case, without a suspect who had both means and motive they were stuck. The combination of experience in knowing when to give up, go home and start afresh and wanting to be at home with family made Erin's mind cease productive functioning. When Voight did finally emerge to tell them to go home Erin realised she would soon lose her chance to announce her engagement. If she left it until the next day they would think she wasn't excited. She had just really wanted one of them to notice, Nadia had but hadn't said anything and Halstead had been acting a little odd all day. Something was going on but she didn't know what so she seized the opportunity.

"Um..." She started weakly, it was still loud enough to gain everyone's attention though. With all eyes fixed on her she felt pressured to continue but hadn't actually considered what she should say. "I just wanted to let everyone know that Kelly and I got engaged on the weekend" Erin finished, it sounded pathetic. She was quite shocked to hear Voight laugh.

"I'm really sorry kid" He said when he was finally able to speak again. Erin had used the time to scan the faces of her colleagues, all looking strangely guilty.

"What?" She demanded feeling less than impressed at being left out of something.

"Voight said he'd buy a round at Molly's if we didn't say anything" Ruzek informed.

"I don't understand. You bribed them so they wouldn't acknowledge it? What does that even achieve? It certainly isn't funny. I see you all as family and this is a really big deal, you'd rather free beer than bothering to congratulate me. Thanks a lot" Erin said, first turning on Voight then the rest of the unit. She paused momentarily to hear their response then decided she didn't really care. Angry and confused she marched out to her car, ignoring her phone as it started to ring. Erin was just buckling her seat belt when it started to ring for the second time, at least if she checked who it was she could decline the call she decided. Much to her surprise it was Kelly. "Hey" She answered straight away.

"Are you alright?" He questioned straight away picking up on the changes to her voice.

"Fine, what's up?" She said, turning the focus back on him.

"I was just thinking we could stop in at 51 for dinner to share the news. We don't have to if you don't want" He offered undermining himself for fear of being insensitive, something was clearly going on with her.

"Sounds great, I'm about to leave work now. I can drop by on my way home and see who's cooking" Erin suggested.

"They'll see the ring" He objected.

"Oh yeah" She realised watching intently as the rest of the intelligence unit arrived in the car park, she really didn't want to hang around any longer.

"I'll call and let them know we're coming, you just come home" He instructed.

"Alright, see you soon" She agreed dropping her phone into the cup holder as she moved to start the car. The drive home gave her time to mull over what had happened. Voight wasn't the type for jokes so she suspected he was more opposed to the engagement than he had let on at lunch. Surely he knew that asking everyone to pretend not to notice would hurt her, something he had never sought to do before. When she arrived home she decided to push her feelings aside and enjoy some family time. Shay had graduated to a puzzle with a piece for each letter of the alphabet so Erin joined in. Time seemed to slow down again as she savored every glance and jerky movement from Shay, soon enough she wouldn't need help doing puzzles. After that it would be no time before she was off at school, then to college and beyond, the thought was quite daunting for Erin.

"What are you thinking?" Kelly asked, unable to read her if she refused to look at him.

"She's just growing so fast and I'm missing it to go work with idiots" She explained.

"I thought you liked working and since when are they idiots?" He questioned.

"Since Voight ordered them not to comment on the ring, so I was waiting all day for someone to notice but they didn't. I was starting to wonder if they even care..." Erin trailed off unable to stop herself from pouring out the problem.

"That's stupid. Look, your family might be rude but mine aren't trust me. Everyone at 51 is going to be really excited for us" Kelly assured pulling her into a hug.

"I hope so, I was really excited. I just wanted to share that" She sighed. After a few minutes she started to feel better so he released her. She took Shay and headed upstairs so they could both get ready to leave. Kelly sure was right when it came to everyone at 51 being excited. As soon as they spotted the ring there were cheers and congratulatory hugs. Dawson was quick to jump in and offer to lend Erin her collection of bridal magazines, an offer Erin found difficult to refuse.

"So do we get an engagement party?" Otis questioned knowing it could be an opportunity to promote Molly's as a venue.

"Yeah of course, we just need to figure some stuff out first" Kelly assured as he looked across to check at Erin was alright. They settled down to chat while waiting for dinner. Brett and Cruz were in the kitchen working hard to combine their very different culinary approaches. Dinner turned out to be incredible, though Shay stole all the attention by colluding with Pouch to avoid eating any of the pumpkin. Having fed half her portion to the dog Shay was keen to get on and play, this largely meant crawling around under the table. At least it kept her entertained while her parents finished eating. They had ice cream to celebrate the occasion, Herrmann even revealed his secret stash of rainbow sprinkles. Erin, Gabby and Sylvie formed a group at one end of the table, discussing everything to do with wedding and party planning. Erin still wasn't sure she'd ever want something large scale but enjoyed the distraction none-the-less.

"Wait up! You can't get married" Mills declared.

"Why not?" Kelly was quick to challenge.

"Detective Severide doesn't sound nearly as cool as Detective Lindsay" Mills explained. Erin traded a look with Kelly, she hadn't even considered changing her name and she hoped he knew that.

"We'll figure it out" Erin interjected before Kelly could commit to either option. They could still be married and have different names. They both returned to their conversations knowing they would bring up the topic for discussion later on when they were alone. Erin managed to steer the conversation away from weddings ending up talking about how soon Shay's birthday was. "Has anyone seen Shay?" Erin questioned, panic rising as she scanned the room and couldn't spot her usually boisterous baby. Everyone was up and searching in a matter of seconds, no one quite sure when they had last seen her or what she was doing. Erin couldn't stop herself looking everywhere, even in places too small for Shay to fit. Thankfully it wasn't long before she was found.

"She's in here" Matt Casey called from his office, Erin and Kelly were the first to arrive, eager to see that Shay was alright. She had clearly made friends with Shay as the pair now slept together, snuggled against each other in the corner of the carpeted room. Feeling massively relieved they decided to take her home and get her to bed. It took another half hour to farewell everyone but in the end they made it home. Laying in bed side by side there were two subjects running though Kelly's mind for discussion.

"Shay and Pouch get on really well" He started, picking the easier battle first.

"We are not getting a dog" She answered quickly.

"Erin please, I'll look after it" He reasoned.

"You work 24 hour shifts" She reminded knowing it would be impossible for her not to get involved.

"At least tell me why you're so against the idea" He requested, if he knew her thoughts he could work around them to get what he wanted, a dog.

"I had a dog when I was little, really little, I barely remember her but I remember how she died" Erin answered struggling not to get emotional as she remembered the exact moment, in terrible detail.

"What happened?" Kelly asked too intent on knowing the full story to consider how painful it was for Erin to remember.

"My dad killed her, he got angry at me because I gave her a sausage. He should have hurt me, I tried to stop him but I was only really little so he beat her and killed her" She replied instantly brushing away the lone tear that escaped.

"I'm sorry" He said as he pulled her closer.

"I can't do it again, you get attached and then they die" She concluded pushing him away.

"Alright, I'm sorry" He apologised realising that tonight was definitely not the right time for serious discussions. Instead he held her tightly, letting her know that he was happy to accept her decisions if she provided valid justification. Erin struggled to get to sleep, the case, Voight's behavior and memories of her childhood all taking over her mind.

**Alright so today I had an idea: The person who writes the 100th review of this fic will receive a bonus one-shot (pairing and scenario of their choice - approx. 2000 words)...I'm both fishing for reviews and interested in broadening horizons as far as my writing is concerned. I will PM the person and from there they can make their requests (I will then post the completed one-shot and dedicate it to them). I know it isn't much but I feel like you guys deserve something special (especially my lovely loyal reviewers ). Additionally I'm on holidays so I'm in a really good mood :D **

**P.S - We are currently at 93 reviews.**


	37. Chapter 37

"What's wrong?" Kelly asked as Erin took out her frustrations on the clean dishes she was putting away.

"Nothing" She lied slamming the cupboard door regardless of the fact that Shay was still sleeping, Kelly had been as well only moments earlier.

"Voight" He guessed.

"I called in sick" She replied slamming the empty dishwasher closed.

"That bad?" He asked suddenly concerned.

"I just don't want to deal with it right now" She explained, she felt tired and confused. Her happiness shouldn't hinge on Voight's approval but he had done so much for her that she felt she owed him.

"What about the case you're working on? Don't those kids deserve to know who killed their parents" Kelly said hoping to motivate her to put the Voight drama aside in favour of the case.

"They can figure it out without me" Erin said after taking a sip of the scalding coffee.

"Okay then" He agreed, stepping past her to start preparing Shay's breakfast, combining the cereal and milk early gave it time to soften. Erin stepped back and watched as Kelly moved through his morning routine. Shay was perplexed to see her mother still there for breakfast but didn't let it distract her from her food. Erin attempted to go back to bed to read but she found herself stuck on the same line of text, reading it over and over again, unable to focus. Catching herself trying to solve the Voight dilemma she decided she needed to do something useful.

"Laundry" She said to herself as she jumped out of bed and headed purposefully through the house. She carried the sheets she had avoided folding over the weekend to the dining room table, laying fitted sheets out flat was the only way she could fold them into a somewhat regular shape. Halfway through folding the sheet she had a better idea. Erin picked them up and carried them to the couch. Kelly and Shay were in the process of destroying the city they had constructed using blocks but both stopped to watch. Erin dragged the coffee table out of the way then pulled the cushions from the couch to make walls. She stopped for a moment to admire her work then dashed to the dining room, returning with two chairs. A moment later she had completed the construction phase by draping sheets over her construction and moved on to furnishing. Pillows and blankets covered the floor inside the compact blanket fort. She crawled in, pulled a blanket over herself and lay down. Shay was quick to join her, almost collapsing the fort in the process. Kelly was hesitant to join in, concern for Erin growing as he watched her revert to such childlike behaviour. Eventually it got to the point he could no longer resist discovering the source of the laughter.

"Room for one more?" He questioned as he pulled the sheet across to make an entrance.

"Of course" Erin replied, shifting a little to make room for him. Kelly crawled into the space and lay down.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked reaching across to hold her hand.

"I'm not" She answered honestly for once. "But I don't want to talk about it, or think about it. I just want to spend some time with you and Shay, she's growing so quickly and I don't want to forget this" She continued.

"Alright, lets make some rules for our little sanctuary" He suggested after taking a moment to process what she had said.

"No talking about work" She suggested instantly.

"Or other people, this is a family only space" He informed.

"No nana" Shay voiced ensuring they kept her recent aversion to banana in mind.

"No lying or avoiding a question" Erin put forward after acknowledging Shay's rule.

"Only say positive things" He said triumphantly. The silence stretched as they both tried to think of new rules.

"I can't think of anything else" She said when she realised her mind had started to wander.

"Neither, I think that's enough though" He replied.

"We can always add more later" Erin reminded.

"Exactly. What now?" Kelly asked unable to resign himself to just laying around all day.

"Now we can talk" She stated.

"About?" He said, seeking clarification.

"Anything" She said, nodding resolutely.

"Mama, hug" Shay demanded before throwing herself at her mother.

"What are we doing for Shay's birthday?" Kelly asked simply.

"I really don't know, we have to have some sort of party though" She answered, she really just didn't want it to happen, Shay was the perfect age and size. Marking her birthday would only serve as a reminder that it was one less year she would rely on them.

"We have to have an engagement party too, that's a lot of organising" He complained realising he had spoken too soon.

"You're right, we can hardly combine them" Erin said with a sigh.

"Or could we? Shay's birthday party for lunch or in the afternoon then the engagement party at night. Having them both on the same day makes it worth flying in" He said, thinking particularly of Katie.

"I suppose we could, she's hardly going to remember it" She agreed as soon as she became aware of the viability of the situation. It would be a lot of work to host two parties in one day but it was possible.

"Should we have a theme?" He questioned moving from the technical side to the more fun.

"Or we could do it at the park or something so the house doesn't get completely wrecked" Erin proposed, never keen on making more housework than was already required.

"How about the zoo?" He asked after thinking about Shay for a moment, she liked her lion and making animal noises so it fit well.

"Do they do parties?" She asked.

"I think so but we could just set up on one of the patches of grass" He enthused, making it sound much easier than it would ever be in real life.

"But then there would be random people around" Erin said, highlighting the flaw in the idea.

"True...We'll think of something" He assured as they faded into silence again both trying to work out alternative venues. After a few minutes with no progress Kelly got distracted. "What type of cake?" He asked, eyes widening as he thought of the endless possibilities.

"Really? That's the next most important thing?" She questioned.

"Absolutely" He nodded.

"Shay what type of cake do you want?" She asked figuring that input from the birthday girl couldn't hurt.

"Sketti" Shay answered instantly.

"Spaghetti cake?" Erin asked using her tone to suggest Shay come up with another option.

"Pancake" Shay said.

"Now that's a good idea" Erin praised.

"We could make a giant stack of pancakes, rainbow ones with syrup and whipped cream between the layers" Kelly said, clearly keen on the idea.

"We? Are you volunteering to make it?" She asked.

"Sure, I'll have to practice to get the perfect recipe but I hardly think you'll complain about eating the samples" He agreed with a small laugh.

"I certainly won't" She said excitedly.

"Wait here, I have an idea" He said shuffling out with ease. Erin rolled onto her stomach, enjoying the freedom of the extra space as she wondered about Kelly's idea.

"What's that for?" She asked when he returned with a notebook and some pens.

"Draw it" He instructed as he tore out a page and handed it to her along with a pen.

"I can't draw" Erin protested.

"That doesn't sound very positive to me! Just try it" He enforced. Reluctantly Erin put pen to paper, drawing not only the cake but the layout of the entire table, every important party food plus a few of her own favourites.

"What do you think?" She asked handing him her rough drawing, he took a moment to analyze it before commenting.

"I think this is great, better than my idea" He said quickly moving his own piece of paper out of view.

"Show me" She demanded, he gave in and placed the picture before her. While she had focused entirely on the food his plan stretched to include her. His detailed nothing less than a ball pit and jumping castle.

"Now we have something to work towards" He said with a stiff nod. His biggest concern was figuring out how to get the jumping castle into the zoo. Drawing their answerer resulted in a stack of drawings, of varying artistic talent and skill as the day wore on. After they had exhausted the birthday party topic they stopped for a few moments, taking time out while Shay climbed all over them. Kelly made a trip to the kitchen and returned with ice cream for lunch.

"When did you buy this? I thought we ran out" Erin asked looking at the tub suspiciously.

"Yesterday" He admitted. After passing out the spoons the three of them sat in their sanctuary, each enjoying a different stripe of the Neapolitan container. Shay made a mess with a handful of ice cream, dripping pink ice cream across a white blanket. Without negativity it was easy to laugh off the incident and vow to fix it at a later date. After their unhealthy lunch, Erin made Shay eat a special baby muesli bar, they returned to planning and plotting. Inevitably the topic of the wedding came up so they both drew versions of their dream wedding, making notes and listening intently to the ideas they had in common.

"I think we need to focus on the two parties we've already committed ourselves to before we think about the wedding any more" Erin said as Kelly suggested she draw the wedding dress of her dreams, a task that was considerably harder than he made it sound.

"That's probably a good idea, I'm just excited" Kelly laughed rolling to face Erin.

"I'm excited too" She said pouring every ounce of motivation into making it seem like a genuine statement. Erin had tried to make it very clear that the purpose of the wedding was to fulfill his wishes rather than her own. She wanted Kelly not a big wedding with a dress or cake.

"We'll make it perfect" He guaranteed hoping that she was simply really good at masking her wedding related feelings instead of being disinterested.

"You'll be there, that's all the perfect I need" She said, indulging her desire to remind Kelly how strongly she felt about him more often. They spent the afternoon drawing up guest lists and silly seating plans before giving in to exhaustion for an afternoon nap. They woke feeling refreshed and eager to get back on with life. Erin regretted taking the easy out and found all the motivation she needed to talk to Voight, first thing in the morning. In the mean time she was going to try out a new recipe for dinner then watch some form of televised sporting event while enjoying Kelly's company. He carried her to bed just after the final buzzer rang out, ending the basketball game, and tucked her in. Kelly took a moment to be thankful for Erin, especially when she was at peace, externally anyway.

**Alright, I had a massive day and I almost fell asleep writing this...first time I've been that tired when writing. Sorry it isn't up to my usual standard :/**

**P.S - Still only at 96 reviews...keep them coming :D**


	38. Chapter 38

**So I ended up at a concert until midnight...then I got back to the house and found that my computer had picked up a number of viruses (I knew there was something I forgot to update the other day :/) it's all sorted now (I hope)...Anyway it means that this chapter is a bit short and disjointed, I still got out everything I needed to, just not in the best possible way. I didn't want to leave you hanging, I'll update properly tomorrow :D**

Erin was up and out the door before Kelly was fully awake. Heading straight for Voight's house she ran over the possible directions the conversation could travel, none were particularly appealing. She knew one thing for certain, she was going to marry Kelly, with or without Voight's support. Knocking on his front door she questioned how best to start the conversation.

"Erin, what's up?" He asked when he pulled the door open to see her pacing back and forth across his front porch.

"We need to talk" She said, pushing past him into the house. Leading the way into the sitting room she stopped and turned to check he had followed. "I don't know why you thought it would be okay to get the unit to ignore my engagement, but that's really not okay. You can ignore it if you want, though I'm a little confused because you seemed fine with it at lunch the other day. Basically I don't care what you think, the rest of the unit can form their own opinions, if they conflict with yours that's your problem not mine" Erin stated feeling instantly relieved.

"I'm sorry" He replied softly, slightly taken aback by her straight to the point approach. "I just want you to be doing this for you, not because it's what people expect" He added when he'd had a moment to think.

"I'm not a kid anymore, I am doing this for me, and for Kelly and Shay" Erin said with great conviction.

"I wanted to give you a chance to think about it before everyone came rushing in with opinions and advice. It didn't turn out how I intended at all, I am really sorry" He reiterated, he had known she wasn't sick but had no idea that this was what the problem had been. In truth he had regretted saying anything at all, he needed to learn to trust that he'd raised her right. It was hard to look at her and not remember the struggling teen she had been when they first met. At that point she had already been through so much and he knew she deserved a smooth run from here on out.

"Good. Just to clear things up, in case you're in any doubt, I love Kelly and I want to spend the rest of my life with him" She assured.

"I get that, I just know that up until he proposed you were against marriage" He reminded recalling the numerous conversations they had had on the topic over the years.

"I know, it just felt right" She answered, it was weak but there was no way to describe what she had felt in the moment that Kelly knelt down.

"Yeah?" He asked sounding skeptical

"How did you know when to ask Camille?" She questioned in the hope that relating it back to his own life would help him understand.

"It was just the thing you did back then, after you dated for a year or so, it was expected" He said, knowing well that she was right. There was a particular feeling associated with the realisation that that one other person was the one to spend the rest of your life with.

"But you still felt something, like you wanted to have a family and grow old together" Erin checked suddenly concerned her plan would backfire. Camille and Hank were such a strong couple, the perfect role model for her as a teen, surely there was more to it than societal expectations.

"Of course" He acknowledged, looking over his shoulder to check the time..

"Well that's how I feel with Kelly, I don't see the wedding as anything more than a way to celebrate that feeling" She justified.

"Alright, it's just a little sudden" Hank said finally.

"A few weeks ago you were bleeding to death on the floor of a crack house, maybe I've learned to seize the day" She defended quickly, it still wasn't a pleasant thing to bring up. Just the mental images were enough to make her feel nauseous. However, her words had the desired effect and he stopped for a moment.

"Are you coming to work today?" He questioned, figuring that questioning her logic was pointless.

"Yeah" She nodded.

"Well in that case, you're late, get going" He instructed, throwing in a small smile so she knew that everything was alright.

"I'll see you there" Erin assured.

"Erin, wait!" He called after her, she stopped on the spot and turned back to see what was wrong. "I'm so proud of you, everything you've managed to achieve over the years. Including building your own family with Shay...and Kelly" He said finally accepting that Erin's judgment would have to suffice, not that he really had any reason to dislike Kelly. There was just always the possibility that he could hurt her, apparently Erin loved him enough to take the risk.

The smile Erin gave him when he arrived at the district, a full twenty minutes after her, communicated clearly that everything was once again fine between them. He ordered them to work and made his way to his office, still displeased to remain behind when they went on raids. Explaining to Halstead the reasoning behind her day off was more difficult than she had expected but it was over by the time they arrived at the new gang head quarters. After receiving a tip off that the gang had moved they had decided it was the perfect opportunity to let their presence be known. They'd probably come away with a few minor drug offenses, nothing particularly dramatic.

Erin did not expect to have a gun pressed against her head only seconds after entering the house. Initially it was chaos, everyone yelling, her own instincts to fight only making the offender grip her hands tighter. Then things slowed as Halstead initiated negotiations, all the while watching as Antonio and Atwater made their way up behind the man holding Erin. Time slowed further, Erin had no idea what was going on behind her but could tell Halstead was trying to maintain her captors attention, she assisted by struggling as much as was possible. Forcing him to readjust his grip and providing the perfect opportunity for her colleagues to strike. The gun was gone and she was practically thrown from his arms, Halstead steadied her and checked that she was alright.

"Just part of the job" She laughed, slightly hysterically given the rush of adrenaline.

"Lindsay, you good?" Antonio questioned as Atwater roughly dragged their cuffed offender past the Halstead and Lindsay.

"Fine" She nodded. Erin was almost concerned at how just how lacking in fear she had been. At first the shock of the situation had gotten to her, then when the intelligence guys had started yelling she knew she would be alright. Voight might not have been there to save her but the rest of the unit were. They had done their jobs perfectly, just as she had expected. Erin put a round a Molly's on the line if they refrained from telling Voight about the whole thing, he would only worry and overdo his rehabilitation work to get back to protecting her. She understood that this was exactly the problem she had had with Voight, bribing the unit to keep quiet about something. Somehow though it was completely justifiable in her mind, ignoring the guilt she got to work on her report. Owing drinks at Molly's didn't actually mean drinks after work for her, she had a family she would much rather spend time with. She gave Halstead some cash then headed home. "Kelly we need to talk" She called as she kicked off her shoes.

"In here" He called back as softly as possible while still getting across the information. She found him on the couch, Shay sleeping against his chest. "What's up?" He asked.

"We need to set a date" She answered rushing into the kitchen, she returned with their calendar.

"What's going on?" He asked, still confused about their conversation.

"I had a bit of a close call at work, I don't want to wait forever to marry you so I want to set a date"

"Alright then" He agreed though he had to bite his tongue not to question the nature of her close call. Any close call was certainly enough to worry him.

"How about then?" She asked pointing to a blank weekend on the second page.

"I don't know, the weather could interfere" He answered sensibly, pulling the calendar from her hands so he could attempt to find it himself. "This is the best we can do" He concluded after flicking through the calendar.

"That's six months away" She complained slightly.

"You still have to work, and plan or organise the wedding. I'll be over before you know it" He promised as she took a seat beside him.

"Okay, done then. That's the date" She confirmed reaching across to the coffee table for a marker, all there was were stamping pens. Selecting an appropriate combination of red love hearts and yellow bell shapes she marked the day on the calendar.

"I'm already excited" Kelly admitted. Erin laughed then leaned across and kissed him, communicating her mutual excitement with actions rather than words. They settled in together to watch some television before dinner, Shay still sleeping peacefully oblivious to the drama that was going to unfold over the next few months. Wedding planning was rarely smooth but Erin was up for the challenge.

**Regarding my 100th review one-shot prize: According to the site I still only have 97 reviews (it is being spaz and doesn't count guest reviews...I think it's probably something to do with my settings but it's 2am so I'm not going to figure it out now...forgive me). I am going to count guest reviews and that makes Joy the winner! Congratulations! Now the problem is working out how we will communicate. I don't feel comfortable sharing my personal email as it includes my full name - tomorrow morning (wait...this morning!) I will make another email account and post the address with the next update so you can you can contact me (I'm making the assumption that you have an email account). That's the easiest way I can think of :D Happy? If not I guess you could just post any requests in a review, it's up to you :D**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hello, I am having the best time on holidays and I know you love fluff so this chapter is full of it! This fic has already surpassed my wildest expectations, I still have plenty in store but I might need to have some time jumps...I'm not really sure but I wanted to warn you ahead of time. You see when I published the first chapter of A New Beginning I had ten chapters already written, these days I write each chapter the day it's published...I want to get back to having a few chapters as a buffer but in the mean time I'm going to get back to enjoying my time in Perth and let you get on with reading :D**

"Erin, I need your help" Gabby requested over the phone.

"Sure, what's up?" Erin asked, Gabby had never asked for anything before but with the amount of babysitting she had done Erin was already open minded.

"I'm going wedding dress shopping this weekend, I was supposed to be going with my cousin but she can't make it so I thought you might like to come. You can try on some dresses too. It'll be fun!" Gabby said hopefully. Erin stopped to think for a moment it would potentially be a lot of fun but at the same time there was still heaps to do before Shay's birthday and the engagement party. With such a hectic work schedule it was approaching much faster than Erin had anticipated. This was a great opportunity to assess the choices, she wasn't a fan of big wedding dresses but she needed something.

"Alright, sure. Just send me the details" She agreed, it would only be a few hours.

"Really?" Gabby checked, having expected more hesitation or even the use of Shay as an excuse.

"Why not? You're right, it'll be fun" Erin enthused suddenly fully committed to the idea.

"Okay well I'll pick you up at seven on Saturday morning" Gabby replied, sounding equally enthusiastic.

"Seven?" Erin questioned, the weekend was her only chance to sleep in, even just to eight o'clock.

"Yeah, an early start is necessary if we're going to get to all the shops I have on my list" Gabby explained, clearly taking things much more seriously than Erin.

"So you're not planning on buying the first dress you like?" She asked.

"You're not allowed to let me, I have to check out all the options before I commit to anything" Gabby instructed.

"Can do, I've got to go but I'll see you on Saturday" Erin said as she watched Antonio and Atwater arrive back from their stake out.

"Sure thing" Gabby concluded. Erin scrawled 'Wedding Dress - Saturday' on a sticky note and attached it to her monitor. Then she listened intently as Antonio filled them in on the information they had found. The drugs were being smuggled from Indianapolis to Chicago disguised as acrylic nail powder, sold directly from cheap nail salons who employed hundreds of illegal immigrants. It was a much bigger operation than they had been expecting, and the new information signaled it was time to get the feds involved. As soon as they did they lost control of the case, something Voight loathed. It meant however that the unit got the afternoon off. Nobody had anything planned so Antonio organised dinner at a local pizza restaurant, the invitation open to everyone. Erin stopped at home to pick up Kelly and Shay, very glad that Antonio had deviated from the usual night at Molly's for something more family friendly. They stuffed themselves on pizza and enjoyed the novel, relaxed environment. Erin completely forgot to speak with Kelly about her new plans for Saturday.

* * *

><p>"What are you doing?" Kelly asked when Erin started setting an alarm for the next morning as they lay in bed on Friday night.<p>

"Setting an alarm" She answered, it was fairly obvious.

"What for?" He questioned, clearly confused.

"Oh, oops! I forgot to tell you I'm going wedding dress shopping with Gabby tomorrow" She realised suddenly.

"Tomorrow morning?" He asked. Erin wondered why he was being so slow.

"Yeah. Is that a problem?" She demanded, feeling frustrated that he seemed to be making such a big deal of it.

"I expected you'd look after Shay, I have to head in to the department headquarters to try and get them to clear Newhouse" Kelly explained with a groan, nothing was ever easy.

"Oh" Erin managed, now that she saw the problem she needed a quick solution. "I can ask Jay or Hank to watch Shay" She suggested.

"I'm sure Voight would enjoy spending some time with her" He said encouragingly, he was secretly still anxious about Erin finding out about Halstead's role in the engagement.

"I'll figure it out" She said before composing a text message to Voight.

* * *

><p>"Everything he could possibly need is in the bag" Erin said gesturing to the bag she had packed for Shay to take to Grandpa Hank's.<p>

"I've got it sorted, you have fun" Kelly assured as the clock ticked to seven o'clock. While it was inconvenient to have to make the side trip to Voight's house it was worth it if it meant Erin could have a little time off. She deserved it after working so hard over the last few weeks as a detective and as a fiancee and mother. He also couldn't wait to see what she chose to wear for their wedding, in his opinion she would look perfect in anything.

"I'll try" She promised, giving him a quick kiss before opening the front door.

"Don't let Gabby bully you into anything" He warned knowing Dawson particularly well.

"I won't" She nodded pleased to see Gabby pull up out the front. Kelly kissed her softly before allowing her to rush down the front stairs and climb into Dawson's car.

"Good morning" Gabby greeted cheerfully as soon as Erin pulled open the door.

"Morning" Erin replied as she secured her seat belt.

"First stop is the furthest away so we can talk about preferences on the way" Gabby informed as she followed the GPS's instructions to the main road. Erin felt completely out of her depth as Gabby discussed fabrics, styles and cuts like a professional, it all sounded complicated. All she wanted was a nice dress, simple, elegant and comfortable. Their first stop turned out to be a tiny boutique with a few dozen dresses to choose from, Gabby quickly communicated with the shop assistant to narrow that down to four possibilities. When the shop assistant asked Erin what she was interested in she made excuses about her first priority being Gabby. After all she was marrying Casey in just less than three months, all that was left to do was find the right dress. "What do you think?" Gabby asked when she emerged from the change room wearing the first of her choices.

"Honestly?" Erin questioned.

"That's why I brought you" Gabby nodded thought she was slightly worried about the criticisms that were about to be voiced.

"It looks like you gave some toddlers a roll of toilet paper each so they ran around wrapping you in it" She answered.

"But I really like it" Gabby said, looking to the shop assistant for support.

"You look wonderful" the shop assistant persuaded, Erin wondered just what a designer dress like that would cost.

"I really like it Erin" Gabby repeated looking at herself in the mirror.

"Try on a different one" Erin instructed. Unfortunately it was downhill from there, each dress worse than the last. Thankfully there were only four, Erin was running out of tactful ways to say 'you look terrible'. Gabby had her heart set on the first dress, Erin had to step in when the sales assistant started pressuring Gabby for a deposit. "You told me not to let you buy until you'd seen all the options" She reminded as she dragged Gabby back to the car.

"That doesn't mean you have to be rude" Gabby snapped back, quite unused to not getting her way.

"Oh please, she just wanted the money" Erin grumbled in response. The only positive was that she had been able to acquire the right to drive. Even in an unfamiliar car Erin was quick to begin making evasive traffic maneuvers. If the hour and a half it took to try on four dresses was anything to go by it was going to be a very long day.

"Now we do the whole thing all over again, even though the perfect dress for me is back at the other store" Gabby said as she held open the door for Erin. She was forced to take her statement back when she fell in love with another dress. "How about this one?" She asked, giving a twirl to ensure Erin didn't miss a detail.

"You said no zippers" Erin interjected.

"Good point, but otherwise alright?" Gabby questioned.

"Do you really want that much fabric? It seems a little excessive" Erin asked honestly, it was better than a blatant no.

"Alright, that rules out those two as well" Gabby instructed the shop assistant. Three stores and two coffees later Gabby decided it was time to get Erin into a dress. Without any idea what she wanted it was easy for Gabby to make suggestions for Erin. Their opinions on what looked good conflicted strongly. "Lace is so last year" Gabby said pretentiously, having read all the bridal magazines she could find.

"Since when do I care about trends?" Erin asked before taking a moment to admire herself. The full white dress was so elegant it would have made anyone look good. It was far from spectacular though. Once Gabby had played the critics role for three dresses she decided it was time to turn the focus back on herself. Erin was rather relieved but also resolved to stop lying. "No" She said as soon as the curtains parted, Gabby stepped back behind them and got started on the next dress. Erin might not be up to date on what was considered fashionable but she was awfully good at suggesting the most appropriate gowns.

"I really, seriously, actually, properly think this is it" Gabby announced two hours later as she admired herself in yet another floor length mirror. Erin struggled for a second, she had started to see her role as that of the devils advocate, with this dress though there were no flaws.

"I really, seriously, actually, properly think it could be. You look amazing" Erin replied.

"There's nothing you don't like about it?" Gabby questioned.

"For you it's perfect, exactly what you've been describing all day" Erin assured, it really did look stunning.

"What about the beaded one from before?" Gabby asked, bringing up the previous favourite.

"This one is way better" Erin confirmed.

"I'm not allowed to buy it today, I promised Matt I'd sleep on it! He doesn't want another invitation debacle" Gabby sighed. Erin was well aware that Gabby and Matt had had their invitations made only for Gabby to stumble across a theme, requiring alteration to the existing invitations. In the end they had been forced to start afresh.

"This is the last one we have in stock and it's limited edition" The sales assistant announced, Erin had really grown to hate their typically unhelpful comments.

"Can you put it aside for me? I'll come back tomorrow and pay for it"

"I'm not supposed to" The sales assistant said, making it sound almost painful.

"But you will for me" Gabby insisted authoritatively.

"I can pay the deposit, you won't be breaking your promise and you won't miss out on the dress" Erin suggested.

"Erin, no" Gabby said, shaking her head.

"I'm serious" Erin said to the sales assistant.

"I can't let you do that" Gabby worried

"Do you know how much I'd owe you if I had to pay for all the babysitting you've done for me?" Erin questioned.

"You're sure?"

"Certain" Erin said moving to the counter to pay the deposit.

"Thank you" Gabby said for the first of what would soon be a thousand times.

"Can we go home now?" Erin asked hopefully as they made their way around the block to the car.

"No! Now we have to find you the perfect dress, there are two more shops" Gabby protested.

"What if we see a dress you like better than the one you've just committed to?" Erin asked, slightly concerned that looking at more dresses would be tempting fate.

"I won't, I'm not looking for me anymore, just for you" Gabby assured, determined to return the favour in actions not just words.

"Fine, one more shop" Erin agreed.

"Tell me again what you're looking for" Gabby said as they started making their way to the next shop on the list.

"That's the problem, I don't really know" Erin sighed, she had a vague memory of a dress she liked but couldn't recall where she'd seen it.

"What do you like then?" Gabby asked.

"I don't care how last season it is, lace can be nice. Definitely not strapless" Erin said, the search for the closest car park began all over again.

"Yeah that works, what don't you like?" Gabby wondered, feeling like it might be more of a challenge than she'd thought.

"Poofy, I hate big! I need to be able to move normally, or relatively normally" Erin replied instantly. They made their way into the store, Gabby was a completely different person, intuitive and thoughtful in her dress suggestions.

"It's still not right" Erin said, sounding defeated. It was the last dress that fit all her criteria and it was still wrong. Even though she had never expected to find the perfect dress that day it was still frustrating to see so many good dresses but not a single great one.

"Home it is. I'll lend you some magazines so you can find something specific you like" Gabby resolved.

"Thank you" Erin remembered to say. Truth be told she couldn't wait to see Shay. Weekends were usually strictly for family, she didn't regret the day she'd had but she wanted to make it up to Shay. She was so impatient that she headed to Voight's house instead of her own. After a quick farewell to Gabby she made her way up the stairs, she didn't even stop to knock.

"How did it go?" Voight asked while watching Erin greet her daughter with a hug.

"It's madness" She replied honestly.

"Reconsidering?" He teased playfully.

"After the fifth shop, yeah!" Erin laughed.

"Five shops?!" He asked, shocked to think there could be anything so complicated it took five shops worth of options to find.

"More, I lost count. Gabby got a dress though" She said trying to remember the positive.

"No luck for you?" He wanted to know.

"Not yet, I still have ages to figure it out" She answered swinging Shay around on her hip, she noticed the photo on the mantle and stopped. That was it. That was the dress she had been looking for. It all made sense. When Voight had decided to take her in as a kid he had brought her home and made her wait in the sitting room until he had a chance to talk with his wife. Sixteen year old Erin had been left alone in the room with that photo, and two others. She'd studied them carefully, hoping that the kindness in the eyes of the woman in the pictures would be there in real life. Since then photo after photo had been added, one of Kelly, Erin and Shay sat at the far end. Pulling herself back to reality Erin reached out and ran her fingers along the frame.

"She looked so beautiful" Hank commented following her eyes to the photograph of himself and Camille on their wedding day.

"Yeah she did" Erin agreed, Camille had been the mother she had always wanted.

"Do you want me to see if I can find it?" He asked. "The dress" He clarified after a moment.

"Do you still have it?" She asked cautiously.

"Of course, I'm not sure where but give me a few days and I'll find it for you" He guaranteed.

"I'd love that" She nodded.

"You don't have to wear it, it might not even fit" He warned hesitantly.

"If it does though, that would be perfect, it would be perfect" Erin said before starting to worry that she was getting ahead of herself, she wasn't anything like Camille, tall and willowy, Erin shorter and stronger.

"I'll find it then. You'll look amazing in whatever you choose to wear, you can have it modified however you like. Camille would have loved all this wedding fuss" He said, giving a small, sad smile. Camille had been his soul mate, living without her was painful, especially in moments like these when he was overcome with pride.

"Probably, I feel like I need her help if I'm going to pull it off" Erin disclosed.

"It'll be great, I can always help out if you need" He assured feeling that the least he could do was be supportive.

"I know, thanks" She smiled.

"I might just go look until Kelly gets here" Hank said, leaving Erin and Shay to play together. Erin called for Voight the moment Kelly pulled up. She desperately wanted his search to have been a success but at the same time couldn't wait around while Shay needed dinner and bed. "Here you go, it was in the spare room just like I thought" Hank said holding up the dress carefully, even though it was protected in a bag.

"Can I come by and look at it in tomorrow? I don't want Kelly to see it" Erin requested.

"See what?" Kelly asked, as he pushed through the front door, Hank was back up the stairs in no time, hanging the dress on the back of the nearest bedroom door.

"Nothing, sure thing Erin" Voight assured as he made his way down the stairs.

"Thank you so much, we have to get her into bed" Erin said gesturing to Shay who was yawning in her fathers arms.

"Anytime" He reiterated as he followed them outside, waving from the front porch while they drove away. Seeing Erin in Camille's wedding dress would be incredible, a moment any father would be proud to witness.

**So Gabby came across as a little snobby in this chapter, I really like her as a character but I can see that she would be a complete bridezilla! I tried to redeem her in the end. Hope you liked this. **

**Joy: I made an email account but I can't post the address here due to the security settings (I even tried in a review...didn't think it would be an issue). Any chance you can just make an account so we can PM? It's super easy...if not you'll just have to tell me what you want in a review. I really didn't think it would be this complicated :D**


	40. Chapter 40

After a quick dinner, and even quicker bath Erin put Shay to bed. Kelly hadn't bothered to help, a clear sign his day had not gone well, so Erin was eager to find out what had happened. The fact that he was on his third beer only confirmed her fears, something bad had happened. She knew that Squad 3's response to their final fire in Colorado had been the source of an investigation. With both Kelly and Rick Newhouse having been hurt it was important to review the situation. Putting the excitement and nervousness about Camille's wedding dress out of her mind she joined him on the couch.

"Hey" He greeted enthusiastically, the beer starting to affect him.

"Hey" She replied not sure how to start the conversation tactfully. "How was your day?" She settled on, waiting until the adverts to speak.

"I don't want to talk about it" He said firmly.

"Please, it'll help" She persisted.

"No, go away" He said giving her a warning look. Erin felt frustrated but at the same time knew that shutting down was often her own response to a bad situation. Since becoming a parent she hadn't resorted to alcohol, something she was thankful for, it never seemed to help. Concluding that something bad had happened and that he was in a bad mood left Erin two choices. After giving his hand a firm squeeze, an attempt to convey support, she chose the easiest option and left him alone on the couch. Feeling much more relaxed after a shower she allowed her mind to float back to the wedding dress. She wanted to be excited but at the same time wanted to prevent the disappointment that was sure to result. Inspecting herself in the mirror she realised that the chances of the dress fitting, let alone looking flattering were slim. Then she felt bad for thinking about the dress instead of whatever crisis Kelly was having. Putting both subjects out of her mind she lay in bed and scrolled through the most current to do list she had on her phone, occasionally making amendments.. They really needed to start getting organised for their party spectacular. Party planning was a great distraction and boring enough that she got to sleep quickly.

"I'm going to quit my job" Kelly announced as he stumbled into the bedroom at some point later that night. Erin was startled awake by the sudden noise and felt particularly angry to have been woken by his drunken rambling.

"I'm trying to sleep" She grumbled, rolling to face the wall while pulling her second pillow over her head.

"I'm serious, I don't want to be firefighter anymore" He insisted, tugging the pillow out of the way.

"Shut up and go to sleep" She instructed using her most commanding tone.

"Erin, I love you" He transitioned to as soon as he saw his words weren't having the desired effect.

"Kelly, please" She pleaded, too tired to continue her previous approach. He leaned across to try and kiss her but she shoved him back, pushing him until he was lying flat on his back. "Go to sleep."

"But I love you" He whined.

"I love you when you do what I ask" Erin said encouragingly before rolling away and replacing her pillow. He continued to talk senselessly for a few moments then drifted off to sleep, snoring loudly. She desperately wanted to get back to sleep but her mind wouldn't allow it. There was simply too much to figure out, especially if Kelly continued to distance himself. She knew that in the scheme of things the stupid dress should be her lowest priority but the possibility of it fitting kept running through her head. If it didn't she would have to try and get a replica made, something that would surely be difficult as far as budgeting and time constraints were concerned. She had no idea how long she stayed awake just thinking but it definitely left her feeling less than when she woke up in the morning. At least she wasn't feeling as bad as Kelly, she personally thought he deserved the hangover. After a quiet morning with Shay she decided to seize the opportunity and get the dress trial over. Hank was pleased to see her and took over with Shay while Erin headed to what had once been her bedroom to change. It technically was still her bedroom, nothing much had changed over the years. Unzipping the garment bag she was thrilled to see that the beautiful white dress was in perfect condition. She touched the lace sleeve carefully then set about removing her outer layer of clothing. Pulling the dress from the hanger she noted just how light it was, unlike some of the dresses Gabby had forced her into the day before. The two dozen tiny buttons up the back of the dress made it difficult to get on, she didn't want to ask Hank for help though. Once the buttons were fastened she allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief, so far so good. Hitching the skirt up she moved to face the mirror, letting the fabric fall she took in every detail of the dress. Perfect, delicate lace showing off the skin of her shoulders and arms then covering the white bodice. The bottom half of the dress was exactly what she had been looking for, not excessively tight nor poofy. Looking past the dress to herself she was amazed the dress would need some minor alterations but otherwise made her look incredible. It took a few moments just to peel her eyes away from the mirror, enjoying feeling pretty for once. "Hank, do you want to see it?" She called from the landing. A length adjustment was definitely necessary after she'd almost tripped as she walked.

"On my way" He replied lifting Shay from the floor, leaving her unsupervised would be asking for trouble.

"What do you think?" She questioned as soon as he came into view.

"I just..." He started. Erin looked up, wanting him to continue, and realised he was crying. Feeling completely out of her depth she moved towards him, eventually pulling him into a sideways hug.

"I'm sorry" She comforted as he turned away to compose himself.

"Don't apologise for being gorgeous. You look amazing, do you like it?" He questioned unsure how to redeem himself following his moment of weakness. He would have given anything for Camille to have seen this moment, the scrawny street kid they had invested time and love in had turned into a princess. The dress was stunningly perfect on Erin, of course it was very different to how it had looked on Camille but still just as beautiful.

"I love it, it's amazing. I feel strange in it though" She answered honestly.

"Like I said yesterday, you don't have to wear it" He reminded.

"But I will, I really want to. If that's still okay?" Erin questioned still not sure what had caused his reaction.

"Absolutely" He assured nodding eagerly.

"Thank you" She said hugging him again. Shay tried to grab at the dress but Erin pulled away, hesitant to put it in danger between now and the big day.

"You can keep it here for now. How about staying for lunch?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah alright" She agreed, it was hardly as if she was looking forward to going home.

"I'll leave you to it" He said, stepping back towards the top of the stairs.

"Hank, can you unbutton me?" She questioned turning around, it really would halve the time it took to get it off.

"Sure, here" He replied handing Shay over. Erin kept Shay at arms length, she couldn't afford to ruin the dress at this point. Just as her arms started to shake from over exertion Hank finished the task. He took Shay back and headed downstairs to start lunch while Erin removed the dress, hesitantly. She took great care to hang it properly then stored it in the wardrobe alongside clothes she hadn't seen for years. Once dressed she joined Hank in the kitchen, thankfully he'd decided on simple ham and salad sandwiches. Erin made a deconstructed version for Shay and poured juice for everyone. Erin took the opportunity to question Hank on all things wedding related, like a typical guy he hadn't really contributed to any of the planning.

"At this point the dress is all I have" She commented with a small laugh, while it was an important component it was hardly the defining point of a wedding.

"No ideas for a venue?" He questioned.

"Well I hardly want to copy you and choose a church" She answered. Erin had ruled out churches straight away, much too traditional.

"Everything will fall into place, don't worry" He said, hopeful they could change the subject to something more interesting. Like always they ended up talking about work. Before Erin knew it the day had disappeared.

"I really should get home" She commented as they packed away the box of family photos he had brought out mid-conversation. Without them she probably would have left hours earlier. There was a particular type of happiness that stemmed from reflecting on good times.

"I'll see you in the morning" He answered making sure to hand her Shay's lion. Erin tried to form a plan on the way home, it was difficult without knowing how Kelly would be feeling. He might even be ready to talk, she held hope but also concern. What if the investigation hadn't gone well for him? His midnight ramblings about quitting his job had to be caused by something. All hope of a resolution left her when she arrived to find him on the couch, drinking again. He must have made a trip to purchase more alcohol because the number of empty bottles exceeded the supply they had had in the fridge.

"Kelly" She complained, too frustrated to bother arguing properly. She put Shay down on the floor then started collecting the bottles from the coffee table.

"You're in the way" He snapped leaning absurdly far to the right to see the television past her. Erin didn't trust herself to respond so she kept her mouth shut. After taking the empty bottles out to the recycling bin she returned to the lounge room. Snatching the remote from the arm of the couch she flicked the television off. Shay was playing with her toys in the corner so now was as good a time as any to talk.

"I was watching that" He said turning to face her properly.

"We need to talk, or rather, you do" She replied calmly.

"I can't talk about it because I don't understand it, please Erin just let me drink" He responded after downing the last bit of his beer.

"Why don't we do something fun with Shay instead?" Erin suggested knowing that bringing Shay into the conversation usually helped him see sense.

"No" He said, punctuating it with a shake of the head.

"I can't just let you keep drinking" She said as he rose from the couch and made for the kitchen. He returned with another beer in hand.

"If it's a problem I'll go to Molly's" He proposed as a simple solution.

"What? So you can embarrass yourself in front of your colleagues?" She demanded, already fighting the urge to yell, Shay the only thing stopping her.

"Erin please" He shrugged.

"No Kelly, tell me what's going on, tell me what you do understand, tell me something" Erin said quickly. "Anything" she added in a whisper.

"Talking isn't going to fix the problem" He said smugly taking a mouthful of beer.

"Well I don't know that! Because you won't talk to me" She hissed, looking across to see Shay watching them intently. "Stop drinking" She added as an afterthought, reaching across to pull the beer from his hand.

"No" He argued, holding the bottle firmly.

"Kelly" She groaned, refusing to let the bottle go.

"If I stop drinking will you leave me alone"

"No! We have to talk eventually, please just get it over with now" She pleaded. The words must have struck a chord because he instantly doubled his efforts to keep the beer in his hand.

"I am not going to talk, please shut up and go away" He said calmly gripping her wrist until she was forced to relinquish her grip on the bottle.

"Kelly?" She asked as she wondered whether crying would aid or worsen the situation, his behaviour had her close to tears already.

"What Erin? You want me to tell you everything? I'm not going to. Want me to stop drinking? THAT I CAN DO!" He yelled suddenly, throwing the bottle against the nearest wall. Now they were both standing, eyes locked, fury seeping from every pore. Shay was screaming in the background, ignored by both parents momentarily. Erin took a moment to calm herself, the adrenaline coursing through her veins made her sure she could fight him physically. In the end she decided on a more emotional attack. She twisted the ring from her finger and handed it to him before scooping up Shay and leaving the house. Once she was in the car she let the tears fall, eyes stinging and blurring making it impossible to drive. She didn't understand what had happened but she didn't want to, her attempts had failed and she was giving up before anything more serious happened. He wasn't the person she had thought he was if he was capable of terrorizing Shay just to make his point. Shay deserved more, Erin too. Realising this she wiped her eyes and started the car.

"Did you forget something?" Hank asked when he pulled open the door, he had seen her car pull up in the driveway. He knew his assumption was wrong the moment he saw her. "Come in, tell me what happened" He said placing his arm around her shoulders to guide her into the lounge room.

"Kelly's being an idiot" She managed before starting to cry. Just thinking about him made her feel sick. She wanted him so much, needed him, after everything they had been though together she was sure they could handle anything together. She would never have accepted his proposal otherwise. Now she wasn't even sure there was going to be a wedding, or a relationship.

**Oh no! More drama :P Just when you all thought I was going to stick to some minor wedding related drama... What's caused Kelly's stupid behaviour? **


	41. Chapter 41

Waking up in her old room made her feel like she had moved backwards. Feeling more out of control then when she had first moved in with the Voight's she took a moment to collect her thoughts before getting up. Having decided to pretend nothing had happened she got on with getting ready for work. Shay was unusually quiet and didn't even seem to mind when Erin had to improvise her breakfast. Completely unprepared Erin didn't even had clean clothes let alone the special fortified infant cereal Shay was used to. Hank made an effort to tread lightly around Erin, hopeful that she would talk to him when she was ready.

"You don't have to come to work today" He offered considerately.

"Of course I do, I've taken so many sick days I should probably be paying the department" She replied with a small laugh.

"What about Shay?" He asked.

"I'll call Cindy in a few minutes" Erin replied as she double checked her watch, it was still quite early.

"Alright, whatever you need, I'm here" Hank assured before heading upstairs to get himself ready for work. Erin was struggling with the sudden transition, just days earlier it had been Hank she was annoyed with. Focusing on getting ready for the day ahead Erin dressed Shay, thankful for her over-preparedness when it came to storing a clean outfit in the car. Finding clothes for herself was a little more difficult. Searching through the wardrobe yielded passable results, all the while trying not to look at the dress hanging right at the front. Taunting her with its perfection. Erin wanted to wear the dress, wanted to see Kelly's face when he saw her in it, she wanted the wedding as much as, if not more, than before. She resolved to fix things with Kelly. In the darkness the night before she had allowed herself to be angry and upset, the daylight forced her to realise the stark reality, all she had to do was forgive him. That process couldn't start until after work though. Checking her watch she pulled out her phone and made the call to Cindy, who was a little surprised but completely happy to take care of Shay.

"I'll see you at work" Erin called to Hank as she finished preparing to leave. Cindy was very excited to have Shay back and Erin was pleased to see Shay equally as keen. She felt particularly thankful that Cindy was so relaxed, and didn't even try to pry into the reasoning behind the sudden return.

"Nice to see you Shay" Chris commented when he stepped around her as he entered the kitchen to find his wife talking with Erin.

"It's been too long hasn't it" Cindy said to her husband.

"Well I expect they've been rather busy, big party coming up next weekend" He said giving Erin a small smile.

"That's right, very exciting" Cindy beamed.

"It is" Erin lied looking from Cindy to Chris. "Can we have a word?" Erin asked him.

"Sure" He agreed giving his wife a look.

"I'll go check the boys are ready for school" Cindy nodded, she was curious to know what was going on but didn't want to intrude.

"What's up?" Chris asked eager to know what Erin wanted to talk about.

"Do you know what happened yesterday at the department meeting Kelly went to?" She questioned seeing this as a great opportunity to get the information she desperately needed to fix things with Kelly.

"Oh it's a big mess isn't it" He said shaking his head.

"Yeah, but what actually happened?" She asked hoping he had the details.

"The department were okay with the Colorado situation, not happy with Kelly but there wasn't much they could do about it since they weren't technically in charge at the time. Then it got to be all about Newhouse, he's been off with a shoulder injury. After all this recovery time and two assessments by doctors he was ready to be cleared for duty, problem was only one of the doctors agreed. To settle it the department ordered a third evaluation, Rick wanted to get it over with so he was squeezed in and saw the doctor yesterday afternoon. Kelly watched his kid. That doctor found something new, ordered some tests and it turns out his shoulder is worse than they thought and he'll need surgery to fix it. After that he'll never be able to work again" Chris explained, suddenly things started to make more sense.

"And Kelly blames himself?" She realised.

"Of course he does, if he hadn't run into the barn he wouldn't have been crushed, and Newhouse wouldn't have needed to rescue him" He said, sounding as though he agreed that Kelly was to blame.

"Thanks" Erin said after a quiet moment in thought.

"No problem, I'm guessing Kelly didn't want to talk about it" Chris guessed.

"Not all" She answered, her tone suggesting there was considerably more to the situation. All of a sudden aware of just how late she was going to be Erin thanked him again, said goodbye to Shay and rushed off. Work was a pleasant relief, giving her something else to think about. The entire department was doing an audit of CI's which involved plenty of paperwork as well as getting out on the streets to reconnect in person. In the process they gathered a substantial amount of information, it wasn't relevant quite yet but every little bit was sure to help at some point.

"Lindsay, with me" Voight ordered in the early afternoon.

"What are we doing?" She asked, though she was following him obediently.

"Checking in with a CI" He answered.

"Last time we did this you were shot" She reminded.

"I've known this guy for years, he isn't about to shoot me. I don't need backup, I just thought it would be a good chance for us to talk" He explained as they got in the car and started traveling through the busy streets.

"Anything in particular you want to talk about?" She questioned, she knew he wanted to talk about the Kelly situation but she could feign ignorance and hope he changed his mind.

"You know what I want to talk about" He said, taking the opportunity while they were stopped at a red light to give her a serious look.

"I'll sort it out" She replied quickly.

"I was thinking it might help if I go talk to him" He suggested.

"No offense but I know you're not the talking type" Erin said, she was right, his typical approach required force.

"I'll give it a go if it helps" He defended quickly, he just wanted to help.

"I don't need your help, this is between us, I'll figure it out" She answered determinedly.

"At least let me watch Shay, that way you can talk things through without being interrupted" He said carefully, wanting it to come across as an order while not wanting her to fight for the sake of fighting the way she usually did.

"Alright then" She agreed without hesitation. The meeting with the CI went smoothly, as did the rest of the afternoon. That didn't stop the growing sense of dread in Erin's stomach, the discussion she planned to have with Kelly would make or break their relationship for good. She just hoped that he hadn't been drinking so they could talk properly. Picking Shay up from the Herrmann's only to then drop her off with Voight made Erin feel like a terrible parent. She rationalised that letting Shay down for one afternoon in order to ensure she had both parents in her life was a reasonable compromise.

Going home had never made Erin feel so sick. She stopped at the top of the stairs and took a deep, calming breath then unlocked the door and made her way into the lounge. The television was on but Kelly was nowhere to be seen. She recognised the sheet of paper on the coffee table and approached to get a better look, a police notice for driving under the influence. The time recorded was ten in the morning. Could things get any worse?

"Oh, hello" He commented, unfazed, entering the room with a plate of buttered toast. Erin returned the ticket to the coffee table then straightened herself to face him.

"Hi" She replied. In the silence that followed a lot was communicated.

"I'm sorry" They both said at exactly the same moment, both allowing a tiny smile to flicker across their faces in recognition of their synchronicity.

"Does that mean..." He started.

"Can I..." She said stopping when she realised she was cutting him off. He pulled the ring from his pocket and held it out for her. Erin took it gladly and slipped it back onto her finger.

"What are you sorry about?" He asked.

"Everything" She answered simply.

"I'm really sorry, I would do anything to go back and change things"

"I know" She nodded.

"I thought I'd screwed everything up" He admitted, tears shining in his eyes.

"I did too" She said softly.

"Then why are you here? For Shay?" He questioned worried that she had forgiven him way too easily.

"Yes, but for myself as well. We all make mistakes. Last night was one of them, for both of us" Erin answered.

"I'm so sorry, is Shay alright?" He asked, memories of her echoing screams again filling his mind. They had been the most sobering noise, the beer induced haze leaving only to be replaced with the knowledge that he had been the source of her concern. When the door had slammed behind Erin and Shay he'd slid to the floor and cried. Then he had cleaned up the glass and scrubbed the wall all the while thinking about how much he wanted them back. Plagued by terrible thoughts of his own inadequacy he had started on what remained of the bottle of vodka they'd been given at the housewarming party. By the time that was gone it was morning, when nausea indicated a return to reality he had jumped in the car, headed for the liquor store. Talking his way out of being arrested by using Erin's name was something else he regretted. Finally comprehending that alcohol only caused regrets to pile up he stopped drinking. Vomiting and sleeping his way through the day as he processed the alcohol. He had really only woken up an hour before Erin had arrived, feeling dreadful but clear headed.

"She's fine" Erin assured, realising how sick with guilt he looked.

"How can you forgive me?" He questioned.

"I don't know, but it's done" She promised, she took the plate from his hands and placed it on the coffee table. He didn't expect her to pull him into a hug but he certainly didn't resist. With a deep sigh he held her tightly for a long moment. "Have you brushed your teeth?" Erin questioned when she pulled back a little to look up at him.

"Yeah" Kelly answered, a very perplexed look spreading across his face.

"Just checking" She smiled before sliding her hand up his neck to the back of his head, pulling his face towards hers until their lips met.

"What?" He asked when he retreated as soon as they made contact.

"Shh" Erin breathed before stepping forwards to close the distance between them again. This time he didn't resist her advances, one moment they were kissing passionately, the next she had removed his shirt and was untying his shorts.

"Erin?" He questioned wondering what was motivating her desire for intimacy. She didn't reply forcing him back onto the couch while she removed her own clothing. Erin wanted one thing, to erase the past twenty-four hours, even herself unsure how this related to her current actions. Replacing every bad thought and feeling with a good one was helping though. As she sat in his lap she could feel his resistance failing. He wanted this too. Kissing and sucking at her neck, drawing moans and gasps from her, became his top priority. Her head fell back and her back arched as he provided friction in all the right places. Desperate to have him inside of her she removed the underwear separating them in two swift motions. He thrust into her, taking her by surprise. She continued to kiss him, coordinating the movements of her lips with those of her hips, needing to convey her feelings physically. She was so close already, fighting not to let herself go until he had had the chance to catch up. That didn't take very long. Afterward she slumped forwards allowing Kelly to hold her until she was barely able to stay awake. A sneeze from Kelly brought her to her senses again.

"I'll go get Shay and some dinner" She informed, kissing him one last time before climbing off him and retrieving her clothes.

"Okay, we can talk later" He confirmed as he watched her get dressed.

"We don't have to" She said firmly. Talking about his job, about Newhouse and the role of blame was only going to let the negativity back in. Erin much preferred the idea of sitting on the floor eating pizza with Shay, then, once she was in bed, laying together silently contemplating life. In the end she got her wish, forcing him into silence by kissing him every time he tried to speak. The responsible adult within told her they would need to talk properly soon, until then she just wanted to feel normal, in love, again.

**I don't even know what to say... I feel so emotionally invested in these fictional characters that trying to convey what I think would realistically happen in their relationship is quite taxing. **

**Tomorrow will be my last update for a few days as I make my way home again. **


	42. Chapter 42

"Good morning" Kelly greeted entering the bedroom with two steaming mugs of coffee the moment her alarm went off.

"Morning" She replied turning off her alarm before sitting up and accepting the hot beverage.

"Sleep alright?" He asked, taking a seat opposite her on the bed.

"Yeah, I did actually" She said with a smile, this was what she wanted. Normal caring conversation and simple, thoughtful gestures.

"That's good" He nodded reaching across to hold her hand.

"What are your plans for the day?" She asked, using her thumb to rub circles on the back of his hand.

"I have a doctors appointment" Kelly answered.

"Well I didn't commit to anything with Cindy..." Erin informed.

"I'll call her, don't worry. I'm going to make breakfast while you have your shower" He said happily. Erin knew he was going to extra effort to prove that he wanted them to remain together, long term. Appreciating his effort she thanked him for the coffee and gave him a kiss on her way to the bathroom.

"Kelly" She said, turning in the doorway to look at him.

"Yeah?" He asked, concern evident on his face.

"Thank you" Erin answered before stepping into the bathroom and closing the door. Neither knew exactly what she was referring to but it was nice to simply say what she felt. Kelly had breakfast ready when she made her way to the table and had already started feeding Shay. Erin took a moment to say good morning to Shay and kiss her cheek.

"Mama mornin'" Shay beamed, half chewed cereal and milk dribbling from the corners of her mouth. Kelly was quick to wipe away the food and help Shay coordinate the next spoonful, smiling the whole time.

"Good morning beautiful" Erin replied sliding into her chair and taking a bite of her toast. She couldn't help but wonder how long they would last like this, it seemed as if they could never go very long without some sort of drama. Kelly seemed to be giving it his all, his smile failing to droop even when Shay splattered him with milk. They spent the rest of breakfast discussing what Kelly should make for dinner. Erin didn't want to leave, not when everything was going so well. Reluctantly making her way to the district she managed to compartmentalize her feelings such that the tough and intuitive detective within was on display.

The day flew by, when she wasn't hard at work she was texting Kelly, keeping up to date with everything he was up to. She was pleased to hear that the doctor was impressed enough to permit him to start walking without the boot. Erin was sure Kelly would have destroyed the uncomfortable contraption by the time she got home. Even though they had decided on what was for dinner at breakfast time it was still pleasant to arrive and find Kelly in the kitchen. It was ridiculously adorable to watch, Kelly singing along to the radio as he cooked and Shay trying to dance.

"Hello" Erin greeted when the song ended.

"Mama" Shay squealed toddling unsteadily across the kitchen to wait, arms outstretched, at the baby gate.

"How was your day?" Erin asked generally, lifting Shay up before stepping into the kitchen to see if there was anything she could help with.

"Pretty good, we did some painting this afternoon" He boasted pointing to the fridge door where two very different paintings were on display. Shay's was a kaleidoscope of random colour blotches while Kelly's portrayed three stick figures in a park.

"That's awesome" She praised, taking a step closer for a better look.

"Yeah, I was thinking we could outline some letters then have Shay decorate them as a banner for the birthday party this weekend" He suggested.

"I can't believe that a year ago I was pregnant" Erin said, struggling to comprehend just how much had happened over the last year.

"It's incredible isn't it" He acknowledged feeling the same way himself.

"We really need to get sorted for the party" She said, reverting back to the original topic.

"There is a fair bit to do" He agreed slightly worried that they had barely started to prepare. At least now that he could get around unencumbered he would be able to put up decorations.

"I think we should be able to get most of the things we need at the mall on Thursday afternoon" She said scrolling down the list she had prepared on her phone.

"Oh, we're watching the Herrmann kids on Thursday night, I only agreed because we owe them for taking care of Shay" Kelly said waiting nervously for a reaction

"That makes things tricky, I'll just have to write you a list then" Erin informed, her work schedule didn't permit a shopping trip unless it was Thursday's extended hours.

"Get a piece of paper and we'll work it out now" He said, the pasta still cooking and the sauce simmering away, it was the perfect opportunity for a short break.

"I've got two columns, one for Shay's birthday and one for the engagement party" She explained handing him a pen. They worked together, building a comprehensive list of everything they had to get done over the next few days. It was a much less daunting task when it was set out nice and neatly on a piece of paper. Shay's party didn't have a theme, nor very many children attending but it was still sure to be a fun event. Kelly had taken on the responsibility of cake making as well as providing entertainment, he had decided early on that a jumping castle was necessary. As far as birthday presents were concerned they had both decided to be practical purchasing new shoes, sheets and clothes for Shay along with a few toys and games. Party guests were sure to bring fun gifts anyway.

In contrast Erin hadn't really done much as far as the engagement party was concerned. All she had done was contact a printing company to order one hundred 'save the date' cards. Ideally she would like to be gauging potential brides maids and groomsmen. It all seemed to be upon them so suddenly, like an assignment left to the last minute, Erin could feel her stress levels starting to rise. She reminded herself that the party was for her, and Kelly, to celebrate their engagement. That meant that she could organise as much or as little as she wanted.

"Dinner's ready, can you help her wash her hands?" Kelly requested, swapping the pen for a spoon. Erin put aside thoughts of the wedding for a moment.

"Sure can" She said as she balanced Shay on her knee in a well practiced maneuver that allowed Shay's short arms to reach the stream of water. After soaping up both pairs of hands Erin rinsed and dried them as well then set about removing all of Shay's clothing bar her diaper. Red pasta sauce stains were stubborn and frustrating for someone so impatient with laundry, as such removing the clothing was her proactive approach. She pulled an already ruined bib over Shay's head and secured her in the highchair.

"After the party we'll have to make a schedule for wedding planning" He said, placing their dinner plates on the table. "Where do we even start?" He questioned

"First we'll need a venue so we can send out invitations. After that it's all pretty easy, catering and decorating mostly" She explained.

"And working out what to wear" He added.

"I'm all sorted on that front" She said with a smile.

"I didn't think you found anything with Gabby" He said starting to wonder he had been too self-absorbed to remember her bringing up the subject of wedding dresses.

"I didn't" She responded.

"So what are you wearing?" He asked, confused.

"A dress, it's white, other than that it's a secret" She said cryptically.

"Do you even know what you're wearing for the party?" He questioned, it was fair enough that she didn't want to tell him about the wedding dress but if he didn't change the subject she might be forced into it.

"Not yet, I'll probably just wear a dress. Shay has the 'Birthday Girl' shirt I bought online and her rainbow tights. You can just wear a shirt and jeans. It doesn't have to be complicated, it's her first birthday, she won't remember it" She answered.

"I still can't believe it's been a year, so much has happened" Kelly said softly, scooping pasta from the highchair tray back into Shay's bowl.

"But we've made it. Together. That's all we need to do" Erin reinforced.

"Forever" He nodded, squeezing her hand.

"Forever" She agreed. They ate the remainder of their dinner in silence, both contemplating the past and future. Forgetting to be responsible adults they ended up just as wet as Shay during bath time. Encouraging her to splash had led to an all out water fight, only stopping when Kelly complained about the soap getting in his eyes. Erin teased him for being so delicate, the soap was supposed to be irritation free. They got Shay to bed then changed into their sleepwear.

"We should do that everyday" Kelly said as he flopped into bed.

"No way, it makes too much of a mess" She replied.

"It's so fun it has to be worth a little cleaning" He was convinced.

"A little? You can clean the bathroom next time" She said, shaking her head a little. It didn't seriously bother her but she felt it was important to remind him that she had been doing most, if not all, of the housework since he had broken his leg.

"I will, sorry" He replied.

"It's fine, I wish we could do it everyday but it wouldn't be as fun if we did"

"True" He agreed. The conversation faded away, neither felt the need to fill the silence with pointless words.

"Kelly?" Erin asked, suddenly rembering something she had been meaning to ask him.

"Yeah?" He questioned in response.

"The other night you said you were going to quit your job" She stated.

"I wasn't me at the time" He sighed.

"I understand that, you just seemed really certain" Erin continued, she wasn't sure what she even wanted to hear in response.

"I was. I still am a little, I don't want to be responsible for depriving someone of their livelihood ever again. I've ruined Newhouses life, not just his career" He said sadly, obviously feeling deeply guilty for his actions.

"No you haven't he'll figure something out" She assured, everyone on squad had such a broad range of talents and skills that Erin was sure he wouldn't be unemployed for long.

"If it wasn't for my stupidity he would never have gotten hurt" He said firmly.

"You can't change it, you're responsible for your own regrets. Just forgive yourself and move on" She said wisely.

"How do I do that?" He asked.

"Just keep repeating that what's done is done, that you did your best in the situation" She advised.

"But I didn't, I was careless" He complained.

"Did you learn from it? Will you ever do it again?" She prompted knowing there was an upside, she just needed him to see it.

"Of course I won't do it again" He assured, slightly confused as to why she would even ask.

"Then you leaned something. Firefighting is what you love, you should keep doing it until you stop loving it. That means you're going to have to make executive decisions, as long as you're learning and doing your best they shouldn't become regrets" She expressed, firmly believing he needed his job to keep himself going.

"I know, I just need a little more time to get my head back into it" He clarified.

"Good" She smiled. Though the conversation had been short Erin felt that they had made considerable progress, he opened up to her and in return she had tried to provide helpful feedback.

"Erin" He said softly.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"Thank you" He whispered as he pulled her closer, she settled her head on his chest and allowed his heartbeat to soothe her to sleep.

**I hope this was an alright chapter...I needed them to start resolving things properly (pretending it never happened was never going to work so Erin needed to slowly start to delve into the problems Kelly is having). I'll be back home for the next update (fingers crossed for Thursday) :D**


	43. Chapter 43

**Hello, I'm back! I had a lovely holiday but nothing beats seeing my dog Leo after ten days apart (I don't know why I feel the need to tell you this but it's too late now). I am super motivated at the moment and have plenty of free time on my hands ;) I do apologise for the delay (it's 2am here so I missed my Thursday deadline), I've been working on Joy's 100****th**** review fic (which you should all check out tomorrow – maybe very early Saturday morning…) and struggling to readjust to this timezone. **

Erin was running late. She absolutely hated to be late for anything but it was completely unavoidable. She'd even skipped out on her paperwork, bribing Jay with tickets to a hockey game if he did it for her. It still didn't change that fact that she was a record forty-five minutes behind schedule. That meant Kelly had spent half an hour alone with six children, he was probably never going to forgive her, assuming he'd even survived so far. Finally making her way out into the parking lot at the back of the district she spotted Burgess, who she'd been meaning to talk to all day. She had a split second decision to make, talk to Burgess and be even later or put it off and potentially forget.

"Burgess" Erin called as she decided she was already so late that a few minutes wouldn't make a difference.

"What's up?" Burgess questioned as she approached.

"We're majorly lacking in children for Shay's birthday party, do you think you could bring your niece?" Erin asked, Kelly had been so keen on the jumping castle that he hadn't even bothered to think about the lack of children.

"Yeah, I think so. Atwater has a little sister too" Burgess suggested as Erin checked her watch for the tenth time.

"Can you tell him it's okay for her to come?" Erin questioned as she pulled open the car door.

"Sure" Burgess nodded.

"Thanks" Erin said with a sigh.

"No problem" Burgess replied as she stepped back so that Erin could drive away. Driving more aggressively than ever before she sped across the city to the Herrmann's house. Stopping to catch her breath she waited at the front door, surely there should be more noise. She knocked twice and was quickly greeted by Nathan.

"Where have you been?" Kelly demanded as he tipped Josie off his back and quickly ducked out from between the boys and the television.

"Work, I'm really sorry" She apologised, she had sent a text message but he'd clearly been too busy pretending to be a horse to check his phone.

"Well you're here now" He shrugged wondering if the delay was punishment for agreeing to babysit in the first place.

"Absolutely" She confirmed though she still felt quite frazzled.

"I was thinking we could take them to the park around the corner, tire them out so we don't have to mess around at bed time"

"Alright, shoes, hats and jackets" Erin listed, all things that took a while to get on Shay and were certain to take considerably longer when multiplied out.

"I'll take those three" He said gesturing to the older boys on the couch, leaving Erin with Josie, Kenny and Shay, the more difficult group. She didn't complain figuring it was really only making things fair. It took some encouragement, then flat out bribery to get Josie to put her shoes on. Kenny understood that it meant they were going somewhere and Erin was well practiced when it came to Shay. None of them had any protests when it came to putting on jackets but all three fought their hats. Erin simply tied Shay's hat on then negotiated with Kenny and Josie until they understood they couldn't leave the house unless their hats were on. Of course Kelly and the three older boys were waiting impatiently at the door. Erin stayed at the back of their strange procession, carrying Shay and holding Kenny's hand as he walked along beside her. Kelly had the kids skipping, hopping and jumping. Erin expected that they would be tired by the time they got to the park, they certainly weren't. Seeing the positive side to the situation Erin concluded that her role as swing pusher meant she wouldn't have to visit the gym anytime soon.

"Almost ready to go?" She asked when Kelly joined her after helping each of the four older children across the monkey bars and down the slide a few times.

"I think so, but we should let them decide" He answered, taking over pushing Kenny so Erin could focus on Shay. Slowly but surely the children each lost their enthusiasm, when they were all sitting or lying on the play equipment Erin made the call and assembled them near a tree ready for departure.

"Erin?" Someone called from the footpath.

"Leah! Hi" Erin exclaimed rushing to greet the teen, they tried to hug but it was awkward, each with a baby on their hip.

"Is this your baby?" Leah asked saying hello to Shay as well.

"Yeah, this is Shay. Lucas is so big now" Erin commented hardly recognising the chubby blond toddler.

"He eats so much" Leah laughed.

"That's good. How's work?" Erin questioned watching as Kelly waved then started leading their charges back towards the house.

"Do you have to be somewhere?" Leah asked having seen the exchange.

"No it's fine" Erin said though she wasn't sure what task he would force her to do to make up for again leaving him with the children.

"Who are all those kids?" Leah questioned looking perplexed.

"We're babysitting for some friends, or rather he's babysitting" She replied feeling guilty, both for failing as a babysitter and for not having caught up with Leah for ages.

"And is he your…?" Leah questioned not sure how best to phrase it.

"Fiancé" Erin answered with a surge of excitement.

"Congratulations, that's exciting" Leah said with a smile.

"Thanks, it is. Enough about me though, tell me what you're up to" Erin instructed.

"I quit my old job because my boss kept messing around my pay. Now I work at a hairdressing salon and I'm taking come community college classes as well" Leah explained.

"That's awesome, let me know if you ever need me to watch Lucas for classes or something" She offered.

"My boyfriend looks after him most of the time now" Leah informed. Noting Erin's raised eyebrows she decided to provide more information. "Lincoln was doing a placement at Lucas' daycare centre as part of his early childhood education course. He's a really great guy"

"Good" Erin nodded trying to be supportive though she couldn't help but worry for Leah.

"Yeah, everything is good and it's all thanks to you" Leah said gratefully.

"You're the one doing the hard work" Erin deflected.

"Thank you though, seriously"

"No problem, seriously" Erin replied.

"I'd better let you get going" Leah said after a pause, more because Lucas was getting impatient than because they had run out of things to talk about.

"It's Shay's first birthday this weekend, we're having a party on Saturday, you should come if you don't have plans" Erin said.

"I'd love to" Leah answered, accepting the invitation instantly.

"Great, have you still got the same number?" Erin asked.

"Yep"

"I'll send you the details" Erin said, adding it to the top of her extensive pre-party to do list.

"Thanks, have a nice afternoon" Leah farewelled realising that the afternoon was quickly becoming night. Erin watched for a moment as Leah put Lucas down and he ran to the slide then turned and started walking quickly to the Herrmann's house. To make up for her absence she singlehandedly sorted dinner then got all the Herrmann children into their pyjamas and beds while he coordinated bath time. Shay kept herself entertained with a toy car while Erin and Kelly assumed a divide and conquer approach to bedtime stories.

"You take Shay home and head to bed, I'll wait up" Erin said firmly when they made their way downstairs once everyone was tucked in.

"You don't have to" He said quickly.

"I do, I really should have helped more" She justified.

"I'm the one who got us into this and you have work tomorrow, you should go" He argued.

"Please just take Shay home to bed" Erin said calmly.

"Alright then" He responded with a disapproving shake of the head.

"Thank you" She smiled, giving him a quick kiss before following him out into the cold night air. All alone in a house full of sleeping children Erin took the opportunity to make what had to be her hundredth list of things to do before the party. Each list growing more and more complicated until she had to start afresh, usually on a bigger piece of paper. Having reached A4 she was hopeful she had covered everything. By the time she fell into bed it was past midnight, the Herrmann's were very thankful and Erin had planned and scheduled every moment of Saturday morning.

* * *

><p>Saturday arrived incredibly quickly, much too quickly for Erin's liking. She was still trying to overcome the exhaustion associated with such a late night on Thursday. As assigned Kelly had made a trip to the shops for ingredients for his pancake spectacular of a birthday cake while she was at work on Friday. Erin was worried he was being overambitious when he showed her his plan, a rainbow stack of pancakes held together with layers of peanut butter and strawberry jam. She really didn't have time to discuss it properly or find an alternative so she decided to trust that he would figure it out. Erin didn't feel bad to be skipping out on Shay's birthday seeing as she wasn't officially one until mid-afternoon. The solo trip to the supermarket was highly successful and when she returned Kelly was working away in the kitchen. Having been sensible food preparation was minimal and soon she was simply upending packets into bowls then setting them on the table.<p>

"Can I borrow you for a sec?" Erin asked fearful of interrupting such a vital moment of cake preparation, the addition of the final layer.

"Sure" He answered once the third red pancake was in position.

"I just need that chair moved over there" She instructed as he followed her lead into the living room.

"Easy" He said as he shifted the chair.

"Thanks"

"I just have to decorate the cake, what have you got left to do?" He asked, Erin unfolded her list and looked over it carefully.

"Pick up the save the date cards" She said rushing to grab her keys. "Keep an ear out for Shay, she should be awake soon" Erin added.

"Of course" He nodded. Unfortunately everyone seemed to want to pick up their printing requests on Saturday morning, the line was enormous and it took a great deal of patience to reach the front. Arriving home she was shocked and saddened to see the cars of some of their guests already parked out the front. Erin shoved the box of cards on the kitchen bench with her keys and followed the laughter out into the backyard. The jumping castle was fully inflated and in use by the Herrmann children, Atwater's sister and Burgess' niece. Vinessa Atwater was holding Shay's hands, helping her remain upright as the air shifted beneath their feet.

"Hey" She said softly as she stopped beside Kelly.

"Hey" He replied, putting his arm around her shoulders to pull her into a hug.

"I'm sorry" She apologised immediately. She noticed that Kelly had dressed Shay in her party outfit. He'd even gone to the trouble of tying back her hair, which was just long enough to get into her eyes, with a colourful ribbon.

"Don't be, you've done everything you can for the party. Now you just have to trust yourself and stop to enjoy it" He said firmly giving her a serious look.

"I would enjoy getting the camera" She said hoping he didn't mind.

"I can do that, you just watch her" He instructed after placing a kiss on her forehead. If she was this much of a perfectionist over their daughter's first birthday party he was concerned for their wedding. Unlike a birthday that happened annually they would only get one wedding.

"Okay" She sighed stepping closer so she could see into the corner properly, the last thing she wanted was an injury for the birthday girl. The jumping of the other children soon became to vigorous sparking a tantrum from Shay, Erin was quick to intervene. Having retrieved Shay she spent a moment talking to her, finally wishing her a happy birthday. They were so trusting that after the first few trips they decided to leave the front door open. Their guests arrived and followed the improvised signs through the house to the backyard. When Erin went in to get Shay a drink she was shocked by the massive pile of presents that had accumulated. Most were wrapped in pink but a few stood out clearly, a zebra striped bag with green tissue paper sticking out the top caught her attention. Her timing was perfect as Hayden and his wife and daughter arrived.

"Hello, come on through" She welcomed, as the newest member of the intelligence unit Hayden wasn't really sure how to act outside of work. It was made more difficult by the presence of his wife, Sam and baby daughter Ruby. He hadn't been very honest about what exactly his job involved so he was worried someone would mention something. After a few minutes in the backyard it became obvious that work was the last thing on everyone's minds. Erin handed out balloon and containers of bubble mix making everything more interesting.

"When is she going to open presents?" Gabby demanded after the fourth balloon popping incident once again left Shay in tears.

"When everyone's ready" Erin shrugged, Kelly quickly stepped in and ushered everyone inside. Shay was placed in the center of the room and handed her first present by Gabby, it just happened to be the zebra striped bag. Having had some practice at Christmas it didn't take Shay long to understand what she was supposed to be doing. The bag contained three different types of bubble bath and an assortment of bath toys.

"She always loves bath time when I babysit" Gabby explained as Erin struggled to get the blue bottle out of Shay's mouth. After a few seconds watching Shay play with her newly acquired toys the next person stepped forward and handed her the next gift. This continued for a while, the unwrapped presents included hairclips and headbands from Leah, playdough from Nadia, a pair of maraca's from Kim and Adam, a massive pink teddy bear from Kevin, a tea set from Platt and Mouch, a set of toy cars from Kelly, some new clothes from Erin and an assortment of toy foods from Lara, Josh and Willow. There were still a few presents to be opened, the biggest ones, but they had an intermission so that the kids didn't get too bored. Returning inside as the sun started setting Shay opened presents from Jay, Kelly's Squad, the Herrmann's, Antonio and Finally Voight. Jay had bought a beautifully illustrated book of fairy tales that Shay immediately opened and started turning pages, more gently than Erin had ever seen. There was laughter as Shay pulled a tiny ice skate from the box given to her by Capp on behalf of Squad 3. The tiny pair of skates were the perfect size and were perfectly themed with the new, bigger Blackhawks jersey they had given her as well. Cindy gave a strangely shaped bundle to Shay then handed Erin a rectangular package.

"This one's for you" Cindy smiled watching as Erin cautiously removed the wrapping paper to reveal a thick notebook. It contained photos and recounts as well as various pieces of artwork, all documenting the time Shay had spent at the Herrmann's. Erin struggled to find the words to thank Cindy so instead she gave her a massive hug, vowing to read it properly later. Seeing Shay triumphantly holding her three new packets of socks Erin couldn't help but laugh.

"She'll have lost half of those by the end of next week" Erin commented knowing that Cindy knew exactly what she meant.

"I wouldn't expect anything less" Cindy laughed. The two remaining gifts, Antonio's and Hank's required assistance to unwrap. With the help of her dad and the two gift givers Shay opened a lovely old rocking horse and a little red wagon.

"My kids are too big for that now" Antonio commented when the last piece of paper was removed from the horses face. It had been a complete nightmare to wrap and was even harder to transport.

"It was Justin's, I bought new wheels and repainted it" Voight said about the wagon as Shay climbed into it eagerly, Kelly holding it still as a safety precaution. After making sure they had thanked everyone they headed outside again. Vinessa and Zoe had quickly become friends, inviting Newhouse's daughter to join them in pulling Shay around the yard in her wagon while the other children caused chaos with bubbles in the jumping castle. As the last of the daylight faded they ventured inside for cake. Kim volunteered to take photos as the cake was brought to the table, lone candle burning brightly. Erin held Shay in her lap and demonstrated how to blow out the candle while everyone sang happy birthday. Kelly had a strange look of pleasure on his face as he hacked the cake into messy but fairly even pieces. He made sure to give Shay the biggest. Erin didn't even think to remove Shay's white shirt before she secured her in her highchair and handed her the rainbow cake.

"This is insanely good" Ruzek commented first, everyone was surprised at how good the pancake monstrosity tasted. Those with children started to leave as soon as they'd finished their cake. Those that remained were engagement party guests. Erin took Shay up for a bath and some quiet time while Kelly prepared dinner with assistance from their many guests. By the time Erin re-joined the party everything had changed, anything vaguely birthday related had been moved and the table was set ready for dinner. Even with every chair in the house there were still a few people left standing. The squad guys solved the problem by taking their dinner plates into the lounge room to sit on the couch, conveniently watching the football game at the same time.

"Having fun?" Kelly questioned as Erin and Shay joined him at the end of the table.

"Absolutely" Erin answered, Shay yawned. All she wanted was food then sleep. After dinner Kim, Gabby and Nadia worked to clear the table while Erin, Kelly and Grandpa Hank put Shay to bed. They brought out the wine and Erin enjoyed her first drink in just under two years while they talked and laughed. Erin couldn't remember whose idea it was but they ended up in the jumping castle, straining to see each other using the back porch light. Snuggled up next to Kelly with all her family and friends in the jumping castle to reminisce was the perfect engagement party for Erin. She eventually fell asleep only to wake up when Kelly carried her into the house, farewelling the last of their guests at the bottom of the stairs before taking her to bed. She pulled off her dress and got into her pyjamas, still half asleep then brushed her teeth and crawled into bed. Kelly joined her, whispering about how great the parties were until he was sure she was asleep again.

**I hope this lived up to expectations! It was a very fun chapter to write, especially bringing back characters we haven't seen in a while. Before you ask, yes, I did intentionally give Leah's boyfriend a name starting with L…It seemed like a cute idea at the time :D Other than that I just need to clarify that when I say jam I mean jelly if you're American (sweet, sticky, fruit preserve/spread). I usually Americanise but calling it jelly was just too strange. Working out what presents people would give Shay was really fun so I hope you liked it **

**P.S – After some extensive planning on the plane yesterday the current goal is to have the wedding as Chapter 50, this might mean the chapters are longer than normal to make up for the fact I'm trying to cover almost 6 months in 7 chapters…it's taken 43 to cover a year…I'm sure you're not complaining over longer chapters though :D **

**I didn't even proofread so please let me know if you see any errors… I'll fix them when I wake up in the morning :D  
><strong>


	44. Chapter 44

**I've been sick. Very sorry for the delay. **

"I think I drank too much" Erin groaned as she rolled over, Kelly was tiptoeing through the room, not wanting to wake her. He had just needed his phone.

"I don't know, you fell asleep before things got crazy" He laughed crossing the room, he crawled across the bed and kissed her.

"Things got crazy and I missed it?" She asked, feeling left out.

"Not really, you didn't miss much at all" He assured deciding not to tell her about Ruzek getting a black eye. The jumping castle had gotten slippery after someone spilled a glass of wine, the liquid pooling right near the opening. Returning from the bathroom Ruzek was oblivious to the hazard, slipping in it only to catch Halstead's elbow with his eye. He was definitely going to have some impressive bruising.

"Oh…good" She sighed though she could tell he was remembering something amusing.

"Just the part where we talked about you" Kelly teased, shifting the focus back to her as he sat up, remembering that his shirt was wet.

"Who said what?" She demanded anxiously.

"It was honestly all good stuff" He laughed.

"Sure" Erin said sceptically.

"We talked about how good you are at your job…" He stopped to kiss her "…that you're an incredible mother…" another kiss "…and a great party planner" He finished with another, long, slow kiss.

"Well in that case I'd better get up, I don't want to disappoint everyone by staying in bed all day" She said, throwing back the blankets as she sat up, turning to look at him properly. "Wait, why are you wet?" She questioned looking at the splash marks on his shirt.

"I had to hose out the jumping castle, bubble mix and wine" He explained.

"Where's Shay?" She asked.

"Sleeping, she was pretty exhausted so she went back to bed after breakfast" He said feeling instantly as if he'd said too much.

"Breakfast?" She questioned, she recognised the tone and wanted answers. "Please tell me you didn't have cake for breakfast" She said when he hesitated.

"I could tell you that, but it would be a lie" He admitted trying to cover his smile with an apologetic look.

"She needs proper food" Erin scolded, cake was hardly nutritious.

"She'll have a healthy lunch, you're making it, after your shower" He informed.

"What time is it?" She questioned have lost all sense of time, it had to be pretty late if he was talking about lunch.

"Eleven thirty" He answered after checking his phone.

"What time did we go to bed?" She asked, shocked she had slept through the morning.

"You fell asleep just after one but you didn't get into bed until three" He replied.

"And I feel like crap, that's just pathetic" She complained as she stood up.

"You had three or four glasses of wine" He reminded, surely she knew there were consequences for exhausting herself with planning and organising.

"Three…pretty embarrassing" She laughed as she headed for the shower. After her shower she checked on Shay and constructed lunch using green foods only. Shay was not happy.

"No!" Shay yelled as she tried to throw her plate, Erin gripped it tightly and returned it to the highchair tray.

"Eat up" Erin encouraged, taking a celery stick and smiling massively as she bit into it to demonstrate.

"CAKE" Shay demanded throwing herself backwards.

"Shay no. This is lunch" Erin explained.

"No Mama! I CAKE" She tried face red with anger.

"No cake" Erin said, shaking her head.

"No Mama!" Shay replied turning as far around as was possible to avoid the food Erin was offering.

"Kelly!" Erin called, the perfect solution in mind.

"What's up?" He asked as he stepped out of the kitchen, placing the last piece of a slice of cake in his mouth.

"Cake!" Shay squealed victoriously, if Dada was having some surely she could too.

"Well somebody gave her cake for breakfast and now she's refusing to eat anything else. Good luck" Erin smiled as she handed him the plate.

"I'm sorry" He apologised as he took her seat, placing the plate in front of Shay.

"Good" Erin nodded turning to leave before Shay realised she wasn't getting cake. Her crying echoed through the house as Erin got to work cleaning instead. "How much of that did she eat?" She questioned when Kelly brought the half empty plate into the kitchen an hour later.

"Most of it" He shrugged.

"How much really?" She demanded.

"None" He groaned, some of the food had flown across the room and he'd eaten some to keep himself going. He emptied the plate then took the cake out of the fridge.

"What are you doing?" She asked as he selected a knife and started cutting a portion of cake.

"She has to eat" He said as he slid the cake onto Shay's plate, taking the place of broccoli, celery, baby spinach, apple, asparagus and peas.

"No. We are not going to give in to her. She has to learn"

"She's one" He tried to remind her.

"I know, that's why we have to make the right decisions for her. Put that back, I'll try again in an hour…she'll get hungry enough eventually" Erin concluded, supervising as he put the cake back into the fridge. Kelly didn't agree at all but was too tired to fight over it, after all he had stayed up later and woken earlier than she had. Shay was still raging at the lack of cake but Kelly managed to calm her with a ride around the garden in her new wagon. Erin got back on with housework, keen to get everything done so she could spend some time with Kelly and Shay. Finally done folding, sorting and putting the washing away she headed downstairs to see what they were up to. Kelly was casually feeding Shay chicken flavoured chips. "Kelly!" Erin said exasperatedly as she took the chip from Shay's hand, ignoring the beginning of another tantrum.

"She was hungry" He defended.

"Then get her some proper food" Erin instructed taking the packet from him. She wondered if Kelly was intentionally messing with her by choosing the flavour with green packaging.

"Those are proper food, potatoes are vegetables" He explained knowing full well just how angry Erin was getting.

"You're going to make her fat!" Erin announced taking Shay from the couch to hold her protectively, still in a bad mood Shay screamed, writhed and kicked.

"No I'm not, why are you so worried? The cake is made of pancakes, which we have for breakfast at least once a week" He explained in an attempt to justify his actions. He refused to see feeding his hungry child as a bad thing.

"It's not the same, those are full of sugar and colouring…things that are bad for her" She argued.

"There are plenty of worse things" Kelly protested.

"That's so not the point!" Erin almost yelled, trying desperately to keep a grip on Shay as she threw herself around, using all her bodyweight to convey her discontent.

"Put her down before you drop her" Kelly said softly.

"Don't…" She started but she didn't bother to finish, storming out of the room and up the stairs. Putting Shay in the middle of their bed, where she could continue her tantrum without getting hurt, Erin sat down. With her head in her hands she stopped to think things through. Shay settled herself eventually, crawling across the bed into Erin's lap. "I'm sorry" She apologised looking down at her big baby, she had grown so quickly. They had cruised through the first year of her life, doing what they could when they could. Now Erin just wanted to make sure she was doing everything possible to make sure Shay continued to thrive. Laying back on the bed with Shay next to her she took the chance to tell Shay just how much she loved her, adding kisses where necessary.

"Love 'oo Mama" Shay replied placing a hand on Erin's cheek. They lay there staring at each other for a long time.

"Hey" Kelly whispered as he joined them, Shay rolled and greeted him by grabbing his ear.

"Hey" Erin said just as quietly.

"I'm really sorry" He said next.

"Me too, she's just getting so big so quickly and we only have so many chances to get things right" She explained, feeling it was necessary to justify her explosion.

"We are getting things right, look at her, she's perfect" He instructed, Erin took a moment to look at Shay properly, soft golden hair right down to her ten tiny toes.

"She really is isn't she?" Erin beamed feeling pride swell in her chest.

"We make good babies" He winked leaning across Shay to kiss Erin.

"Baby" Erin corrected firmly.

"We'll see" He challenged placing a hand on her stomach. She shook her head but allowed him to kiss her again anyway. They went downstairs and made Shay eat her celery and broccoli before allowing her to have some chicken chips, a successful compromise. Spending the afternoon searching for a wedding venue ended the day peacefully.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, there was nothing peaceful about the rest of the week. Erin had well and truly messed up her sleep cycle, coffee was the only thing keeping her going at work. Kelly was jogging twice a day complaining that he couldn't go back to work until he got fitter. In truth he was still feeling guilty to have ruined Newhouse's career. There had to be something more he could do but he couldn't figure out what. Erin didn't know how best to help so she tried not to get involved, it wasn't as if she didn't have enough to be doing anyway. When she found herself awake at two o'clock Thursday morning, still searching for a wedding venue, she decided she was going to need to ask for help. It definitely wasn't her strong suit but she didn't have a choice, both her home and work life were suffering under the strain of wedding planning and she'd barely started. A quick scan of the morning newspaper turned up several candidates for the role. After the first phone call Erin was convinced Kelsie would be able to help her pull off the wedding of her dreams. Now the only thing playing on her mind was Kelly's situation, he was physically ready for work but struggling mentally. It was understandable that he was hesitant to take command again. The issue stemmed from Newhouse so that was where she went to pursue the solution.<p>

"Hi" Erin said as Rick Newhouse pulled open his front door.

"Erin, what's going on?" He asked, adjusting his sling nervously.

"I wanted to see how you're doing. I brought these" She said holding out a container of brownies.

"You want me to talk to him don't you?" Newhouse asked, hesitant to accept the container.

"Only if you want to, I just think it would help. Both of you" Erin answered pressing the container into his hands before turning to leave.

"I'll do it, if you watch Naomi after school tomorrow" He called after her.

"Sure, bring her with you and I'll take her to the park or a movie or something" Erin agreed eagerly, now she just had to convince Voight to give her Friday afternoon off. He had been watching her carefully all week and agreed before she even had a chance to justify.

* * *

><p>"So Naomi, what do you want to do this afternoon?" Erin asked as Newhouse's daughter joined Shay in the backseat of the car.<p>

"I don't know" Naomi answered quietly.

"How about a movie?" Erin suggested, Shay was due for her afternoon nap so it was convenient timing.

"Okay" Naomi agreed. Erin didn't know why Naomi was being so shy, usually she was bouncy and talkative, they had met each other at the firehouse numerous times. They'd even had a conversation at Shay's birthday party. The cinema was surprisingly empty so they picked what Naomi determined were the perfect seats. Erin had purchased popcorn and drinks. The popcorn was finished before the movie even started which was a positive because then Shay didn't feel like she was missing out. Erin was lost in thought for most of the movie only drawn back to reality by the tap on her arm. "I need to go to the bathroom" Naomi whispered.

"Okay" Erin nodded getting up to lead the way. Naomi was perfectly capable but as Erin's responsibility there was no way she was going alone. Erin was just pleased that Shay kept sleeping as they ventured out into the bright light. They happened to miss the major action sequence of the movie, Naomi tried to apologise but Erin hastily dismissed it. Satisfied that Newhouse and Kelly had had plenty of opportunity to talk they headed back straight after the movie. The men were sitting on the couch, beer in hand, hockey on the television, things had clearly gone well so Erin smiled. Newhouse had barely sipped his beer so he was quick to discard it in favour of taking his daughter home. Erin was relieved to hear Naomi telling him about the movie as they left.

"Thank you for meddling" Kelly said as soon as they were gone.

"So when do you start work?" She asked.

"Tomorrow" He grinned.


	45. Chapter 45

**Two things just quickly:**

**Daisyangel: Hayden Powell was introduced to replace Sheldon Jin but I'm pretty sure I've only mentioned him once or twice prior to the party. **

**Michinkicks: I'm glad to see that people are still starting to read this, thanks for the reviews.**

**Oh and everyone else, you know I love you right?! Because I really truly do! Enjoy :D**

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Erin asked, though she had been asking versions of the same question for the last few days, this was the last opportunity for him to change his mind.

"I'm sure, I've missed spending time with Shay so I want to spend the day with her. That and I trust that you'll pick the perfect venue" Kelly answered, bouncing Shay on his knee. Erin couldn't argue with his justification, she loved that he was working again but there was nothing better than seeing the two of them together.

"I have to make the decision today though, Kelsie says delaying any further will put everything at risk" She informed not trusting herself nearly as much as he seemed to.

"Sounds dangerous, it can't be that bad" He said, not sure what she meant by 'at risk'.

"If we don't have a venue we can't have invitations, no invitations mean no guests, and no guests means no wedding" Erin explained.

"Invitations aren't that important, most of the people coming work with us" He reminded, he didn't want to seem disinterested or play down the situation but he did feel the need to reassure her that it wasn't a major drama. The wedding wasn't about the venue, the invitations or the guests. It was about them.

"You're right, worst case scenario we do a Boden and use the firehouse" She laughed, stopping to give them both a goodbye kiss on her way.

"Why is that the worst case?" He called after her, the firehouse meant a lot to him so it would be meaningful.

"I'll keep it in mind if I don't like any of the places Kelsie has shortlisted" She answered before checking the time and realising she was going to be late. The first place Kelsie suggested was quickly ruled out. It was a massive hall in a beautiful old building at the university, an architectural wonder but didn't suit what Erin had in mind. They didn't really have the numbers to justify using such a big space. The second venue had the opposite problem. Erin was starting to worry now that they were halfway through the list.

"I have a feeling you'll really like the next one" Kelsie comforted, immediately noticing the change in Erin's behaviour.

"It's the botanic gardens one right?" Erin questioned.

"Yep, but if it you don't like it that's fine. I will find the perfect place for you" Kelsie guaranteed.

"Kelly suggested the firehouse" Erin replied offhandedly.

"That is always an option" Kelsie admitted as they got out of the car. They made their way along a winding path, Kelsie took the lead as Erin followed, admiring the plants. The path opened out onto a perfectly manicured lawn, a gleaming white building right in the middle. After a walk around the outside of the T shaped building they headed inside. There were so many windows that light flooded the rooms, white walls making it almost too bright. Erin wasn't sure what the first room was designed for but it was ideal for the ceremony, long enough and wide enough with windows along one side. Kelsie was quick to explain where the guests would sit and where a raised platform would be placed. Then they ventured into the other half of the building to where Kelsie envisaged the reception dinner being held. As a restaurant, open only over the holiday season, it was absolutely perfect. Erin asked for a moment to walk through again, trying to calm herself. The moment she had gotten a glimpse of the inside of the building she knew it was what she wanted. She could easily see herself, in Camille's dress, walking down the aisle, Kelly waiting at the end. Erin had never felt such an instant connection with a building, maybe it was that for the first time she could picture what she wanted, making everything more real. As she got a grip and stopped fantasising her rational mind take over, there was no way it would be cheap. Kelly was so relaxed he hadn't even set a budget, any mention of finances was a sure way to end the conversation. She understood that he didn't want it to be about money but she couldn't stop herself thinking it was silly to spend so much on a single day. She had accepted his proposal and all that came with it, the wedding was almost a hurdle to test them.

"You alright?" Kelsie asked gently, Erin had been staring off into the distance, deep in thought, for a long time.

"Yeah…I just…I think this is it" Erin replied cautiously. Kelsie smiled broadly and let out a sigh of relief. Job satisfaction as a wedding planner was difficult, especially given that her clients were actively risking their lives every day to make the world a better place. It only seemed fair to make sure their wedding was perfect.

"I've already checked that the date is free but I'm not in charge of bookings, I'll call on Monday and put your name down as a possibility. Then after Kelly's seen it too, we can finalise. By the end of the week would be good" Kelsie explained.

"Finalise it straight away. I want it" Erin said feeling suddenly decisive. Kelly had made it abundantly clear that his top priority was her happiness. This place, with the beautiful gardens and practical layout made her happy.

"If you say so" Kelsie nodded.

"I do" Erin laughed.

* * *

><p>"Kelsie is expecting my call in the morning so can you just take five minutes to look at the options?" Erin requested. With the venue sorted they had moved on to invitations.<p>

"Sure, but you have to agree with my plans for Saturday" Kelly answered.

"What plans?" She asked.

"I'll tell you after" He said, loving the playful but enraged look he got in return.

"That's hardly fair" She complained.

"I know" He smiled following her from the doorway of Shay's bedroom to the dining room table. Three places were reserved for eating but the rest of the table had been consumed by the wedding, folders and magazines scattered randomly. On top sat the three options for invitations. All based on the same olive green card with exactly the same information presented on a second layer of subtly patterned cream paper. By the time Erin had realised that the green was identical to the olive of Shay's bedroom wall it had been too late. Kelly thought it suited their venue, which he had only seen pictures of, to have green paper. He knew she was serious so he took his time, before choosing. "That one is my favourite"

"Why?" She asked calmly.

"The silver leaf print is pretty, delicate but not glitzy or sparkly" He said thoughtfully. Erin took another look and smiled it was her favourite too, for the same reason. She liked the other options but they seemed excessively decorated.

"This is it then" She said picking it up and pushing the others aside.

"Makes it very real" He realised as he read the invitation, it was still long time to wait.

"No going back now" She cautioned seriously before shifting to a laugh.

"Good" He winked before kissing her.

"Now tell me what's happening on Saturday" She demanded.

"Well I put Shay in her ice skates for the first time the other day and they fit perfectly, we have a short window of opportunity before her feet grow" Kelly explained.

"So you want to take her ice skating?" Erin questioned.

"Yeah" He nodded eagerly, clearly he had been looking forward to it for a long time.

"She can barely walk, that doesn't seem safe" She replied, unconvinced.

"But she's really small so she doesn't have far to fall" He enthused.

"Oh, well that's fine then" She said sarcastically, her facial expression conveying her discontent.

"We'll dress her appropriately and I won't let her fall" He resolved.

"I'm not allowed to say no" Erin shrugged waving the invitation as proof.

"Good, it'll be fun. We need to spend some time together" Kelly grinned.

"We? I don't have to skate do I?" She questioned wondering if his input on the invitations was really worth that much.

"It's family time" He reminded.

"Alright, but I don't know how you're going to teach both of us at once" Erin said, hoping he would realise it was too much to coordinate and let her spectate.

"I'll manage" He said determinedly.

* * *

><p>"Just make sure she doesn't fall backwards" Kelly instructed as he grabbed Shay's foot and put the skate on. Erin stood behind the bench seat, holding Shay's hands out the way. As soon as the skates were on Shay wanted to walk for herself, not realising they were any different to normal shoes. She protested loudly as they carried her to the entrance to the ice, both already wearing their skates.<p>

"Please don't drop her" Erin said softly as she watched the man ahead of them fall as soon as he stepped onto the ice.

"I won't" He assured gliding gracefully onto the ice, clearly well practiced. Shay was fascinated by the strange movement and stopped struggling to concentrate. Erin followed Kelly hesitantly, never straying out of arms reach of the barrier. "Want a go Shay?" He questioned as he lowered her onto the ice.

"No!" Shay announced though it was clear she meant the opposite. They looked at each other, then simultaneously corrected her. It had only been a few hours since they'd been talking about her preference for the word. Shay very rarely said yes though it was often obvious she meant it and they had decided to make a point to say yes more often.

"It's ice" Kelly explained as Shay crouched down curious to feel the surface.

"Icy" She squealed not connecting the smooth surface with the frozen treat she was now expecting.

"Just ice" He said, standing her up. Erin couldn't help but get involved, taking Shay's hands and keeping her standing while Kelly moved her feet for her. "Sliding" He explained as he let go and she started stepping. He helped her again until she started moving her feet properly.

"She's getting it" Erin smiled as Kelly started to experiment with releasing his grip, always keeping his hands close enough to catch Shay when she wobbled. Trusting his ability to keep Shay safe Erin started to experiment with her own technique, observation her favourite educative method. They separated briefly when Kelly let go of Shay and she skated away, ignoring the dozens of adults gliding past her at high speed. He went to retrieve her but Erin wasn't confident enough to stray from the herd of beginners along the edges. It didn't take long for the novelty to wear off, after the third lap Erin was ready to leave. She could now skate and stop effectively and didn't really that learning anymore would be useful. Kelly was keen to keep going, already teaching Shay to move backwards. Erin stepped off the ice and put her shoes back on, taking her phone from the locker to get some photos. She ended up filming Shay twirling and swirling across the ice as Kelly followed along completely in awe of her natural ability. Kelly didn't let them leave until lunch time. Once she was satisfied she had captured the milestone Erin found the café and drank coffee while sorting through emails on her phone. Shay slept all the way home, exhausted

**I am well aware that it isn't typical to have a one year old ice skating but I know a few toddlers who can so it isn't impossible. This chapter was initially going to be all wedding planning but I couldn't resist some cute family time. I love the idea of the wedding at the botanic gardens (possibly because I spent one of my afternoons in Perth at their botanic gardens and saw 4 different wedding groups). While I was there I also found the Western Australian Firefighters Memorial…I'm not ashamed to admit it made me cry. **

**Note: I spent a good half hour tossing up between botanic and botanical :/ I'm fussy when it comes to using the right word and after extensive googling (plus checking an actual dictionary - yes those still exist) I couldn't figure out which was more correct… **


	46. Chapter 46

"What do you think you're doing?" Voight asked as he entered his office to find Erin going through his desk drawer.

"I another photo for you" She explained finally locating the battered leather photo album, she flicked open to the last image then slipped the new photo in next to it.

"What did Shay get up to on the weekend?" He questioned, the first few photos were of himself with Camille, Justin and eventually Erin. The rest was dedicated entirely to photographs of Shay.

"We took her ice skating" Erin replied turning the album around so he could see the photo.

"Sounds fun" He laughed taking the album, he had to resist the urge to flick through the rest of the photos. Every single image made him smile.

"She loved it" Erin smiled.

"Well I'm glad you had a good weekend because things are going to be hectic around here from now on" He explained, saddened to have to focus on work once more.

"New case?" She questioned.

"Yeah, a fourth woman was reported missing this morning, all members of a fancy golf club. It's the only connection we've been able to find so far. We're going to need you to go undercover for this one" He informed.

"Yeah sure" Lindsay nodded though he hadn't actually posed it as a question. It was possibly the first time she wasn't excited, there was so much going on at home.

"Olinksy and Powell are already working on your identity so you should head down and see what they've got first" He instructed. Lindsay nodded then left his office, heading straight downstairs to see how difficult it was going to be.

"Perfect timing, come here" Powell said as Erin entered his office, gadgets of every type strewn across every available surface. Erin didn't hesitate to follow his instructions, soon enough he had scanned her iris, linking it to the member's profile he was fabricating for her.

"Who am I?" She asked looking to Olinsky who was working on a fake passport and drivers licence, she suspected he had learned to forge documents on one of his long term undercover operations.

"Madeline Payne, a boring business woman" Powell explained.

"Thanks, couldn't come up with something interesting" She sighed.

"You have to blend in at the club so it's all profits and non-profits for you" He smiled.

"What sort of business?" She questioned, always keen to start memorising details as soon as possible.

"Sports equipment, that's why you're a member of the club, for business not because you have any interest in the game" Powell answered though it was a well-known fact that most golf club members were in it for the social aspect.

"Okay, so am I blending in or getting noticed?" She questioned.

"Blend in first, they're running charity dinners every night this week so it's a great chance to see how things work. Once you're able to link the women we morph your profile to suit and hope you get noticed by whoever is taking them" Olinsky instructed, not once taking his eyes off his work.

"I love being bait" She said sarcastically before leaving them to keep working. She suddenly had a lot to organise.

* * *

><p>"Madeline Payne" Erin said clearly as she presented her invitation to the doorman.<p>

"Welcome ma'am, here is the catalogue of items up for auction tonight" He replied stiffly, handing over the booklet before ushering her through the main doors. There were people everywhere, the first thing Erin did was gauge the suitability of her attire. Satisfied that she would blend in with the majority of the women she made her way into the crowd. Making her way to the right side she pretended to be interested in the auction items up for display. It was difficult not to look alarmed when she read the value of some of the artworks in the catalogue. After a few minutes of wondering what set the paintings here apart from Shay's artwork Erin spotted Atwater carrying a tray of drinks. Her loathing of solo work was never more apparent as she made her way towards him instead of playing the part and waiting for him. Catching her mistake before she ruined her cover she ignored him, took a drink and moved to the join the crowd admiring the most expensive item. An undeniably beautiful marble statue, there was already a murmur of discontent surrounding who would take it home. Erin knew it wouldn't be her. Making her way to the table she easily joined the conversation, careful to present herself as neither too keen nor too disinterested.

"Miss Payne?" Atwater asked, surprising Erin who had been trying to laugh genuinely at a ridiculously outrageous anecdote from the ancient man across the table.

"Yes?" She asked turning to face him.

"Ma'am if we could speak for a moment" He answered, replicating the manner of the other staff perfectly. Erin excused herself and stepped away from the table to speak with him.

"Voight's going to call you in five minutes with a change of plans, I've just told you that the valet damaged your car" He said calmly before walking her back to the table. Feigning frustration she explained what had happened to the rest of the table then let the conversation carry on as she looked at her watch. Curious to know what had changed she made her way to the bathroom with a minute to spare. Thankfully the bathroom was empty, everyone still busy eating. Hank called right on time, Erin answered before it even had a chance to ring properly.

"You need to win the auction for the statue" He instructed as soon as the line connected.

"How? I thought I was supposed to blend in" She questioned.

"Another woman has disappeared, we need to speed things up" He informed.

"That's going to draw so much attention though. And I don't have three million dollars to spend" Erin said, seeing only flaws.

"Powell is going to hack the bank account we set up for you, just do it, we'll sort it later. Attention is what we need" Voight asserted.

"Alright, I'll go register to bid" She agreed.

"You can't lose, it isn't real money" He added, hoping to boost her confidence.

"Got it" She confirmed before hanging up. Erin didn't have time to return to her table, the meal was over and the auction was already under way. The Pietra masterpiece she was going to bid for was the last item. After registering she moved through the crowd, placing herself neatly at the front and center, far away from those doing the most bidding. They liked to stay at the back so they could watch their opposition. The auction seemed to be progressing rapidly, Erin put that down to being nervous about bidding with more money than she was ever going to earn. She let the auction for the statue start without her. It was highly contentious with at least a dozen people bidding, seemingly at once. As the price increased and numbers dwindled she started to express her interest. In minutes it was just her and a rather attractive opponent. He looked like some sort of model, tall, dark and handsome in a crisp cream coloured suit. He was also not going to let it go, they continued to raise the stakes, he tried to scare her by going up in increments of half a million dollars. Erin was quite enjoying the ability to persist, her fictional wealth was infinite. When they reached the five million dollar mark he started to slow down, eventually giving in when he realised she wasn't going to let anything stop her. Grinning at her victory she spoke quickly with the organisers then made her way back towards the bathroom.

"You like Pietra then?" Her opponent asked, stepping right in front of her.

"Not particularly, it's for charity" She shrugged trying to step around him.

"That's awfully moral for someone who just spent a five million on a statue, surely you could just make a donation" He insisted moving to block her escape. She wasn't sure if she was reading too much into it but he gave her a funny feeling, the type she had learned to trust.

"Maybe I wanted to see how well you lose" She said, taking a different approach to see what he would do. There were plenty of people around and she could see Atwater watching her in the distance.

"And?" He questioned.

"Admirably" She answered.

"You are not a good loser?" He asked, phrasing indicating that he was not as British as his accent would suggest.

"I wouldn't know" She smiled, Erin was starting to like Madeline Payne.

"Maybe I'm being a good sport because you are beautiful" He answered after shaking his head at her quick response.

"In that case I insist we start the auction over, it's not fair for you to have surrendered to my looks" She said seriously, a half smile indicating she was teasing him.

"What are you going to do with it?" He questioned.

"I don't know, do you want it?" She asked not letting him see if she was serious or not.

"Very much" He answered instantly.

"How much" She questioned. If she sold something she didn't actually own for a profit she could pay out the debt and keep the rest she thought, smiling to herself.

"Almost as much as I want you" He replied, suddenly very serious, his almost black eyes locked on hers.

"Well I'm not up for auction" Erin said firmly as she pushed past him and entered the bathroom. Hiding in a cubical she was forced to text message Voight as other women primped and preened in the mirror. When she left the bathroom he was waiting, at least now she knew who he was. Cristiano Conti, an Italian underwear model turned entrepreneur.

"I apologise for being so forward" He said, falling into step beside her as she made her way into the crowd.

"I'm sorry for buying the statue you wanted" She replied, slightly put off by not having anywhere in particular to be. Erin was leading him randomly through the crowd, hoping to spot one of the people from her table so she could strike up a conversation. Anything to get rid of him so she could focus on finding out what was happening to the missing women.

"Stop" He said suddenly, grabbing her arm to prevent her getting any further ahead. It took a lot of will power not to turn around and fight him.

"What do you want?" She demanded snatching her arm away from him.

"I want you" He answered.

"You don't know me and I don't want you" She replied, eager to get away from him. Nobody seemed to think his behaviour was unacceptable, despite the fact he wasn't even trying to keep his voice down. If Atwater hadn't been watching her every move Erin would have felt scared.

"What is your name then?" He requested.

"I don't want to know you" Erin insisted taking a step backwards.

"Just your name, I'll leave you alone" He offered, eyes softening as he waited for her answer.

"Madeline Payne" Erin said carefully, it wasn't her real name and didn't mean anything but she needed him to think it was.

"Cristiano Conti" He introduced in return before turning on the spot and leaving. She watched him all the way until he disappeared out the front doors.

"Madeline, I didn't know you wanted that statue" piped up one of the women who had been at her table, Eve something.

"I think it will look good in my library" Erin replied, loving the way she could say something so absurd.

"Cristiano didn't look pleased to have lost it though" Eve admitted.

"Do you know him well?" She enquired, curious to know more about him.

"Not really, he's not my type. I'm not sure he's anyone's type since all that drama with his brother's wives" Eve replied, constantly watching the people around her.

"Wives?" Erin asked, questioning the plural.

"Didn't you hear? He was sleeping with both his older brother's wives. Deplorable behaviour for such a charming man" Eve revealed.

"Why would he do that?" She questioned.

"They're really only his half-brothers, he was written out of his fathers will when it came to the family business so he was angry at them I suppose. It's still no excuse. Nobody has forgiven him for it and he does not like that" Eve said, as if this sort of drama happened often in her social circles.

"He wasn't very pleased when I turned him down" Erin revealed.

"I bet he wouldn't have been. Be careful, he'll probably try again later in the week. He doesn't like to be rejected" Eve warned.

"Surely he won't try anything here" Erin said, probing for more information.

"That's what Lucille said and now she's been missing for three days" Eve said gloomily. Erin was familiar with Lucille Brockman, the second woman to go missing and only blonde.

"Do you think he was involved?"

"I'm sure of it, I just hope he hasn't done anything to hurt her"

"Is she a friend of yours?"

"Yes, we grew up together. Spent a whole summer on my father's yacht once" Eve said, smiling sadly. Erin finally concluded that their world was completely different from hers, yachts, libraries and multi-million dollar statues. It was obscene.

"So did the other women who are missing reject him too? Tara Short, Amelia Ebden and…" Erin had to stop herself, the news of Ashley Wu's disappearance probably hadn't spread yet.

"I don't really know, I never met them" Eve answered, seemingly not noticing the way Erin's sentence ended suddenly.

"Okay, thanks for warning me though. I'll be careful" She said, desperate to end the conversation and get this information back to the rest of the unit.

"Are you coming tomorrow night?" Eve asked.

"Yes" Erin answered immediately.

"Good. Without Luci I need someone to talk to. We can ask Tara and Millie's friends if they know about Cristiano. Figure it all out before the police like in a TV show" Eve proposed, clearly keen to get her friend back.

"Sounds good, I'll see you tomorrow then" Erin said. Eve walked away, slipping into another conversation in seconds. Erin made her way towards the exit, stopping to give Atwater a wine glass she had picked up off a side table on the way. "Thank you" She nodded, signalling that he could stand down as they'd rehearsed. She waited on the front steps until he brought the car around, taking on the role of valet and driver. Erin conveyed most of the new information to Voight during the car ride back to the district. Though she was eager to get home to bed she went over every last detail at least twice as they debriefed and made notes for the next day.

It was strange coming home to a dark and silent house, she took off her heels at the door and snuck through to the kitchen. Desperate for a glass of water. She dropped the glass in fright when something brushed past her leg in the darkness. Flicking on the light she found a cat watching her disapprovingly. In her rush to shoo the cat out of the house she stepped on a shard of glass, cutting her foot.

"You alright?" Kelly asked croakily from the doorway.

"Why is there a cat in our house?" She asked.

"I don't know" He said handing her a tea towel for her foot before opening the back door to let the cat out. The fluffy black feline seemed happy to leave. He cleaned up the glass while Erin applied antiseptic cream and a bandaid to the cut.

"I didn't mean to wake you" She said apologetically, following him up to the bedroom.

"You didn't" He replied, the bedroom light was still on and he had his laptop streaming a hockey game.

"I told you not to wait up, it's one in the morning and you have work tomorrow" She said particularly frustrated, she knew he wasn't keen on her doing undercover work but that didn't mean he had to lose sleep.

"Today, I have work today" He corrected, sitting on the bed to turn his laptop off.

"Exactly, you should be sleeping" She argued as she stepped into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

"Forgive me for not being able to sleep when you're out there putting yourself in danger" He replied as she watched him carefully from the doorway.

"I wasn't in any danger. It's just fancy dinners, the entire unit watch me, ready to move if anything happens" She explained despite the toothbrush in her mouth.

"So you have to do it again tonight?" He questioned.

"Yeah, I'll call you when I get home" She promised before popping into the bathroom briefly.

"You could stop by the firehouse on the way" He suggested hopefully when she returned.

"I still have to figure out what to do with Shay" Erin remembered.

"She can sleep at the firehouse, there's always someone there even if we're out on a call" He said, providing a great solution. She didn't want to burden Cindy, Hank and Jay were part of the operation and Gabby was working the same shifts as Kelly.

"I don't know. I'll think about it" She decided, joining him in bed.

"I'm glad you're alright" He whispered once she turned out the lights.

"You worry too much"

"Where's your ring?" He questioned, he had reached across to hold her hand the moment she had lay down, only now noticing the engagement ring was missing.

"In my desk at work, I had to take it off. I'm sorry" She apologised, she felt like she had apologised too much over the last few days.

"Doesn't matter" He answered, she almost wanted to turn the light back on so she could read his expression. To make up for it she shifted closer to him, cuddling close to try and comfort him. She was too tired to wait for it to work, falling asleep on his shoulder in seconds.

**It's been a while since I've written a case based chapter and this was quite fun, more soon :D**


	47. Chapter 47

In the morning Erin rolled over to find the bed empty, surprised that Kelly gotten up before her alarm had even gone off. She hoped he was just in the bathroom. Reaching for her phone to check the time she found that he'd left a note.

_You deserved some decent sleep, told Voight you'd be in at 9. See you in the morning. STAY SAFE. Kelly xxx_

Pleased that he's taken the initiative and frustrated that he had left without saying goodbye she decided not to dwell on it. Treating herself she stayed in the shower until she felt ready to face the day. Sorting through the information they had gathered and preparing to do it all over. Atwater had managed to get copies of the guest lists for all the events that week. They ran all the names through databases and found very little, definitely no one with a history of abducting women. Even Cristiano had a clean record. They already had access to all of the security so Powell was searching through to see if there were any interactions between Cristiano and the missing women. He seemed to have spoken to every woman at each event, though each time he locked onto a target and pursued her relentlessly. First Tara then Millie, Lucille and Ashley. Voight made sure to remind the unit that Tara had been missing for nine days, it worked as planned and they left for the golf club determined to get to the bottom of things.

Erin arrived alone again, though Halstead was joining her inside Voight forbid any interaction. The tone and venue had completely changed from the previous night. The dozen round tables were gone, replaced by one long table down the center of the room. They barely had five minutes to socialise, Erin searching the crowd for Eve, before they were asked to take their seats. She was frustrated but not surprised that Cristiano had somehow managed to get her seated next to him. There was little chance for him to talk to her though as the first speaker of the night took to the stage. Between each speaker, Erin lost count after the eighth, food would be served and brief conversations held. Eve was at the opposite end of the table, closer to Halstead, so there was no chance to follow up with her. At long last Atwater gave the signal that allowed Erin to leave, Voight had clearly decided they were wasting their time.

"Are you leaving?" Cristiano asked her as she left the table, desserts had only just been served and the speeches were far from over.

"Yes" Erin replied distantly before making her way to the exit. Cristiano followed her, a step behind the whole way. Out through the foyer then down the stairs to the valet station. Without Atwater there to drive her she had to wait for her car to be brought around. Cristiano saw it as his chance.

"So you are bored easily if you do not get to spend your money?" He questioned.

"Something like that" Erin answered. She had allowed herself the briefest moment of hope that she would be able to collect Shay from the firehouse and take her home to her own bed. It was too late though, Shay already be asleep in Kelly's office. At least she assumed Kelly had followed through on his plan to take Shay to work after her day with Cindy. She had been too preoccupied to follow it up. Now it was distracting her. Erin realised Cristiano had been speaking and she hadn't heard a word. "Sorry" She mumbled as she walked away from him, looking hopefully down the driveway.

"Madeline wait" He demanded moving quickly to keep up with her. She ignored him. Finally the headlights of her car appeared in the distance, they couldn't arrive quickly enough for her. "Will you be here tomorrow?" Cristiano asked desperately.

"Maybe" She answered.

"Please" He requested.

"Maybe" She repeated, the valet handed over her keys and she started to move towards the car door.

"Please" He insisted, grabbing her wrist so she was forced to twist and face him. This was becoming his signature move and Erin did not like it.

"Not if you're going to hurt me" She said, pulling to free herself from his grip. As if he hadn't realised he was hurting her up to that point he released her and stepped back apologising rapidly, in Italian at first then in English. The moment she was able to she climbed into her car and drove away. Halstead and Atwater had only just missed the situation but followed her all the way back to the district.

"Are you alright?" Voight demanded the moment he arrived. Erin had already taken a seat at her desk, typing up things she had overheard about the missing women before she forgot.

"Fine" She answered quickly, he sounded more concerned than was necessary.

"Well tomorrow night don't fight him, let him lead you to the other women" Voight instructed, his concern evaporating.

"We're not even sure he's the one taking them" Erin snapped, she knew she could handle herself but there was something about the way Cristiano acted in the heat of the moment that scared her.

"He can't be, we have him on camera before, during and after the times the women went missing" Powell informed, he had only just heard them and made his way upstairs.

"Exactly, he's a creep but he's not the person we're looking for" She said resolutely.

"He's probably paying someone to do it" Voight replied.

"What's his motive then? Most guys can handle rejection without resorting to abducting people" She questioned.

"After everything surfaced about his brother's wives he needs to assert himself. Punishing women who fail to see past his reputation makes sense" He answered, if he was right it wasn't a well thought out crime.

"Have we checked his bank records to see if he's paying someone else who's been there?" Erin asked Powell.

"I'm working on it" Powell confirmed. Erin slumped in her chair, eager for Olinsky and Ruzek to arrive so they could talk everything over sooner rather than later. She wanted to be in bed. When they finally arrived Erin took control and led the discussion hastily. Sure enough as soon as they covered everything they needed to Voight sent them home. Yawning the whole way Erin was so thankful to fall into bed, even if she was feeling lonely without Shay and Kelly. The worst part was that she couldn't wait around to see them in the morning. Voight demanded her presence bright and early with vital new information to share. It turned out that Cristiano was paying another guest, Phillip Roth, the money changing bank accounts within 24 hours of each abduction. It fit too well not to be directly related but they didn't have any evidence to prove it. That night Voight only had one task for Erin, enrage Cristiano enough that he would call in Roth, essentially she was to let herself be abducted. Back in her GPS enabled heels at last. She was so desperate for the whole case to be over, so that she could see Shay and Kelly, that she was almost looking forward to it. It was difficult to brush off Eve but once she had she made a beeline for Cristiano, he was only going to do something if she rejected him so he had to initiate the dialogue. Erin waited around for him, he was watching her from a distance. Ignoring Voight's orders she ended up talking with Halstead, something that immediately caught Cristiano's attention. Rather than trying to talk to her Cristiano simply walked over and poured his glass of red wine down the front of her dress. Halstead guided her all the way out to the car, just as confused as she was.

"Who would have thought trying to get abducted would be so hard?" Erin commented when they were back at the district. Voight kept things brief so Erin had some chance of salvaging her dress. She wouldn't have been half as annoyed if she hadn't planned on wearing it to Gabby and Matt's wedding on the weekend.

* * *

><p>Kelly noticed three things when Erin walked through the front door, first was the wine stain on her dress, it was the most obvious and also looked very much like blood. Second was the bruising around her wrist and lastly the look of exhaustion she wore. He wasn't sure who was responsible but he wanted to make them pay. "I'm fine" She said before he had a chance to comment. Making her way straight to the laundry she had removed the dress and pulled on one of his t-shirts by the time he arrived. He watched as she scrubbed at the stain furiously then left the dress to soak.<p>

"What happened?" He asked, blocking her exit from the room.

"Just work, I don't really want to talk about it right now. Is Shay asleep?" Erin asked, it had been so long since she'd seen her that nothing else seemed to matter.

"Yeah" He nodded, almost apologetically.

"I'm going to bed" She said, pushing past him. He followed her silently upstairs. She stopped in to check on Shay, sleeping peacefully in her crib. Then moved into the bedroom, he watched intently as she brushed her teeth and changed into her pyjamas.

"What's going on?" Kelly asked when she got into bed and turned out the light without a word.

"Nothing" She murmured, burying her head in the pillow.

"Erin please, we haven't seen each other for a day and a half. Then you turn up covered in wine with a bruised wrist. What am I supposed to do?" He questioned.

"Let me sleep" She replied, pulling the blanket up even further. Kelly decided to let her do what she wanted, they could talk about it in the morning. He ventured back downstairs and finished the documentary he had been watching, not absorbing anything as he tried to work out what to do.

* * *

><p>Erin was just as hesitant to talk in the morning. She had woken early and was feeding Shay breakfast by the time he made his way into the kitchen. At first she ignored his questions by pretending to be focused on Shay, then she rushed around cleaning and straightening things and after that she had to get ready for work.<p>

"Is there anything I can do?" He asked as she prepared to leave, reluctantly putting Shay down as she headed for the door.

"Can you buy me a new dress, for the wedding this weekend, and figure out some sort of present for them?" She asked.

"You know that's not what I meant" He said, clearly hurt that she wasn't talking.

"I'm sorry, we'll talk properly on the weekend. I just need to get this case sorted before then" She apologised.

"Alright" He shrugged knowing it was best not to get between her and her work. She stopped to give Shay another goodbye hug then left. Erin was relieved when Voight and Olisky shared their new plan, no more undercover work for the time being. All they needed was Phillip Roth's car, if it had traces of DNA from any of the women they would be able to charge him and interrogate him until he told them where the women were. It wouldn't take long for him to come around if Voight got him alone in the cage. Powell scoured CCTV from across the city in search of the car, eventually locating it in a hotel parking lot. Roth just happened to be making his way to his car when they moved in, Voight was quick to order his arrest. It took almost three hours for him to give up the location of the women, confessing to abducting them before they even had results from the forensics team. Even after this admission he refused to bring Cristiano Conti into it. The intelligence unit raided one of Conti's dozen homes in suburban Chicago and found the missing women. They were taken off to hospital, hungry and traumatized but otherwise well. Voight insisted they finish the initial paperwork, he still wanted Conti, then he would buy a round at Molly's. Erin skipped out and headed home, thrilled to spend some time with her family after a very stressful week. Kelly still wanted to know what had happened but put it aside in favour of a tower building competition.

**I know it seems like a weak ending to a case that I had a lot of build up for but they still haven't got Cristiano Conti… things might get interesting, you never know ;) Tomorrow's chapter is going to be massive if I'm to stick to the Chapter 50 as the wedding plan…!**


	48. Chapter 48

Erin knew that this was her only chance to talk to Kelly. They wouldn't get another opportunity with work and the Dawson-Casey wedding to attend. Taking a deep breath as she headed downstairs, she had spent an extra half hour just watching Shay sleep. Kelly was watching the television so she headed to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine.

"You drinking that or wearing it?" He questioned when she made her way into the lounge with the glass in hand. She couldn't tell if he was joking or angry.

"Are you still interested in hearing about my week?" She asked, ignoring his question as she joined him on the couch.

"Of course" He answered, turning off the television before shifting to face her.

"I had to go undercover to find four women who were abducted" She could already see that he didn't approve. "It was the easiest way to find out what was happening, which we did and they're all fine now" Erin summarised feeling it necessary to start with the positive resolution.

"So the bruise and the wine, how do they fit in?" He enquired trying to stay calm.

"The man responsible was just angry that the women had rejected him. I had to make him angry so he would want to abduct me as well, that way we could find them" She explained.

"Was it Voight's idea?" He demanded, anger rising in his chest.

"Was what his idea?" She asked, she understood what he meant but wanted him to have to say it.

"Using you as bait" He clarified.

"I was perfectly safe, Atwater and Halstead were right there with me and the rest of the unit were just outside" She answered, she wanted to reassure him but instead he thought she was being dismissive.

"So you were perfectly safe but the psycho kidnapper still managed to hurt you?" Kelly questioned.

"Kelly, it's just a bruise. I understand you don't like it, I didn't like it either but it's my job" She rationalised.

"So you got the girls back but did you get the creep?" He asked, after taking a moment to calm himself.

"Not yet, we're working on it. Voight isn't going to let this go" Erin assured reaching across to hold Kelly's hand. He ran his thumb across her bruised wrist, intentionally drawing attention back to the marks Cristiano's hand had made. All he wanted was for her to realise that her safety was more important than her work. In his mind anyway.

"Is he going to try to use you again?" He questioned

"Maybe, and I'd be happy to do it" She replied withdrawing her hands, she could tell this was going to be a point of contention.

"Even if I don't want you to?" He asked stiffening again.

"Yeah, it's part of my job" Erin reminded.

"Well your most important job is here, as a mother. The undercover stuff is too dangerous and unreliable. Shay needs you more" He argued.

"I know and I hated not seeing her but those women needed me too" She said firmly.

"Whatever" Kelly mumbled as he got up to retreat, there was no way he was going to win, not that he knew what they were fighting for. Her role in undercover operations was always going to be a source of conflict. He hoped she understood that he cared too much to remain level headed when she came home hurt. Even if it was just a bruise. Erin heard him moving around upstairs, not leaving the couch until she heard him turn off the shower. He was pulling on a shirt when she entered the bedroom

"What's that?" She asked her eyes draw immediately to the bag on her side of the bed. It was from one of her favourite dress shops, tissue paper spilling from the top indicating it wasn't empty.

"You wanted me to get you a dress" He shrugged.

"Oh, I didn't expect you to actually do it" She said as approached the bag, flattered that he had done what she had asked but concerned about his fashion sense. She couldn't help but smile as she opened her unexpected present.

"Well I did, and I got a wedding present too" He boasted, clearing their previous discussion from his mind as he watched the smile on her face grow. She unfolded the dress and took a moment to look at it properly. It wasn't something she would have bought for herself but the longer she looked at it the more she loved it. The purple and orange floral print, style and length were just right and it was definitely appropriate for the occasion.

"Thank you" She whispered trying to convey with her eyes how thankful she was, not just for the dress but for the way he cared.

"I hope you like it" He said watching her turn her attention back to the dress.

"It's beautiful, thank you" She said, putting the dress down so she could thank him with a kiss. Kelly needed more than one kiss to be convinced that she was alright following her undercover escapades.

* * *

><p>Erin arrived at work feeling eager. She wanted to get back into her regular work routine and find a way to take down Conti without going undercover. She was on her way into Voight's office to explain this preference when Powell emerged looking disheartened. Voight followed right behind him, stopping to lean against the doorframe as he explained that Conti had fled in a private jet. He could be anywhere in the world because some lazy airport employee hadn't run the required checks. Voight made sure his unit felt just as much to blame, they hadn't known he owned a private jet though it should have been assumed and followed up. Feeling slightly deflated Erin hoped the day of paperwork would pass quickly. It was a welcome relief to accompany Voight to meet a CI late in the afternoon but he sent her back to her desk as soon as it was over. Relieved to finally be free for a few days she stopped by the firehouse on her way to collect Shay.<p>

"I didn't expect you to be here" Erin said as she passed Gabby on her way to Kelly's office.

"I ran out of sick leave" Gabby groaned.

"Have you been sick?" Erin questioned, it had been a while since they had seen each other.

"Wedding planning mostly" Gabby informed as she pulled out her phone, typed something, then returned her attention to Erin.

"I chickened out and hired a wedding planner" Erin admitted.

"It's too late for that now" Gabby tried to laugh, she was clearly stressed.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Erin asked, certain she would come to regret it.

"Well there are about a million things to do so I'm sure I can find something" Gabby said as she ran her hand over her hair.

"I'll just check in with Kelly then come find you for instructions" Erin explained.

"Sure" Gabby nodded as she continued on her way. Erin paused at the closed door, unsure if she should knock. In the end she decided not to. Kelly slammed his laptop shut with such force upon seeing her that she was convinced he was doing something he shouldn't have been.

"What are you doing here?" Kelly questioned looking incredibly guilty.

"I just wanted to visit. Tell you I love you and maybe kiss you" She answered, eyes still narrowed as she tried to figure out what he was up to.

"Maybe?" He asked

"Yeah" She said reaching for the laptop. He shook his head fervently. "Okay then, bye" She said turning on her heels.

"Erin" He called after her but she kept walking. Finding Gabby was more difficult than expected, until Mouch informed Erin that Gabby was likely hiding in the showers to make phone calls to the florist again. Erin made her way to the bathroom slightly concerned that Kelsie hadn't yet brought up anything to do with flowers.

"Hey" Erin mouthed when she found Gabby pacing frantically as she rambled into her phone.

"Sorry" Gabby apologised when she hung up the phone.

"That's okay, what am I doing?"

"I need you to collect a parcel from the Mail Distribution Center in the city and deliver it to the church, it's the sign and guestbook stand but you don't have to assemble them. Just get the parcel before they close at six thirty" Gabby instructed, pulling sticky notes and a pen from her pocket in order to write down the instructions.

"Sure" Erin nodded, reading the note carefully to check she didn't need to clarify anything.

"Thank you" Gabby mouthed after answering her phone. Erin nodded in acknowledgement and left. Collecting Shay would take at least fifteen minutes, giving her an hour to get the parcel. Traffic was light and they made good time. The difficulty came in convincing the attendant to hand over the parcel, resorting to using her badge she stowed the parcel in her car and made her way to the church. She had never been inside the massive building before but instantly knew why Gabby had picked it when she did. The stained glass windows scattered coloured light beautifully, even in the late afternoon dim. After her first conversation with a priest in years her duty was done. She messaged Gabby to let her know then headed home to make dinner.

* * *

><p>"Anything I can do?" Kelly questioned as he watched Erin brushing her teeth and putting on Shay's shoes at the same time. Erin shook her head, finished fastening the shoe then disappeared into the bathroom. By the time she returned he had put the shoe back on twice then distracted Shay with the miniature torch on his keychain.<p>

"Five minutes and I'm ready" Erin said, dashing out of the room to pack everything Shay might need.

"We're still going to be early" He replied after looking at his watch.

"Good" She yelled in response. He took Shay downstairs and kept a close eye on her, Erin would kill him if Shay got something on her dress.

"Ready?" He called twenty minutes later when Erin still hadn't appeared. They had lost all the extra time he had factored in.

"Almost" Erin confirmed from the doorway. The car trip to the church as interesting as Shay removed and threw any clothing she could. One of her shoes hit the windshield, much to Erin's surprise, as they stopped at a red light. They arrived at the church, dressed Shay again then headed inside. Erin proudly pointed out the sign and guestbook stand she had delivered. Though she didn't really see the purpose, or the need for them to match. Kelly felt obliged to stop and talk with everyone while Erin was responsible for preventing Shay from destroying the floral arrangements along the aisle. They finally sat down and the wedding got underway. Erin missed most of the ceremony, her attention firmly fixed on keeping Shay quiet, an exceedingly difficult task. Kelly did his best to help but Shay wanted to converse with him. They didn't really get a chance to talk with Gabby and Matt until the reception. Kelly took over watching Shay to give Erin a chance to socialise and check everything out. If nothing else this was a great opportunity to see a wedding first hand. In the lull between dinner and dessert Erin found herself joined by Gabby.

"You've been watching me all day" Gabby commented.

"I've never been to a proper wedding before, but I have a pretty important one coming up so I've been trying to figure out how to be a good bride" Erin tried to explain. Gabby snorted with laughter.

"You're a detective and I'm not drinking at my own wedding, it's pretty obvious isn't it" Gabby said.

"What?" Erin questioned, suddenly confused, she had honestly just been conducting first hand research.

"I'm pregnant" Gabby announced softly after looking around to check no one was listening.

"Oh, I hadn't even noticed you weren't drinking, congratulations though" Erin replied trying to process the information.

"It's perfect timing though. I won't be allowed to work on Truck now we're married but I'll be busy with the baby anyway" Gabby smiled. Their conversation was interrupted by one of Gabby's cousins, Erin gave a quick wave and returned to the table. Shay had finally fallen asleep on Kelly's shoulder, Erin straightened Shay's dress then asked Kelly if they could leave.

"After cake" He agreed, it was the one thing he'd been looking forward to. The cake was pretty incredible, Erin was even more excited about their wedding cake tasting Thursday afternoon. She had avoided telling Kelly, he would just get overexcited, but had made a special effort to make sure he wasn't on shift.

* * *

><p>Kelly was confused when Erin ordered him to change his shirt and put on some shoes. Thinking they were going to the park he didn't bother to hurry. When they got in the car and drove in the opposite direction to the park he got confused. All was revealed when they pulled up out the front of a cake shop, massive wedding cakes on display in the window.<p>

"Kelly this is Kelsie our wedding planner" Erin introduced as they met outside the door.

"Nice to meet you" Kelly said politely as he held the door open for them all.

"At last" Kelsie commented before leaving Kelly and Erin to talk while she spoke to the owner. Neither of them had any idea how complicated cake making could be until they took a tour through the kitchen. Shay chanted 'cake' the entire time, much to the amusement of the staff. They looked through a photo album, pointing out possibilities, then finally got to sample the flavour option. Kelly could barely contain his excitement. Erin loved to see him so happy about something wedding related. He was always there for a second opinion but basically left everything up to her.

"We can't not have that one" Erin concluded after tasting the red velvet cake.

"But I prefer that one" Kelly said cautiously pointing to the more neutral butterscotch flavoured cake.

"Try it again" She insisted, pushing the plate towards him.

"Erin, I like that one" He replied stubbornly.

"But…" She complained, giving him her best pouting face.

"But you've made all the decisions, I want that one" He contended.

"Only because you haven't wanted to get more involved" She defended, slightly hurt he would use it against her. She had provided plenty of opportunities for him to get involved but he always volunteered to look after Shay instead. They both had the realisation at the same time, simultaneously looking to Shay who was happy sucking icing from a spoon.

"Not fair, she'll pick the red one" He complained, but he couldn't think of a better way so he waited to see the results, already forming rebuttal.

"We'll see" Erin said confidently as she placed the two plates front and center then lifted Shay onto her lap. "Which one Shay?" She asked. Shay looked confused then reached her hand out, slowly, indecision evident. At that last second she realised she had two hands and simply grabbed a piece of each.

"Well that didn't work" Kelly laughed.

"We'll just have to figure out a way to have both" Erin concluded, practically begging Kelly to argue.

"I have an idea" Kelsie interrupted before Kelly had a chance.

"Yeah?" Erin asked hopefully.

"It's a little more expensive but you can go for a cake for the night and cupcakes for everyone to take home. You're already having the ice cream so guests won't want very much cake. And sending people home with cupcakes is a great little thank you present" Kelsie explained.

"I have a photo of something like that" The head cake decorator added from his station across the room. Erin waited for Kelly to say something, eventually Kelsie's questioning expression got to him and he had to speak.

"Sounds good" He agreed.

"I think so" Erin added as a photo was produced, a medium sized, round white cake surrounded by layers of cupcakes, icing fading from white through to a salmon pink. "That's pretty."

"I like it" Kelly agreed.

"We can match the colour to the bridesmaid's dresses" The decorator offered

"We'll work on that" Kelsie said comfortingly to Erin, they had tried to discuss bridesmaid's dresses, something that would continue to be impossible until Erin actually selected some bridesmaid's.

"So we have butterscotch for the cake and red velvet for the cupcakes?" Kelly asked.

"That works" Erin agreed, it was the order she had preferred anyway.

"Very easy" The baker assured. They briefly discussed numbers and prices then placed an order, icing colour and decorations pending. They would discuss it and get back to them closer to the date. Erin needed to get Shay home and feed her some actual food before the sugar overwhelmed her system.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't think before I spoke" Kelly apologised the moment they got in the car.

"Its fine, you're right" She shrugged.

"I just want you to enjoy the wedding" He said softly

"How could I not, you've got to remember that everything else is just extra. The day is about you and me" She reminded.

"Can I take you out to dinner to apologise?" He asked, placing his hand on her thigh.

"You don't need to do that" She answered, though the fact that he had offered made her smile.

"I want to though" He asserted.

"With Shay?" She asked.

"I'm sure we can find someone to watch her" He replied, it had been far too long since their last date night.

"Jay didn't mention any plans at work this afternoon" She suggested hopefully.

"I would call him but it's probably better if you do" Kelly answered.

"Just call him" She said, turning the last corner before home.

"Fine" He said, taking her phone and searching through her contacts for her partner. Erin listened carefully as Kelly requested Jay's babysitting services. "He says no" Kelly relayed dejectedly.

"Tell him he owes me" Erin instructed.

"He wants to know what for?" Kelly asked.

"Tuesday morning" She replied, Kelly conveyed the message and sure enough they had an agreement.

"What happened on Tuesday morning?" Kelly enquired as he collected Shay and followed Erin inside.

"He made a rookie mistake while we were doing some weapons maintenance, the unit would never let him live it down if I told them" She said, vaguely enough that she couldn't be accused of going back on her word.

"I'll make her dinner if you want to get changed" He offered.

"Why are you being so nice?"

"Because I love you" He replied, she couldn't argue with that so she headed upstairs to get dressed. She stopped at the top of the staircase, something was wrong. Scanning the landing she spotted the problem, the cat that had caused her cut foot was back again.

"What do you want?" Erin asked the furry creature, not sure how to get it downstairs and out the door without touching it. It tilted its head in response then walked confidently past her and down the stairs, slipping through the baby gates with ease. Erin followed and let it out the front door, she really wanted to know how it was getting in so she could stop it. Having wasted enough time already she headed back up the stairs to get dressed, changing her plain t-shirt for a sequined top that she barely ever wore. There was nothing wrong with her jeans so she kept them and swapped her comfortable boots from some delicate velvet ballet flats.

"He's here" Kelly yelled up the stairs. In the time it took him to answer the door Shay had thrown her fork, leaving a lovely red tomato sauce mark on the wall, and resorted to using her hands to get the pasta into her mouth. Erin checked on Shay and gave Jay some last minute instructions before she was ready to leave. Feeling particularly generous she let Kelly drive, that and she wanted to see where they would end up.

"This is a bit fancy" She commented as he pressed the top floor button in the elevator, the _Cloudtop_ restaurant was located high above the city, with three hundred and sixty degree views.

"I'm very sorry" He reminded.

"Still…" She started, then decided to let it go and have fun. They were seated immediately, clearly Thursday nights weren't particularly popular. Taking their time to talk a little before ordering. It always amazed Erin that they could live and spend most of their free time together but still find something new to talk about. They ate their dinner in silence, appreciating the view of the city.

"I have a present for you" Kelly announced once the waiter collected their plates.

"Ooh, I like presents" She smiled, personally thinking that a night out with Kelly and good food was already a present.

"Stay calm" He instructed as he handed her an envelope, she looked at him, concerned and confused, then opened it. She pulled out three plane tickets.

"What?" She asked herself as she read the tickets.

"Calm" He reiterated.

"These are for tomorrow!" She half shouted, lowering her voice progressively as she became aware of their location.

"I know, I'm taking you and Shay on a pre-honeymoon, she doesn't get to come on the real one and you need some time off. It's just for the weekend, planned and paid for" He explained softly, squeezing her hand as he tried to gauge her reaction. She looked stunned.

"Tomorrow" She squeaked.

"Yeah, I'm taking the day off, you go to work as usual. I'll pick you up from work on our way to the airport and we'll be at the resort by this time tomorrow" He explained with a hopeful smile.

"Okay" She nodded, finally coming to terms with what he was saying.

"Shay's going to love the beach" He laughed.

"Yeah" Erin agreed. "Is that what you were doing on your laptop when I stopped by the Firehouse last Friday?"

"Yep, I wanted it to be a surprise" He answered.

"Well you have" She laughed. They ordered dessert and talked about his plans for the weekend, sleeping late, playing on the beach or in one of the pools and eating at the restaurant each day. Naturally Erin was more concerned about the logistics, what they were going to need to pack for Shay and how they were going to manage her in the confined space on the plane.

"I've already worked that out" He said when she raised the plane issue.

"Yeah?" She questioned.

"I just won't let her have her afternoon sleep, then she'll be tired enough to sleep on the plane" Kelly said, feeling particularly smart.

"Or she'll be doubly grumpy" She replied sceptically.

"I'll take her to the park before we pick you up" He added.

"Alright" Erin agreed, certain that would burn enough energy.

"What do you want to do now?" He asked, they'd already eaten as much as they could.

"Go home and pack" She suggested.

"Does that mean you're excited?" He questioned, it had been a massive risk and he needed confirmation that she was genuinely happy.

"Very" She answered, nodding enthusiastically.

* * *

><p>"We're going on a plane" Kelly told Shay as he carried her to the airport window to look out at all the planes. Shay had been unsettled since they'd arrived at the airport, she thought he was going away again.<p>

"We board all the way up the other end" Erin informed.

"Okay, well look at the planes up there" He said, following Erin's lead as Shay clung even tighter to his shirt.

"This is us" She announced when they arrived at Boarding Gate 23. Judging based on the people in the waiting area it was going to be a quiet flight, Shay appeared to be the only small child. Erin felt nervous, what if Shay decided to have a massive tantrum and annoyed all the other passengers?

"I'm not going anywhere" He soothed when Shay started to cry as the announcer called for their flight to board.

"We're going on an adventure" Erin added leaning in to kiss Shay on the head. It didn't seem to help much and Shay only got louder as they joined the line to board. When they reached the front of the line Erin handed over the tickets while Kelly finally got Shay to stop crying. They boarded the plane and found their seats, Erin holding Shay while Kelly placed their biggest bag in the overhead locker. As soon as Kelly sat down Shay was back in his arms not yet trusting that he wasn't leaving. They watched the remaining passengers board then made sure everything they could need was located somewhere they could reach.

"Sorry folks, we're going to have a little bit of a delay getting out of here because of the wind" The pilot informed over the intercom system after twenty minutes of waiting to take off. It was another ten before they even started taxiing out to the runway. During which time they re-enacted the first half of the Lion King with Shay's toy lion. Shay was getting sleepier by the minute, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Taking off woke her up briefly but as the plane levelled out she fell asleep.

"I still can't believe we're doing this" Erin smiled, reaching over to hold his free hand.

"It's pretty crazy" He whispered back.

"And awesome" She laughed, looking out the window as the city lights disappeared behind them. She raised the armrest and snuggled up to Kelly's side. Shay took the opportunity to stretch out across both of them. Erin was tired, it had been a long week at work, but too excited to even think about sleeping. Turbulence about halfway through the flight woke Shay briefly. Erin handed Shay her lion which she held to her chest with one hand while sucking on the fingers of the other. She slept through the landing and baggage collection, stirring slightly when they strapped her into the car seat for the short drive to the resort. Erin took Shay while Kelly managed their bags and bookings. Their first priority upon entering their room was to get Shay to bed. Erin was pleasantly surprised that Kelly had remembered to request a crib for her. It wasn't until Erin was unpacking her bag from the plane that she realised the problem. Shay's lion was missing. Without delay Erin called the airport, they forwarded her call to the correct airline who agreed to hand the toy in to the airport lost property desk if they found it. They would have to wait until morning to go back to the airport and see. At home it wouldn't have been a drama, Erin had two identical lion toys hidden just in case.

"You're more worried about it than she is" Kelly commented when Erin continued to pace well after he suggested the head to bed.

"She's asleep" She replied, the lion was her key strategy when it came to getting Shay to sleep. If they couldn't find it things would quickly get difficult.

"She won't even notice, she's in a new and strange place, she'll be too busy exploring" He comforted.

"Of course she will" Erin sighed, brushing her teeth before joining him in the bed, unfortunately her delay meant he had chosen the best pillow.

Erin quickly decided that she could get used to waking up to the sound of crashing waves. Even through the curtains she could tell it was a bright sunny day, perfect beach weather. Kelly and Shay were both still sleeping heavily after she had a cup of coffee so she left a note and headed back to the airport. The relief she felt when the lion was handed over was immense, she was secretly quite attached to this particular lion toy. The others hadn't been through the washing machine a dozen times after being thrown up on, painted, dragged across supermarket floors and through mud in the park. This lion was special. Now for the first time he was going to get sandy. Back in the room Kelly and Shay had eaten breakfast and were getting ready to go to the beach. Erin got changed while Kelly smeared sunscreen all over Shay, putting some on the lion too for good measure. Thrilled to be out in the sunshine they walked down to the beach. Twenty minutes later they made their way to the pool, vowing never to return. At least not while Shay was little. Shay loved the sand, too much. Within minutes she'd shoved a handful into her swimming diaper and another into her mouth. The sunscreen hadn't had long enough to dry and was acting as glue, turning Shay into a sandpaper baby. Shay didn't know what to do so she rubbed both sand and sunscreen into her eyes, screaming when it started to sting.

"That was not a good idea" Kelly realised as they rinsed Shay off under a shower, which only ran cold making Shay even more upset.

"Way too much sand" Erin agreed.

"I think she's still got some in her mouth" He commented as they entered the pool, it was the nearest to their room, and happened to completely empty as well. The pool water washed off the remainder of the sand leaving Shay much happier.

"We should get her into swimming lessons" Erin remarked, it was important for her safety and it wouldn't hurt to get her started soon.

"That could be fun" He nodded.

"I'll look it up when we get back" She agreed before tickling Shay's feet beneath the water. It turned into a full on tickle fight which then evolved to splashing. Shay laughed and squealed along with her parents who had forgotten everything else in the world, truly living in the moment. Completely soaked they trudged back up into their room and all climbed into the shower together. Warm and clean they ventured out along the beach to a café for lunch. Then they lounged around and slept the afternoon away, Shay nestled between her parents on the bed.

"I wish we could stay here forever" Erin whispered softly.

"You'd get bored pretty quickly, and all that sand" Kelly said recalling the horror of the beach. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to think of the beach without picturing Shay covered head to toe in sand.

"That was a disaster" She groaned, it definitely didn't turn out how she'd expected.

"But now she's been to the beach" He raised as the positive outcome.

"True, and you got a few photos to prove it. Hank will love one" She agreed.

"He's got quite a collection" He said, reaching across to run his fingers down her arm.

"He loves her" Erin smiled, she loved seeing her daughter and her father figure together. Shay softened Hank in a way she hadn't known possible.

"I know, it's good for her to have at least one grandparent in her life" He said.

"You invited your dad to the wedding" She reminded.

"But I doubt he'll show" Kelly shrugged, he had stopped caring about his father's approval as soon as he held Shay. The moment he knew what it was like to love another human being as a father he lost all respect for the man who had walked out.

"He might surprise you" She said optimistically, not sure that Kelly even wanted anything to do with his father.

"Is your mum coming?" He asked in retaliation.

"That's not fair" She complained rolling off the bed, it was a completely different situation. After eating a banana she forgave him, joining him on his side of the bed. The moment they kissed Shay woke up. Kelly laughed then convinced them to put on jackets and head out along the pier to watch the sunset. It was so windy at the end that Shay snuggled in the front of Kelly's jacket to keep warm, he kept one arm around Erin as well. They huddled together until the light faded then headed back in. Then they were off to the restaurant for dinner, and afterwards into bed for a movie about surfing penguins.

"I love you" Kelly whispered immediately before drifting to sleep.

"I love you too" Erin replied then switched off the television and joined him.

* * *

><p>Erin tried to enjoy every moment of the next day though from the moment they woke up she was disappointed they had to leave so soon. They spent the morning trying out the other pools then showered, dressed and checked out. Leaving their luggage in lockers while they wandered the beach, pier and shops. They bought souvenirs, some genuine, others comedic. They walked along the shoreline, Kelly keeping Shay on his shoulders, back to the hotel. With their luggage they returned to the airport, boarded their plane and slipped seamlessly back into their lives.<p>

**So while I would love to, I didn't make a big fuss over the Dawsey wedding because I'm saving all my good wedding descriptions… I went a little overboard on the storyline with Shay's toy lion (who I've very creatively named Roary) but I still get my stuffed tiger out when I'm sick or sad. Other than that this is a long and fun chapter in my opinion. The wedding is so close and I'm really excited so I hope you are too, let me know if there's anything in particular you can see happening :D**


	49. Chapter 49

Erin had been concerned that the pre-honeymoon would put wedding preparations behind schedule. Instead it provided a boost in motivation. Kelly was also making more of an effort to get involved in the process of wedding planning. "Alright, we can't avoid the bridesmaids and groomsmen conversation any longer" Erin declared early one Saturday morning. If they put it off any longer they wouldn't have time to organise what they would be wearing. It would also help to have extra opinions to settle the disagreements they were constantly having.

"I thought we talked about this, Katie and Matt. Done" Kelly said, already wishing he could go back to sleep to escape the endless wedding preparation.

"But I want to ask Nadia, so you need a second person as well" She explained.

"Why?" He questioned.

"It'll look stupid if it's uneven" She said, it was a struggle to plan the 'perfect' day and keep in mind that it was all supposed to be making them happy. All their guests would have expectations and she felt the need to meet them.

"All they do is stand there" He shrugged, taking a moment to give her a serious look.

"Exactly" She encouraged.

"Well I can't think of anyone" He replied with a sigh.

"What about one of the squad guys?" She asked, surely he could simply pick one of the six men he worked with every day.

"But I can't just pick one of them, it wouldn't be fair to the others" He complained.

"It doesn't have to be fair" Erin reminded sternly.

"I'm their leader, I've messed up enough in that role already" He answered.

"No you haven't. Think about it, who do you know that would be willing to wear a suit for a day to get free food?" She asked, only half joking.

"Any guy with a half a brain would agree but that's not the point. This is a big deal, it's our wedding and the roles are supposed to mean something. That's why I'll just have Matt and you can give Nadia another job" He decided, not fully understanding the role Nadia played in Erin's life.

"She deserves to be a bridesmaid, she's been working really hard at work and she's practically been my personal assistant for everything wedding related. Without her and Kelsie we wouldn't have achieved anything" Erin justified.

"So basically, you've already made the decision and I have to accommodate you" Kelly reviewed feeling it necessary to remind her that they were in it together.

"Newsflash: that's pretty much going to be your life when we're married" She replied, it couldn't be a surprise to him that she was so determined to get her way.

"I will find someone" He concluded.

"Good, you have until Monday morning. After that I choose someone for you" She said assertively.

"Fine" He grumbled, rolling out of bed to start the day with a shower. Erin lay back in bed to think for a moment, she didn't want to compromise but knew if she didn't he would revert back to observing wedding preparations. Continuing to think on it as she breakfasted with Shay then got on with the day. By dinner time she had come up with a solution.

"Alright, I know I'm being a bossy bitch when it comes to the wedding so I've come up with a plan. We both get three final decisions, when there's something we can't agree on you use it and the other person has to give in" Erin explained as they ate.

"Sounds good, but what if we both want to use one on the same thing?" He asked, it was the only flaw in the system.

"Then we can defer to Kelsie" She said, having full confidence that Kelsie would pick what was best for the wedding.

"Alright, deal. But you should only start with two to make up for being such a bossy bitch" He teased.

"Ouch" She replied, though she knew she deserved it.

"Do we have a deal?" He questioned, holding out his hand.

"Fine" She agreed, shaking it firmly. Instead of releasing her hand he pulled it closer, pressing his lips to the back of her hand. Locking eyes with her he tried to convey his determination to get through the rest of the planning phase without conflict.

"Well in that case I get the final decision on the car, and what the groomsmen wear… I'll save my last one" He informed.

"That's not how it works, you're supposed to wait until we disagree" Erin objected.

"I'm just saving us the trouble of an argument, though you are awfully cute when you're annoyed" He joked.

"Cute?" She asked, outraged that he would ever describe her as cute. It was a word for babies, or puppies and kittens, not cops.

"Undeniably" He smiled, her reaction proving his point.

"What sort of car do you want then?" She asked her lack of say in the matter a little liberating, if anyone had an issue with it she could blame him.

"Well after you, Shay and work my car is the most important thing in my life, it's only fair she's involved"

"She? Really?" Erin questioned, he had never used female pronouns to describe the vehicle before.

"You love her" He assured.

"Don't know about that" She shrugged, the car was great, just lacking adequate safety features. Seeing as he was the one who extricated car crash victims for a living she didn't understand his willingness to continue to drive it.

"Well the decision has already been made" He reminded, smiling at his small victory.

"Dare I ask what you want the groomsmen to wear?" She asked.

"Haven't thought of that yet, but they'll thank me when you try to force them into pink tuxedos" He laughed.

"Very funny, but we really need to work out a colour. There's no way I'm making Katie wear a dress the same colour as the invitations" She explained, hoping to convey that it was a serious matter.

"Definitely not, but please not tonight" He requested.

"Alright, no wedding talk for the rest of the night" She agreed.

"Good, the hockey game is about to start" He said with a grin that indicated he'd planned all along to use the game to avoid wedding discussions. It explained why he'd cooked dinner early.

"You didn't list hockey as one of the most important things in your life" Erin realised, the omission invalidated the entire list. He was left to think about where hockey fit in while she encouraged Shay to keep eating. "One more mouthful and you can watch the hockey" Erin bargained with Shay. They worked together to clean up the kitchen then headed to the couch to watch the game. Kelly always ended up engrossed in the game but Erin still saw it as valuable family time.

* * *

><p>"Jay is going to be your second groomsman" Erin informed when she called Kelly at 12:01pm on Monday.<p>

"That's not fair!" He protested, never expecting her to actually hold him to the deadline.

"I gave you two and a half days" She reasoned, it was perfectly fair to hold him to an agreement they had made.

"Erin, he's your friend not mine" He explained, though it wasn't actually a bad idea.

"Katie is your sister, you specifically asked me to include her" She reminded pettily.

"But…" He whinged in an accordingly juvenile tone. He thought her final decision policy was an admission of, and, apology for, her controlling tendencies.

"Well do you have anyone else you can ask?" She asked, deciding to give him one last chance.

"No" He groaned, once again she was right.

"Then it's done" She concluded.

"This counts as one of your final decisions" He stated.

"No it doesn't! This arrangement was in place before any of that started" She argued instantly, cut off by the bell that called him to work.

"I have to go, love you" He said quickly, she could hear them being requested at an apartment fire. She was completely used to his phone calls ending this abruptly but had never imagined she would recognise the address of the fire, her old apartment.

"Love you too" She mumbled, he was already gone. Not sure what to do she sat stunned for a few minutes, until Halstead started throwing paper clips at her. Realising that the apartment was no longer hers didn't terminate her attachment to it. Kelly was the perfect man for the job, he would do his best to save it she rationalised before getting back to work.

* * *

><p>"I'm really sorry" Kelly said softly after informing her that her apartment, along with both the neighbouring apartments, had been destroyed.<p>

"It's just an apartment" Erin said, trying to distance herself from the emotion.

"No, it was your apartment, then it was ours, it was Shay's first home, it was an important place. It's okay to be upset" He said, rubbing her arm gently.

"Okay" She nodded. He pulled her into a hug and held her tightly she reflected upon everything that had happened there.

"That entire end of the building is structurally unsound, they'll probably condemn the whole thing" He added, figuring that now was the best time to deliver even more bad news.

"What caused it?" She asked, she had barely moved into the building when someone tripped the fire alarm system. The sprinklers had been very effective, ruining half the paperwork from the realtor. If the system worked then it should have worked when the fire broke out today.

"No idea, there department will conduct an investigation" He explained, rubbing large circles on her back.

"Okay" She nodded, giving him a final squeeze before stepping back.

"What's for dinner?" He asked after a pause, hoping that it wasn't insensitive to change subjects so quickly.

"I don't know, you'll have to figure it out" She said, grabbing her keys and phone.

"Why?" He interjected before she had a chance to explain, he had already cooked two nights in a row.

"Because I have a doctor's appointment. There are plenty of options in the freezer that you only have to reheat" She explained quickly.

"What do you need an appointment for?" He asked, looking worried.

"Whatever you pick make sure Shay eats it all Cindy said she didn't eat much of her lunch" Erin said, either evading the question or genuinely more interested in Shay's dinner. Kelly couldn't tell but didn't have a chance to seek clarification as Erin kissed Shay and left without a word. The first appointment he let slide, the way she avoided his questions indicated it wasn't something he would want to hear about. He put it down as a sensitive, female only, health issue and didn't dig too deeply. After she attended a second appointment a week later and a third a few days after that he started to get curious. Curious and concerned. Trying to be thoughtful he made sure she ate well and got enough sleep but there was no obvious change in her behaviour. The only way he was going to figure it out was to ask her.

"Are you alright?" He asked, looking at her through the reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"Yeah fine" She answered without hesitation before starting to brush her teeth.

"You aren't sick?" He questioned. She shook her head. "Then why have you been going to the doctor?" He felt relieved to finally ask. It was frustrating that he had to wait for her to finish brushing her teeth to answer, he made a mental note not to have important discussions in the bathroom from now on.

"It's nothing important" She started.

"Erin, just tell me" He directed.

"We're getting married" She said not sure where she was going to take the conversation from there.

"And?" He asked, trying to understand what the wedding had to do with it.

"I thought I'd be proactive about health insurance, being married means we need to change our cover, but that involves going to check-ups. Each company recommended a different doctor" She explained, smiling triumphantly at the end. To him it looked a lot like she was pleased to have fabricated a convincing lie.

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" He questioned immediately.

"You've been really busy with the fundraiser for Naomi and I didn't want you to feel obliged to go to appointments as well" She answered, this time managing to internalise the smile.

"If you say so" He accepted, it was late and he wanted to get to bed. That didn't mean he was finished investigating though and he was already planning his next move.

"I'm sorry" She said sincerely, taking his hand as she led him into the bedroom.

Kelly didn't have a chance to pry over the next week and after that the wedding was so close he almost forgot. Besides, Erin had stopped going to the doctor so it couldn't be the serious illness he had led himself to believe. He divided his free time between fundraising for Naomi Newhouse's education fund and helping out with the last minute wedding tasks.

"How can we possibly have everything sorted?" Erin asked on Tuesday night when Kelsie called to confirm that there was nothing left for them to do.

"Don't question it, just enjoy it" He instructed.

"But we must have forgotten something" She worried.

"What else could we need?" He questioned placing his hands on either side of her head.

"I don't know, do you think we have enough decorations?" She asked, certain there must be something left to do.

"Definitely, what more could you want? An ice sculpture?" He asked jokingly, they really did have everything else already.

"Of what?" She demanded, pretending to seriously consider the possibility of an ice sculpture.

"A firetruck" He answered instantly, she couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm serious though, what else can I do?"

"Pack for our island adventure" He suggested not expecting her to take him seriously. She spent an hour folding and sorting clothes into her suitcase while he lounged on the bed watching. In the end she only stopped when Kelly practically carried her to the bed then trapped her in place, kissing her hungrily to distract her.

"Okay, I'll stop packing" She surrendered when he pulled back to assess her reaction.

"Good, I was worried I'd have to keep kissing you" He smiled, kissing her once more before turning off the light and settling into bed. It was the last time they would kiss before the wedding.

**Tomorrow we'll see if all their time planning pays off… **


	50. Chapter 50

**CHAPTER 50! I can't believe I've made it this far. Thank you all for reading :D **

"Let me take that" Hank offered extending his hand for Erin's bag. After a second of indecision she handed it over giving him a nod and a smile. She followed him as he carried it up the stairs into her old room. Nothing had changed since she'd delivered the bridesmaid's dresses the previous day, the wardrobe door still ajar, revealing the two dresses and her wedding dress. Hank placed the bag on the bed then turned to see her smiling, it settled his nerves slightly.

"Sorry" She said, blinking rapidly to clear her head.

"Don't be, dinner will be ready in ten" He informed, stepping out of her room so she had some time alone. Erin let her eyes drift back to the dress, butterflies already fluttering wildly at the thought of what wearing it meant. After a few calming breaths she unpacked her things. Pulling out her phone she smiled at the photo Kelly had sent, Shay had a piece of broccoli in one hand and some cauliflower in the other. He had teased her about feeding Shay marshmallows and popcorn for dinner. She didn't bother to send a reply, throwing her phone onto the bed before heading downstairs to see if Hank needed any help in the kitchen. The silence continued through dinner. Afterwards they tried to watch television but neither paid any attention to the program, Erin was thinking about the wedding while Hank watched her closely. Though she wasn't at all tired she made her excuses at nine o'clock and retreated to bed. Laying in the darkness, she wondered what Kelly was doing. He was probably in bed as well.

* * *

><p>"Want another?" Capp asked, getting up to take his empty beer bottle to the kitchen.<p>

"Nah, I'm good" Kelly replied, Erin had made him promise to have a quiet night. Having his friends over wasn't strictly breaking that promise. Even if she thought it was he had a perfectly reasonable way of justifying their presence. He needed something to distract him from how much he missed her. It was utterly ridiculous, it was less than twenty-four hours until they would see each other again. In fact in twenty-four hours they would be married. It was hard to admit that that scared him a little bit, he just wanted everything to run smoothly.

* * *

><p>Erin woke up feeling like she had only been sleeping for a few minutes, the light and chirping birds convinced her otherwise. Grinning madly she realised this was it, after months of waiting the day was finally here. Buzzing with excitement she made her way downstairs. "Good morning" She announced as she entered the kitchen to find Hank cooking breakfast.<p>

"Morning" He replied starting to serve the bacon and eggs he had prepared. Erin buttered the toast and they sat together at the table.

"You used to start every weekend by asking me if I had plans" She reflected with a laugh.

"Got any plans this weekend kid?" He asked, he'd used the line a thousand times over the years.

"Oh, not much really. Just marrying the man I love" She answered with a shrug.

"Not nervous then?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes.

"A little" She admitted shifting the egg around her plate to try and make it look as if she'd eaten more than she had.

"Good" Hank smiled, instantly more cheerful.

"Good, how is that good?" Erin demanded.

"Well not being nervous would mean you aren't taking this seriously. It's very serious to commit to spending the rest of your life with someone" He elaborated with a thoughtful look.

"Not helping, and I know it's serious. I'm more worried about leaving Shay for a week than about marrying Kelly" She explained.

"That's understandable, but I'll take good care of her" He assured giving her hand a quick squeeze.

"I know" She nodded, about to remind him that he would have plenty of help when the doorbell interrupted them. After exchanging a variety of looks she got up and went to answer the door. She would really rather they weren't running this far ahead of schedule.

"Hey, sorry" Gabby said when Erin opened the door, still in her pyjamas.

"Nothing to be sorry for, what's up?" Erin asked, stepping aside to lead Gabby though into the sitting room. It was unexpected but nice to have a visitor, the added bonus was that Gabby would know exactly what she was feeling.

"I just wanted to see how you're going, I pestered Antonio until he gave me the address" Gabby revealed.

"I'm fine, the perfect ratio of excitement to nervousness. For the time being anyway" Erin replied, it was nice to know Gabby cared enough to go out of her way to talk.

"My mum told me it was normal to be nervous but not to go through with it if I ended up puking" Gabby paraphrased, it had sounded much wiser in her mother's words.

"Don't think I'm that nervous" Erin said, now adding being sick to the list of things to worry about.

"I blamed morning sickness" Gabby laughed.

"Oh yeah, sorry, how are you going?" Erin asked feeling selfish not to have commented sooner.

"I'm fine, just impatient" Gabby answered, placing a hand over her now noticeably pregnant belly.

"Yeah, nine months is a long time" She nodded. Time seemed to pass differently once the baby arrived. Shay had been around for twice that long but it hardly felt like it.

"As soon as I'm able to eat normally again I'll be happy" Gabby said,

"Shouldn't be long" Erin said though she knew it was likely an infuriating comment, every pregnancy was different.

"Yeah, I'm over the morning sickness most days but I don't like the same foods anymore, it's frustrating. Anyway, it's your big day not mine" Gabby reminded, eager to get back on topic.

"True" Erin agreed, not knowing what else to say.

"You helped me out at the last minute so I was wondering if there was anything I could do for you to return the favour" Gabby said, finally remembering her actual reason for stopping by.

"Umm…" Erin said as she stopped to think. "Would you be able to look after Shay during the ceremony, Hank said he would but he's got to give me away first."

"Sure, absolutely" Gabby said excitedly.

"And promise to keep an eye on her while we're away" Erin added as an afterthought.

"I was going to anyway, godmother duties" Gabby assured.

"That's all I can think of" Erin smiled.

"Alright, well I'll see you there" Gabby said, feeling it would be intruding if she stayed any longer.

"In four hours" Erin blurted. Gabby laughed in response.

"Just some advice, try not to smile for the next four hours, your face will be sore before the photographer even gets started" Gabby advised as she stopped at the bottom of the front stairs.

"Didn't think of that, thanks" Erin said, trying to keep her face neutral. Gabby gave a thumbs up before heading out to her car. Erin headed back into the kitchen, Hank was reading the morning newspaper.

"Everything okay?" He asked, sounding concerned, as soon as he looked up.

"Fine" She replied a little confused. "Oh, I just don't want to strain my smiling muscles" She explained, he couldn't help but laugh. After finishing her breakfast, barely warm egg and soggy toast, she headed upstairs and rang Kelly. She needed to make sure he was awake and that Shay was behaving.

"Hello?" Matt Casey asked when he answered Kelly's phone.

"Hi, just wanted to check that everything is okay" Erin explained.

"Yeah everything is fine, I've got it sorted" Matt said confidently.

"Is Shay alright?" Erin questioned, not wanting to end the conversation until she had all the information she wanted.

"Yeah, she's fine. That's her playing xylophone in the background" He answered. She had been wondering what the dreadful sound was but assumed it was some sort of pre-wedding soundtrack someone had made.

"Alright then, thanks" She replied before hanging up. Confident things were still on schedule she grabbed her towel and walked across the hall to the bathroom. Hank had made sure to let her know that he had already showered, it meant she could stay in as long as she liked. She tried to let the scalding water wash away all the negative thoughts.

* * *

><p>"Are we supposed to be doing something?" Kelly asked, laying back on the couch after putting another movie in the DVD player.<p>

"Nah, it only takes twenty minutes to get dressed, add ten for Shay and it's still only half an hour. Plenty of time for movies" Matt answered.

"Wonder what Erin's doing then" Kelly thought out loud.

"Oh, it'll take her hours to get ready" Matt corrected, not expecting the semi-playful punch he received.

"She's gorgeous, it won't take hours" Kelly defended, trying not to be too offended.

"Not what I meant, I'm just saying the more women you put in a room the longer it takes to get anything done" Matt informed.

"We can always take Shay out to the park" Jay suggested from the floor, he was halfway through an alphabet puzzle with her. She'd worked out that the game lasted longer if she took apart the pieces he put together.

"That's a good idea" Kelly agreed, Matt might be relaxed about everything but he certainly wasn't. Getting rid of some of his nervous energy at the park sounded like a great idea. Halfway through the movie, when it started to get boring, Kelly found a soccer ball and ventured to the park with Shay and Jay.

* * *

><p>Erin had resorted to scrolling through the thousands of photos on her phone, eventually she dozed off out of boredom. The doorbell woke her and she rushed to answer it, Hank had already let Katie, Nadia and Leah in. Erin wondered what on earth they could need that would require that many bags. She greeted them and ushered them up to her bedroom. After teasing her about the posters that still hung on the walls they set about unpacking and getting ready. Feeling so much older than her two bridesmaids Erin lounged on the bed while they exchanged gossip. She had never really expected Katie and Nadia to get along so well, they were fast becoming best friends. Leah had offered up her hairdressing services and started with Nadia. Time flew and soon it was Erin's turn, Leah worked wonders, twisting and pinning until Erin's hair looked just as it had at the practice session. The messy bun style was anything but messy, each strand of hair placed exactly where Leah wanted it and secured with sparkling hair pins. All three contributed to her make-up, achieving the light and natural look she desired in no time. Nadia and Katie rushed to get into their dresses while Erin thanked Leah and walked her out. Putting on the dress was the last thing Erin wanted to do before leaving so she headed downstairs to check on Hank, looking sharp in his dress uniform.<p>

"Five minutes" He instructed, he had just received a text message to let him know Kelly was had arrived at the venue.

"That's it?" She questioned, surprised at how quickly time had passed.

"Yeah" Hank confirmed, watching as she raced out of the room to get into the dress. Katie and Nadia buttoned it up and stepped back to assess their work. Erin truly looked stunning, hair up and out of the way to show off the delicate lace that contrasted perfectly with her lightly tanned skin. The irregular edge of the lace sitting perfectly around her neck and wrists. Nadia and Katie were happy, after a quick look in the mirror Erin was too. They headed downstairs together, Hank complimented them all. The elegant dark cherry red bridesmaids dressed made Erin's dress appear even whiter. Katie and Nadia left, still needing to pick up the flowers on the way.

"We're going to be late" Erin commented checking her phone before handing it over for him to store in a pocket. If she hadn't been wearing a dress with sentimental value she would have requested one with pockets, that way she wouldn't have to rely on everyone else to carry her things.

"No good wedding runs on time" Hank reminded. She was ready now, waiting for him to make the first move to the car.

"Are we going?" She asked when he still hadn't budged a minute later.

"I just want to give you one last chance to think about it. It's not too late to change your mind, I'll talk to them and sort everything out" He explained, watching her reaction carefully.

"It is too late though, he already has my heart, we should have done this a year ago" She answered, unable to do so without a small smile.

"A year ago you didn't want to get married" He reminded, playing the devil's advocate was important.

"Well now I do, right now. So can we please go?" She requested, almost getting to the point where she left without him.

"Of course" Hank smiled, he didn't feel like he'd fulfilled his father and mentor role until he'd given her the opportunity to turn back and watched her fight for what she wanted. He started to move grabbing his keys automatically before switching them for Kelly's. Hank opened the car door for her and helped her into the blue 1968 Ford Mustang Kelly treasured. It took a little while for Hank to adjust to driving the car. They were about halfway between Voight's house and the botanic gardens when the first warning light blinked on. Not wanting to worry Erin for something minor Hank continued to drive, a second and third light followed and soon there were none left unlit. The engine started to cut out and he could no longer ignore the issue, managing to pull over just as it died completely.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked, wondering if this was some elaborate plan to stop her getting married. It seemed he was making an effort to prevent it.

"No, It's probably something stupid, stay here while I check" Hank instructed. Erin didn't have any way to tell the time but with each passing second she was getting later and later.

* * *

><p>Kelly stood waiting, their guests had all arrived and taken seats. He didn't want to make his way to the front until he knew she had arrived. Katie and Nadia brought the flowers, waiting patiently at the entrance for the bride. Matt was sent to talk to them, confirming that Erin was definitely on her way. Kelly left Shay with Katie and made his way to up the aisle, stopping to greet guests as he went. By the time he took his place Erin was officially late. Kelsie stepped in from the sidelines to have a quick word with him, assuring him Erin had put too much into the day to miss it. No matter what everyone was saying Kelly was still starting to doubt himself. In the extraordinary way minds escalate problems he managed to convince himself that he had forced her into getting married. When they had first met he had known she wasn't that kind of girl, but he had thought he'd be able to change her. When she accepted his pathetic proposal he thought everything would magically change, and he'd been right. Erin had thrown herself into wedding planning, the extra time apart strained and then strengthened their relationship. Then there was the issue of the visits to the doctor, maybe she was running late because she was sick. Either way it took a good talking to from Jay and Matt to stop him giving up so soon.<p>

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Erin had given up waiting and had joined Hank in looking thoughtfully at the engine. She really didn't know too much about the mechanics, just that it appeared to have all the right parts. Five minutes of fiddling provided nothing so Hank gave in and called a taxi. Erin was too worried about Kelly to be particularly concerned about arriving to her wedding in a taxi. What if he called off the wedding before she got there because he thought she wasn't coming? These thoughts occupied her attention until a bright orange taxi pulled up. Hank locked Kelly's car then politely carjacked the taxi, forcing the driver into the backseat with Erin. This way he was able to make up for lost time by speeding and disobeying traffic laws. Pulling up in the botanic gardens Erin didn't wait for the door to be opened, instead she got out, straightened her dress and approached the entrance. Quickly explaining the situation she greeted Shay and Katie while Nadia signalled Matt. As soon as Hank finished paying for the use of the taxi, with a generous tip to make up for his actions, the music was cued. Erin didn't have time to be nervous before she knew it the bouquet was in her hands and Hank had pulled her veil down.<p>

"You got this kid" He whispered as Shay led the way, in her tiny dress, the top half plain white with a red and navy print of heart-shaped spots for the skirt. Accessorised with white tights, red sparkly shoes and navy ribbons in her hair. Katie and Nadia followed closely behind, walking calmly and confidently down the aisle. Gabby collected Shay at the front and stood her on the chair to watch as Hank half dragged Erin into the building. Erin was tripping over her own feet, wanting to stop everything, take a five minute break to compose herself then start again. But this was it, her one and only chance so she pulled herself together. It wasn't until the halfway point that she even bothered to look at Kelly. Once he had used his final decision to select the groomsmen's clothes it hadn't taken him long to decide the best option were their formal uniforms. Navy suits with crisp white shirts and gloves. Jay looked a little out of place with his blue shirt but Kelly didn't mind. With Shay around Erin had become familiar with Disney princess movies, none of the princes looked anywhere near as good as Kelly. He had been watching her intently the whole time. There was no exaggeration in saying that seeing her for the first time, utterly beautiful in the magnificent dress she had refused to even describe, took his breath away. Once he started looking he couldn't tear his eyes away, trying to read her through the delicate, lace trimmed veil. When she finally looked up, he let out the breath he had been holding and smiled.

Hank stopped to whisper something to Erin before folding back her veil and shaking Kelly's hand. Traditional obligations met he went to join Gabby and Shay in the front row. Kelly offered his hand and Erin accepted, letting him help her up the step then position her correctly in front of the celebrant. She turned to hand her bouquet to Katie then stopped, enjoying a silent moment before the celebrant started to talk. She was too busy staring into Kelly's eyes to hear the first part of the ceremony, only paying attention when they were asked to share their vows. Matt pulled the rings from his hat, they had been stuffed through a hole in the lining and were a little tricky to remove. Kelly and Erin broke eye contact as they accepted the rings. They had debated the order endlessly, eventually Erin cashing in a final decision to go first. Now she regretted it as she cleared her throat and started to speak. Fidgeting with the ring as she did so.

"I, Erin Lindsay, take you, Kelly Severide, to be my friend, my lover, the father of my children and my husband. I will always be yours no matter how much we argue. I promise to forgive you for running into burning buildings if you do the same when I go undercover. I promise to serve you (breakfast in bed) and protect you, to the best of my ability. Together we can face anything" She finished with a satisfied smile. Shay had taken the other guests laughter as an invitation to speak, asking loudly for Mama while Gabby tried to quiet her. Erin looked over and smiled then focused again.

"Do you, Kelly Severide, take Erin Lindsay to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The celebrant asked clearly.

"I do" After the mild hiccup of removing his gloves before sliding the ring onto his finger it was his turn.

"I, Kelly Severide, take you, Erin Lindsay, to be my friend, lover, mother to my children and wife. You have ignited a fire I can't put out. I will always be yours, even on the darkest days. I promise to be more careful at work and to trust your judgement. I promise to love and protect you, fear and respect you. Together we are stronger" He responded. They had both started with the same template, adding their personal touches yet coincidentally saying very similar things. As he talked Shay fought both Gabby and Hank, eventually winning out to rush over to her parents. Erin wasn't at all thrown by Shay's presence, instead she paused momentarily to pick the toddler up, place her on her hip and keep listening.

"Do you, Erin Lindsay, take Kelly Severide to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The celebrant asked in his monotonous voice, he didn't seem to mind Shay's intrusion either. Then it was done, the ring was on her finger and he could sigh with relief. The hardest part so far had been waiting for her to arrive. After some further remarks from the celebrant they were asked to kiss. Not at all nervous despite the hundreds of pairs of eyes on them they kissed, nothing too long or too short. The same electric feeling from the first time they kissed coursed through their bodies. They pulled apart both smiling widely they turned slowly to face their guests. Erin wasn't sure what all the fuss had been about. It turned out the fuss was what came next. After signing the official documentation they walked back down the aisle together, hand in hand, Shay still being carried by her mother. Gabby was quick to find Erin and apologise.

"It was actually pretty important for her to be there" Erin smiled in response, Gabby was right, there was still a lot of smiling to be done. After greeting guests and accepting well wishes they congregated for a group photo. Then the guests were free to go home and return for the reception or wander the gardens. The photographer led them to a lookout where the city skyline formed the perfect background. Jay and Nadia stood next to Erin while Katie and Matt stood with Kelly, Shay content to stand between her parents for a few photos. As the photographer rotated through configurations of the wedding party those left waiting stood and chatted. When at last he was satisfied he had what he wanted they were free to go. Hank took care of Shay while Kelly took Erin for a walk around the gardens. They found a bench beneath an arch of climbing roses and sat to talk.

"You look incredible" He started before thinking back to the way he hadn't been sure she was coming.

"You look pretty amazing" Erin replied. "What's wrong?" She asked noticing his vacant gaze.

"I thought for a little while there that you weren't coming" He answered gently.

"Your stupid car broke down so I arrived in a taxi" She explained with a laugh, now it was funny.

"That makes sense" He sighed.

"I would have walked if I had to" She stated, he had no doubt she meant it.

"Feel any different yet?" He asked, rubbing circles on her palm with his thumb.

"Not really, I have a husband" She realised, the word seemed foreign on her tongue.

"I have a wife" He replied, equally amazed by the power of the word. Pulling her onto his lap he stroked her cheek lightly until she bent forward and kissed him. They didn't need words again for a while.

"My husband and I should probably get back" Erin said pulling him up as she stood. She had been telling the time by the level of light so felt disadvantaged when he pulled his phone from his pocket.

"We should" He agreed after checking the time.

"I love you" She said, stopping suddenly to look at him again.

"I love you too" He replied, kissing her swiftly. The reception was everything they expected it to be, just like the engagement party it was a gathering of close friends and family members. Erin forced Kelly into a conversation with his father while she found Shay. They ate, drank and danced just as expected. Though Erin made it very clear she wouldn't be dancing again anytime soon. As the evening continued Erin became less interested in celebrating the wedding and more concerned about leaving Shay for an entire week. Kelly picked up on the shift and declared it time for cake. It had turned out exactly how they wanted, or at least how he wanted. He used this third final decision to decorate the cake with a fireman climbing a ladder up one side. In response Erin had a representation of herself made, wedding dress, gun, badge and all. After cake and ice cream they no longer felt compelled to leave their seats. Shay had fallen asleep on her father, sticky ice cream hands gripping his suit. Katie and Nadia came over to request Erin throw the bouquet, apparently they had been betting with Jay and the rescue squad about who would catch it. Everyone was taken by surprise when the red, navy and white floral arrangement landed in Trudy Platt's hands. Erin told Kelly about it then leaned against his shoulder, trying not to fall asleep, she was so tired but she didn't want the day to end. Some people had already given in and left but the rest were waiting for Erin and Kelly. As their travel agent extraordinaire, one successful weekend trip to the beach his official transcript, Kelly dictated when they left. They took Shay to Hank's house and took their time to say goodbye over coffee. Then they returned home. Kelly insisted on carrying her into the house before they showered quickly and got changed into the clothes they had laid out to wear on the plane. Erin had been packed for days but didn't criticise when Kelly was still shoving things in his bag at the last minute. Then they packed themselves into the car, after double checking everything. They stopped by Voight's on the way to the airport to hand over Shay's favourite book of bedtime stories, really Erin just needed to give her one more kiss. Not that Shay had any clue as she continued to sleep. The airport was dull but they boarded the plane, hand in hand, ready to face the future together.

**The wedding was never going to be traditional and I've never actually been to a wedding…That's why it took so long to upload (lots of research). I hope this was believable. It took me an hour just to write their vows…Hope you liked them :DI feel like I've forgotten something...  
><strong>


	51. Chapter 51

**Sorry for the delay in updating, the site was down when I tried to post it last night. Today's chapter will be up in a few hours. **

Kelly shook Erin awake then led her through the airport as they rushed to collect their bags and check them for their connecting flight. He had managed to save a few hundred dollars and a three hour stopover by booking with two airlines. Erin wouldn't have minded the extra time, it was as if all of the exhaustion she had put on hold was suddenly catching up with her. It certainly wasn't how she wanted their honeymoon to start. The second flight was much more comfortable, they were in the first row after the bulkhead so they had extra leg room. And the unoccupied seats behind them meant they didn't need to feel guilty for laying their chairs all the way back. Kelly had spent the entire first flight watching her, they had started out snuggled together, whispering whatever thoughts entered their minds. Then she had fallen asleep and he let his mind wander. Genuinely feeling that he could look at her face for eternity and still not understand the complex being behind it. Now she was his wife he was going to do his best to get to know her better. He wanted to know the details about past she hadn't shared with anyone and the dreams she held for the future, their future. He fell asleep after midnight, not wanting their magical day to be wasted in slumber. A few hours later the cabin crew turned the lights on and announced breakfast, waking them both.

"Good morning" He whispered, taking the chance to kiss her.

"Good morning" She replied letting a smile spread across her face.

"Did you sleep alright?" He asked, the creases from the blanket on her cheek indicated she had slept heavily at least.

"Yeah, I don't really remember changing planes" She admitted.

"You were pretty much sleepwalking" He laughed.

"I'm pretty sure I just followed your shirt, which if you've forgotten, is hideous" Erin said looking down at the bright green Hawaiian shirt he insisted on wearing.

"One more plane trip and you can take it off" He whispered suggestively.

"And burn it?" She questioned.

"It's not that bad" He said, feigning hurt.

"You're right, it's worse" She smiled, he shook his head. They turned their attention to the flight attendant and gladly accepted their breakfast. Four hours later Erin was regretting how eager she had been to eat everything. Their plane had landed, leaving them an hour to collect their luggage and make their way to the much smaller local airport where the plane that would take them to the island resided. The smaller airport had a selection of much smaller planes, Erin felt bad about packing so much when she realised how tiny their third and final plane was. It also happened that light aircraft struggle in the moderate winds they faced shortly after take-off. The plane was bouncing around so badly she was getting greener by the second.

"Here" Kelly said, unfolding a sick bag he had taken from the seat pocket on their first flight.

"How much longer?" She questioned, she could only contain the nausea for so long.

"An hour at least" He said, rubbing her shoulder sympathetically.

"Great" She groaned, sitting back against the seat she looked up and closed her eyes trying to talk her stomach into keeping breakfast.

"Try to get some more sleep" He suggested, pulling her to his side so she could rest her head on his shoulder. The infuriating thing was that she managed to hold herself together the entire flight. It was when she stepped onto solid ground, the absence of jolting and shuddering confusing her brain, that she finally lost her breakfast. Sitting on the tarmac with Kelly rubbing her back as she vomited was definitely not the right way to start their island escape. After a few minutes she decided to stop feeling sorry for herself and get up. Their pilot, a cheerful young man called Bronson, was very apologetic for the rough flight and helped Kelly carry their bags up to the main road. There was only one taxi on the island so after finding out there would be a forty minute delay they decided to walk. The resort was visible from the airstrip and didn't take more than ten minutes to get there. Kelly dragging both suitcases despite her arguments. It was nice to stretch their legs after so much time cramped aboard planes. The resort was beautiful, built entirely of sandstone with bright green grass, tropical gardens and a massive swimming pool surrounding it. Neither of them understood the point of having a swimming pool when the ocean was so close, dazzlingly clear blue water and the whitest sand they had ever seen. The suite looked even better in person and the view was breathtaking, endless ocean to the right and barely touched rainforest to the left.

"This is incredible" Erin commented, pulling the curtains as far open as possible.

"Beautiful" He agreed softly, she tilted her head and gave him a questioning look when she realised he was looking at her.

"What now?" She asked, looking from the ocean, to her husband and then to the bed.

"Lunch?" Kelly questioned.

"I don't think I'll be eating for a few hours, you can though" She answered.

"Still feeling sick?" He asked, checking her temperature with the back of his hand.

"A little" She nodded hesitantly, she didn't want to seem pathetic, especially when the flight hadn't had any effect on him.

"I'm sorry" He said, hugging her tightly for a moment.

"I'll just lie down for a bit, you go find some food. Then we can go to the beach" Erin resolved. He kissed her cheek then retrieved her toothbrush from her bag, zipping it closed quickly when she returned with a cold bottle of water from the fridge. "Thank you" She said as she took the toothbrush and headed into the massive bathroom, it was the same size as their bedroom back home. Once she was settled on the bed he left. The moment he stepped out the door she was on her feet again, fishing her phone out of her handbag to call and check on Shay. Erin had been dying to make the phone call since the moment they had landed, well maybe a few minutes later, when the vomiting had ceased. She didn't want Kelly to think she wasn't enjoying being on holiday and definitely didn't want to admit that missing Shay accounted for at least half of the dreadful way she was feeling.

Reassured that everything back home was fine she curled up on the bed and fell asleep. Kelly returned, carrying a large paper bag containing the things he had bought at the local shop. Seeing Erin sleeping peacefully he shut the bedroom door and worked out how to operate the television. When Erin woke they headed straight down to the beach, it was late afternoon so after walking the entire length of the island as the sun set they headed straight to the restaurant. They felt a little underdressed in their travel clothes, jeans rolled up to their knees and still a little damp from running amongst the waves, but the staff didn't mind. They talked quietly for a little while, Erin turning away to avoid Kelly noticing her yawn.

"Let's go back" He said squeezing her hand a little as he pulled her up from the chair. Snaking his arm around her waist they walked slowly back to the suite.

"I'm going to have a quick shower" She said against his neck when he pulled her close the moment they were through the door.

"Okay, very quick" He agreed, kissing her hungrily as motivation.

"I promise" Erin nodded, heading into the room to grab a few things from her suitcase first. When she first unzipped it she assumed Kelly had run out of space and added some things to her bag. Digging down all she found were towels, almost all the towels they owned and some uninflated pool toys. "Kelly" She called.

"What?" He asked as he rushed into the room.

"Where are all my clothes?" She demanded, throwing a towel at him.

"Ah…well you see I don't think you need any. It is our honeymoon after all" He answered, adding a small smile and a wink at the end.

"So you unpacked all my clothes?" She questioned, reserving judgement until she knew the extent of his interference.

"Yep, I put a few things in my bag for you though" He said, unzipping his own bag to show her. He produced two bikinis and an assortment of lacy undergarments.

"How thoughtful" She said sarcastically, waiting for him to reveal the rest of her clothes.

"I'm serious though" He said, straight faced. She didn't want to but she was starting to believe he hadn't actually packed anything else for her.

"But what am I supposed to wear?" She whinged.

"Those are my favourite" He answered triumphantly pointing to the red set. At that Erin got up and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door as hard as she dared. He waited for a few minutes before realising she was no longer going to be having a quick shower. Settling in front of the television he found a hockey game to watch, so absorbed that he didn't even hear the shower turn off. Erin dried herself then moved into the bedroom to assess her options, once she'd decided she headed to the doorway, leaning seductively against the doorframe. The hockey was intense by Kelly immediately noticed her presence, anger still flickering in her eyes. That wasn't what caught his attention though. Her decision had been not to give in to his silly games, instead she stood there completely naked. "Erin?" He croaked, sliding forward to the edge of his seat.

"You have a lot of apologising to do" She replied, stepping backwards into the darkness.

"Better get started then" He answered turning off the television as he went. "I'm sorry" He said as he reached the bedroom doorway, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, a dangerous smile on her face.

"Prove it" She said hoarsely laying back across the bed. He crossed the room, taking off his jeans as he went. He stood before her for a moment then flopped down beside her.

"I'm really sorry, I wasn't thinking and I won't do it again" He apologised sincerely gripping her hand and looking her straight in the eye.

"Not exactly what I meant" She laughed, rolling onto her side so she was leaning over him.

"Oh, right, I can do that too" He assured as he pulled her onto his chest, kissing her gently. "I'm sorry" He uttered when they stopped for air. Kelly continued to apologise after every kiss, taking a break from her mouth after a few moments so she could catch her breath. That was hardly likely as he continued to attack her neck, soft, appreciative sighs leaving her lips. He rolled her onto her back so he could carry on down her body, apologising intermittently. Starting at her knee he worked his way up the inside of her leg, she couldn't bear it any longer. Grabbing his shirt she pulled him forward until his face was right in front of her own. "I'm very sorry" He breathed before kissing her softly.

"Good" She smiled, kissing him roughly. Teeth grazing his bottom lip as she used one leg to press their bodies together. Her hands worked lower down his back, clutching at the hem of his shirt. He lifted himself off her slightly as she drew the fabric up, then leaned against her as she pulled the shirt over his head and down his arms. He was crushing her but she smiled anyway, he was so close she could feel their racing heartbeats competing. Resting on his elbows again she moved beneath him, sliding her hands down his back and below the waistband of his boxers. She groans at the lack of pressure when he climbs off her and removes the last of his clothing.

"Will you forgive me?" He asked, standing before her as naked as she had been for him.

"We'll see" She mused as he moved back onto the bed. He ran one hand down her thigh, positioning her body perfectly beneath his. Then he leaned down and kissed her as he plunged into her with such force that she swore. She had been close already but his movements brought her right to the edge.

"Do you forgive me?" He questioned, he'd been waiting for this moment. His blue eyes scanned her face, her eyes shut tightly, bottom lip caught between her teeth, and knew she was almost there. So he stopped. Her eyes flew open, she groaned in frustration then nodded furiously. "Say it, say that you forgive me" He instructed, incapable of staying still any longer.

"I…I…I…" She stuttered "I for…I forgive" She continued, struggling to breathe let alone speak. He slowed himself, not wanting to give in. "Don't stop" She ordered, wrapping her legs around him to trap him in place as she processed the request.

"Say it" He demanded impatiently.

"I forgive you" She answered loudly and he finally let her go, crying out in pleasure she fought for a second, locking her eyes with his. Then she was arching into him, clutching at the sheets and his back simultaneously. With a grunt he followed her over the edge, making sure to kiss her the moment he regained voluntary movement.

"I love you" Kelly said as he drew away from her, resting on one elbow alongside her.

"I love you too" She answered immediately "more than anything else in the world."

"More than chocolate?" He questioned, mindlessly tracing the curve of her breast with a finger.

"Absolutely" She guaranteed, turning her head to kiss him. He continued to list things she might love more, each time she answered then gave him a kiss, there was no greater way to express her certainty.

"What about Shay?" He challenged when he had run out of other options, she had been drifting off but this caught her attention and forced her awake.

"Okay, I lied. I love Shay more than anything in the world. But you're a close second" Erin admitted thoughtfully.

"I wouldn't want it any other way" He assured, kissing her forehead lightly as he pulled the sheets up over her, holding her as she fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"So, Mrs Severide, what are we doing today?" Kelly questioned over breakfast. He had woken her up by handing her his Hawaiian shirt, requesting she put it on before breakfast was delivered.<p>

"You know I'm not changing my name" Erin reminded firmly.

"Just for this week?" He requested.

"If you have to" She surrendered.

"I do" He laughed. They ended up heading to the beach. Erin quickly got over any hesitation when it came to wearing so little, the way Kelly looked at her was enough to quash any self-consciousness she felt. A complex display of his sand construction skills left them with a hot tub sized pool, designed specifically for them to lounge in. After a quick lunch of tropical fruits they swam out to the reef and snorkelled all afternoon. The next day they didn't feel the need to leave their room at all, food, sleep and each other all they desired. They felt as if they had missed an opportunity when it rained nonstop for two days. But they managed to occupy themselves in other ways. When it was finally clear again the following day they walked up the beach and made their own trail into the rainforest, they didn't need a map, it would be impossible to get lost on such a small island. After walking for a few hours they discovered a waterfall, it seemed completely untouched by humans.

"I think I need to make an apology" Kelly said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as she pulled one of his shirts off and entered the water.

"Not out here" She shook her head, "and you don't have anything to apologise for."

"Please" He asked, tugging at the ties of her bikini.

"No" She insisted, kissing him quickly before climbing the slippery rocks to see if she could get high enough to see the ocean. He trailed her and they found a ledge, spray from the waterfall distorting the view of the uninterrupted horizon. They stayed until the sun started to set then made their way back, not wanting to get lost in the rainforest at night time. Realising they were completely disoriented they walked until they reached the beach and followed it around until they eventually reached the resort.

"I have something for you" He said as she looked amongst his shirts for one to wear to dinner. She really hoped the staff hadn't noticed her wearing the same pair of jeans morning, noon and night.

"Really? What?" She asked eagerly.

"This" He answered, sliding the wardrobe open to remove her favourite green dress, miraculously uncreased on the hanger.

"How did you…?" She started to question then changed her mind, accepting the dress before disappearing into the bathroom. He would never have given it to her if he knew it would quadruple the time it took her to get ready. Using the extra time to change into equivalently formal attire he was still left waiting. It was well worth it in the end.

"I married the most beautiful woman in the world" He realised aloud as she stepped out of the bathroom. Then he recognised the same hockey teams that had been playing on the first night were versing each other again. Forgetting the Blackhawks entirely, these were his favourites from now on.

"I married a fireman" She replied with the same sentiment, stealing the remote to turn off the television. They went to dinner, remaining in contact the entire time, her foot on his leg then hand in hand while waiting for dessert. Feeling guilty for eating excessively yet again she requested they walk along the beach before bed.

"We should go back to the waterfall tomorrow" He suggested, looking out across the moon dappled waves.

"Hmm…maybe" She agreed

"It would be memorable" He encouraged.

"No, anyone could see"

"Please" He pleaded.

"Definitely not. I'm your wife, which means it's my job to say no" She concluded. In retaliation he gave her a shove, she was mid step and caught off guard toppling to the sand. A wave washed up, soaking her as he apologised and pulled her back to her feet. She laughed but asked to return to the room. He made up for the missed opportunity at the waterfall later that night. Turning the shower on as they lay in the bath to ensure realism as he had his way with her. Erin had to fumble for the plug rather urgently to prevent the bath overflowing. It was certainly memorable.

* * *

><p>"Sun, surf, sand and sex" She concluded on their final night.<p>

"I could definitely live like this" He said confidently.

"I don't think that's an option, we have Shay to think about" She said, only just remembering to check her phone for messages. After the first day she stopped calling every couple of hours, in fact by midweek she was lucky to remember to call at all.

"True" He realised disappointedly.

"It would only get more complicated if we had another" She added carefully.

"Complicated isn't bad" He defended quickly, she laughed a little.

"If we did have another would you want a girl or a boy?" She questioned, it was purely hypothetical.

"Doesn't matter to me, Shay's going to be an amazing sister either way" He answered assuredly.

"I miss her" Erin said sadly.

"Me too, but we'll get to see her soon" Kelly replied, trying to cheer her up. After spending the next day in transit they would get home very early in the morning, reluctant but ready to get back into ordinary life.

"Oh god" She groaned clearly having just remembered something.

"What?" He questioned.

"We have to go on that bloody plane again" She complained, just the thought of it made her feel green.

"No, I switched for tickets on the ferry, it takes longer so we won't have as long to wait at the airport" He explained, it had only taken five minutes of negotiation and was worth it for her comfort.

"Thank you" She said before showering him with kisses to show her appreciation. It turned out that there was nothing to be thankful for. Her motion sickness was considerably worse on the lurching waves.

**That was a fun chapter to write, I hope you enjoyed reading it :D **


	52. Chapter 52

"Do you think she'll have grown much?" Erin asked quietly as the plane started its descent. She had been looking forward to arriving back in Chicago all day but now she was feeling guilty for leaving in the first place.

"No, it's only been a week" Kelly comforted, rubbing her leg gently.

"But it was a long week" She worried.

"Not long enough" He answered, looking away from the movie to give her a reassuring smile.

"She's probably forgotten us" Erin catastrophized.

"You talked to her two days ago, she hasn't forgotten you" He laughed, wondering why she was so worried.

"Okay" She accepted looking out at the bright city lights. The island had been incredible but deep down she thought the city was prettier, at least from high above where the horrible things people did to each other weren't so obvious. It didn't matter that the crime rate was so high, it kept her in a job, and it was home. Anxiety grew in her chest as the plane touched down. Despite the fact it was one in the morning Hank had guaranteed he would be at the airport to greet them. Erin grinned when Kelly stopped to help an elderly lady get her bag from the overhead locker, again feeling certain she had married the right man. They spotted Hank straight away, looking slightly odd with Shay in a pink fleece sleeping bag, in his arms.

"Hey" Erin greeted taking Shay straight away, the sleeping toddler didn't even stir.

"Hey, you're looking great. Did you have fun?" Hank replied before giving Kelly a nod of approval.

"Yeah, it was great" Erin answered, smiling as she made eye contact with Kelly. They discussed the island as they made their way through the airport to collect their luggage. Hank explained that while he did expect to see Erin at work, he wouldn't mind if she arrived late. Kelly returned with their suitcases, slightly out of breath. "You sure you're fit enough for work?" She asked him.

"Yeah. Someone tried to take your bag, his was the same but he didn't bother to check the tag" He enlightened as they followed Hank to the parking complex.

"Oh, well in that case, thank you. Those clothes are so important to me" She laughed. There wasn't really much to talk about on the drive home. Hank left them standing at the end of the driveway, eager to get home to his own bed. Erin managed Shay and the front door while Kelly took their bags straight to the laundry, unpacking their toiletries to take upstairs. They got ready for bed quickly and climbed in together. Erin insisted Shay spend the night in their bed, so all they could do was hold hands as they fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"Mama!" Shay squealed as soon as she processed what she was seeing. Both Erin and Kelly jolted awake, it had only taken a week to forget the joys of early mornings.<p>

"Hey baby" Erin replied, hugging and kissing her daughter.

"Didn't miss me did you?" Kelly asked.

"Daddy" Shay complained, moving like a caterpillar to get across the bed, her sleeping bag impeding her movement.

"Of course she did" Erin said with a sceptical look as she checked her phone. Surprised by the way they were already waking up at the same time they usually did.

"Miss 'oo" Shay nodded as she grabbed his hair, pulling until he tickled her to make her stop.

"We should get ready for work" Erin decided, stretching before tossing back the blankets.

"I had so much fun so don't take this the wrong way, but I'm really looking forward to getting back" He said as he continued to tickle Shay.

"Me too" She laughed, removing Shay before the screaming started. The three of them headed downstairs for breakfast, they worked together seamlessly and had breakfast on the table in record time. Shay ate considerably more than Erin expected, it suggested they had arrived home in time for a growth spurt. Feeling ridiculously efficient, and possibly forgetful, Erin had plenty of time to play with Shay before they had to leave.

"I can't do it" Kelly said, concern evident in his voice as he stepped into the lounge room to say goodbye.

"Yes you can" Erin assured.

"Come to the firehouse for dinner?" He asked, spending any time apart, even for work, seemed unnecessary.

"Maybe" She answered, not sure how exhausted she would be after a full day at work.

"You have to, I'll die without you" He complained, already looking miserable.

"I love you" She said, standing up to kiss him. "Now go to work."

"I love you two" He said looking from his wife to his daughter. Erin took Shay out to the front garden where they stood and waved goodbye when Matt stopped by to collect Kelly. Despite numerous hushed conversations with the mechanic over the last week his car still wasn't running, and wasn't likely to be anytime soon. Erin gathered Shay's things and locked up, knowing the hardest part was still to come. Shay started crying the moment they pulled up out the front of the Herrmann's house.

"It's just for the day" Erin tried to comfort as Shay fought to keep her seat belt on.

"Mama!" Shay wailed as Erin finally got her loose.

"I'll see you tonight" She assured as they headed up the front path. Shay was so loud that the door was already open when they reached the top of the stairs.

"Hi, how was it?" Cindy asked excitedly.

"It was great" Erin answered, trying to get Shay to detach herself.

"She'll settle, she was really great all week" Cindy assured managing to prise Shay away.

"Thank you, for taking such good care of her" Erin said to Cindy. "Be good baby, mama love you and will be back tonight to pick you up, I promise" She added to Shay.

"Mama NO" Shay commanded.

"Have a nice day" Cindy spoke over Shay's cried, turning Shay's desperate attempts to grab her mother into something resembling a wave.

"You too" Erin replied as she turned and walked out. It was hard to leave Shay screaming but staying longer would only make it worse. She used the drive to work to pack away all her wedding and honeymoon memories, trading them for long term cases and a list CI's to catch up with.

"What a tan" Platt commented the moment Erin reached the top of the front stairs.

"It's nice to be back" She replied, continuing on up to intelligence. It took her a moment longer than she would have liked to enter her code. It was going to take a few days to shift back into work mode.

"Lindsay's back!" Antonio called and the rest of the unit rushed out to greet her. Voight ordered them back to work after a few minutes.

"It's nice to know you missed me though" She smiled settling in behind her desk, preparing herself for the insane number of unanswered emails she was about to face.

"I let Halstead drive" Antonio warned when he slid across on his chair.

"Great" She sighed, now she would have to contend with a grumpy partner.

"That's pretty" He commented, noticing she had changed her computer background. Just seeing the number of emails made her need to take a break, changing her background to a photo of the waterfall was the motivation she needed.

"It was amazing" She sighed.

"What was amazing?" Halstead questioned as he rounded her desk to see what they were looking at, closely followed by Ruzek.

"The island, everything was beautiful. That's a waterfall we found in the rainforest" She explained.

"Nice" Halstead nodded.

"I really hope it isn't ruined by tourists the way some of the other places have been" She said a little sadly, they hadn't been home twenty-four hours and she was already looking forward to a return trip. "What?" She questioned hesitantly looking over her shoulder at Ruzek's tilted head.

"Just picturing you having sex there" Ruzek answered honestly.

"EW!" Halstead complained.

"Well don't!" She snapped at the same time. Antonio simply pushed off and slid back to his own desk.

"Dude, she's my partner, don't be stupid" Halstead complained, punching Ruzek's arm.

"It was their honeymoon" The younger man justified. Lindsay and Halstead shared a look, both silently agreeing to let it go. She wondered how she had missed this.

* * *

><p>Dinner at the firehouse was great up until the point Shay climbed onto the table and shared the new word she had learned. "Fuck!" She yelled, incredibly innocently. Erin's look of horror matched Kelly's and the whole room fell silent. Not knowing what to do and but not wanting to make a fuss Erin signalled for everyone to continue their conversations.<p>

"Shay" Erin scolded as she lifted her off the table.

"Mama" Shay replied with a grin. Erin quickly said goodbye to everyone, a little embarrassed but angry at the same time. It wasn't a word Shay would have heard around, someone had said it to her, more than once. As a detective it was her role to find out who.

"What was that?" Kelly questioned as he followed them out to the car.

"No idea" She sighed.

"We'll sort it out, you just take her home and get her to bed. I'll see you in morning" He said, giving her a goodnight kiss before being gentlemanly and opening the car door for her.

"I don't know what to do if she says it again" She complained through the open window.

"Just ignore it" He advised stepping back to watch them drive away. The moment Shay was asleep Erin got to work, she hated having to ask Hank but he was a suspect who needed to be ruled out. He was as surprised as she was by the new addition to Shay's vocabulary. The only other person on the list of suspects was Jay, it was hardly likely that Cindy, Gabby, Katie or Nadia were responsible. She had hoped it wasn't him, not after he'd dealt with Ruzek's stupidity so gallantly.

"What's going on?" Jay questioned instead of answering the phone with a greeting the way people normally did.

"I need to talk to you about Shay" She started, hoping he would come straight out and admit it.

"Is everything alright?" He asked. She wished they were speaking in person so she could read his body language.

"She said something tonight, a new word, and I'm not sure where she learned it" Erin explained.

"Oh god! Erin I'm so sorry! I was looking after her while watching the hockey, we were losing really badly, I completely forgot about her being there. I told her not to say it but that might have just made it worse. I'm really sorry" He apologised sounding rather upset.

"Well…I don't know…just don't do it again" She said after taking a moment to think, the damage had already been done.

"What can I do to make up for it?" He asked.

"Nothing, its fine" She replied, the last thing she needed was her baby daughter cursing like a sailor.

"Please?" He asked

"It's totally fine" She sighed.

"How about Thursday, I'll watch her for your date night" Jay suggested hopefully.

"Alright" Erin agreed, he would only keep persisting until she agreed to something. "But no hockey" she added.

"Never again" He assured. Now that the mystery had been solved she could get to sleep.

* * *

><p>As the weeks passed by Erin kept expecting to wake up and feel the bliss of being newlyweds had worn off. They hadn't wanted being married to change anything but it definitely had. Date night was a weekly occurrence - Jay making an effort to expand Shay's vocabulary more productively as penance - and they were spending all their free time together as a family. It was exactly what Erin had wanted but now, sitting in the doctor's waiting room, she wasn't sure she'd made the right decision.<p>

**Oooh….decision?! **


	53. Chapter 53

Thrilled and terrified. It had been 43 days since Erin had felt that exact combination of emotions. Last time she had been walking down the aisle, now she was simply walking down the ramp of the medical clinic. The only major difference was the bandaid on her elbow. She got in her car and drove back to work, trying to compartmentalize as she went. With a deep breath and a sigh she settled behind her desk.

"Lindsay, my office, now" Voight barked as he rushed across the room.

"Uh-oh, what did you do?" Halstead asked as she put down her pen.

"I have no idea" Lindsay muttered as she got up and headed for Voight's office, making sure to shut the door before sitting down. "What's going on?" She asked when he continued to read the file in his hands.

"We might have a new case, a big one" He informed, looking up a moment later.

"How big?" She questioned, siting up straight in preparation.

"Undercover for a month big" He answered confidently.

"A month?" She asked, so shocked she stood up. How could he even consider her for that kind of thing?

"Just during the days, we'll cover your tracks and figure it out so you can still be home every night and for weekends" Voight explained, wondering why she was taking it so badly.

"But…" She started, pacing back and forth in front of his desk.

"It's a great opportunity to get on top of all the robberies that have been happening recently, you just work as an administrative assistant at a pawn shop we know to be dealing stolen goods" He added, trying to convince her that there was the potential for considerable gains.

"I can't" Lindsay answered, finally calm enough to sit down again.

"It's an office job, you won't be in harm's way" He reiterated.

"I can't risk it" She concluded after considering it for all of five seconds, it was so far from being a good idea that she didn't even need to consider it.

"I know you're married now and that you've been working hard to put family first but we need you on this one" He said, it was his last opportunity to get her to agree without making it an order.

"It's not that" She replied, shaking her head. The timing couldn't be any worse.

"Then what?" He demanded, watching her carefully. It was tempting for her to lie, or refuse without justification but the longer she thought about it the more important it became to tell the truth.

"I might be pregnant, I was at the doctor not meeting a friend for lunch" She confessed, taking an hour long lunchbreak was so unusual for her that she felt the need to clear it with him first.

"Oh?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows accordingly. "I didn't know you were…"

"Well. Yeah" She answered vaguely adding a nod at the last second.

"Okay. When will you know?" Voight asked, trying to remain calm even though it was a sudden and unexpected revelation. He was starting to feel the slightest bit of pride fluttering in his chest.

"Tomorrow" She answered trying not to let her anxiety show.

"I'll get Burgess to do it. It'll be good experience for her" He decided.

"Alright. I'm sorry" Lindsay said

"Don't be, this is what you want. Isn't it?" He asked

"Yeah, absolutely" She answered, quickly but not very genuinely.

"You don't sound very sure"

"It was my decision" She said sharply. This had been her plan, she'd spoken to doctors and worked out dates. She just hadn't expected it to work quite so well.

"But you're married" He reminded, implying that Kelly was somehow responsible. First he'd convinced a sceptic to believe in marriage and now he might be about to get his wish for another child as well.

"He doesn't even know" She corrected quickly.

"Alright" He accepted, now he just had to trust that the time he'd had to raise her was sufficient. That and the fact she was an adult who needed to make her own decisions.

"I'll get back to work" She said, getting up and leaving his office before he could say anything further. This had to top the list of their most awkward conversations.

* * *

><p>"How was your day?" Kelly questioned the moment she walked through the front door.<p>

"Good, how was yours?" Erin replied, hanging her coat and removing her boots.

"Awesome, I took Shay ice skating again. She loved it" He beamed, while he loved doing things as a family it was great to have a father daughter activity.

"Cool. Where is she?" Erin questioned moving through the lounge room, looking for Shay.

"She was right….oh" He said as he scanned the room and realised Shay was no longer playing with her farmyard animals.

"Shay" She called and within seconds found the cheeky toddler, her giggles giving away her hiding place.

"Shouldn't have taught her hide and seek, she doesn't seem to understand that the game ends" He said as he followed them into the kitchen.

"What do you want for dinner?" Erin asked looking to the cupboard for inspiration.

"Shay?" He asked, waiting to see if she had any ideas.

"Pizza!" Shay answered straight away. Erin couldn't help but smile, she certainly took after her father.

"Alright, but you have to brush your teeth properly" She decided after seeing the longing look on her husband's face, he wanted pizza just as badly. "And you have to help this time" She added looking at Kelly.

"I help by playing with Shay" He answered with a cheeky grin.

"Well Shay can play right here" Erin said, placing Shay on the floor before handing over her phone. The toddler deftly found her way to her favourite game and got to work sorting the coloured shapes into the right boxes. Kelly pulled open the cupboard and followed Erin's directions to the best of his ability. Apparently 'put the pineapple on that one' wasn't specific enough. "You realise you were supposed to cut those" She commented as he placed yet another pineapple ring on the pizza.

"Really? We don't normally have to cut it" He questioned, though it did look odd.

"We normally buy chunks of pineapple but somebody didn't read the label" She replied sprinkling cheese on the other pizza.

"It could have been you" He said, attempting to shift the blame.

"No, I took Shay to the bathroom" She reminded.

"Fine, I'll cut them up" He complained, reaching over for a knife.

"No, leave it, I like them. They look kind of like a flower" Erin said as she stopped his hand.

"If you say so. I like giving my wife flowers" He chuckled, putting the knife back before kissing her quickly on the cheek.

"I'm pretty sure I wanted to kill you last time you gave me flowers" She remembered.

"True. Oven?" Kelly asked as he picked up the tray.

"Yep" She nodded opening the oven door so he could slide the tray in. "Record time" She added when she looked up at the clock.

"What now?" He questioned as he set the timer.

"Now we check to see if Shay's set a new high score" She laughed turning to see the spot on the floor empty, phone discarded.

"Shay" He called. Erin joined in and they searched methodically through the kitchen and dining room. No matter how quiet they were they couldn't hear her giggling.

"Where else could she be?" She asked when they'd looked everywhere and still hadn't found her.

"Laundry?" He suggested, it was the only room they hadn't searched.

"But I always leave the door closed" She answered, moving towards it anyway.

"I might have left it open when I got my shirt this afternoon" He cringed, it was the one room they hadn't bothered to baby proof. The door was ajar, both panicked they were going to find her eating washing powder and rushed in.

"Shay" Erin half scolded as she saw her toddler sitting in the laundry basket, a fluffy black cat on her lap.

"Mama tat" Shay replied, patting the cat roughly.

"Yeah, cat" She said as she pushed the animal away and picked Shay up. "Daddy said he was going to stop it getting inside."

"Daddy tried" Kelly replied, baffled as to how the creature continued to get into their house. It would mysteriously appear at least once a week, never asking for anything, just walking around as if it owned the place.

"Well just get it out and wash your hands, dinner will be ready by now" Erin instructed, dusting cat hair off Shay before taking her to the bathroom to wash her hands thoroughly. They ate dinner in relative silence. Erin had thoughts of her own to contend with and Kelly was still trying to figure out their fury invader. "Can you run her bath so I can have a shower?" Erin requested as she packed the leftover pizza into a container. Kelly was still trying to get Shay to eat her crust instead of just sucking on it.

"Sure" He nodded. Shay refused to bathe without her crust sucking away on it right up until she dropped it and it got soggy. The she threw it across the room and demanded another. Kelly was able to substitute a teething toy of a similar shape and settled Shay to bed with it.

Erin knew something was wrong the moment she stepped out of the bathroom. He never usually sat waiting on the end of the bed looking concerned.

"What is it?" She questioned. All she wanted was to crawl in to bed and sleep but whatever he was going to say was already more important.

"Your phone rang" He answered looking up at her.

"And?" She asked.

"It was the doctors with your test results" Kelly informed. She couldn't tell if he was angry or not, he just looked hurt.

"And?" Erin repeated nervously.

"They wouldn't tell me" He concluded.

"Kelly…" She started but was cut off.

"What test?" He demanded standing up to move towards her.

"I don't want to talk about this right now" She said carefully, looking up into his stormy blue eyes. Before he could say anymore she pushed past him and got in to bed.

"Erin, please, I thought the doctor's thing was over"

"I'm sorry" She apologised, laying back and pulling the blankets up to her chin.

"I looked through your phone" He admitted softly.

"Why would you do that?" She asked, slightly offended by the way it indicated the lack of trust he felt.

"Because I'm worried about my wife, the mother of my child, who keeps going to see doctors but won't tell me why. Six calls to the doctor this week" He justified, facing her from where he sat on the edge of his side of the bed. Clearly distressed.

"I was just trying to get an appointment at late notice" She explained wondering how she could convince him without telling him the truth.

"What for?" He needed to know, punching the bed to emphasise how serious he was.

"I will tell you as soon as I know the test results" She answered.

"I wanted a marriage based on honesty" Kelly said harshly.

"Whatever happened to trust?" She questioned before rolling over. He continued to seethe, both internally and aloud, but she pretended to be sleeping. It was incredibly hard not to just tell him. She didn't want to face how crushed he would be if the test was negative. The conflict was better than getting his hopes up. Potentially for nothing.

"Katie is coming to live with us" He added right before she fell asleep.

**I only got out half of what I had planned for this chapter, and it's not my best writing – too much dialogue or something, lacking flow. But you have to read tomorrow because Erin will be finding out if she's pregnant!**


	54. Chapter 54

Erin knew it was going to be a big day the moment she opened her eyes. Sleep had been a temporary escape but now she had to face reality. Though her alarm had barely started to buzz Kelly was already gone, reality wasn't kind. It was painful to know he was annoyed, she could tell from the clattering downstairs that he was nowhere near forgiveness. A lot now hinged on a phone call. The moment she allowed herself to think about it her phone started ringing. She let out a deep sigh when she saw it was just Halstead.

"Morning" She answered, climbing out of bed.

"Good morning" He greeted cheerfully, his tone made it obvious he wanted something.

"What do you want?" She questioned, even less patient than usual. She selected an outfit and lay it on the bed.

"I'm sorry to ask but can you please give me a lift to work?" Halstead asked nicely.

"Sure" She answered before hanging up. After getting dressed she joined Kelly and Shay downstairs, his clattering had been productive and an inviting stack of pancakes sat on the table. Erin tried to start a conversation but he didn't care for small talk, he wanted answers she didn't yet have.

"Have a nice day" He muttered out of obligation as he grabbed his jacket and left. It wasn't much but it was more than she got from Shay, instantly distracted by the glitter paint Cindy had waiting. Erin couldn't help but smile, for the first fortnight after their return Shay had cried every morning. Over time she realised they weren't going to abandon her until it got to the point she didn't even fuss without a goodbye. Her adaptability was a good sign and left Erin certain they would manage if a new baby did change their family dynamic.

Completely oblivious to Erin's lack of interest, Halstead provided an embellished recount of his role in breaking up a bar fight as they made their way to work. Increasingly nervous every second she was glad for the distraction when Voight, Olinsky and Antonio led a thorough presentation of the information they had and the information they needed for their new big case. She tried to ignore the questioning looks Voight continued to throw her way. Combined with the way Burgess was sitting on the front corner of Halstead's desk the way she usually did, she couldn't help but feel she was already being replaced. Telling Voight and refusing the undercover work was in her best interests but that didn't mean she didn't already regret it. "You good for this?" Voight asked as she walked past on her way downstairs. He had assigned her and Halstead to watching Powell's back as he installed their own security cameras around the pawn shop.

"Absolutely" Lindsay assured though she couldn't lie to herself as easily. She needed to put everything out of her mind and focus. In order to do that she left her phone in her locker, that way it couldn't possibly distract her.

"Can you carry that one for me?" Powell asked gesturing to the smallest of the three crates of equipment he needed.

"Sure" She answered, watching as Halstead stacked the other two and carried them to the back of the car. At least she was still the best driver, not that she got to prove this as they made their way inconspicuously to the back of the building across the road from the pawn shop they were targeting. Powell didn't waste any time getting to work. Erin guarded the door onto the roof while Halstead lay at the edge performing preliminary surveillance and making sure the people on the street didn't notice them.

"That place is so dodgy" Halstead commented as they took the stairs down to the car and moved to the next building over. Since the operation was likely to last a while they were only saving themselves trouble by being thorough to start with. By ten o'clock they had placed a dozen security cameras and were making their way back to the district. While she tried not to make it obvious the first thing she wanted to do when they arrived was check her phone. She dawdled at her desk momentarily then decided to get it over with, if she had missed a second call she would have to call them. She picked up the phone and pressed the on button, the screen lit up to show a picture of her family. Then as she went to put it down it started ringing. Feeling like having perfect timing twice in one day was too coincidental she answered the phone.

"Hello" She answered calmly, she knew the number but didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"Erin, birthdate for results" The doctor instructed, considerably less formal the second time around.

"Eighth of July, Eighty-two" She provided without having to think.

"Your test is positive, congratulations" The doctor informed.

"Thank you" She smiled, letting all her fears evaporate for just a second as she thought about the new life they had created.

"How keen are you to see your baby?" The doctor asked.

"Um…I don't know. Why?" Erin questioned, of course she wanted to see the baby, not that there would be much to see so early.

"I can get you an ultrasound over your lunch break if your boss doesn't mind two long lunches in a row" The doctor offered. Erin had to stop and think for a moment, she'd already left Kelly out of everything, did she really want him to miss the first ultrasound as well?

"That would be great" She decided. Kelly could come to the first ultrasound when it started to actually look human, the picture might help announce it.

"It's quite early, you might get a heartbeat if you're lucky" The doctor explained making sure Erin didn't get too excited.

"Alright, I'll chat with my boss. You go ahead and organise it" She agreed trying not to let the negative thoughts back in.

"Too easy" The doctor finished. Erin put her phone in her pocket, her other hand had subconsciously come to rest over the baby. She let it drop quickly as footsteps approached.

"Lindsay, I've been meaning to talk to you" Burgess started as she got out the clothes she was wearing to the first undercover meeting, the job interview.

"Really, about what?" Erin questioned.

"Two things, firstly thank you for this opportunity and secondly I'm trying to organise baby stuff for a friend, she's a flight attendant working as much as she can early on but her boyfriends a jerk and won't do baby stuff. So basically I was wondering if you had stuff you don't need anymore" Burgess explained in her usual half nervous, half enthusiastic manner. Erin couldn't help but smile at the timing.

"I had nothing to do with you getting the job. And um…" She panicked realising she couldn't say anything about needing the baby things without giving her pregnancy away. Burgess was waiting expectantly. "I…can't help with baby things. Sorry" She finished weakly.

"Oh. I thought you have plenty of stuff from Shay" Burgess said disappointedly.

"I do…but I might need it again" She said sounding as if she was trying to convince herself as well.

"Are you pregnant?!" Burgess practically yelled, much to Erin's frustration.

"I might need it" She clarified.

"But it makes sense, with the undercover work" Burgess pressured enquiringly.

"You can't tell anybody" Erin gave in, it was as good as an admission anyway.

"Oh!…oh I won't" Burgess said, shaking her head furiously. "So nobody else knows?"

"I only just got the phone call. I've got to go talk to Voight" She explained, shutting her locker.

"This is so exciting" Burgess grinned.

"Yeah" Erin nodded less than enthusiastically as she left the room. She wanted to blame her nausea on morning sickness but it was more likely dread and guilt. She had essentially told Burgess and was about to tell Voight before her own husband had any idea. Nothing had turned out the way she had planned.

"One of the cameras has disconnected, we've got to go figure out why" Powell informed as she passed him on her way to Voight's office.

"Just give me one minute" Lindsay requested as she rapped her knuckles against the doorframe.

"Come in" Voight answered not looking up until the door clicked closed. Shutting the door always indicated as serious conversation so he put down his phone and gave her his full attention.

"I just got the results, I'm pregnant" She stated unemotively. "And I need my full lunch hour again"

"Congratulations" He said, unable to stop himself smiling at the thought of another little Shay causing trouble. "Take as long as you need" He added, assuming she was going to use the time to inform Kelly.

"Thank you" She nodded, any other boss would likely complain.

"Be careful" Voight reminded as she opened the door, Halstead and Powell waiting impatiently at the top of the stairs. She didn't feel the need to acknowledge him. Approaching the building, even with Halstead and Powell close by, she was hyper vigilant. The camera might not have been connected properly to start with or someone might have intentionally disconnected it.

"It's the one on the corner over there" Powell whispered as they stopped at the door to scan the rooftop. The massive ventilation system made it impossible to clear. Lindsay didn't trust Powell with a gun, his hands shaking just holding the weapon gave away his reluctance and inexperience. It would be safer to make him go first but it would also make him the easy target so she stepped out, looking carefully around with each movement. Powell followed closely behind with Halstead guarding his back. They reached the corner of the building, confidence that they were alone growing. Powell got to work replacing the camera, the internal wires had been purposely cut, someone didn't want them watching the alley alongside the pawn shop.

"Did you hear that?" Halstead mouthed to his partner. Lindsay shook her head, she hadn't heard a think. A second later the first gunshot sounded. Halstead reacted instantly pushing his partner behind an air conditioner unit and crouching down alongside. They didn't have time to communicate but they didn't need to. Lindsay had provided cover fire, trying to locate the person shooting at them, while Halstead stepped into the open and returned dragging Powell by the collar behind him.

"Is he alright?" Lindsay hissed.

"He's fine" Halstead nodded joining her in searching for their opponent, the needed to get off the roof. It was an extremely indefensible position.

"Sorry, I've never been shot at before" Powell explained loudly, his voice filling the silence. The familiar click of a magazine being slid into place alerted them to the position of the shooter, circling around to trap them in the corner. While it had been advantageous they both made sure Powell knew to keep his mouth shut from now on. Formulating a plan was important but with every passing second the shooter could be getting closer.

"Stay here with him" Halstead ordered finally, their hushed argument wasn't making any progress so he made an executive decision. Before Lindsay could argue he was moving away from them, towards the where the noise had come from. Keeping her gun up she followed Halstead's every move until he disappeared out of sight. A moment later there were three gunshots followed by silence. If Halstead had succeeded he would be shouting all clear by now. Pregnant or not she couldn't justify not going to her partners aid so she got Powell on his feet and led the way. She almost shot Halstead when he stepped out in front of her suddenly. Comforted to know they were together again they tried to formulate another plan. Their discussion was interrupted by the door slamming closed. Powell took it to mean they were safe while Lindsay and Halstead knew better. With increased confidence they worked methodically to clear the rows of vents. Only then did they move towards the door, confident that they were alone.

"It's locked" Powell said dejectedly when he tried the door.

"We have guns" Halstead reminded, Lindsay knew to step back while he made light work of the handle and hinges. They both knew they should call for backup, anything could be waiting in the stairwell, but neither seemed to care. Keeping close to each other they made their way down the stairs, Powell made responsible for watching the doors on the landings. Eventually they reached the exit. Other than some muddy footprints they had nothing to go on. Powell had an idea and they spent and extra twenty minutes placing a security camera where they had full view of the first one. This way they could see who was disconnecting it. Arriving back at the district Lindsay gave Voight a wave and left for her appointment. No doubt by the time she got back Halstead and Powell would have somehow incorporated a dozen gunmen and a helicopter into the story. Erin was called in straight away, feeling completely unprepared. She had planned on using the time in the waiting room to transition from Detective Lindsay, who had not long been in a rooftop shootout, to Erin, wife and mother.

"Miss Lindsay, it's nice to meet you. Can you fill me in on your pregnancy so far?" The sonographer asked.

"Well there hasn't really been a so far, I only found out for sure three hours ago. Dr Grafton worked her magic to get me in so quickly" Erin explained.

"Alright, congratulations, and how far along are you? Approximately" She questioned making notes as she spoke.

"Five or six weeks" Erin answered.

"Let's have a look then" The sonographer enthused. There really wasn't much to be seen and in the end the picture was barely worth it. A round black blob in a sea of fuzzy grey. Erin thanked the sonographer and shoved the picture in her pocket. Ready for the day to be over already she bought a sandwich to eat in the car on her way back to work. The last thing she expected to see when she arrived was her husband in Voight's office. The blinds were open but the door was closed. Fighting the urge to burst in she took a moment to calm down sitting at her desk to watch and wait. She childishly pretended to be working when Kelly emerged a few minutes later. He didn't stop to say anything so she followed him outside.

"What were you doing?" She questioned as she fell into step beside him.

"I just had to ask Voight something" Kelly explained continuing to walk, it was at this point she realised he must have walked from the firehouse.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing to do with you" He answered.

"Kelly, please?"

"No" He refused, still walking.

"We need to talk" She said. Specifically she needed to do the talking while he listened.

"We can talk at home" He said as he stopped and turned to face her.

"I was going to drop by the firehouse after work" She suggested hopefully.

"Well don't" He instructed firmly.

"Fine" She called after him before turning on her heels and making her way back to the district. If Kelly wasn't going to fill her in she would ask Voight. Angry and tired when Voight refused to talk, instead suggesting she ask her husband, she turned to paperwork then took an early afternoon. Watching two sisters bludgeon each other at the park was the last thing Erin wanted to see but Shay was having a great time on the slide. She knew another baby would change everything but they had plenty of time to prepare. Shay would be so much older by the time it was born and would hopefully have learned to share.

* * *

><p>Erin woke up when Kelly climbed into bed early the next morning. He usually tried to get some sleep after work, especially on weekends when they liked to do things as a family. She sat up, deciding that now was as good a time as any to talk.<p>

"I know it's a bit late…but I have a wedding present for you" She started hoping that he would see she was making an effort.

"Really? Is it honesty" Kelly asked almost intentionally hurtfully.

"I'm trying" She pleaded.

"Okay what's the present?" He questioned.

"Maybe I shouldn't have called it a present. It's a big deal. I realise we're married and that I should have talked to you about it but I wanted it to be a surprise. Please forgive me?" She requested, laying the groundwork for the massive apology she felt the need to make.

"I can't forgive you if I don't know what you've done" He replied impatiently. At a loss for words she rolled over and took the ultrasound picture from the drawer of the bedside table and handed it to him. "What am I looking at?" He asked, taking the picture for closer inspection.

"Our baby" Erin answered calmly.

"Shay?" He questioned.

"No" She answered loving the flicker of a smile that crossed his face.

"Erin, don't mess with me" He said seriously.

"I'm not messing with you. I'm pregnant" She laughed, quickly stopping herself when she noticed the look of disbelief. "That's why I've been seeing doctors over the last few months. I wanted to do something special for you so I made some appointments to make sure I was healthy and discuss dates. Turns out our honeymoon was perfectly timed but the doctors were doubtful anything would happen first try. But it did" She explained deciding that the more information he had the more likely he was to believe it.

"You're pregnant?" He asked, feeling the need to double check.

"Yes" Erin nodded, reaching out to hold his hand.

"You've surprised me alright" He said after taking a moment to process the news.

"I'm really sorry I did it without talking to you, it is what you wanted though, isn't it?" She questioned needing him to forgive her for failing in her duties as a wife so quickly.

"Absolutely, I'm so sorry for doubting you" He replied still unable to shift the grin. "I feel like an idiot, you only found out yesterday" Kelly groaned, connecting the phone call to the test.

"This is going to change everything" She said softly.

"It is, but we're going to do it together" He nodded.

"So you forgive me?" She questioned.

"There is nothing to forgive" He assured leaning across to kiss her. One kiss turned into many as he tried to convey just how pleased he was. After pulling up her shirt and kissing her belly he returned his focus to her lips.

"So the fact that I'm pregnant turns you on?" She questioned, feeling him harden against her leg.

"Yeah" He answered enjoying every kiss. She granted him complete control, relieved he had forgiven her so easily. "Is this okay?" He questioned setting a painfully slow rhythm when he eventually decided to progress past kissing.

"No, this sucks. We've done this before and Shay turned out fine. Just be normal" Erin instructed.

"Mama?" Shay questioned, heads snapped up to see the toddler standing in the doorway looking confused.

"Shay?" How did you get out?" Erin asked, trying to push Kelly off, he didn't budge.

"Mama snuggle?" Shay asked walking towards them.

"Shay, can you go get your ball for me?" Kelly requested.

"Okay" She answered sweetly disappearing into the hallway as quickly as she had arrived.

"What the hell?" Erin questioned.

"I don't know" Kelly laughed before turning his attention back to worshipping his wife's body.

"She'll be back any second" Erin warned, conflicted between finishing what they had started and mentally scarring their daughter.

"No she won't, her ball's downstairs" He laughed speeding up his movements anyway. The prospect of Shay returning any second was disturbingly thrilling and neither of them lasted much longer.

***blushes* Had to happen eventually... **


	55. Chapter 55

Erin let herself relax in Kelly's arms, happy just to enjoy the moment while it lasted. She had brought too much stress upon herself over the last few weeks, completely unnecessarily. The calm couldn't last forever, not with Shay roaming the house unsupervised. Neither of them expected to hear a sickening thud from the stairs but it was certainly effective in getting them out of bed. Rushing out of the bedroom, tripping on the sheet they shared for modesty, they found the baby gate at the top of the stairs hanging open. Erin rushed forward so she could see down the stairs while Kelly hesitated a moment, not sure he wanted to see.

"It's okay, it's just a book" Erin announced quickly looking back at Kelly, considerably paler than usual.

"Where's Shay then?" He asked. Erin clicked the gate closed then let him guide her back towards Shay's bedroom. They found their cheeky toddler halfway up her bookshelf, talking to herself as she selected a book. Curious, they stood back and watched as she climbed down.

"Look" Shay instructed them as she carried the book to the top of the stairs and placed it on the floor. It wasn't very thick but gave her just enough height to be able to reach and use the gate latch. With the gate open Shay picked up the book and sent it flying.

"Why are you throwing books Shay?" Erin asked hoping there was some sort of explanation.

"Gravity" Shay claimed looking up at her father for approval.

"What have you been teaching her?" Erin questioned, either their child was a genius or he had reverted to answering her constant questions with ridiculous answers.

"We watched a documentary the other day, they were dropping books as an experiment" He said starting to realise that Shay was increasingly aware of the things they watched on television.

"Right. And how long has she been opening the gate?" She asked, now nowhere was safe if Shay could simply find something to stand on.

"That's new and not my fault" He defended instantly, willing to take responsibility for the books but nothing more.

"Sure" She said sceptically as she took Shay's hand. "Shay, we don't throw books. Books are for reading" She explained as she led them through to the bedroom, Kelly catching up quickly before he lost the sheet. He pulled on his discarded pyjama pants as soon as he had the chance. Erin pulled the sheet tighter around herself then stepped out of the room for a second. Returning with a picture book in hand she handed it to Kelly. "Daddy's going to read to you while I take a shower" Erin instructed.

"I shower" Shay complained.

"Not this time baby girl" Kelly consoled as he settled her on the bed and started to read the story. The princess saved the dragon in typical storybook fashion, Shay seemed more amused by turning the pages. Erin watched from the doorway, wondering where another baby would fit. "Breakfast?" He questioned hopefully when he noticed her.

"Yeah" She agreed leaving Kelly to put the book away while she took Shay downstairs. Marvelling at how Shay had suddenly become an escape artist, climbing out of bed and getting the gates open. Working out what to have for breakfast was the next dilemma. Toast with avocado was easy to prepare but not something they had every day. Shay decided she hated it before she even tried it, scraping the avocado off and squelching it between her fingers.

"Shay, eating not playing" Kelly coached as he joined them, showered and dressed.

"There are three major things we have to talk about…" Erin started.

"Sure, what's up?" He asked taking the toast from Shay before she could throw it.

"First thing is Katie. You mentioned something the other night but never explained yourself" She prompted.

"Yeah, sorry. I offered to let her stay here for a few weeks while she gets settled in Chicago. She's got a new job but doesn't want to move back in with her family" He explained.

"You are her family. When does she arrive?" Erin asked neutrally.

"Monday" He offered hesitantly.

"Okay" She nodded.

"I know I should've asked you but I figured it wouldn't be too big a deal, we have plenty of space" He half apologised, unable to judge her reaction.

"Its fine" Erin smiled, it would be interesting to spend more time with Katie and Shay would love having someone else to play with.

"What's next?" He asked, pleased to have already ticked one item off the agenda.

"Umm…What were you talking to Voight about yesterday?" She asked softly, not sure it was any of her business.

"We were talking about schools" He clarified quickly.

"Why?" She questioned.

"You know I've been fundraising for Naomi Newhouse, since it's my fault her dad can't work. Well she's a really bright kid and Voight mentioned at the wedding that he could get her into a good school" Kelly informed

"Yeah he's good at that" Erin smiled, remembering how easily he had talked his way into getting her a place at an incredibly good school.

"He definitely is. Oh, and we're going to a movie night at the firehouse tonight. Well you don't have to come but I'm taking Shay" He added before he forgot.

"More fundraising?" She hardly needed to ask.

"Textbooks and uniforms" He nodded "if we get decent numbers we'll send some money to the local youth group as well."

"Sounds good. Third thing is working out how we're going to keep our little monkey from getting hurt" Erin moved on.

"That is a problem. All the gates have essentially the same locking system so we can't just buy different ones. The stairs are really the only major hazard though" He said as he thought about the issue more seriously.

"True, but it's nice to contain her" She reminded.

"I know but maybe it's time we got rid of the gates, before she starts sneaking through them. We'd just need to keep a close eye on her for a few weeks and teach her not to use the stairs if we aren't there" He proposed.

"Maybe" She said, encouraging him to continue.

"We'll make it into a game somehow" He assured.

"Alright. Any ideas for keeping her in bed?" She asked smiling when Shay finally decided she was hungry and started munching on her toast.

"Shut her bedroom door?" He put forward.

"She could still fall and hurt herself climbing out" She said, gently telling him his solution wasn't viable.

"Maybe it's time for an upgrade. We can get her a new bed now so it isn't a drama when the baby arrives" He grinned.

"That works" Erin nodded.

"She can move into a different bedroom at the same time" He added.

"Why?" She questioned, a new bed was a good idea but a new bedroom was pushing it.

"New baby?" He reminded.

"Will be joining us in our bedroom for the first six months at least. Getting a new bed will be enough of a change, we have to do things gradually" She informed as she handed Shay more toast.

"Okay. We'll look into getting a new bed. Anything else?" He asked.

"No I think that's it" Erin concluded.

"My turn then. What are we doing today? I think we need to celebrate" Kelly smiled pointing to the ultrasound picture he had already stuck on the fridge.

"There's plenty of washing to do" She suggested with an excessively enthusiastic smile.

"Seriously though, we have to do something" He encouraged.

"We'll you figure it out. I'm going to get on with housework" She agreed, not wanting to waste any more time. If Katie was coming she needed to neaten the guest bedroom and clean the bathroom mirror properly.

"I can help if you tell me what to do" He said as he got up to stop her, already concerned she was going to overdo things.

"I'm fine, I promise" She assured giving him a quick kiss before lifting Shay from her highchair and carrying her to the kitchen. Once most of the avocado was washed away she undressed Shay, dropping her pyjamas in the washing basket on the way upstairs. Dressed and ready for the day Shay was handed to her father for entertainment while Erin got on with cleaning. Kelly wanted to be helpful so with Shay's help, or rather hindrance, he got on with vacuuming. By midday the only thing left to do was wait for the washing machine.

"I figured it out, we should go to the zoo" He suggested when they met in the kitchen for a drink. "See how they contain their little monkeys" He joked.

"Sounds like a good idea" She agreed tickling Shay who knew they were talking about her.

"Should we have lunch first?" He asked, checking the clock.

"We could take lunch" She offered.

"Picnic at the zoo. I think that's a fitting celebration" He agreed, already moving to get organised.

"Definitely" She nodded. Shay spread mayonnaise on the bread, and all over herself, while Erin prepared sandwich fillings and fruit salad. Half an hour later they were seated on their picnic blanket watching monkey's climbing around in their enclosure. Shay had decided she was a monkey and clung to Kelly, occasionally loosening her grip for more food.

"When can we tell people?" Kelly asked, if it was up to him they'd announce it at the movie in a few hours' time.

"After the next ultrasound, two months maybe?" She answered throwing Shay a grape.

"That's ages" He complained.

"We should wait until we know everything is alright" She justified.

"It will be though"

"You never know" She shrugged, trying to keep things in perspective.

"I know that everything would be fine if you stop working" He grumbled.

"Really? It's been less than a day and you're already trying to get me to stop working. I am fine, the baby is fine and I'll work for as long as I want to" She said, making sure he knew things were no different the second time around. Her judgement was most important.

"But you'll tell Voight, straight away this time?" He requested extending his arm so Shay could swing from it.

"He already knows" She admitted gently.

"What? When did you tell him?" Kelly asked, looking hurt and disappointed.

"Yesterday, I mentioned it was a possibility the day before then confirmed it as soon as I knew" She answered honestly.

"Why would you tell him first?" He questioned.

"I needed to give a reason not to go undercover. Proof that I'm taking being pregnant seriously, if you didn't trust me" She explained.

"You know I trust you, I just worry" He clarified.

"Well you don't need to worry" She said, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

"Okay then, tell me honestly. When was the last time you got shot at?" He asked.

"That's not fair" She protested knowing the answer wouldn't make her point by any means.

"When?" He demanded.

"Yesterday" She admitted. "When was the last time you ran into a burning building?"

"Yesterday, but I'm not pregnant" He defended, shocked to know his wife's job was so risky. He had assumed she would tell him when they had to use their weapons but he was clearly mistaken.

"Whatever. Voight knows and he won't let me do anything too dangerous" She said finally.

"I love you" He used as an apology.

"I love you too. Now tell me about the movie we're going to" Erin changed the subject.

"It's Blaze" He beamed.

"The kids movie with the dog? Your idea wasn't it?" She accused with a laugh, he had enjoyed the movie far too much the first time. Shay owned a stuffed Blaze, pyjamas and shirts with the fireman's fury friend and a replica firetruck from the movie. Erin knew that if the clothing line came in adult sizes her husband would wear them too. She continued to tease him about the movie selection all afternoon. He tried to distract her with facts about the exotic animals they saw but she wouldn't let it go.

The firehouse looked great, the trucks were parked outside, door open for tours, leaving the open space for chairs and the projector screen. Kelly took Shay down the front where the children had pillows, blankets and bean bags. Erin used the chance to socialise, checking on her family every now and then to remind herself just how right she had been. Kelly was so great with kids and she was confident that together they would definitely be able to manage another.

**I needed a chapter for them to talk things through but I mixed in some cute family time to keep you guys happy. I won't be able to update tomorrow :( Sorry, but I have to drive to my university for textbooks etc. and it's going to take all day. **


	56. Chapter 56

**Yesterday was massive, this isn't what I had planned for this chapter but I felt like writing something light and fun…Enjoy :D**

"Sing Mama!" Shay demanded from her car seat.

"What song baby?" Erin asked, making eye contact in the rear view mirror.

"Sing!" Shay repeated.

"Radio?" Erin questioned as she pressed the button and music filled the car.

"Next" Shay requested, Erin hit another button and the radio station changed. They went through half a dozen stations then Shay settled on one playing an upbeat song Erin had never heard before. Careful to pay attention to the lyrics she continued to drive, almost certain the GPS directions were wrong. Shay sang away, babbling tunelessly as she kicked her legs energetically. Feeling frazzled and completely disoriented Erin was massively relieved to see the massive yellow and blue IKEA sign. Finding a car space near the door was difficult but after a few laps she stalked a family to their car and took the space they vacated.

"Ready to go baby?" Erin questioned, knowing that turning the music off without Shay's permission was an easy way to start a tantrum.

"Waaaiiit…" Shay said slowly, as the last of the instrumental music faded out. Erin turned off the car before the next song could start and got out. Shay knew she wasn't allowed to walk in the car park so she didn't fuss about being carried. This didn't last long when she spotted the escalator inside, transfixed and desperate to touch it.

"It's not safe baby" Erin explained, keeping a firm hold on Shay. One of her most terrifying childhood memories involved an escalator. She wouldn't have been more than eight years old, spending afternoons at the local mall to avoid her mother's latest boyfriend. Distracted by the massive Christmas tree she hadn't noticed her loose shoelaces until they got caught, the escalator pulling at her shoe hungrily. Another shopper had pressed the emergency stop button and freed her trapped shoelaces, but not before a security guard had arrived. He meant well and refused to let her leave without an adult. She still remembered the terror she had felt when Derek, the boyfriend, had showed up to collect her. Realising she was standing in the middle of the walkway she put the memory out of her mind and stepped to the side, turning her attention to Shay. Letting the toddler loose amongst the crowd probably wasn't the wisest decision but Erin did it anyway. Following along as Shay navigated the displays, drawn to bright colours and handles.

"Mama please?" Shay asked, holding up a bright green cushion, textured to look like scales.

"We're just looking" Erin informed as she helped Shay put the cushion back, a week ago Shay would have been upset by this but today she didn't even pull a face.

"Can I have a dragon?" Shay questioned next.

"I don't think they sell dragons here, sorry baby" Erin apologised, taking Shay's hand to keep moving through the bedroom section. Taking the time to point out interesting shapes and colours.

"DRAGON" Shay yelled as she pointed at an elderly lady wearing a textured green jacket.

"Shh, no Shay. That's not a dragon" Erin quieted quickly, convinced everyone had heard and was judging her parenting ability.

"Mama!" Shay scolded in return, sounding as if she'd explained it a hundred times before.

"Shay, which sheets do you think Aunt Katie would like?" Erin redirected, releasing Shay so she could assess the options.

"Aunty Katie likes dragons" Shay informed as she climbed onto one of the beds to feel the sheets.

"No more dragons today baby" Erin said, wondering how many times Kelly had read the book with the dragon.

"Yes Mama" Shay agreed reluctantly.

"Which ones?" Erin asked holding up two sets of sheets, one a ghastly pink floral and the other a print of Paris at night.

"Yuck" Shay complained.

"You choose then" She laughed watching as Shay donned a serious expression and looked at the options.

"Aunty Katie likes eating" Shay said resolutely as she picked the sheets that looked like the top a pizza.

"Will you tell her you picked them?" Erin asked.

"No" Shay answered.

"Cheeky" She laughed, no doubt Shay would blame her for the sheet selection.

"Monkey?"

"Yes, you are a cheeky monkey!" Erin agreed lifting Shay onto the bed before tickling her.

"I pick them" Shay surrendered between giggles.

"Good girl" Erin praised, tucking a set of the pizza sheets under her arm.

"Next?" Shay asked, practically dragging her mother away from the beds.

"Well Katie's room only has a bed so far" Erin explained, leading the way to the bedside tables and chests of drawers.

"Red" Shay declared, picking a locker style bedside table, the bright colour and latch demanding her consideration.

"What about this one?" Erin asked, seriously considering a plain white bedside table.

"Yucky" Shay concluded.

"Why?" Erin questioned.

"Too square"

"Okay, round then?" She asked, pointing to the next one over.

"Yes" Shay nodded. Not quite believing she was following the advice of a one year old Erin wrote down the details and checked the price, definitely affordable. As they moved away Erin froze for a moment then turned back to the table, after closer inspection she decided it would be fairly easy to assemble. Satisfied, they moved on to drawers, Erin looking with both Katie and the new baby in mind. Tossing up between two very similar sets she momentarily lost track of Shay.

"Shay?" Erin called when she noticed her mistake, scanning the immediate area for the purple shirt Shay wore.

"MAMA!" Shay answered, popping up out of a drawer suddenly.

"How did you get in there?" Erin asked as she lifted Shay out.

"Monkey" Shay reminded.

"Which drawers does the monkey like?" Erin asked pointing to the two options. Shay considered it for a moment then decided on the ones on the left, slightly taller with deeper drawers but also cheaper. "I think you're right" She nodded, noting down the information carefully. Having found the three things they had been looking for in that section they moved quickly through the lounge room, kitchen and office sections. Watching Shay carefully Erin rounded the next corner, revealing the entrance to the children's section. Erin put her down and let her approach at her own speed, eyes wide as she tried to take in all the coloured toys.

"Mama look" Shay squealed as she stopped and pointed.

"What is it?" Erin asked, following Shay's gaze to a pile of stuffed dragons. Shay shook her head, knowing she wasn't supposed to talk about dragons any more. "You can say it."

"DRAGONS!" She yelled, running straight at the toys. She grabbed one and cuddled it to her chest before discarding it for another, identical, one. After cuddling a few she realised there were too many, collapsing amongst them with a satisfied sigh.

"You can have one" Erin smiled when she crouched down in front of Shay.

"Please" Shay nodded, struggling to pick only one. Then she spotted something hanging on the far wall that she wanted even more. Leaving her mother behind she raced over to the plush dragon costumes, patting the strange fabric lovingly.

"Does it fit?" Erin asked, selecting one of the costumes then helping Shay into it. They only came in one size and it was big on Shay but seeing her in with wings and a tail was too cute to resist. Erin decided Shay had to have one.

"Fits" Shay insisted, pulling it tight around the middle.

"You can have one if you promise to be a good dragon, no setting anything on fire" Erin said as she reached across to undo the zipper, Shay pulled away quickly. It wouldn't hurt to let her wear it for the rest of the shopping trip.

"Promise" Shay agreed.

"You still need a friend, dragons always have friends" Erin explained as they moved back towards the stiffed dragons. Dressed as a dragon, pointed ears on the hood, with a dragon tucked under her arm Shay couldn't help but grin. She didn't even mind as her mother wandered through the baby section, choosing a packet of embroidered bibs that was on special. Next they reached the section Erin was most interested in, children's beds. "Shay, do you want a big girl bed?"

"That one" Shay decided immediately, pointing to bunk beds.

"No, one of these" Erin instructed moving to the more age appropriate section, small brightly coloured beds with guardrails. Shay looked conflicted for a moment then climbed into the nearest bed.

"No" She shook her head before moving to the next one. Erin wasn't sure why she smiled every time Shay decided a bed was no good. There weren't that many options and soon Shay had ruled all of them out.

"We don't have to pick one today" Erin concluded, for herself as much as for Shay.

"Mama, hungry" Shay said, pointing across to the food court. Checking her watch Erin noticed they had missed morning tea and were now on time for lunch.

"Let's get some lunch" Erin nodded, taking Shay's hand. It was difficult to walk past all the toys and fun furniture but Erin assured Shay they would come back after food. At the top of the stairs Erin grabbed a bag, stowing the items they had found so far. Trailing her little dragon they joined the queue to get lunch. Erin had already decided to give up being a serious parent and didn't bother to negotiate when Shay asked for green Jelly, using her manners. Selecting a chocolate pudding for herself and a fruit salad for the baby she laughed, eating for two definitely had benefits. Fish, chips and salad was the daily special so Erin ordered one, the portion big enough to share with Shay. Adding juice to their tray they bought their food and went to find a table. Loving how family friendly everything was Erin made sure to write down the name of the chair Shay sat on, not a high chair but a normal looking chair with extended legs so she was at the right height for the table. "You are a genius" Erin commented when she followed Shay's lead and dipped a chip in her dessert. Unlike Shay who was simply testing the surface strength of her Jelly the chocolate pudding, potato and salt combination was actually good.

"Genius monkey dragon" Shay smiled.

"Is that your new name?" Erin asked, glad she grabbed extra napkins.

"Yes"

"I don't think he's hungry" Erin said quickly as Shay aimed a wobbling spoonful of Jelly at her stuffed dragon's mouth.

"SHE" Shay corrected.

"Sorry, she's not hungry" Erin rephrased.

"More for me" Shay said as she lifted the spoon to her own mouth in a rush, tipping the Jelly into her lap. 

"That's what Daddy says" Erin nodded, Kelly often used the phrase when Shay wouldn't eat her food.

"Daddy's a dragon" Shay informed.

"He can be" Erin agreed, handing Shay another chip.

"You too" Shay guaranteed.

"Really?" Erin questioned.

"Yes" Shay said with great certainty.

"How?" She asked, wishing she paid more attention to the dragon in the storybook Shay was presently obsessed with.

"You are" Shay answered, as if it didn't need explaining.

"Okay, keep eating" Erin replied, handing over the last piece of fish.

"Not hungry" Shay decided, pushing the fish away.

"But you haven't even finished your jelly" Erin reminded.

"You eat Mama" Shay said, handing the cup to her mother with a smile. Having already eaten most of the fish, chips and salad, along with the chocolate pudding and fruit salad she really didn't need anything else. The jelly did look quite appealing though and she convinced herself that it wouldn't hurt. Half an hour later she was regretting eating anything at all. Trying to play with Shay made difficult by the persistent low level nausea that was morning sickness. The children's section had so many great toys and ideas that it was hard not to want to buy one of everything. Erin and Shay played with felt finger puppets, cardboard dolls houses, and massive rolls of paper, then settled in a miniature circus tent for a few minutes. Shay ran off to play on a spinning chair while Erin found a bed to sit on. Just watching Shay whirling on the chair made Erin consider her escape plan, the bathrooms were just around the corner so she wouldn't have far to go. Taking Shay would be inconvenient though.

"What's wrong?" Erin asked when Shay approached, frowning slightly.

"Mama play" Shay complained.

"Mama doesn't feel good" Erin explained, hoping Shay would be understanding.

"Better when you sleep" Shay encouraged, Erin always told her she would feel better after a sleep if she wasn't feeling well.

"Not yet. More shopping and then we'll go home for a sleep" Erin said, taking a deep breath as she stood up. Shay nodded and didn't fuss over leaving the toys behind. Downstairs they got a trolley, making their way quickly through the remaining displays, stopping briefly to choose more bathmats and a toothbrush holder. Erin added a lamp, photo frame and potted bamboo for Katie's room then moved through to the warehouse section. Using the information she had written down she found the flat pack bedside table and chest of drawers. Rushing through the checkout she was thrilled to almost be done.

"Need some help?" A man asked, watching as Erin took Shay from the trolley and moved to put her in her car seat.

"Uh…No I'm fine" Erin replied, looking at the trolley. The flat pack furniture was right on the edge of what she considered a reasonable weight to lift alone.

"It's no problem" He insisted.

"Okay" She agreed after a moment, opening the back of the car so he could load the heavier items.

"And that's my random act of kindness for the day" He nodded when he was finished.

"Thank you" Erin smiled, always cautious of strangers who were unnecessarily kind.

"I'll take this back too, only because it's on the way to my car though" He added, taking the trolley.

"Thanks" She repeated before getting in the car. Shay was very fussy about music on the way home, indication that she was due for a sleep. Erin left everything in the car when they arrived home, feeling dreadful and preoccupied by getting Shay down for her nap on time. Feeling lazy she simply settled in bed, turning Kelly's pillow sideways to form a barrier so Shay couldn't roll off. They napped together, waking feeling refreshed and energised. With Shay's help she unpacked their purchases, leaving the furniture for Kelly, and got Katie's sheets on to wash. The finger puppets she had snuck into the bag provided effortless entertainment for Shay as they lounged around on the couch all afternoon. After dinner they fought over removing the dragon costume for bath time. Erin agreed that Shay could sleep in it afterwards, Shay acted out the dragons roll in her bedtime story then settled herself to sleep. Erin hung out the sheets then took a shower and crawled into bed. Just thinking about the next day made her yawn, a full day at work followed by Katie moving in.

**Nothing purposeful, just cute Mummy/Shay time. If it wasn't already obvious I ****love**** IKEA… And I'm pretty sure IKEA stores all have the same basic layout (at least they do in Australia). Jelly = Jello.**

**HELP: I need to come up with a gender and name for the Dawsey baby in this fic…suggestions? They aren't a major part of the story but I'll still need to refer to it by name and I'm feeling really lazy so if I don't get suggestions I'll probably just pick a top 10 name. **


	57. Chapter 57

"Does my little dragon want anything else?" Erin asked, packing Shay's lunch into her lunchbox.

"No" Shay said, after assessing the food options carefully.

"Time to go then" Erin said, reaching across to smooth Shay's hair under the hood. She put the remaining tubs of yoghurt back into the fridge, stopping to remove the ultrasound picture as she did so. After tucking it into her back pocket she lifted Shay down from the bench and followed her to the front door. The drive to the Herrmann's was unusually quiet, Shay too busy playing with her tail to request music.

"What do we have here?" Cindy asked when she opened the door to see a scaly green shape on Erin's hip.

"Dragon" Shay informed.

"Be good" Erin instructed before setting Shay down. "Kelly's going to pick her up after lunch" She added to Cindy, handing over the lunchbox.

"Alright, have a nice day" Cindy said with a quick wave as she turned to see what the children were up to.

"You too" Erin smiled as she headed for her car. Next stop was the firehouse where she found her husband struggling to stay awake at his desk. "Good morning" She said as she stepped into the office and closed the door.

"Morning" He replied, looking incredibly pleased to see her.

"I thought you might want this, it'd be the first thing Katie noticed if it stayed on the fridge" She explained as she handed over the ultrasound photo.

"Thank you" He grinned as he grabbed her wrist and pulled until she was sitting on his lap. After a quick kiss he sat back, looking at her carefully.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, she hadn't seen him so thoughtful in weeks.

"That I married the woman who can make all my dreams come true" He answered with another kiss.

"That's a bit mushy" She complained, punching his arm playfully.

"I'm just excited" He grinned, sliding his hand up the front of her shirt to rest on over her very flat stomach.

"Me too" Erin nodded, removing his hand, she placed a soft kiss on it before dropping it as she moved to stand up.

"You've been feeling alright?" He questioned.

"Yes, I'm fine. I have to get to work though" She replied, leaning down for one last kiss before leaving his office. With a groan he got back to work.

* * *

><p>"You're late" Voight complained the moment Erin sat down at her desk.<p>

"No I'm not" She argued.

"We'll not technically, but you're later than usual" He clarified.

"Sorry" She responded though she definitely wasn't, stopping by the firehouse on the way to work wasn't something she did regularly. It certainly guaranteed a good start to the day if nothing else.

"Today is Burgess' first day undercover, Antonio and Powell are keeping an eye on things from the van just around the corner. Those cameras we've been having trouble with are down again. Halstead and Lindsay, find better places to put them. Everyone else is working on finding the man in the footage we got before the feed died. And figuring out why he's so determined not to let us see what's happening in the alley" Voight briefed.

"Let's go" Lindsay nodded grabbing her jacket and keys. Not long later she was standing at the door to the stairwell of the building where only a few days earlier they'd been shot at. She knew the chances of the shooter being on the rooftop again were incredibly slim but she still wished she'd taken the time to pull on a vest. Halstead didn't seem at all concerned, pulling open the heavy, squeaky door without hesitation. He stomped on up the stairs, Lindsay following close behind. They returned to the corner and found that this time the cameras had been shot. After assessing the buildings in the immediate area they both came up with different solutions to the problem.

"We get a smaller, better camera, and put it further away, near those fire escape stairs would work. In the middle of the night" Halstead suggested.

"Or we could just ask the city to put in a POD on the power pole that's right there. They're bullet proof and he'd have a hard time climbing up to it" Lindsay provided as an alternative.

"We'll organise both, you up for a late night" He questioned. Installing a camera stealthily, under the cover of darkness seemed like a fun way to spend the night, but he didn't have a family.

"Not really" She answered honestly.

"You okay?" He questioned.

"Yeah, Kelly's little sister is moving in tonight" She justified, hoping he wouldn't think any more of it.

"That'll be weird" He commented, using his phone to take a zoomed in photo of where he wanted the camera placed.

"I hope not" She replied. "Are we done here?" She asked shifting the focus back to their work.

"Yep" He nodded as they took one final look down along the alley and made their way back to the stairs.

"Wait a sec, is that blood?" Lindsay asked as she spotted a few dark red droplets on a step about halfway down.

"Could be" He nodded, kneeling for a better look.

"I didn't notice it the other day, I just wanted to get out of there" She recalled.

"I'll get someone down from the lab, DNA will make identifying him easy" Halstead agreed, pulling out his phone to make the call. Lindsay knew she hadn't ever gotten a clear shot so either Halstead had or the blood belonged to somebody else. That was assuming it was blood at all, it could be paint for all they knew. She took a seat on the nearest landing and settled in to wait for the forensics guy to arrive.

"It's going to take a while to match, we'll call you" He said, giving a curt nod as he slipped the bag of evidence into the pocket of his crisp white lab coat.

"Thank you" Lindsay nodded, following him down the stairs and out to the car. They passed the van where Antonio and Powell were staked out on their way back to the district, glad not to be cooped up all day. They relayed their findings to Voight and the remainder of the unit then set about getting their camera plans in place. Nadia handled the phone conversation for Lindsay, such a good negotiator that the new POD was going to be installed straight away. With nothing left to do but wait she called home to check that Kelly had started to assemble the furniture for Katie's room. She listened sympathetically to his expletive filled rant on pictorial instructions then answered emails and checked in with CI's until mid-afternoon. The moment Burgess was clear they were allowed to leave for the day.

* * *

><p>Erin arrived about five minutes after Katie, taking Shay so Kelly could finish the tour he was giving. She followed them upstairs to check the bedroom one last time as Kelly apologised for the bucket of Shay's toys in the bathtub. Katie was quick to let her brother know that she didn't mind, in fact she was looking forward to getting to know her niece. They had never really spent more than a few hours together. Satisfied the bedroom was alright but still anxious for everything to be perfect Erin went back downstairs to check how dinner was going.<p>

"Katie's just settling in, you okay?" Kelly asked when he joined her a few minutes later.

"I'm fine, why?" She questioned in response.

"I still feel bad about inviting her to stay without talking to you first" He explained.

"I'm not worried. She's family and Shay likes her" She assured, squeezing his hand gently as she moved to check the oven yet again.

"She's already offered to watch Shay on Friday night, I'll book something and we'll go out" He informed, eager to spend some time alone with his wife.

"Sounds good" Erin nodded trying to hide a yawn by turning away.

"Big day?" He questioned, unwilling to let it go unnoticed.

"Not really" She shrugged.

"Well I'm sure other things are using up energy" He hinted, looking down in the least subtle way. His head snapped back up as Katie entered the kitchen, trailed by a little green dragon who refused to wear anything else. Dinner was comfortable, Erin kept Shay quiet to give Katie and Kelly a chance to catch up. Their conversation continued well into the night, Erin and Shay leaving them to talk in favour of bath time, story time and an early night.

**Katie has arrived! Next chapter is date night because I haven't done one of those in ages. I hope you guys don't mind that I've slowed things down again. I will skip chunks of time here and there but I don't want to rush through. **

**POD = Police Observation Device**


	58. Chapter 58

"Feels like ages since we've done this" Kelly commented after opening the car door for his wife.

"It hasn't been that long" Erin replied, accepting the arm he offered.

"Longer than I'd like" He defended pulling her close as they walked the block and half to the restaurant.

"You're the one who cancelled last week" She reminded gently.

"That's because I thought you were dying" He argued, his expression suddenly serious.

"You did not!" She complained, adding a playful shove for good measure.

"Yes I did, that's why I freaked out when the doctor called" Kelly explained, remembering the hurt and fear he had felt when the doctor had refused to tell him anything.

"I'm sorry, I wish I'd said something sooner. I just didn't want you to be disappointed" She apologised, stopping walking for a moment to give him a hug.

"We'll you're not dying and I'm not disappointed so let's have fun tonight" He declared taking the few remaining steps before pulling open the door grandly.

"Sounds good to me. But I'm a little hurt that you wouldn't take me out to dinner if I was dying" She complained as they were seated.

"Can we please not talk about you dying, it hurts" He said, pained expression indicating his seriousness.

"I'm not dying, I promise" She assured, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand firmly.

"Good" He nodded

"I did figure out all our insurance before the wedding though" She teased as she handed him the menu.

"Stop" He insisted.

"I'm sorry, what do you want to talk about" She said wondering if making fun of him for loving her so much was mean. It was nice to know he cared enough that just the thought hurt him.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" He questioned, taking her by surprise.

"I think it's a blob" She answered honestly, they wouldn't know the gender for months and she was fine with that.

"Seriously though, what are we going to name it?" He asked.

"I don't know. Ask me again when it resembles a human being or even better, when it's born" She replied, pleased to see his eyes sparkling as he grinned.

"I'm really excited" He said softly.

"I can tell, and I am too. I just know it's a long way off" She reasoned though his excitement was contagious and she couldn't help but smile back.

"And you're worried about Shay" He said softly.

"That obvious?" She questioned.

"You didn't even look at the beds properly and you've let her do whatever she wants all week. It's obvious" He laughed, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand comfortingly.

"I just don't want her to think we love her any less" Erin sighed, feeling conflicted.

"She's not going to think that" He assured firmly.

"She might when I'm up all night with a crying baby and don't have any energy left for her, or when I get too big to play with her" She explained.

"Like you said, those things are a long way off. Until then all we can do is show her we love her and explain it so she's prepared" He concluded, he knew everything would turn out alright in the end.

"I might do some research, find some books" She agreed, resisting the urge to pull out her phone and start researching straight away.

"Okay, but for now let's just order dinner" He suggested.

"Alright, what are you having?" Erin questioned as she tilted her head to better read the menu upside down.

"No idea, you?" He asked in response, rotating the menu so she could look first.

"Not a clue" She laughed. They eventually decided what they wanted and placed their order. Talking about work briefly before their meals arrived.

"Erin" He warned as she reached across to steal another chip.

"I'm growing you a baby" She reminded with a smug smile then took two chips just to prove she was serious.

"I don't stand a chance for the next seven months" He realised.

"Only seven months, are you kidding? You remember how I was after Shay was born right, it'll be a year if you're lucky" She informed deciding she liked the look of his salad as well.

"I hope you understand the sacrifices I make" He sighed as he pushed his plate across the table for her. She didn't even bother to hide her laughter.

"The sacrifices you make? You can't be serious. No coffee or alcohol, eating and sleeping well, not doing the job I love, expanding until my clothes don't fit then pushing a whole freaking baby out my…" She summarised, cut off before she said something that would guarantee all eyes in the restaurant found her.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry" He said quickly, almost leaving his chair in his urgency to stop her speaking.

"Now you've got the hang of it" She grinned, patting his hand gently before pushing his plate back towards him.

"Seriously?" He complained when he realised she'd only eaten one component of the salad.

"I love you" She reminded.

"But did you have to eat all the beetroot? You know it's my favourite" He questioned sadly.

"I love you, and our baby loves you" She reinforced giving her best apologetic look.

"You are impossible" He whinged, not wanting any of his salad now the best part was gone.

"Impossibly awesome" She beamed, he groaned loudly, tempted to give in and let his face meet the table. "Buy me dessert, then take me home so I can apologise" She whispered seductively.

"Okay" He squeaked, waving over the waiter for a dessert menu. They read through the options carefully. Kelly didn't complain when she ordered for him, nor when she ate half his chocolate cheesecake. By the time they got back to the car his patience was wearing thin, he'd been a gentleman and kept his mouth shut but received nothing in return.

"On second thoughts it's going to be too weird with Katie just down the hall" Erin explained as they pulled into the driveway.

"We have a door, she has a door and I'm perfectly capable of keeping quiet while you apologise" He said firmly, there was no way he was letting her back out of it that easily.

"I was joking" She laughed as she leaned across to kiss him, pulling away the second he kissed back.

"Nasty"

"Can you keep your cool for ten minutes while we thank Katie?" Erin questioned as they reached the front door.

"Five minutes" He corrected.

"Seven" She negotiated.

"Six?" He asked hopefully.

"Deal" She nodded, stepping inside. All bets were off the moment they saw Katie, curled into a ball on the couch, crying. "Katie?" Erin asked cautiously.

"I'm so sorry" Katie replied, sniffling. Erin no longer cared about anything but Shay and raced upstairs to check she was alright. Shay was sleeping peacefully in her crib, Roary's paw in her mouth for comfort. She only sucked his paw when she got upset so something had definitely happened, there was no sign of any injury though so Erin was forced to go back downstairs for answers. Kelly had taken on the role of comforting older sibling, handing Katie tissues and hugging her.

"What happened?" Erin asked gently, taking a seat on the other side of her distraught sister-in-law.

"I thought I was helping" Katie started.

"Okay…" Erin nodded, desperate for more information.

"You've been complaining about how dirty her costume was, so when I took it off to give her a bath I put it in the washing machine. Shay got upset so I ended the wash early, rinsed it by hand and put it in the dryer…that's when…that's when…I ruined it" Katie sobbed.

"The synthetic fabric wouldn't handle the heat" Erin nodded, finally understanding the problem. For the first time she noticed the remnants of the costume on the coffee table, still mostly green with an occasional brown patch. The paint of the scales had melted together to form a tangled ball of fabric.

"I'm so sorry" Katie added softly.

"It's fine, it's nothing. I thought you'd dropped her" Erin said, letting herself laugh as relief hit her full force.

"No, I just ruined her favourite thing in the whole world. Getting her to sleep took forever. She's never going to forgive me" Katie replied gloomily.

"She's already forgiven you or she wouldn't be asleep. We can get her a replacement" Erin assured.

"I'm really sorry" Katie added.

"It's fine" Erin repeated, making eye contact with Kelly. Then she left him to console his sister, making a quick stop in the kitchen before heading upstairs. She got ready for bed then climbed in to wait for him. Increasingly impatient she was seriously considering going to sleep when he finally arrived. He crossed the room quickly crawling onto the bed to kiss her. "Nothing is going to happen if you don't shut the door" She informed when they parted for air.

"Oops" He said, quickly getting up to fix his mistake. While he was up he took a moment to brush his teeth and take off his shirt and jeans.

"Looks like we'll be making a trip to IKEA in the morning, which is probably a good thing because I need to get something for Gabby's baby shower" Erin commented when he slid into bed beside her.

"Um…you're supposed to be apologising" He reminded, leaning over her.

"Right there" She smiled pointing to the bedside table.

"Erin, that is not funny" He said. Anger growing in the pit of his stomach as he spotted the can of beetroot. She'd even been kind enough to bring a can opener and fork as well.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what were you expecting?" She questioned, thrilled by his twitching eyelid.

"You" He answered, reaching across to roughly remove her pyjamas. Erin tried to kiss her way to an apology as he tugged at her pants, it was the first time she'd ever actually tied them tightly. He grunted with frustration and was close to tearing them so she reached down and pulled the ties loose. "You don't normally tie them" He said, sounding betrayed.

"I'm so sorry" She laughed, lying still to make his attempts at clothing removal more difficult.

"No you aren't" He complained.

"You're right, I'm not" She shrugged before deciding to stop messing with him. Pushing him onto his back she removed her shirt then rolled on top of him. She peppered his face with light kisses, focusing on his jawline. A soft knock on their door had her moving back to her side of the bed. "Yeah" Erin called as she retrieved her shirt, pulling it on just as the door opened.

"I'm sorry but do you have a cat?" Katie asked.

"Umm…no. Why?" Erin questioned, it seemed awfully random.

"One just jumped onto my bed" Katie explained.

"Oh, it's not really ours. Kelly will come get it" Erin volunteered, giving him a shove. He looked to Katie at the door then his discarded jeans hanging over the side of the washing basket.

"I'll just go keep an eye on it" Katie said quickly when she noticed his hesitation.

"I hate cats" He growled as he pulled on his pants and rushed to shoo the creature outside. It had become a biweekly occurrence and the animal knew it was time to leave the moment he arrived. He followed it downstairs and let it out the back door. Stopping to say a quick goodnight to his sister he walked slowly back to the bedroom, convinced he wasn't going to get an apology. Erin sat waiting expectantly, slightly disappointed when he showed no interest in her. Instead he climbed into bed, sat up against his pillow and reached for his can of beetroot.

"No don't" Erin warned as he put the can opener on the lip of the can and started to open it. "It'll…" She tried to stop him but the bright pink juice had already spilled from the can, dripping onto his bare chest and then dribbling down to meet the sheets. The brand new white sheets they had received as a wedding gift.

"Sorry" He said as he tried to wipe away the juice, only smudging it and making it worse.

"Whatever" She shrugged, flicking the light switch as she rolled over to go to sleep, leaving him sitting in the dark to eat his beetroot.

"I'm sorry" He said hopefully. She didn't reply immediately, waiting until the sound of him eating got to her.

"Fine, give me some and I'll let you apologise" She answered, turning the light back on as she sat up, taking the can and fork from him.

"Should we be soaking this or something?" He asked, rubbing at the pink blotches on the sheets.

"Probably" She answered, no longer seeming at all concerned for the sheets. Two slices of beetroot later she placed the can on the bedside table, moving over him in the process. He was pleased to have her in his lap, even more so when she removed her shirt. Thankfully there were no further interruptions as they worked to make apologies that wouldn't be forgotten anytime soon.


	59. Chapter 59

"Where's Shay?" Erin asked as Kelly returned, carrying even more random household items in his arms.

"What do you mean? I thought she was with you" He asked, looking down to see that she wasn't with her mother.

"No, you took her to look at the magnetic containers" Erin reminded starting to panic a little.

"And then I brought her back" He answered, turning on the spot to scan the area, there were so many potential hiding spots for someone so small.

"Oh, yeah. Then you put her in the cupboard for a photo" She remembered.

"I definitely took her out again" He assured.

"When did you last see her?" She questioned, there was so much ground to cover they had to narrow it down before starting their search. Being logical and methodical would hopefully pay off.

"I don't know, over by that chair maybe" He answered, looking across at the bright orange office chair he had spun Shay around on.

"Okay, you check there while I go see…Wait, there she is" Erin announced with massive relief, crossing the walkway to retrieve her toddler from the display bed. Erin felt like they had been doing this way too often, the constant fluctuation of panic and relief leaving her feeling drained. "What are you doing baby?" She asked as she picked Shay up.

"Sleep Mama" Shay whined.

"I know baby, I'm sorry" Erin comforted knowing Shay

"Is she okay?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah, she just needs lunch and a sleep. This was supposed to be a half hour trip for dragon costumes" She explained, keeping a close eye on the drowsy toddler. If she went to sleep without food their afternoon would be a nightmare.

"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away" He apologised sincerely.

"You don't say" She replied, looking down at the assortment of things he thought they needed. It was getting to the point that he'd need a bag if he found anything else.

"Have you seen Katie?" He asked, realising she was missing as well.

"No…you go find her I'm going to get Shay some food" She said, obviously frustrated.

"Alright, you have your phone?" He checked. Splitting up in such a massive store was risky and they were already struggling to stay together.

"Yep" She nodded before leaving him to take a shortcut through to the food court. An hour later the four of them finally made it to the car. It would have taken twice as long if Erin hadn't managed to talk Kelly out of getting Shay a new bed. She knew they needed to buy one but there was no way it would fit in the car. Kelly resolved to come back by himself when she was at work.

* * *

><p>After two almost completely sleepless nights the three adults in the household were seriously considering burning the new bed and returning Shay to the crib she so desperately desired. Katie especially didn't understand the fuss, the look Erin gave Kelly made sure he knew that saying anything would have severe consequences.<p>

"Third time lucky right?" Katie asked hopefully. They'd retired to the couch after dinner, letting Shay play on the floor as they prepared themselves for another night long tantrum.

"She was yawning before we went to the park so hopefully she's too exhausted" Erin replied yawning herself at the thought of sleep.

"I don't understand, she was so excited in the store. She helped put it together and chose her own sheets…why does she hate it?" Kelly complained, watching as Shay burst into fits of giggles every time she dropped a block.

"Because it's different" Erin answered simply.

"There's an important food critic coming to the restaurant tomorrow" Katie said to no one in particular.

"I put the baby gate back in the hallway and confiscated her books so she won't be able to visit you again" Kelly explained as an apology.

"And we'll try to keep her quiet" Erin added, feeling even worse knowing that Shay's inability to accept change was disturbing Katie's sleep, and possibly her job performance.

"Its fine, surely she has to sleep tonight" Katie said enthusiastically.

"You'd think so, I told Cindy not to let her nap for very long after lunch" Erin agreed hopefully.

"May as well get it over with" Kelly said determinedly as he stood, taking Shay upstairs for her bath. Erin handed Katie the remote then followed. Shay knew bath time meant it was almost bedtime so she'd been intentionally difficult for the last few nights. Kelly had no other option but to pour copious quantities of bubble bath into the swirling warm water, white foam formed instantly, causing Shay great excitement. She was so preoccupied that she didn't even fuss when he unzipped the dragon costume. Erin watched cautiously from the doorway, not wanting to spark a tantrum by getting involved. Shay played with the bubbles while he lathered up her hair then rinsed it carefully. The difficult part was then to get her out, Erin contributed by using Roary and the stuffed dragon as incentives. Once Shay was dressed they tucked her into her bed and read her a story, then another to make sure she wasn't just pretending to be asleep.

"Quick" Erin hissed the moment Kelly was through the door. He followed her into the bedroom and in no time they were lying in bed enjoying the silence.

"This is great" He sighed softly.

"Sssh" She replied, feeling her eyelids grow heavier by the second.

* * *

><p>"No!" Erin said, disbelief evident in her voice, as her alarm sounded the next morning.<p>

"Yes" Kelly confirmed, rolling over to face her.

"Awesome" She grinned.

"We did it" He beamed, placing a quick kiss on her forehead.

"She did it" She corrected as she stretched.

"Celebratory pancakes?" Kelly asked, he had been making pancakes for breakfast whenever he got the chance.

"Absolutely" She agreed, never needing an excuse to eat something she didn't have to prepare.

"Don't take too long in the shower then" He added as he climbed out of bed.

"I won't" She answered, the thought of pancakes so appealing she rushed to shower and get dressed. The smell of pancakes wafting up the staircase made her even hungrier. By the time she arrived at the district she was regretting every mouthful. Taking the stairs slowly she was starting to feel a little better by the time she reached the top. One look at the sickening images on the whiteboard and her composure vanished. She peeled off her jacket and rushed past Nadia's desk, using putting her jacket in her locker as an excuse. It wasn't the first time morning sickness had struck at work but it was embarrassing to have it triggered by something she could usually handle with ease. She kept a toothbrush in her locker specifically for these occasions and she used it as she cleared her mind. Satisfied she wasn't going to vomit again she decided to join the rest of the unit for Voight's daily briefing. He updated them on Burgess' findings then moved on to explaining the new photographs on the whiteboard. Both cameras they had in place along the alley had captured the same thing, a teenage girl being beaten, raped and murdered.

"We have an ID for the kid, Natalie James, she ran away from home the other day because her little brother broke her iPod" Antonio informed, struggling with the knowledge that his daughter was older than Natalie would ever be.

"Whoever is responsible didn't want us watching, so either he's been planning this the whole time or he's done it before" Lindsay suggested, feeling the need to add her take on the situation and remind them of her presence.

"My guess is he's done it before, he's never going to do it again though. I want Halstead and Atwater on the rooftop watching the alley until we arrest him. Ruzek and Powell are keeping an eye on Burgess, I want Antonio and Lindsay to track the van until we have a body and, Alvin and I are going to go poke around" Voight informed. "Lindsay my office" He added when everyone started moving around to get on with their assigned tasks.

"But…" She argued.

"This will only take a minute" He answered, holding the door open for her as she moved into his office.

"What's up?" She asked as pulled on his vest and jacket.

"You alright?" He responded, ignoring her question.

"Yeah, I'm fine" She assured.

"I'll keep you at your desk today" He said, somehow managing to make it sound like and offer and an order at the same time.

"I'm totally fine to go out" Lindsay insisted.

"Well I'm not taking any chances so get comfortable" Voight smiled.

"Alright then" Lindsay sighed, he clearly wasn't going to change his mind. Her days on the streets were already numbered so she wanted to be out there with them. Voight had a point though, being behind her desk kept her close to food, water and bathrooms. Luxuries Halstead and Atwater wouldn't have on the rooftop. After further consideration she didn't mind spending the day at her desk. Antonio and Nadia were great company as they learned everything there was to know about the van, all four owners to date, ending with the man it had been stolen from. They watched through hours of security footage but still couldn't find it. Feeling the need to approach the case from a fresh angle Lindsay got to work on enhancing the footage to work towards identifying the man. While they searched they questioned his motives, there had to be a reason to use the alley and it was more than likely connected to Burgess' undercover job. Lindsay took a moment to stretch her legs and pour herself a mug of milk before returning to her desk, determined to prove she was still an important member of the unit.

**Ooh…The case is starting to get interesting! How far will Erin go to prove herself?... **


	60. Chapter 60

"Natalie's body's just been found" Halstead conveyed the moment the phone line connected. It was just after four in the morning so he wanted to get straight to the point. Erin had been sleeping soundly until her phone started buzzing violently, now she was wide awake.

"Where?" She croaked, climbing out of bed and grabbing clothes on her way into the bathroom.

"The stretch of riverbank just up from Monroe Bridge, there are other bodies too" He informed

"How many?" She asked, not sure she really wanted the answer.

"They're not sure yet" He answered grimly.

"Alright, I'm on my way" She said, holding her phone with her shoulder as she wriggled into her jeans.

"See you there" Halstead finished. Erin finished getting ready and made her way to the stairs, stopping to check on Shay as she went. While she seemed to have accepted the new bed she insisted on sleeping with her head at the wrong end, feet tucked in under her pillow. It was times like these Erin was thankful Katie was staying with them, if not she'd have to wake the sleeping toddler. She scrawled a quick note and stuck it to the wall opposite Katie's bedroom door. Hopefully Kelly would get home before Shay woke up. Leaving the house so early was strange, the city was surprisingly busy but traffic flow was smooth and she reached the bridge in no time. The swarming police presence let her know she was in the right place. She parked as far away as was reasonable and used the walk to prepare herself for what she was about to see. Spaced evenly along the riverbank were six shallow graves, the corpses in various states of decomposition.

"They all look like teens" Antonio informed having already assessed the bodies.

"Serial killer?" Lindsay questioned as she moved to get a better look at the closest body.

"Looks like it" He agreed, following as she continued, weaving through the flustered forensics team. Even in Chicago, with a notoriously high homicide rate, they didn't often find six bodies at once.

"Woah" She commented as she reached the third body, unlike the others it had been dismembered.

"That's the odd one out" Antonio said, quite unnecessarily.

"But it wasn't the first" She noted, thinking it was peculiar to change methods. Serial killers were typically set in their ways but at the same time were rarely rational.

"That one's leg is broken" He pointed out.

"There doesn't seem to be much consistency" She commented. Natalie was beaten and bruised. The second most recent corpse looked almost unharmed, then there was the dismembered body, another intact, undamaged, corpse, followed by the badly broken leg and the final one was only partially uncovered but had clearly been shot in the head.

"Once we have lab reports we'll know how and when they were killed" Antonio replied, well aware that they didn't have enough information to be making judgements.

"That's going to take days. How were they found?" Lindsay asked, looking around for the rest of the unit.

"An old guy with a metal detector" He answered pointing to the group nearest the bridge. Halstead and Voight were deep in conversation, clearly finding it just as strange as she did. What kind of person walks around using a metal detector along the riverbank at four in the morning?

"Insomniac" Halstead informed when Lindsay posed this question a few minutes later.

"Fair enough" She shrugged.

"Voight wants us head over to the bridge and use the photo of the guy in the alley to see what the locals know" Halstead explained turning to lead the way.

"Okay" Lindsay nodded as she followed Halstead. There was barely anyone out so rather than questioning people they were essentially tasked with watching the sun rise over the city. Lindsay had always loved the eerie silence of the early morning and the view from the bridge was spectacular, she barely missed being in bed. When early morning joggers and cyclists started streaming across the bridge they got to work. Even their best photo only showed half the man's face making him difficult to identify. One person mentioned that they might have seen him a few weeks ago, remembering because he had been covered in mud. They asked probing questions until they had and an exact date, from there they would potentially be able to connect it with a murder.

* * *

><p>By three o'clock in the afternoon Lindsay was feeling the effects of the early start. Yawning seemingly constantly she was blinking rapidly just to clear her eyes long enough to read the documents Burgess had managed to copy. The financial records of the pawn shop were exactly what she expected from a criminal enterprise, poor and confusing. Some transactions didn't even mention what was being exchanged. The highlight of her day had to be when Kelly stopped by with Shay and afternoon tea, delicious carrot cake thanks to Katie.<p>

"I missed you this morning" He said, taking a seat next to her on the stairs. Shay was happy sliding from step to step on her bottom, the smooth stone making it easy.

"We barely spend five minutes together normally, I'm rushing around to get ready and you're half asleep" Erin reminded, she was used to not seeing him daily.

"What was so urgent anyway?" He questioned.

"Some bodies were discovered down by the river" She answered distantly, thinking of the unidentified victims and their families.

"Gross" He responded.

"Yep, six teenage murder victims. We've only identified one so far and that's because we have footage of her being raped and murdered" Erin elaborated. She didn't usually like to go into detail but today it seemed to help.

"That's horrible, how do you do that everyday?" He asked, never really considering that things like that happened in real life let alone in their city.

"Well thankfully we don't. It helps that we're going to find the person responsible and make them pay" She replied, finishing the last of the slice of cake.

"As long as you're alright. I'm here if you need anything, you just have to call" He reassured, pulling her into a side on hug for a moment.

"I know, I'm fine though" Erin assured, it was nice to know he was willing to talk to her about tough cases, it felt wrong though. The intelligence unit were their own little family, helping and supporting each other. Talking about work with her real family defeated the purpose of trying to defend them from it all in the first place.

"Lindsay, we have three ID's" Nadia informed as she made her way past them as she climbed the stairs.

"I still think Severide sounds better" Kelly commented, disappointed every time someone called her Lindsay. He wanted the entire world to know that she was his, that they belonged together and always would.

"It does, on you. Severide, take our baby home and don't wait up" She instructed.

"You'll be home for dinner though" He said determinedly.

"Probably not, I'm staying for as long as it takes" She replied, handing him the empty plastic container.

"You have to eat and sleep" He said gently, struggling to keep his eyes up but knowing that looking at her stomach would make her angry.

"I will, when we have him in custody" She smiled, having been eating only moments ago he could hardly complain about that. This break from the computer had cured her endless yawning and she was ready to get back to work.

"I'll talk to Voight if I have to" He threatened, they both knew it was an empty threat, he wouldn't dare.

"He's been really great, you should probably thank him, he's the reason I've spent most of the last two days behind my desk" She defended.

"Alright. Don't work too hard" He said finally, lifting Shay up into the air.

"I love you" She grinned, the sound of their daughter laughing and the smile on his face made everything worth it.

"Love you too" He responded, they said it so frequently he didn't even have to think any more. She kissed and hugged Shay goodbye then got back to work. Reading the missing persons reports was more difficult than she expected, the parents were so desperate to get their children back and she knew they wouldn't. They could never hold their children again because some sick bastard had taken them away. She channeled her anger and got a lot of work done.

* * *

><p>"You need to go home" Voight said as he stopped to sit on the corner of her desk, it was well past midnight and he was questioning his own reasons for staying.<p>

"But I'm so close to something, I know it" Lindsay assured flicking through the documents scattered on her desk. She regretted not keeping the missing persons files separate from the pawn shop ledger.

"Well what then?" He asked, her contributions to a case were often the tipping point between collecting evidence and actually arresting the perpetrator. He would be willing to let her stick around, but only if she really was onto something.

"I don't know, I have the information I just need to process it" She explained trying to filter through the library worth of papers she had read in the last twenty-four hours.

"Which you can do from bed. I'll drive you" He pressed as he took the paper from her hand, placing it on the wrong pile.

"I'm fine" She argued, looking intently at the documents, there was something she was missing. It was staring her in the face yet she couldn't see it.

"Home, now! That's an order" He said, hitting his fist against her desk to emphasise the seriousness of his statement. The force shifted the top piece of paper and finally she could see it.

"Wait, just one second" She argued as he tried to pull her up out of her chair. The dates were the key. The dates the teens were reported missing were the same days that massive undisclosed transactions took place at the pawn shop. Somehow the pawn shop was profiting, it was almost like they were selling teenage runaways. To be murdered. **  
><strong>


	61. Chapter 61

"What are you doing?" Erin asked, opening one eye as she heard Kelly pause right beside the bed.

"I was going to turn your alarm off. I should have known you weren't asleep - no snoring" Kelly answered, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I need to get to work" She said, ignoring his comments as she shifted past him to get out of bed.

"You need to get more sleep" He complained, following her into the bathroom.

"I'll sleep when this case is over. I'm fine" Erin assured, as she removed her pyjamas and turned on the water.

"It's not you I'm worried about" He said sharply.

"Love you too" She answered frustratedly as she stepped into the shower.

"Erin" He tried to reason.

"Go to work" She replied, preoccupied. "Oh, can you drop Shay off?" She added as he turned to leave the bathroom.

"Fine, but promise me you'll eat a proper breakfast" Kelly said, stopping to lean against the doorway.

"I promise" Erin called back before stepping under the water to rinse off. She didn't even stop to dry her hair, pulling on comfortable clothes before rushing downstairs to the kitchen. After staring into the fridge, absentmindedly, for a few minutes she realised she was wasting time. She cut herself a slice of cake, not even bothering to with a plate, then had second thoughts and grabbed an apple as well. Not stopping to eat as she found her keys and got into her car. Driving one handed she made her way to the district, accidentally leaving her apple in the cup holder.

"Morning" Halstead greeted eagerly from his desk, the three cardboard cups in his bin indicated he was only still conscious thanks to caffeine.

"What do we have?" She questioned, looking over the new additions to the case board.

"No, no, no, no!" Voight started as he came rushing out of his office.

"Don't even bother" Lindsay sighed, settling behind her desk, flicking through the files Halstead had handed her. They now had all six missing persons reports and preliminary laboratory findings as well.

"My office?" Voight questioned, looking across at Halstead. Instead of keeping his head down Halstead sat up straight, wondering what Voight didn't want him to hear. It was always infuriating to know he was being left out of something. Lindsay didn't look like she was about to move though so he was hopeful he'd be present for their discussion.

"I've got work to do" She replied, turning her attention to the first file.

"No, you have sleep to be doing" He replied, reaching across to shut the folder.

"Halstead hasn't slept" Lindsay challenged, daring him to explain his reluctance to let her work. She opened the file again as she waited for his response.

"Erin" Voight warned, she paused for a second to assess how far she was willing to go.

"I'm just trying to do my job" She said softly, deciding that conflict wasn't the right approach to convince him to let her stay.

"You're no use on four hours sleep" He refuted.

"Hank, I would love to go home and sleep but you know as well as I do that I can't. Not until this is over, not until we find the person who killed these kids" She justified. Voight frowned, he understood and couldn't argue with her stance. He hadn't slept so he was already a hypocrite..

"Fine" Voight said resignedly.

"What's that about?" Halstead questioned the moment Voight was out of earshot.

"You know" She shrugged.

"Whatever" Halstead said. She clearly wasn't going to explain herself so he assumed it was just Voight being overprotective, as usual.

"Where is everyone anyway?" Lindsay asked, thankful Halstead accepted her non-answer.

"Bringing in the pawn shop owner, Miklos Wolski. They've arrested him for trading stolen goods but we're going to question him about the transactions you found" He explained.

"Okay, anything else?" She questioned, feeling as though she'd missed way too much already.

"DNA evidence proves that the guy who shot at us on the rooftop was the one raped and murdered Natalie. And Tahlia Brown as well. Nothing in the system though" Halstead contributed, he'd spent his entire morning going over everything they had on the alley/rooftop guy, trying to find something to identify him.

"None of the others were raped?" She asked, slightly surprised.

"Nope" He answered immediately.

"Why not?" She pondered. The more she looked into causes of death the more she questioned his motive.

"Not my area of expertise, but they're flying in a federal unit to take the case. We only have until they arrive" Halstead informed, sounding slightly relieved that he wouldn't have to work a second night.

"When's that?" She asked.

"Six tonight" He replied. They had ten hours to figure it out. Erin Lindsay had always been good at working to deadlines. She realised however that it was impossible to meet when she came to the conclusion that the six teens weren't all murdered by the same person. The circumstances surrounding the deaths of Natalie and Tahlia were so similar and the rest were so very different. Connecting the other pair, young boys who died of asphyxiation and drowning, left them with four different murder techniques, or four different murderers. It was all just a theory but the further they looked the more sense it made. Voight and Olinsky had Wolski in the cage and were doing their best to extract useful information. The rest of the unit were upstairs going over theories.

"So somehow the pawn shop guy is selling the kids for murder. Mr Rape-Murder must be in on it because from what we know he's the one who's disposed of all the bodies. I think it's some sort of sick business scheme. He provides the victim, and include disposal, for the twenty-five hundred dollar fee" Lindsay proposed, she'd been trying to connect the murders to Wolski, so far unsuccessfully.

"Makes sense" Antonio realised, sickened by the thought of human lives as merchandise.

"Assuming Mr Rape-Murder is behind this, why is he using the pawn shop?" Halstead asked, not convinced they had enough information to substantiate Lindsay's theory.

"Because it's easier that way, criminals everywhere, word of mouth advertising" She explained.

"Guys, we got something" Atwater said, placing his phone on his desk, they'd barely noticed him taking a call.

"Yeah?" Ruzek asked excitedly.

"Wolski definitely isn't the rapist, but the DNA is very similar, the lab lady says they have to be close relatives" Atwater informed.

"Does Wolski have a brother?" Lindsay asked hopefully.

"Three, only one in the US, Alekto" Halstead answered, the search tab still open on his computer.

"I'll get Voight" Antonio said as he rushed from the room, at last they had a name.

* * *

><p>"Please" Lindsay almost begged.<p>

"Absolutely not, I've already let you stay all day. There is no way you're coming with us" Voight replied firmly, tightening his vest until it sat just how he liked it.

"I'm fine" She reminded, just like Kelly, Voight seemed to think being pregnant somehow made her extremely fragile. No matter how much she protested they didn't seem to understand that she knew her body and her own capabilities.

"You can keep Burgess company" He said, trying to make it sound important. Burgess was struggling to process their theory. She'd watched Miklos and Alekto arguing out the back of the pawn shop, at the time it hadn't made sense. Now that Miklos had as good as confirmed Lindsay's theory, everything had changed. Kim felt guilty that she hadn't figured it out herself, she had worked closely with both brothers as part of her undercover job, never suspecting a thing.

"Can't Powell?" Lindsay asked, knowing he was trying to make her feel needed elsewhere to distract her.

"Erin, you're not going to win on this one" He answered firmly. Unlike other situations where he typically caved to her demands there was no way he was going to let her, exhausted and pregnant, accompany them on a potentially dangerous arrest. Her presence in such a risky situation was completely unjustifiable.

"Alright, you'd better get going, it's only fifteen minutes until the feds are supposed to arrive" She instructed, accepting his decision reluctantly.

"You can keep them occupied" Voight suggested.

"Stop making up jobs" She complained. Watching the rest of the unit, fully suited up, making their way to the cars.

"I'm serious, I want ten minutes alone with this guy" He replied, they both knew what that meant, he was going to get a confession, using as much force as was required, ignoring the rules and regulations.

"Just go arrest him first" She said, warning him against getting too far ahead of himself.

"Stay put" He warned finally. Lindsay watched on angrily as they drove away, tempted to suit up and follow them. Instead she headed upstairs to see what Burgess and Powell were doing. She joined them in listening to the radio chatter of the unit, it wasn't the same as being there in person but it was better than waiting around. Before she could hear if Alekto Wolski was home a young uniform was sent upstairs by Platt, informing them that the feds had arrived for the case handover.

"Let me know when they get him" Lindsay instructed Burgess before leaving them to go greet the federal agents. "Detective Lindsay" She introduced herself, leading the group up the stairs.

"We were told to talk to Sergeant Voight" The leader commented.

"He's busy at the moment" She informed, thinking it was rude that they hadn't introduced themselves in return.

"Doing?" He pressed.

"Arresting a suspect, then we're going to question him. After that hopefully everything will be resolved and you'll have made the trip for nothing" Lindsay answered, not meaning to annoy them but feeling the need protective of her unit and their case.

"We'll be doing the interview" He assured.

"You can discuss that with Voight. I'm just here to fill you in on what we have" She said with a small smile. Turning their attention to the whiteboard she ran them through the victims and their causes of death along with everything they had on the Wolski brothers.

"It's definitely not a serial killer so we might just let you keep this one" The leader said, trying to quiet his colleagues whispers of disappointment.

"We just want to see it through" She said, hoping he knew what it was like to have a case stolen when all the hard work had already been done.

"You still have three other murderers to catch" He reminded.

"I'm sure we'll manage" Lindsay assured, confident Voight would get a confession from Alekto, along with the names of the other murderers.

"We might go check in at the hotel, call me when you've interviewed Alekto" He said, clearly impatient, reaching into his pocket to retrieve a business card to offer her.

"Alright" She nodded, accepting the card. Now she knew his name, David Forster.

"Nice to meet you detective" David said before guiding his team back downstairs. Relieved not to have to entertain them any further Lindsay rushed to find out how the unit were going. Burgess quickly explained that Alekto had taken his elderly neighbor hostage, Halstead was positioned ready to end things. It happened so fast, even the people there seemed confused over the radio. Halstead had been forced to take the shot, obliterating Alekto's shoulder rather than killing him. They needed the information he had and it worked in favor of the hostage as well. Then there was complete radio silence for what felt like forever. Four minutes later Atwater requested an ambulance, then Lindsay's phone started to buzz.

"We've got him, and names" Voight informed.

"Okay" She acknowledged. Then the call ended abruptly, that meant the ambulance had arrived and Voight had other things to do. Lindsay was ready to find the other murderers the second the unit returned with their names. After searching the names himself Voight was confident the three remaining murderers weren't immediately dangerous. He ordered everyone home for a good nights sleep, and greeted Kelly pleasantly when he arrived. Voight had made the phone call without thinking, between the two of them Erin stood no chance of refusing dinner and bed. It didn't stop her from being furious but all her arguments were forgotten the moment her head hit the pillow. With her stomach full, Shay sleeping peacefully and plenty of missed sleep to make up for she had no trouble drifting off. Finally satisfied that she was alright Kelly headed back to the firehouse, almost thankful he didn't have to endure another night of snoring.

**Yesterdays reviews had me grinning the entire time I was writing this. Thanks, I really appreciate it :D **


	62. Chapter 62

Erin stumbled into the kitchen, unable to sleep with such a wonderful smell wafting up the stairs. Kelly was standing shirtless at the stove, Shay on on his hip, spatula in hand. She stood watching them, moments like these made her especially thankful for her perfect little family.

"Mama!" Shay called when Erin approached.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" Kelly apologised immediately.

"It's fine, I need food" She replied, taking Shay from him so she could say good morning. She felt as if she hadn't spent any time with Shay over the last few days, at least not while she was awake.

"I made pancakes, special celebratory bacon pancakes" He said proudly, stepping aside to show her the pancakes, cubes of bacon mixed into the batter to make amazing smelling, spotted pancakes.

"Celebratory?" She questioned, not sure exactly what they were celebrating.

"The case is finished isn't it?" He asked in response, suddenly worried.

"Not quite, we've still got three murderers to catch" She answered hesitantly.

"Oh" He groaned, not sure how much longer he could continue without her. From what he'd seen she wasn't eating or sleeping properly and now more than ever he felt the need to make sure was taking care of herself.

"Sorry" She said, feeling terrible for causing such a dejected look to spread across his face.

"Does that mean more late nights?" He asked, focusing on cooking rather than looking at her.

"Until we catch them" Erin nodded, moving closer so she could put a hand on his back. She kissed his shoulder then saw the stack of already cooked pancakes, desperately hungry.

"Alright" He shrugged, there was nothing he could do about it.

"Can I?" She asked, pointing to the pancakes.

"Of course" He replied, handing her a plate. She froze for a moment, conflicted, her favourite thing to do was smear peanut butter on pancakes, but these had added bacon.

"I'm pregnant" She said to herself as she retrieved the jar of peanut butter, and the strawberry jam and Nutella while she was there.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he watched her top a pancake with peanut butter, then one with jam and another with Nutella on top.

"I'm pregnant" She answered with a grin. "I just feel like it" She added as she cut into the stack for a first bite. The combination was exactly what she needed.

"You're crazy" Kelly laughed watching as the continued to stuff food into her mouth.

"It's so good! Try it" She insisted, holding out her fork for him.

"No thanks, I'm going to have butter on mine" He said, moving quickly to avoid the fork.

"Boring. Shay thinks it's good, don't you?" Erin defended.

"More" Shay demanded, reaching out to grab the forkful destined for her mothers mouth, shoving it in her own instead.

"You really should try it, the Nutella layer at least, it's the perfect combination of salty and sweet" She said, offering him one last chance.

"What's the perfect combination?" Katie asked as she entered the kitchen.

"Nutella and bacon" Erin informed, wondering how she was going to explain away the peculiar combination.

"I'll trust you on that one" Katie said, clearly unwilling to experiment.

"You two are so boring" Erin complained, adding another layer with more Nutella before moving to the dining room. Shay sat on Erin's lap, tearing off pieces for herself, getting sticky Nutella, jam and peanut butter all over her hands and face. Kelly and Katie followed a few moments later.

"She's going to need a bath!" Kelly laughed watching as Shay tried to brush her hair from her eyes, leaving a brown streak across her forehead.

"Is that peanut butter?" Katie asked, realising there was more on Erin's pancakes than just Nutella.

"Yep" Erin nodded, waiting to see if Katie was going to question it any further. Kelly quickly started a conversation about other things they could add to pancakes. It was obvious he was trying to divert attention from his wife's strange eating habits.

"I'll take our messy little monster" Kelly volunteered, kissing Erin's forehead before taking Shay, keeping her at arms length.

"I have to get to work" Erin said softly, she wished she could join them in the bathroom for a bubble fight, or on the couch for a lazy day in. Instead she cleared the table and dragged herself upstairs to get ready for work.

* * *

><p>"Lindsay, just in time, want to help me get a confession?" Halstead asked as soon as Lindsay arrived.<p>

"From?" She questioned, hesitant to face a violent murderer first thing in the morning.

"Arthur Bresnik, the Wolski's first customer - shot sixteen year old Penelope Lyons for absolutely no reason. Some uniforms picked him up trying to get an interstate bus out of Union Station" He replied.

"Alright" She agreed, noting that the room felt almost crowded with everyone back behind their desks.

"Can I use your desk then?" Burgess asked hesitantly. Voight had called Burgess and Roman up for the day but hadn't given them any orders yet. They stood out of the way waiting to be involved, Burgess had never been good at waiting and knew she could be of some use behind a computer.

"Sure" Lindsay nodded, they had two more murderers to track down and needed all the help they could get. Lindsay knew it was unrealistic but she really wanted to catch them before the end of shift, that way she could spend a whole day with Kelly and Shay. After a quick discussion with Halstead they settled on an interrogation strategy and went in to face Bresnik. They didn't have anything other than Wolski's word to go on, the ballistics report might be of use if they had found the murder weapon. Bresnik's lawyer tried to stall but in the end his client confessed - to manslaughter. He claimed he was simply making the most of an opportunity offered to him by a friend, Wolski had already abducted Penelope so there was no premeditation from Bresnik. It was enough to put him away for a long time so they saw it as a success.

"Anything on Curtis or Furling?" Halstead asked as they headed back out to their desks.

"Spencer Curtis is a woman" Burgess informed.

"So?" Lindsay asked, a little frustrated that neither Burgess or Roman were moving from behind her desk.

"So she's the one who killed India Gossman, and dismembered her body" Burgess explained looking horrified.

"Women kill people, and hack up bodies" Lindsay replied, clearly having no patience for stereotyping.

"She's new at this" Ruzek defended.

"Who names their daughter Spencer anyway?" Halstead asked, trying to diffuse the building tension.

"Mr and Mrs Curtis did, obviously" Lindsay snapped back.

"What up with you?" Antonio questioned, passing Lindsay on his way to his desk. He'd been downstairs running some ideas past Powell.

"Nothing" She replied, not even sure herself why she was suddenly feeling so angry. Taking a moment to calm down she grabbed a drink in the break room then set about getting her desk back, peacefully. "Can I have my desk back?" She asked, feeling no need to use manners.

"Oh, sorry" Roman said, moving quickly out of the way. Burgess gave Lindsay a challenging look then let Roman pull her up from the chair. Feeling considerably more settled in her own space Lindsay was able to get on with work. The whole unit worked non-stop all morning, finally finding a recent address through Spencer Curtis' employer. One look at Voight told Lindsay she wasn't going to be accompanying them. At least she still had Owen Furling to find, taking her mind off the forced isolation. Halstead seemed to be the only one even slightly suspicious about it. Having Curtis in custody gave a morale boost and the unit were working rapidly and cohesively towards finding Furling as well. No one cared when dinner time rolled by and they still hadn't had lunch. Voight kept throwing Lindsay looks so she made sure he saw her eating a muesli bar. There was no way she was going home before everyone else, even if that meant working all night.

"Coffee" Burgess said, placing a cardboard cup on Lindsay's desk the way she had for everyone else. Frustrated didn't even begin to describe how Lindsay was feeling. Burgess knew she was pregnant, her behaviour proving she was more interested in her career than any friendship they had. Then, just when she was starting to think horrible things the familiar fragrance of a Chai latte reached her. Lindsay looked across at Burgess questioningly, a wink in response suggested she had completely misjudged the situation. One thing was certain though, Burgess was vying for her position in the unit. That made her a threat and as such she needed to be treated with caution.

"I've got him, Furling, he's driving across town, on Carlton Street right now but he's indicating to turn onto Twenty-Sixth" Powell informed, eyes fixed on the laptop screen.

"Let's go" Voight called, the unit snapped to action. "You can ride with me on this one" He added when he stopped before Lindsay, the only person not to have made a move.

"Okay" She nodded, even staying the car would feel more inclusive, especially since even Powell was heading out. The four vehicles split up, knowing that when they saw each other again they would be on top of Furling. Rather disappointingly Furling tried to play it cool, pulling over immediately when signaled by Burgess and Roman in their squad car. Lindsay and Voight watched from their heated seats as Antonio, Atwater and Halstead arrested him.

"Four murderers in forty-eight hours, that has to be a record" Voight said as they pulled out of the car space.

"I'm sure the Commander will be stopping by to personally thank you" Lindsay replied.

"Not likely, he doesn't come in person unless I'm in trouble. It's been a busy week" He commented, he'd rather come to dread the Commanders visits.

"It certainly has" She agreed instantaneously.

"So you won't argue when I tell you I don't want to see you until Tuesday at least?" He questioned, knowing he was pushing his luck.

"I didn't say that" She complained.

"Well too bad, I'm dropping you home and if you turn up before Tuesday I'll fire you" Voight threatened confidently.

"You wouldn't" She laughed, reminded of the empty threats he had used when she was a teen. He was constantly saying he'd drop her off on a street corner if he caught her doing the wrong thing, they both knew he'd become too attached for that. On her first night at the Voight's house he had given her a welcome to the family speech.

"I'm sure Burgess can replace you" He assured, silencing her for the rest of the drive.

"Thanks" She muttered out of obligation when he pulled up out the front of her house. Frustrated that he had brought Burgess into the conversation.

"Sleep well kid" He replied, almost apologetically, waiting until she was inside to pull away.

* * *

><p>"I've missed this" Erin whispered as she looked over her shoulder to see Kelly staring blankly in her direction. He had started of watching her, she always looked happy when she slept, relaxed in a way she never was while awake. Then he had started thinking, or rather scheming and plotting.<p>

"Me too" He agreed, pulling her across the bed so their bodies were firmly pressed together.

"We'll we have all day to make up for it" She grinned, twisting to face him before giving him a gentle kiss.

"Yeah..." He replied slowly and cautiously "about that..."

"Seriously?" She demanded, disbelief evident in her eyes.

"I'm really sorry" He apoligised knowing he had been the one complaining when she sacrificed family time for work, now he was the one skipping out.

"What's more important than time with me? And Shay and the baby?" She questioned, looking sad.

"Low blow" He complained, she was becoming much too good at using the baby against him.

"What are you doing then?" Erin asked, trying to move away to evidence her lack of support for anything other than spending the morning in bed together. He tightened his grip, not willing to let her go just yet.

"It's a surprise" He replied in barely a whisper.

"Please don't" She protested straight away, she had always hated surprises.

"You'll like it I promise" Kelly assured.

"How long do we have then?" Erin asked, raising her eyebrows hopefully.

"Plenty of time for that" He grinned, kissing her hungrily to make sure she knew just how much he hated how her work hours had kept them apart. The moment she was finally naked there was a thud against the door, then another.

"Is that knocking?" She questioned.

"Nope" He replied, pressing his lips to hers such that the room was silent. They could hear that it was Shay, awake. If her bedroom door hadn't stopped her theirs wouldn't last long either.

"It's my turn to make breakfast anyway" Erin concluded, pulling her pyjamas back on.

"I guess. Maybe we can pick back up after the surprise?" He suggested, only just resisting the urge to reach across and pull her back to bed.

"Of course" She agreed before pulling open the door to enthusiastically greet their daughter. He listened as they laughed their way down the stairs, smiling broadly as he took a shower then joined them for breakfast.

"Don't say a word!" Was the first thing she said when he returned after a few hours out organising the surprise.

"I wasn't planning on it, but if I was the word would be gorgeous" Kelly responded without needing to think, it was the only word even close to describing her.

"Shut up" She groaned, sinking further into the couch, hoping he would let it go.

"I'm serious" He said determinedly.

"I just haven't done any washing in a while and they're comfortable" She justified, running her hands down her legs.

"You can wear leggings anytime you want, no reasons or excuses necessary" He explained.

"Have I told you I love you?" She asked, feeling a ridiculous surge of gratitude only attributable to hormones.

"You have, but I still love hearing it" Kelly grinned, looking anxiously out the window. Erin almost wanted to get up so she could see what he was looking at, but that would indicate she was excited for the surprise he had planned.

"Good" She nodded.

"Ready for your surprise?" He asked, again looking to the window.

"I don't know, tell me what it is and I'll tell you if I'm ready" Erin proposed as a last minute escape option.

"Just come here" He laughed, grasping her hand firmly as he pulled her up.

"Okay" She answered, resigned to letting his surprise occur as he led her to the front door. Shay felt left out and followed along quickly. They stopped on the front landing, Kelly waiting for her to notice the difference. Erin scanned the yard then broadened her scan to the fence, footpath and beyond.

"I thought you might want these" He smiled, depositing a car key in her hand.

"What?" She asked, though she had already noticed the car in their driveway. A midsized SUV, the same blue as his old car, sat there, shiny and new.

"I love you" He reminded, before she could react properly.

"You bought a car?" She questioned unable to take her eyes off the car, she could see that the plastic wrap was still on the seats.

"Had to replace the one that failed to deliver you to our wedding" He justified.

"But..." She started, too shocked to form a full sentence.

"But I needed a new car and I decided to be practical. I have a family now, a growing one. It's the first time I've actually looked at safety features before buying a car. This model got the highest ratings in the class..." He shared, clearly pleased with his purchase.

"Kelly" She said, stopping his babbling without giving a definitive reaction.

"I know I should have talked to you about this" He apologised, worried that she still hadn't said anything.

"It's fine, its more than fine. This is great, like really great! I love it and I love you and it's blue. Thank you for thinking of us" She replied, babbling just as much as he was. Damned hormones almost had her crying.

"I think about you all the time" He said looking her dead in the eye. Feeling things getting too serious she cracked a smile.

"Can we go for a drive?" She asked excitedly.

"Of course" He said, producing his own set of keys."I thought Shay would like to help take the plastic off, it's kind of like unwrapping presents and she loves that" He explained as he scooped Shay up and carried her down to the car. Erin walked around the vehicle, looking it over critically before confirming her approval with a smile. She took photos as Shay tore at the plastic then they argued as he fitted her car seat. Then they could finally go for a drive.

"People like new car smell but its making me sick" She complained just as they made it onto the main road nearest their house.

"Do not vomit in my new car" He warned jokingly.

"Take me home then. Quickly" She replied, now that she had acknowledged the nausea is was much more intense.

"Really?" He questioned, though he was already indicating to turn around.

"Really" She assured, winding down her window fully to try to get rid of the smell of new plastic. Cold air blew into the car, her hair fluttering wildly in her face. Closing her eyes for a moment she ignored the wind and nausea, focusing on how wonderful her life was. Then a wave of nausea hit, she breathed through it, delighted by what it meant. A new car was great but nothing could compare to a new baby.

**Just a few of things to say:**

**- I have absolutely no idea how the American legal system works so I'm using what I know of Australian law (I only did one semester of law at university so I'm definitely not an expert). My understanding is that the differentiation between murder and manslaughter is premeditation.**

**- I love Burgess, Erin is just feeling a little uneasy and I'm writing her perception of the situation.**

**- I know very little about cars, picture a Ford Escape/Nissan X-Trail/Toyota Captiva or similar... I had to Google American car categories and they seemed to refer to that type as midsized SUVs so that's what I went with. I hope it wasn't too confusing. **

**- There is a cyclone heading in my direction. It is possible I will lose power, don't think I've given up on this story if I don't update for a few days! **


	63. Chapter 63

"Go to work already" Erin complained, pushing Kelly to the edge of the bed.

"Do I have to?" He whined trying to resist.

"Yes" She said as she gave an unexpected shove, he only just caught himself before hitting the floor.

"I've barely seen you all week and now I'm the one who has to go to work" He protested as he straightened up.

"Barely seen me?" She laughed. "Last night? Earlier this morning? Did you have your eyes closed?"

"Not what I meant" He answered seriously.

"We can't spend all day in bed, go get in the shower. I'm going back to sleep until Shay gets up" She informed, rolling over to tease him with her bare back.

"Twenty minutes of sleep?" He questioned fighting the urge to climb back into bed.

Yes, I expect you to get her breakfast then put her in bed with me and give her my phone" Erin explained, it definitely wasn't the type of parent she had planned to be.

"Nice" He replied harshly.

"You complain when I don't sleep!" She reminded.

"Why don't I just take Shay to Cindy?" He suggested in response.

"No, just wake me up when you leave" She ordered, pulling the covers up over her head as she curled up to sleep.

"You sure?" He asked, if he couldn't stay in bed with her the next best thing was knowing she was taking care of herself and the baby by resting.

"I need to spend time with her too" She said, her voice muffled by the blankets.

"Alright" He said as he closed the bathroom door.

* * *

><p>Erin didn't expect him to actually go through with it, but when she woke up Shay was sitting there playing on the phone. Tiny tongue sticking out the side of her mouth in concentration. "Morning baby" Erin said as she reached across to pull her into a hug.<p>

"NO!" Yelled Shay in response, hitting her mothers hands away to focus on the game.

"What are you playing?" Erin asked moving herself to sit up behind Shay instead. She watched quietly as Shay finished the level, setting a high score. "Yay" She clapped, trying to celebrate the small victory, then she took the phone before Shay could start the next level.

"Mama!" Shay complained trying to get the phone back. When she realised she wasn't going to get her way she threw herself back onto the bed for a full blown, kicking and screaming tantrum. Erin frowned then sat back to wait until Shay calmed down.

"I'm sorry baby" Erin apologised, resting a hand on Shay's stomach. Shay tried to roll away but Erin wouldn't let her, deciding the best solution was a good tickle. Squeals and tears of laughter were so much nicer. When Shay was smiling and happy again they got up. Shay joined Erin in the shower, fascinated by the way the soap foam was washed away by the stream of warm water. They dressed and went for a drive to Shay's favourite indoor play center.

Brightly coloured play equipment, padded for safety, filled the hall giving Shay endless opportunities for fun. Unlike the other mums who sat around to watch Erin liked to get involved, following Shay into the ball pit, onto the trampoline and down the various slides. Not to be unexpected given her parents and their occupations Shay was a thrill seeker. She was always looking for something semi-dangerous to do to test her strength and capabilities. This meant she favoured the same sections of the playground as the older children. Erin almost always had to step in to ensure Shay got a turn, this week however school had returned and there were no older children to compete with. After what felt like the millionth ride down the slide Erin decided it was time for a break. At the cafe she purchased a rainbow cupcake for Shay and a orange and poppy seed muffin for herself. Shay ate quickly, making a terrible mess then ran off to play again while Erin cleaned up.

"Oh, don't worry that's kind of my job" A teenage employee said as Erin wiped up the cupcake crumbs with a baby wipe.

"Couldn't help myself" Erin replied, cleaning up after Shay ate was such a habit by now.

"You're the cool mum" The teen commented as she moved to wipe over Erin's table.

"I am?" Erin asked, not sure what that even meant.

"Yeah, you don't just sit around" She smiled.

"I'm sure there are others" Erin shrugged not thinking it was nearly as uncommon as the employee did.

"Not really, we had a kid fall and break his arm last week and his mother didn't even move. Then she complained about not getting to finish her cheesecake" The teen recalled.

"I didn't think it was possible to break an arm in here" Erin said, standing up to get a better view of what Shay was doing. She definitely wasn't in immediate danger having shoved some of the ball pit balls down the front of her shirt, carrying them up to the top of the slide so she could roll them down one by one.

"The padding's great but it only goes so far" The employee nodded then noticed the added concern in Erin's eyes. "Your kid is fine, she won't break anything. It's when they're older and try to climb up the outside of the equipment that they break stuff."

"Yeah she's not big enough for that yet" Erin said, sitting back down.

"How old is she?" She asked, putting down her spray bottle for a moment.

"Almost two" Erin answered, it was strange to say, it felt like just last week she was saying almost one.

"She's really cute" The teen commented.

"I certainly think so, for now anyway. Wait until she throws a tantrum when I tell her we're leaving" Erin joked though it was quite possible seeing as Shay had been particularly sensitive all morning.

"Yeah, good luck with that. I'd better get going" She said with a small, sympathetic laugh.

"Of course" Erin nodded watching the teen move to clear a table across the room for a moment then turned her attention back to Shay. As Shay started to slow down, stopping to sit and rest on the stairs up to the slide, Erin saw her opportunity. "It's time to go home" She warned, Shay frowned a little.

"Mama look" Shay instructed, releasing a ball down the slide, then the rest all at once. They slid down together and collected the balls, Erin leading the way to the ball pit instead of the slide. Shay played some more then climbed out herself, looking tired.

"Ready to go?" Erin asked, Shay didn't protest and took her mother's hand, content to be led out of the building. Erin made sure the music was up nice and loud in the car, not wanting Shay to fall asleep quite yet. The plan had been to go straight home but the massive closing down sale signs on one of Erin's favourite baby clothes stores was grounds for a side trip. Shay tried to carry the basket as Erin made sensible selections, practice with Shay meant she focused on clothes that were easy to get on and off. And gender neutral. Keeping in mind the stacks of baby clothes they had at home she moved on to clothes for Shay. She spotted a pink and white spotted shirt with 'Big Sister' across the front in big bold letters and had to have it even before she saw the pink hair bows it came with. It was the perfect way to make the announcement. They joined the massive queue at the front of the store, by the time they reached the checkout Shay was sleeping, head resting on her mother's shoulder. Erin could have sworn Shay was twice as heavy when asleep but still managed to make her purchases and get everything to the car.

It was a close call getting inside, Katie jumped up from the couch the moment the door opened, offering to take the bag of assorted baby clothing. Erin thanked her but brushed off the offer, rushing upstairs to put Shay to bed. She was desperate for the bathroom as well so she tossed the bag onto the end of the bed. Then she got distracted by the need to do washing. Shay slept for half an hour, giving Erin plenty of time to sort washing. They had a quick lunch then Erin grabbed out a plastic table cloth, some paper and pots of finger paint. "Can you paint Daddy a picture?" Erin asked, pulling a one of Kelly's old shirts over Shay's head.

"Look" Shay announced a few minutes later, having covered the paper in brightly coloured hand prints.

"Beautiful, another?" Erin asked, replacing the painting with a new sheet of paper. Shay continued to paint, not only the paper but herself as well. "What's this one?" She asked, pointing to one with lots of yellow, red and green.

"Food" Shay answered.

"For Daddy?" Erin questioned, not sure Shay even understood what she was being asked.

"Yes" Shay answered, with great certainty.

"You're right" Erin realised suddenly. "Daddy likes food"

"Yes" Shay nodded. Erin left Shay for a moment to grab her phone, desperately needing to make a phone call. She dialed the firehouse, requested Chief Boden and waited on hold while checking on Shay, paint now tangled in her hair. After introducing herself she made her request. "Is there any way I can borrow Kelly for two hours tonight?"

"Two hours?" Chief Boden asked, clearly shocked by the request.

"One and a half?" She revised down.

"What's so important?" He questioned.

"Dinner" She answered hesitantly, it had been a great idea until she considered the technicalities.

"Okay..." Chief Boden replied, clearly unconvinced.

"I'll babysit, anytime" Erin offered, fearing she was losing her opportunity.

"I'll do what I can but no promises. What time do you want him?" He asked deciding that free babysitting and a night out with Donna was worth losing his squad lieutenant for a few hours. I was likely going to be another quiet night anyway.

"Seven" She answered, looking at the clock, surely she could make a decent dinner in that time. "Oh, and you have to convince him to stop by" She added, hanging up before he could disagree. "Katie" She called, grabbing Shay around the waist and putting the lids on the paint before making her way upstairs. Shay had turned to eating the paint so it was time to pack up the activity anyway.

"Yeah?" Katie called back moving from her bedroom into the hallway.

"One second" Erin said, stepping into the bathroom to turn on the bath, Shay still squirming in her arms. "Okay, I know it's your day off but I really need your help" She started.

"With?" Katie asked cautiously.

"I want to make dinner for Kelly" Erin explained.

"Sure, what do you have in mind?" Katie questioned, already smiling.

"I have no idea, that's why I need your help" Erin admitted, checking the bath.

"Great, I'll see what we have, plan a menu and make a shopping list" Katie grinned, rushing off down the stairs.

"Are you sure? You don't have to" Erin called after her. Slightly surprised that things were going to plan so far. An hour later she was sure she'd been too hasty. After a completely nausea free morning she had stupidly thought she would be fine all afternoon as well. When she was up to her elbows in pasta dough probably wasn't the best time to realise she could no longer stand the sight or smell of lemons, the key ingredient in the dessert Katie was making.

"That's not done yet" Katie commented when Erin balled up the dough and left it on the bench while she washed her hands.

"I know" Erin replied, breathing through her mouth to avoid the lemon.

"Well we're already behind schedule" Katie said, trying to be authoritative but not bossy.

"I'm really sorry, I'll be back in a sec" Erin apologised, rushing from the room. Katie was confused and concerned so after making sure the kitchen was safe she followed Erin upstairs.

"Are you okay?" Katie questioned when she found Erin sitting on the bathroom floor.

"Fine" Erin replied quickly though it was obvious Katie didn't believe her.

"Are you sure dinner's a good idea?" Katie asked, looking particularly worried.

"Of course, I'll be fine in a minute" Erin assured with a smile, already starting to feel a little better.

"I don't mean to be rude or nosy but...are you...?" Katie enquired gently, not even needing to use the word to be understood. It was the only explanation she could think of and she'd had suspicions for a while.

"I'm pregnant" Erin nodded, there was no point trying to hide it any more. Kelly had been dying to tell Katie since the day she'd moved in. Then she realised he had probably wanted to tell her himself and felt terrible.

"Congratulations! That's so exciting!" Katie grinned.

"It is, but I can't really deal with lemon at the moment" Erin explained.

"That's fine, I have a lemon free backup dessert" Katie said, her thoughts shifting from the news of another niece or nephew to the dinner.

"You don't have to do that, I'll be fine with it again in twenty minutes or so" Erin said quickly.

"It's no trouble. I haven't started cooking yet, I've just been juicing them" Katie shrugged.

"Really?" Erin questioned.

"Yep, you take it easy and I'll handle dinner" Katie answered.

"No, I'm good now" Erin said as got up, determined not to make Katie responsible for executing something that had been her idea. Together they made their way downstairs. Erin stopped and sighed when she saw Shay, having somehow pulled down their coats from the hooks near the front door. It had been silly to think Shay would stay on the couch, 'reading' the way she had been for the last half hour when the chance to cause trouble arose. "What do you think you're doing?" Erin asked as she approached.

"No" Shay replied, stepping back, something behind her back.

"What do you have?" Erin requested, hanging the jackets back up before turning her attention to the toddler.

"No" Shay repeated.

"Show me" Erin instructed firmly.

"No" Shay squeaked.

"Please" Erin added, Shay frowned knowing she couldn't resist that. She slowly brought her hands to the front, revealing Erin's car keys in one hand. "You can play with those" Erin laughed, picking up Shay to carry her through to the kitchen where she could keep a closer eye on her. Once Shay was settled Erin washed her hands and continued with the pasta dough, following Katie's directions to roll and cut it. Other than finishing the pasta Erin didn't really get to contribute much to the rest of the meal preparation, Katie refused to give her anything more difficult than stirring to do. It did give her plenty of time to play with Shay, then organise her dinner and get her ready for bed, the jangle of keys replacing any verbal interaction.

"Alright, we have twenty minutes to clean up and set the table" Katie announced when Erin came back into the kitchen after putting Shay to bed, it was quite early but she hadn't had much of a nap. Kelly would be arriving in half an hour, assuming Chief Boden played his part.

"What can I do?" Erin asked feeling terrible, the whole thing had been her idea but she'd hardly done anything to execute it.

"You can set the table while I wash up" Katie informed knowing Erin was anxious to do something meaningful.

"You don't trust me to wash dishes?" Erin asked, feigning hurt.

"I expect hand holding at this dinner so you can't have pruny fingers" Katie justified, trying to look deadly serious.

"Okay" Erin laughed, it was very strange logic but she wasn't really going to fight for the right to wash dishes. She gathered everything she would need to set the table and moved to the dining room, determined that everything look perfect.

"Oh no!" Katie said, as something made a thud in the kitchen, Erin rushed to see what had happened.

"What's wrong?" Erin asked, confused when she saw the pork roast looking perfect.

"We didn't buy cherry tomatoes" Katie informed, rifling through the fridge again.

"That's not so bad, surely we can go without" Erin shrugged, it was already so much more than she could have done on her own.

"I guess" Katie said, clearly disappointed to have put so much effort into a meal only to miss a component.

"We still have time. I'll run to the shops and grab some" Erin proposed.

"Okay" Katie agreed, nodding eagerly.

"Shay has my keys" Erin groaned not wanting to wake her by searching for the keys. Then she realised it was hardly a problem. They had two cars and Kelly still insisted on driving to work with Matt, meaning she could just grab another set of keys.

"You don't have long" Katie reminded as she followed Erin to the front door.

"Keep an ear out for Shay, I'll be back in no time" Erin smiled, not stopping as she made her way over to the new car and climbed in.

* * *

><p>"Severide, can I talk to you for a minute?" Chief Boden requested the moment the squad guys threw in their cards to signal the end of another hand. Seven o'clock was ticking closer and he didn't want Kelly to be late for whatever Erin had planned.<p>

"Sure" Kelly answered, jumping up to follow the Chief outside. "What's up?" He asked when the Chief didn't start speaking.

"I don't want you to worry but..." Boden started, only to be cut off by the alarm calling them to action. _ Squad 3, Truck 81, Ambulance 61 - Motor vehicle accident, two car collision, corner of Marlborough and 37th._

"Can it wait?" Kelly asked, ready to spring to action the moment the Chief dismissed him.

"It'll have to" The Chief gave in, Kelly ran off to get to work. Ninety-eight percent of the time Kelly Severide loved his job. Fatalities and familiar faces made up the two percent he hated. They arrived at the scene, Kelly didn't waste any time climbing out of the truck, he rushed towards the cars then stopped suddenly. His halligan slipped from his gloved hand, clanging on the road as he recognised one of the cars, his car, their car.

**Thought I'd lull you into a false sense of security before dropping a cliffhanger on you...**

**Cyclone update: Everything is fine weather wise for the time being. It is flooding over the next few days that poses the most threat to me personally - we were flooded in 2011. And of course the 100+ km/h winds that they're predicting over the next few days could cause issues with powerlines. **


	64. Chapter 64

"Severide?" Capp asked almost running into the lieutenant who had stopped right in front of him.

"No" Kelly answered softly, starting to move, gaining speed as he neared the car, unable to see inside because of the airbags. He yanked the passenger door open and climbed in, first checking the backseat then turning to his unconscious wife. There was no time to acknowledge the relief he felt when he saw that Shay wasn't in the vehicle. "Erin?" He asked, though she was clearly unconscious, blood pouring down the side of her face.

"Don't move her" Mills said quickly as Kelly reached across, he pulled his hand back in response, not wanting to make things any worse than they already were. The young paramedic slid along the back seat until he was right behind Erin then set about stabilising her neck and sitting her up straight. Then he pressed a dressing into the cut on her head. "Hold this" Mills instructed leaving Kelly alone to see what was holding up the extrication. The pressure Kelly was applying wavered as the entire car shifted, the squad and truck team were towing the other car out of the way, freeing access to the drivers side of the car. Erin's blood had soaked through the dressing making Kelly too impatient to wait, he positioned himself carefully and started kicking at the door. It was badly crumpled and he made barely any progress until the squad guys started prying it open from the outside. The door opened and Kelly moved back, watching as they freed Erin and pulled her onto a spinal board, Brett started to bandage a fresh dressing around her head as they moved to the ambulance. She was free but Kelly suddenly found himself unable to move, shock getting the better of him. Casey appeared at the door, his mouth moving but making no sound, at least nothing audible over the pounding heartbeat in Kelly's head. Realising his words were having no effect Casey grabbed Kelly by the jacket and pulled him out of the car, dragging him towards the ambulance.

"Sir, stay sit still" Herrmann yelled drawing Kelly's attention to the other vehicle for the first time. Filled with rage he fought against Casey's grip, determined to find out what had caused the accident, Erin couldn't have been at fault given the positioning of the stop sign. Erin. He turned to look at the ambulance and knew it was more important to be with her. Mills and Brett had done what they could to prepare her for transport, pulling away the moment Kelly was seated in the back. Lights flashing and sirens blaring.

"She's going to be alright" Brett assured.

"What?" Kelly asked, the ability to communicate returning now that he could watch Erin's heart rate on the monitor, slow but even.

"She's going to be okay" Brett repeated, not sure she shouldn't be treating Kelly for shock.

"And the baby?" He asked, not having remembered their unborn child until now.

"She's pregnant?" Brett questioned, looking concerned.

"Yeah" He nodded, waiting for Brett to do something to check the baby. When she didn't do anything other than increase the IV flow rate he got annoyed. "Do something" He requested.

"I can't, we'll be at the hospital soon, they have the right equipment" Brett informed sympathetically.

"Do something. Please" Kelly pleaded.

"Mills ETA?" Brett called.

"Two minutes" Mills responded, swerving wildly to increase their speed. The transition from ambulance to emergency room was surprisingly smooth, Brett and Mills conveyed medical jargon to the doctors and nurses while Kelly tried to keep up. His uniform the only reason he was allowed in with her. He stood at the end of the bed, grasping her foot while trying to pay attention as the medical team methodically assessed her injuries.

"Laceration to the head" The doctor in charge said from his position at her head, peeling back the bandage to reveal the cut. Starting just off center, following her hairline for a few inches then disappearing backward into her hair at a right angle, still bleeding heavily.

"Doesn't seem to have any broken ribs and there are no obvious signs of internal bleeding" A nurse conveyed, cutting away Erin's shirt. Now the male doctor was flicking his his torch across her eyes.

"She's pregnant though" A young female doctor said, feeling Erin's lower abdomen carefully.

"Did they say how far along?" The male doctor asked, it would determine their course of action.

"Ten weeks" Kelly contributed quickly.

"Hmm" The male doctor said, a completely noncommittal noise that Kelly didn't know how to interpret. "Hang a bag of blood and get her up to radiology for a head CT" He instructed. A nurse rushed off to execute the commands.

"But the baby?" Kelly asked.

"There's nothing we can do, what happens happens, she's our priority" The male doctor answered. "Who are you anyway?" He questioned looking up at Kelly for the first time.

"She's my wife" Kelly informed.

"Then you can't be in here" The male doctor snapped harshly, looking scathingly at the nurse who he had decided was responsible for Kelly's presence.

"We need to check the extent of her head injury but her vitals look good" The female doctor said to Kelly, making eye contact and placing a hand on his arm reassuringly. After a moment of silence she tried to guide him through the curtain.

"You need to do something to check the baby" Kelly said firmly, refusing to move.

"We'll get a sonographer to have look when we know your wife is alright. It's too early to do anything though" She said, applying more pressure to his arm in order to get him moving.

"But..." Kelly argued weakly.

"Go through to the waiting room, I'll come get you the moment she's back" The female doctor instructed calmly, pulling to the side as the orderlies arrived to take Erin.

"Okay" Kelly accepted taking one last look at his dreadfully pale wife before allowing the doctor to walk him to the waiting room doors. He stepped out into the dull grey, completely silent, room and leaned against the wall while he tried to process everything. Struggling to stay upright he slid to the floor before pulling out his phone. He didn't look up when a phone started ringing at exactly the same time he started calling, there were dozens of people and it had to be a coincidence.

"How is she?" Hank Voight croaked sliding down next to Kelly.

"How did you?" Kelly asked, taking the phone from his ear to end the call.

"I have eyes everywhere" Voight answered mysteriously, usually Kelly would have questioned what he meant but right now he couldn't have cared less.

"She's alright, they're doing a scan of her head" Kelly explained.

"Is she conscious?" Voight questioned, not sure how worried he should be.

"Nope" Kelly replied.

"The baby?" Voight asked next.

"No idea" Kelly shrugged, angry and confused that the doctors hadn't done anything. He understood that Erin was their priority, and he knew they could always have another. He didn't want other children though, he wanted this one, the one he talked to, kissed and held his hand over protectively - he loved it so much already.

"I guess we wait then" Voight concluded, shifting into a more comfortable position, there were plenty of empty chairs but he didn't want to leave Kelly alone on the floor. Kelly nodded in response before resting his head in his hands. They waited impatiently, Kelly tapping his foot while Voight repeatedly clicked the pen he'd found in his pocket. Each annoying the other but too preoccupied with thoughts of Erin to comment.

"That's you" Voight said when Kelly didn't move to answer his phone, too deep in thought to hear it ringing. By the time he picked it up off the floor it was too late. He didn't get a chance to see who it was before the phone started to ring again, Katie's name flashing on the screen.

"Katie?" Kelly answered, it wasn't the best way to start a phone call but he could be forgiven considering the circumstances.

"Hey" Katie said softly, when Kelly didn't say anything she did. "It's Erin, she went to the shops half an hour ago and she still isn't back, I'm a little worried. And you're supposed to be here by now too. What's going on? We've been working all afternoon. I think it was going to be a surprise but we made you dinner. We were missing cherry tomatoes so she dashed to the shops. Is she with you?" Katie rambled clearly anxious.

"Cherry tomatoes?" He asked seemingly absorbing the least important piece of information from the call. Erin had nearly died and their baby might well have, for cherry tomatoes.

"Yeah" Katie answered, sounding uncertain.

"She had a car accident" Kelly said after a moment, getting up to walk away from Voight. Hoping pacing would soothe the growing pain in his chest.

"What? No. Is she okay?" Katie questioned, her excitement instantly replaced by concern.

"I don't know" He answered honestly.

"What can I do?" Katie asked, sounding panicked.

"I don't know, nothing, you've done enough." He answered. "What were you thinking? Were you even thinking? She's pregnant. Freaking tomatoes. I don't even like tomatoes. She's pregnant!" Kelly ranted finding it easier to blame Katie than think rationally.

"Kelly..." Katie started but he was too angry to listen to her excuses, he hung up, looking long and hard at the electronic device in his hand. The more he thought about it the more he regretted everything he'd said.

"Feel better now?" Voight enquired, appearing behind Kelly.

"Shut up" Kelly replied. Voight was a little shocked but didn't let it show. Kelly tried to ignore the older man's presence as he hit redial and waited, frustrated when Katie didn't answer.

"You should probably go apologise" Voight recommended when Kelly shoved the phone into his pocket furiously after a second and third attempt.

"What? Go? No" He argued immediately, settling on the edge of the nearest chair. Of course he knew he would have to deal with the repercussions of his own stupidity eventually, he wanted to know that Erin was going to be alright first though.

"Go apologise" Voight insisted.

"Don't tell me what to do" Kelly said as he stood again, stepping forward intimidatingly, he was bigger than Voight and so emotionally charged he might just resort to settling the disagreement physically.

"Go home, apologise, change into something comfortable. It's going to be a long night" Voight tried to reason, not at all threatened.

"I can't leave her" He said, flopping back into the chair. He felt useless waiting around, talking to Katie was something he had to do, the sooner the better.

"Go" Voight instructed, handing over his car keys. "I'm parked in the drop-off zone out the front."

"Fine" Kelly gave a quick nod and pulled himself up, the sooner he left the sooner he could get back.

* * *

><p>"Katie" Kelly called the moment he stepped through the front door, all the lights downstairs were off. He couldn't help but smell that they had been cooking, he wanted for it to make him angry but instead he just felt sad. The light escaping around the edge of her bedroom door indicated Katie was awake so Kelly didn't hesitate to knock. "Katie, can I come in?" He asked gently.<p>

"No" She called back, even through the door he could tell she'd been crying.

"Please? I'm really sorry" Kelly apologised, worried by the the thumping and thudding of drawers and cupboards opening and closing.

"Well you don't need to be. I do! You're right, it was my fault" Katie said, pulling the door open forcefully enough that it slammed into the wall. She pushed past him, headed for the stairs as Kelly noticed the drawers hanging open. Empty.

"No it wasn't, where are you going?" He called as he followed her downstairs, grabbing at the bag she was carrying. Even lugging all her belongings she was still moving too quickly for him to catch. Halfway down the front stairs he heard Shay's screams, she'd been startled awake by the commotion and had by now discovered she was alone. He rushed back into the house and up the stairs finding Shay crying on their bed, snuggled up on Erin's pillow. "Come here baby" Kelly whispered, moving onto the bed to calm Shay. Something plastic crumpled underneath him but he didn't even try to investigate until Shay had stopped crying. He couldn't tell what it by feel so he flicked on the bedside lamp. Grasping a pink and white spotted shirt he flipped it, the words on the front were too much. Holding Shay even tighter he let himself cry, just for a moment, as he reflected on how close he had been to buying an older model car. He had made the right decision and the safety features had saved her. Erin was alive and he was wasting time, he moved to get up then spotted something blue and yellow hanging out of the bag. Curiosity overcame him and he pulled it out, a tiny coverall with a white rabbit embroidered on the front. He dropped it as soon as he realised what it was, springing back as if it was electrically charged. Not thinking about it was easier. "Let's go see Mama" He said to Shay, who was dozing in his arms. Stopping in Shay's room he shoved some things into a bag for her, grabbing her favourite blanket from her bed and finding Erin's keys in the process. Driving Erin's car meant he wouldn't have to mess around with Shay's car seat, something he didn't have the patience for at the best of times. He used the drive to the hospital to prepare himself. Erin and Shay needed him, now more than ever, to be strong.

"I take it things didn't go well" Voight commented when Kelly walked into the waiting room with Shay.

"Have you heard anything?" Kelly asked, ignoring Voight's comment as he dropped the bag to the floor.

"I can take her" Halstead volunteered, looking at Shay. Kelly hadn't even noticed the familiar faces in the room until that moment. The entire intelligence unit and most of his colleagues from the firehouse sat nearby, all looking as concerned as he felt.

"Thanks" Kelly nodded, handing the sleeping toddler over without a second thought. He pulled a blanket from the bag and draped it over Halstead's shoulder, protecting Shay's face from the harsh light.

"It shouldn't be much longer" Voight said just as the female doctor burst through the doors. Kelly recognised her immediately and moved towards her, meeting each other halfway. Voight followed quickly while everyone else stayed put, expressions shifting from concerned to hopeful.

"You probably want to see this" The doctor said excitedly, holding open the door for them. They followed her unquestioningly along the corridor to the curtained off section where Erin lay. A sonographer stood over her, looking intently at the screen, the sound of a steady thudding heartbeat filling the space. Kelly moved to Erin's free side, grasping her hand as he watched and listened to the tiny hear beating away just as it was supposed to. He was happy enough to cry. Voight gave Kelly a manly thump on the back, blinking away the tears that formed in his own eyes.

**I love to write Voight as a big softie! This chapter was all over the place and took a whole heap of writing, editing and rewriting before I was satisfied. There was so much I wanted to happen - I especially liked writing the scene with Kelly in their bedroom looking at Erin's purchases. Unfortunately making him fight with Katie was the only thing I could think of to get him home!**


	65. Chapter 65

Kelly refused to leave her side from that point on. He listened intently as her doctor explained that it was up to her now. She could wake up at any moment, tonight or next week. Kelly knew one thing for sure, he would be there when she did. An obstetrician stopped by to discuss the baby's health, cautiously optimistic but also warning that only time would tell. They wheeled Erin up to a room on a ward, Kelly and Voight settling in for a long night. After about an hour Voight got up to go find coffee, thinking he'd stop by and see who was still in the waiting room. Most people had given up for the night, he didn't blame them. Those who remained were happy to hear that Erin was alright and demanded phone calls when she was up for visitors. Halstead had stretched out across three chairs, sleeping heavily with Shay snuggled on his chest. Voight tried to wake him, but that only seemed to make Shay wriggle so he gave up, straightening her blanket before continuing on to the cafeteria.

Kelly watched Erin hopefully, whispering to her now that they were alone. "You've got to wake up now or you'll miss work, I know you'd hate that. And there's always Shay to consider, she's sleeping now, I think, but in the morning she's going to want to see you, awake. You know I need you too, and the baby, but I think it's enjoying the bed rest. You've been doing way too much lately. Dinner tonight, that was a good idea, I don't know how you were planning on getting me off shift. If that's what this was, some elaborate plan to get me away from work then it you definitely pulled if off! Sorry. I'd say just about anything to get you to wake up" He finished, just as Voight returned.

"Here you go" Voight said as he handed over a steaming cup of coffee.

"Thanks" Kelly replied, swapping the hand he was using to hold Erin's so he could drink properly.

"Did I miss anything?" Voight questioned, though it was fairly obvious he hadn't.

"No" Kelly sighed as they settled back into a comfortable silence. "Did you see Shay?" He asked as he stood to dispose of his empty coffee cup, unable to sit still a moment longer. He felt terribly neglectful to have just handed her to Halstead and run off.

"She's sleeping on Halstead, they're both fine" Voight informed, leaning as far back as he could.

"Okay" Kelly accepted, feeling a little less like a terrible parent.

"Don't worry I'm sure he'll find us the moment she wakes up" Voight assured.

"Probably" Kelly laughed, at least Halstead was a familiar face to her. Silence again. Not for as long though.

"You know you don't need to worry about Erin, she's tough" Voight said watching Kelly instead of Erin for a moment.

"She's not invincible" Kelly replied carefully, it was hard to admit.

"Pretty damned close though, the way she bounced back as a kid. I've seen people who let a childhood like hers drag them down for their whole lives" Voight beamed, clearly proud of Erin. Kelly took a moment to think, realising he had never spoken with Voight about Erin as a teen.

"Why did you take her in?" Kelly asked, slightly more abruptly than intended.

"She had potential, bucket loads of potential. All she needed was someone to care, that's not hard, she made it so easy. And my wife loved her, that certainly helped" Voight answered.

"Hmm" Kelly nodded, his wife was an expert at overcoming adversity. He just wished she'd overcome this setback faster. He ached to see her eyes light up when she smiled. As if feeling his desperation her fingers moved in his hand. Kelly shifted forwards immediately, opening his hand to see the ever so slight movement. Voight noticed the change too, sharing a quick,hopeful look with Kelly when her head flopped to the side. "C'mon Erin, just open your eyes" Kelly coaxed, moving his fingers against hers. It took a moment but her eyes fluttered open, only to be scrunched closed again, the light too bright for her. Her heart rate increased as she she cracked one eye open, looking straight at Kelly, clearly unfocused. Erin let out a deep breath as she closed the eye slowly then seemed to drift back to sleep. Tired and a little disappointed Kelly released her hand and got up to pace.

"It's progress" Voight said encouragingly.

"I know" Kelly answered, almost running into the nurse in his distracted state. Margo, the nurse assigned to conduct Erin's hourly observations, was pleased to hear she had regained consciousness, even if it was only very briefly. She assured both worried men that it was a good sign then left them to monitor her, requesting they press the call button if she made any sign of waking. It was well after midnight when she started to stir again, moving both her hands to pull the sheets into tight fists. A tiny whimper of pain was all it took to have both men on their feet. Kelly rubbing circles on the back of her hand while Voight raced off to get a doctor. "It's okay, I'm right here" Kelly soothed trying to loosen her incredible grip. Her eyes opened, watering as they adjusted to the light and blinking rapidly. After a quick look around she released the sheet, her right hand flew to her stomach as her left reached up to clutch her head.

"Argh" She groaned as the intense pain in her head flared.

"It's okay, the doctor's on his way" Kelly said softly, not sure what he could do to help.

"The baby? Is the baby?" She asked, concern fighting through the pain.

"It's fine" He nodded quickly.

"Are you sure?" She questioned, looking at him as if he'd told a blatant lie.

"Yes" He promised, reaching up to cup her cheek with his hand.

"But...the baby" She managed before letting her hand fall from her head, it was too much. All she wanted was for sleep to take the pain away. Her whole body seemed to relax as Kelly started stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Stay awake" Kelly demanded when her eyes closed.

"Erin, Erin can you open your eyes for me?" The doctor requested as he rushed into the room, closely followed by Voight.

"Why?" She asked, still conscious after all.

"I just need to see that you can" The doctor explained.

"Is my baby alright?" She questioned, opening her eyes to look at the doctor. The pain returned, stronger than before, she tried to ignore it focused on the doctor.

"Yes" The doctor answered quickly.

"Is it really?" She asked, trying desperately to sit up.

"Erin, the baby is fine" Voight said firmly, stepping past the doctor to lay a hand on her shoulder. She started to cry, curling into a tight ball and grasping his hand with both of her own.

"Please don't lie" She managed between sobs, Kelly had moved onto the bed behind her, rubbing her back gently.

"Erin, how much pain are you in? Out of ten with ten being the worst?" The doctor asked needing more information before he could determine an appropriate response. He wasn't sure if she was crying because her head hurt or because she was concerned for her baby.

"Six" She answered after a long pause.

"Erin" Kelly scolded, it clearly wasn't the truth.

"Eight" Erin conceded. "But my baby" She said, the hopelessness and pain in her voice indicated she was fighting to speak at all.

"Okay, I'll get you something for the pain then we'll check the baby" The doctor decided, leaving the room as quickly as he had entered. Kelly and Voight made eye contact, both equally concerned about her behaviour as she continued to cry softly. Neither knew what to say or do so they just stayed as they were until the doctor returned. He injected something into the line of her IV then stepped back looking satisfied.

"Oh" Erin murmured after a few minutes, noticing that she could open her eyes without feeling like a truck was parked on her head.

"Better?" Kelly asked as she uncurled a little, releasing Voight's hand in the process.

"Better" She nodded, stopping when the movement caused a surge of pain.

"Everything is going to be okay" Kelly smiled, looking up to see the doctor had disappeared.

"Are you really sure?" She croaked, turning her attention to her flat stomach, there no way for her to know they were telling the truth.

"Of course, the baby is fine, and so are you. I promise" Kelly said, looking her straight in the eye, using his most serious expression and tone.

"Kid, why would we lie?" Voight asked, trying to reason with her. He understood she was scared but she wasn't beyond seeing logic.

"I don't know" She frowned. There wasn't a chance for her to construct an argument as the doctor returned, looking triumphant.

"Sorry to run off. This is a fetal doppler, so you can hear the baby's heart" He apologised and explained. She lifted the hospital gown without instruction, he stepped forward and got to work applying the gel before pressing the doppler probe to her stomach. He moved it slowly and carefully until a strong steady heartbeat could be heard. Tears of relief streamed down her face as she was finally convinced.

"I'm sorry" She said said, looking from Voight to Kelly. They didn't need an apology and were quick to dismiss the notion. The doctor showed her how to operate the compact device then left it on the side table along with the bottle of gel.

"Try to get some rest" The doctor added as he paused for a moment in the doorway. Kelly had wanted her awake so desperately but now that she was he could feel exhaustion creeping in. They tried to talk but couldn't think of anything meaningful to say. After half an hour of long silences, punctuated by yawns, Voight decided to head home. He promised he would be back first thing in the morning, leaving the couple to cuddle together on the narrow hospital bed. Erin eventually slept, Kelly holding her tightly to his chest. Even though he was thoroughly exhausted it took a long time to get to sleep, every time he closed his eyes he pictured her back in the car, feeling the same fear all over again. He had no choice but to open his eyes, take in every detail of her sleeping face, paying special attention to her deep, even breaths to calm himself. Then he would close his eyes and try again. Eventually getting to the point where he was too tired to open them again, he could feel that she was still there, still breathing. That was all that mattered, as long as he could feel her breathing he could sleep.


End file.
